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llimus — vent
Published: 2012-08-18 01:21:50 +0000 UTC; Views: 756; Favourites: 31; Downloads: 0
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Again. It's a vent. Don't like = don't read.---------------------
I don't get what's wrong with me sometimes. I can be happy, I know I can. I've been there before. I'm there sometimes, still.
But a lot of the time, I'm fretting. I'm dreading. I'm depressed.
Angry, confused, stressed, worried; synonyms upon synonyms.
I mean-- lately... I'm... just a fuck-up. A complete and utter fuck-up. I don't care what some people might say, they don't know what the hell is going on in my head. I don't even know sometimes.
Real life situations just... stress me out. They pressure me. So I try and escape... I don't fix anything, I don't think about anything... I've stopped trying.
I just... pop online or play a game or just... fantasize about shit....
My heart is gone. My will, too. It's been torn from my chest... what feels like ages ago. I used to say that... design-wise... it was because someone stole it. Someone special. A knight in armor. One whom I hadn't yet met. The thoughts of a romantic, hopeless.
I see no one that I think could ever care about me like that. I see no one I could ever care about like that. ...not really...
And of course I don't mean a simple friendship... I've already got good friends. I know I do and I am grateful for that.
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Comments: 19
Ah, what was this quote from? Hnnnnn not sure if this is the right attribution but it's the quote I want. “No matter how hard you try to keep it away, despair would attack you again and again. In the same matter, hope will return to you. Again and again.”
--Natsuki Takaya
I'm not smart enough to not steal other people's words. But, things will get better soon enough, just as they'll be crashy soon enough again. Circle of life. Just keep on doing what you love near the people you love. Doesn't get much better than that.
Disney sucks big time. I mean, they're awesome, but they put this idea that someday there's going to be this prince charming out there for all of us. That ain't fair to little girls. What there are out there are people messed up just as bad as everyone else and trying to make a go at fixing their problems by getting into relationships. I could go on about this but really the important thing is we all have problems.
What you want to find is someone who wants to fix your problems with you. And you for them. It just takes time to get to know people, to care about them enough... Thus finding your special somepony isn't as easy as a knight in shining armor coming to save the day.
As for the running away to the computer thing, you're toooootally not alone on that. Videogames were my haven-from-real-life before I discovered the wonders of the internet. That and books.
'course I'm prolly late on the help train 'cuz I went out camping with my dad for the first part of the weekend.
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More nice things... you're killing me with kindness.... <:'c <3
Ahaha, yeah... Disney is a stinker... and I know. I'm--... just noticing you said "special somepony" hee...
And yeah. I mean... I've kinda' got my eye on someone of that description, but...
In myyy... situation, I don't expect anything lasting.
You're fine...~
I barely posted this a day ago. It still helps. c:> <333
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Well that'd be a nice way to go, huh? Should I continue?
I only recently finished season two, but I know you're a fan.
Situations are only as bad as they are. I dunno. Things tend to last or not last depending on the people involved; although sometimes situations are not helpful at all. But, if you've got a shot, better to go for it than regret not. Think of it as if you were eighty telling yourself what you should do. Would you regret not?
... 'course my knowledge is completely limited to me'n word. but that 'think about it as if you were eighty' thing has not steered me wrong so far.
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No, I like living... ;~; <3
Aha, yeah... I'm probably a bigger brony than I am a Pkmn fan orz.
bleh... yeah but I'll regret anything I do
at this point
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I don't normally comment on vents, I just let people vent at me, but the feeling of being worthless, problematic, hopeless, unable to do anything, pretty much every other negative emotion at once...not an unfamiliar feeling, and I am an empathetic person. Sometimes we forget the good in ourselves.
Now. I may not know you as well, but I can guarantee you're not a fuck-up. And I hope that you find your way out of the dumps before long.
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i came here to compliment you on this drawing because imo youve been getting a lot better w art and stuff and im really proud of you because of it :") but i can sympathize with you a lot in your vent i dont know if you wanna here it or nto!! but yeah irl things freak me out too and send me into really dumb sad periods and nowaday im really upset feeling and its pretty much constant,, [i have no clue how to help this it,,, was kinda a 'yeha me too!!' thing so,,,,,,,,,,, er r soRry dsj]
bu
BHTU i hope thta somehow things turn out alright for you and im m m gonna wish you luck on it even if it wont do much ,,,heh >:
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I know you may not want to hear this right now, but I'm going to say it anyway. I know things may seem hard right now, but I promise they get better. I've been through some dark times in my life and felt like a fuck-up myself, but it did get better. You have so many people who love and care about you, and I promise you're not a fuck-up. You're a wonderful person and one my best friends. You know more about me than most people in my life, and I feel like the luckiest guy on earth to know you. I can't tell you how happy I am that I built up the courage to say hello to you. You know you can always talk to me, and you know that I care about you. You will find that special someone because anyone would be lucky to be with you. You just have to wait, as much as that hurts to hear. I know it hurts, I really do, and sometimes I worry if I'll ever find someone who loves me for who I am. But I won't give up hope, and you shouldn't either. Please just see how amazing of a person you are, because I and everyone else who knows you can see it.
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It's fine. c:>;
And thanks... I'm really glad we started talking. c:> <3
You're too nice to me sometimes... v^v; <3
you worry too much about that--you're a nice guy. c:> <3
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Me too, and I just want you to be happy. <3
I know, I know. It's just that most people would have a hard time looking past certain things, so my chances seem pretty slim. Like I said though, I'm not going to lose hope.
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Sorry you aren't on the tops of the world. You aren't alone maybe not in the same situation but still, not alone. I hope things get better Bunneh. Sorry I've been distant I'd give you a big hug but I'm not around anymore or even in Pensacola.
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No... I know I'm not alone.
I don't like complaining because I know that, but sometimes it's just too much, you know...?
Yeah, I didn't think you were... Full Sail, right...?
And... thanks. c:>
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Yeah I understand completely.
No actually I decided against it. I went to USA instead. They have a marching band and they pay me. I'm happy OTL.
<3 of course.
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Aha, well that's good~
Whatever makes you happier. c:
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Ahh, I'm sorry you're feeling so down lately.
I know I'm not good at cheering up but I honestly hope things get better!
;n; <3
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