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LuckyStarhun — Tales of Babylonia page 33
#cellshading #colo #comic #digital #digitalart #humans #oc #pages #photoshop #webcomic #originalcharacter #talesofbabylonia
Published: 2016-04-28 11:32:55 +0000 UTC; Views: 847; Favourites: 9; Downloads: 0
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Description
The new page is here, I hope you like it! I think I have managed to improve the lighting, the new page looks less dull. I am not sure though if I overdid the saturation, let me know what you think!
The anatomy is not perfect, I got really frustrated while drawing the hands and they look totally off 
Please leave feedback, I really want to know what you think!
Any helpful advice is appreciated!Previous: :thumb602818446:
Next: I decided to redo the pages and write a proper script. This means the comic will be on hold for a while. Thank you for your patience! ^^
First: talesofbabylonia.wordpress.com…
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www.facebook.com/luckystarhun PaigeeWorld: www.paigeeworld.com/u/luckysta…
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Comments: 27
Another one? Oh my god! This one is awesome aswell
It's great, I'm really in love with the setting so far (and the backgrounds. Those palm trees!)
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Thank you
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Oh yeah, I totally understand that. One project at a time is enough to handle!
>w> -gets comfy and stays patient-
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Aww, thanks for your patience, if you hold out until the end of this comic without unfollowing, then you deserve to read the another one too since I will need to draw something after I finished this ^^
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OH MY GOSH THIS COMIC MUST CONTINUE
THE ART IS GORGEOUS
THE STORY IS SO INTERESTING
HNNGGH
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I'm glad you think so xD It's on hold because I don't have much time, I cannot make two comics at a time and I need to get faster at digital art xD I plan to redo it and continue it in the future but my time schedule in the following months is totally unsure (after the school, I mean). Hopefully I can get a job and see what I can do besides that. Anyway, it will be continued but only next year at best, no sooner
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XD Awwww man! Well, do take your time. This comic is definitely the most epic of the two!
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Thanks for letting me know, I was not sure which is better xD
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Haha it's a matter of opinion, really! XD It's just that the landscapes and ideas and art behind this one are so interesting and deviantart has a billion wolf comics. How many Egyptian-themed lore comics do you know of on DA? o:
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In fact that one is a mixed historical comic (not totally, it has a lot of fantasy elements), the background story transcends time and has the Egyptians in it : D But if we speak about the whole story, it has more to do with the Romans : D (I like the ancient Egyptians but for inspiration, I like the the ancient Rome more xD)
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Hi there. I'm another ProjectComment fella.
So this does look pretty interesting all-in-all but I think you should really try and focus on your art a little more, because I really feel like you could have given a little more to the detail but you skipped it because of difficulty or laziness. I try to make it a point to always do my very best- but don't take it the wrong way. I don't mean you didn't do your best, I'm saying that you should keep trying to go at it a little harder.
Things I think you should work on:
-From the first four panels you really messed up the ordering of how things work. I've been making and roughing comics and manga for a long time now and when you mess up the paneling it can really mess up the whole page. You can fix that by really organizing the panels- for example, the big panel seems really out of place and doesn't direct the emphasis of the event in any specific direction.
-The other thing that really bothers me is the way you have the proportion of the hands too small in comparison to their actual bodies. Just a note, when you draw hands, they are usually a little smaller than the face of the body you are drawing. You should try and sketch bodies and anatomy a little more so you can get a really good feel for this. [In fact there are a lot of disproportional body parts on this page alone]
-In the fifth panel the dust cloud is really confusing. The front wheel seems to go in front of the dust cloud. Also clouds usually don't have outlines but you should still be able to make out their general shape, and they don't look blurry, in fact its more like a filter that is on top of things, but the object behind it are still clear and do not blur.
-And the backgrounds. Never skip the detail of the backgrounds. I know it can get tedious and tiring, but to really bring things with big scenes out, you need some good backgrounds. Not necessarily eye-catching just adequate for the scene that it is in.
I think you are really good, so don't just draw for the sake of drawing. Drawing anything should be an opportunity to get better. Keep it up!
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Thank you for your feedback! It really helps me get better and I will keep in mind your suggestions when I get to redo the pages (though that won't happen until I get as much feedback as possible, as when I redo it, I'll make the best out of it).
For the first four panels you are right, I was not happy with them either but had no idea what is the issue, so thanks for pointing it out. In fact I tend to get distracted and sometimes frustrated when I am drawing humans, because I have not practiced enough yet and there is the feeling that something is off. Knowing exactly what is not correct is helpful to get these things right (I am always dissatisfied with the hands, but I hope I will get better at it).
I'm glad you have taken the time to write this, I rarely get constructive comments from people who have been making comics for a long time. This is what I need to get better.
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Don't worry. You're a great artist.
If you need any help with your comics, I'd be happy to help. If you need yo know anything or help in making a page at all go ahead and note me specifically. I've been making comics for a long time and I'd be happy to help you///
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Thank you, I will think about asking you as I go on with the pages!
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Hi ! I'm from ProjectComment I'm still new with this constructive comments and all but I'll try my best !!
