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MadOldHag — The Underdark
Published: 2008-02-14 02:05:24 +0000 UTC; Views: 585; Favourites: 7; Downloads: 8
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Description The Underdark/ Menzoberranzan

Deep below, where shadows dwell,
there hides a place resembling hell,
it's lethal beauty fools the eye,
beware, rivvin, or surely die.

Don't trust your eyes, neithar khaless;
compassion, mercy? They don't know,
the fascinating, evil drow,
a quick death meanin': thou I bless.

The weak and careless perish first,
seducing darkness, meant to lure,
used to fulfill their bloody thirst,
the drow's intrigues you can't endure.

To survive, you'll have to fight,
without help, there is no light,
the darkness leaving not one spark
in this place called the Underdark.
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Comments: 21

Reighnard [2011-09-11 16:41:06 +0000 UTC]

This is beautiful, the rhythm and rhyming are wonderful.

You are an amazing poet.

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MadOldHag In reply to Reighnard [2011-09-11 16:49:20 +0000 UTC]

Thank you. And thank you for the favorites.

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Reighnard In reply to MadOldHag [2011-09-11 17:02:34 +0000 UTC]

lol I am ransacking your gallery now going

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MadOldHag In reply to Reighnard [2011-09-11 17:14:00 +0000 UTC]

I see that.

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XullraeZauviir [2011-08-06 20:54:33 +0000 UTC]

I think this could be a ballad sung by bards to warn travelers of the dangers they'll face if they ever trek to the Underdark. Very nice.

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MadOldHag In reply to XullraeZauviir [2011-08-06 20:57:14 +0000 UTC]

Thanks. Well, yes, almost all my older stuff is either Neverwinter Nights or Forgotten Realms ...

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TheBrassGlass [2011-07-12 22:40:44 +0000 UTC]

Fun stuff! The language has that Tolkienesque quality to it. Suitable for this!

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MadOldHag In reply to TheBrassGlass [2011-07-13 09:07:59 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for commenting, but the dark elven language is not my creation, there are some "official" vocables and terms, I just fit them in. That's one of the reason why this poem is in the "fan fiction" section.

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mininessie [2011-07-12 18:22:53 +0000 UTC]

i like this good and the rhyming was just right now to much not to little

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MadOldHag In reply to mininessie [2011-07-12 18:24:20 +0000 UTC]

I am glad you like it, thanks.

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JesterSeven [2008-04-18 06:54:09 +0000 UTC]

I like the rhyme scheme. Caught me off guard a little with the change. .
Underdark bad! That about sums it up . Not sure what "rivvin" and "khaless" are about. Characters perchance?

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MadOldHag In reply to JesterSeven [2008-04-18 09:22:08 +0000 UTC]

Didn't I add the translation? Oops... "rivvin" is the plural of "rivvil", the drow word for surface dweller. "Khaless" is drow for "trust".

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JesterSeven In reply to MadOldHag [2008-04-18 17:38:59 +0000 UTC]

Ah. Gotcha.

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rebeccaWave [2008-03-26 21:42:25 +0000 UTC]

reminds me of a game i onced played

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MadOldHag In reply to rebeccaWave [2008-03-27 00:41:50 +0000 UTC]

Which game? Menzo?

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rebeccaWave In reply to MadOldHag [2008-03-27 01:58:05 +0000 UTC]

no, its a kinda old game, baulders gate

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MadOldHag In reply to rebeccaWave [2008-03-27 11:13:36 +0000 UTC]

Do you mean Baldur's Gate?

Why does the poem remind you of that game?

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rebeccaWave In reply to MadOldHag [2008-03-27 18:13:22 +0000 UTC]

in the second one you go into the underdark

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KaanaMoonshadow [2008-02-18 17:01:45 +0000 UTC]

I like this one a lot. Very fitting, and good rhymes, too. Excellent work!

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MadOldHag In reply to KaanaMoonshadow [2008-03-27 19:18:33 +0000 UTC]

Oops... just found your comment.
Thank you!

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KaanaMoonshadow In reply to MadOldHag [2008-03-27 20:40:20 +0000 UTC]



You're welcome!

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