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luniara — I Know You're There
Published: 2016-09-11 13:00:03 +0000 UTC; Views: 4090; Favourites: 278; Downloads: 31
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Description
It's really hard to think of what to say this year. This week I've been okay, believe it or not. Perhaps once or twice I caught my eyes tearing up at a song that makes me think of my sister or a 9/11 facebook post or news article where people practiced ignorance caused me to fume BUT...I am okay.For those unaware, I am now 8 months pregnant. It is my first baby. While I had been hoping it was going to be a girl so I can name her after my sister, I feel in my heart that she'd still be proud of me (and of course, I will still love my boy). I had thought "Oh, I'm pregnant, I'm going to be SUUUUPER emotional". Maybe I'm too tired or achey to focus on it or maybe my trip to New York last year really did give me closure. Hey, it could be my impending motherhood that helps as well. I know that helped my big brother. It goes without saying that 15 years and a pregnancy doesn't make me miss my sister any less. I'll always cringe at the very sight of the towers. I'll always get mad when someone goes "WAKE UP, 9/11 was an inside job" or says a variety of other stupid things you can say around a 9/11 family member. I keep hearing this year is the first year where school will teach 9/11 as a part of history or something. It angers me a tad, maybe even makes me jealous I can't shrug it off as easy as that.
This week, I was actually worried I wouldn't get the desire to work on this piece. There was almost a discussion that maybe I didn't NEED to finish it at all. I think this year is less about splashing my emotions on a canvas and more about honoring my sister and her memory. I think that's a good thing. Who knows, maybe it'll change next year when I have my little boy and my life is in a different direction. A part of me hopes I can continue to do this. It's a nice testament. While this year people will sit and reflect "Wow, 15 years, my gooooosh" and next year they won't bat an eye until the 20th year rolls around - I'll be able to remind folks with pieces like this and if only for a moment, you'll know who my sister was and all the others that were lost. It's a good way to keep their memories alive.
I'm sorry this isnt my usual emotional description. I admit, I had good company keeping my spirits up and my husband, as always, is there to catch me when I begin to crack. Tomorrow I am meeting with my mom and bringing flowers to the cemetery. She'll actually be speaking at a ceremony later in the evening, which I am super proud of her for doing. I hope she does well, that's for sure.
Anyways, this year, my technique surprised me. While usually I print out a blue digital sketch and clean it up with pencil to scan it in, I went full digital. The line work really pleased me. I almost was tempted to keep it black and white because of how intense it looked. I wanted to incorporate a lot of gold but also stay with my usual brown/earthy pattern I use every year. I used gold foil texture for the background to really make the center figure pop. Like last year, I incorporated a variety of flowers that symbolize different things. Sunflowers, which were my sister's favorite. Babies breath for everlasting love and innocence, primrose for renewal (new baby) and of course, the white rose for purity. Aside from the primrose, it's a similar bouquet I get made up to be placed at the cemetery. I enjoyed working out the little details of the piece. It kept my mind focused and tamed my emotions a lot.
If you'd like a few close up of the details, you can see them here:
img.photobucket.com/albums/v33…
img.photobucket.com/albums/v33…
As always, I truly appreciate the support through the years, especially from those of you who come around just to visit my page for this particular piece. In a way, I think I do this for you too.
If you've reached this far of my description, please take a moment to think of the lives lost and remember them.
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To see my previous years for my 9/11 pieces:
2015 - I Can't Live Within You
2014 - Love Without Your Heartbeat
2013 - Live Without Your Sunlight
2012 - Deliver Me
2011 - Mendless Heart
2010 - Only Time
2009 - Streets of Heaven
2008 - If you came back from heaven
2007 - Who can say?
2006 - Watermarked in my mind
My sister:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_WQke…
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2b_b8F…
www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFDph0…
www.patreon.com/Luniara
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Comments: 18
I wish many blessings to you and your family.
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This is a lovely piece. You always make such wonderful art for her every year, it would take a complete fool to not realize how much she means to you or how much you miss her. I couldn't imagine any of what you've had to go through with this loss, but just seeing these memorial pieces you do makes me tear up. I'm sorry you lost her.
If your baby is a boy and you still want to name him after her, have you looked into a masculine version of her name? Something close to hers that could still be considered a boy's name? I'm sure she'd be happy regardless, just so long as you and your child are doing okay.
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I actually came here, remembering that your sister as a victim, just to see what you'd post up today or say. I don't think I lost anyone I knew, friend, family or otherwise. And, I don't believe I'm really close to people who did either...but it's interesting that, whenever I think of 9/11, you and your sister pop into my head.
I'm glad you got the closure that you needed. Regardless of my opinions on the matter, I'd not mind visiting the memorial someday. I'll probably cry though. Empath and all
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I think it was 2009 when I first found these 9/11 artworks of yours, and since then I have come back every year to see the new one. It's always touching to read your description and see how you're doing. And, of course, see the amazing artwork itself. This year was no exeption. This piece looks great.
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I think this year is my favorite so far. It has that ache to it but shows a level of acceptance(i don't feel that is the right word though) and I love the fact that it really shows the honor toward your sister.
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Once again...I am here. Another year passes and you bring me to tears.
I've been watching you here on DA for years...I don't know exactly how many...but it's been quite a while. And every year on this day I log on SPECIFICALLY for this piece. I can't tell you what it's like for me to have watched you grow and shine over the years, but it truly has been wonderful. Even though we've never met or spoken outside of DA, even though I don't even know what you look like...every time I come to your page and see your images, I feel like I'm visiting an old friend. Every time you post a new image, it hits me in a very emotional place. I make sure to read every word of your description, I even take the time to go back and view all of your pieces from past years. It's become a yearly ritual, something that's come to mean a lot to me. My heart almost stopped when I was at your 2012 piece and found my comment telling you how I'd lost my younger brother shortly before...I'd completely forgotten I had left that!
I'm so happy that you're in such a good place now. Every year at this time I think of you and send you lots of love (as weird as it sounds coming from a stranger lol) I've been waiting excitedly for the announcement that you've had your baby.
Here's to another wonderful piece...every year you seem to outdo the year before. I can't wait for this year to pass so we can see what you do next year.
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Beautiful. These make me tear up every year. Besides that though I'm never really sure what to say.
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Another beautiful tribute and if I haven't said it already, congrats for the baby.
Also I thought you might like this: psycocat.deviantart.com/art/Wh…
It's the poem I wrote nearly 15 years ago with the feelings I wrote about that day. It's kind of strange how my feelings have matured since then, but that's why we have records, to help us remember, as your images do.
Really this is a beautiful peice. She looks more like she's shedding tears of happiness for you and your new family. I'm sure she is thinking of you and cheering you on.
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My condolences on the loss of your sister. Your way of memorializing her is beautiful.
My best wishes for a healthy baby!
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This artwork is just so divine! I commend your way of honoring your sister and those that have fallen. You have a great sense of courage within you. Keep it with you always and best wishes for your baby boy!
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Every year i come by and see your art and read your stories. I really, truly appreciate you and what you've shared. I wish the rest of the media focused on families and their stories of healing. Congratulations on your baby, you're going to be a wonderful and inspiring mother.
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Gorgeous work as always. Those wings are especially lovely. I know you don't know me but I always think of you this time of year & look for your tribute picture.
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