What I saw even in the miniature was your drawing in the right with the Pharaoh, the way you used the colors add a nice effect and give more drama in this panel. The kind of dust texture is well made. I came in the middle of your story so I don't really know the beginning so I can't really say anything on that. I think on the other hand, that your text isn't really well seen. The typo is nice but the texte is too small to be read easily (and that's what you want, impact with image and visibility for the words.
On the anatomy, I think that it would be helpful to do some exercise. (ex: for the arms that are a little off, like in panel 2 from the left (the guy holding the object); the left arms of the Pharaoh that seems stuck, and the arms of the last bottom panel the man in the right has big trouble with his left arms. (The other have few problems too). I know it's hard but you can work on hands too (ex : on the third panel with the couple holding the basket,...). You can find some good tutorial with the head and the skull, your heads aren't always equal and sometimes it even doesn't help you putting the face right : in the last panel the first left guy have his ear too low, etc.
You can add more detail in your background for a better impact, so that we can travel all around your page, and feel like we are here with your characters.
It's a good work that promise some good stuff ! I think you'll get better at this because I can already see that you put effort on this, and determination and work always prevail ! Good luck !!
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Thank you for your feedback! It's nice to know what is off, I need to practice the anatomy. I seem to have problems drawing with my small pen tablet, as I work on my laptop. I'm not sure why but I have trouble drawing circles and other basic shapes correctly with the device... I need to practice how to use it properly as digital work seems harder than working with pencils, but that's why I am doing this comic digitally. But indeed I put effort in it, your comment is helpful as to how to make it better!
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Oh, I can totaly relate to that. I used to draw on a Bamboo tablet, and I just couldn't. I thought at first that digital was just not my thing, I couldn't help but come back to my good old pencil. Then, one day I tried again with a Wacom intuos A4, and it was magic (not really at first ahha) but I felt way better. Maybe because it was bigger or just that I was "ready" for it ? I don't really know but I remember how it felt odd for me. So, don't worry you'll make it ! I don't really remember when, but it started to come naturally (to draw on my tablet and that it was more of a drawing that just some mess, oh god it's always so weird to see my old drawings ahha), so I hope it'll be like that for you as well !
And I have to say that you try to do things that are complicated (like perspective etc.) that other doesn't try because they doesn't feel comfortable and that is just a really good way to see that you have good potential !
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Oh, I have already gone a long way since I first used my tablet. If you see my first deviation in my gallery, the lines are a total mess, now it is much better! 
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Hello, I'm here from ProjectComment
So, as it appears, I'm kind of starting in the middle, so I have no idea of the previous events, but from what it seems from this single page, it appears someone took a sword from Babylon (perhaps an enchanted one) and I sense a possibility of a connection to the Arthurian legend, but can't sure. So what I got is, they took the sword, the magic caused all the food to go away, and now all the people go complaining to a apparently fairly gracious pharaoh (I know there were many pharaohs, some were good, other weren't, but when I read pharaoh, the first thing I think about, is well... The Pharaoh. You know, like Moses's Pharaoh).
And so, the king/pharaoh sends the sword back, but in the middle of the returning journey, the sword is stolen by a mysterious entity (bandits maybe?) and the men now are fighting with it/them.
The atmosphere was well done, we are definitely in a desert (of course it's obvious, but you had the sand and dust set the atmosphere). You did pretty good the characters. When comes to the hands, you do need practice (the same is for me as well, so you aren't alone in this), but as long as you are patient and persevere, you can do it. You have great skills already, I cannot imagine what it would look like when you become the master of all... ahem, I mean, when you skills are as hone as a sharpened sword.
All in all, this seems to be an interesting comic series, and this strip in particular took a lot of skill to make! I love it
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Thank you for your critique! I'm glad you like the story and you are not mistaken about the Arthurian legend, since there is a connection
The sword is meant to be wielded by kings who rule the world but they don't have influence over natural events.
The pharaoh orders that the sword is taken to Babylon to perform a ritual and ask the gods for help, but some folks want to put their hands on that precious weapon... more precisely, they are the Assyrians, who where not actually the kindest people in the ancient Mideast and for their enemies, they might have been considered bandits. Still they managed to build an empire so maybe they knew something. So this scene takes place at the time when the Egyptians had hassle with the emerging Assyrians. I hope to have my skills mastered, your feedback helps me doing so! Hands are still a bit of a problem, but that will get better with practice.
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You have nice setting there, but people will want some variation on those people. I don't think all bald men, same skin color and kilts will attract various audiences. I know bald is popular right now(One Punch man fame XD) but only that protagonist is bald and looks simple. You can add more gesture and movement there, like the horse pulling that cart, and movement of wheels. Nice job making a comic, and its original! Hope it's constructive,
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Thank you for your critique! You're right, I will add more variation to people, but I am really clumsy drawing humans (I have been drawing animals mostly until recently) and that's why I am sloppy at some point. I tried drawing hair as women are not bald but I was not happy with the result so I decided that there will be no more hair on the page... This will change in the future as I am getting better at this and learn to draw more things properly.
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Simple decoration will do. Just put mohawk hair or brace.
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I will try that, thanks!
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Your welcome. Glad I have done something positive.
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