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Description
There are some days where you think of your past and everything that went along with it. How many things could be so much worse, or if you could have made things better. I still get flashbacks that torture me and visions I can't control due to my hallucinations and psychosis causing a huge fight in my brain. I made a lot of bad decisions growing up, I hurt myself, I hurt others, I rejected affection or anyone getting close to me out of fear i'll be hurt beyond repair.

I think things came to a head when I lost 2 of my closest friends in 2006. Gordare died in a car accident that I will forever feel guilty for letting him go out, if I had 5 more minutes talking to him, it wouldn't have happened. Kat, I tried everything to show you I cared about you. You ran away from home, you disappeared on a bus telling me you'll be back in college the next day, you were just going to the doctors. You went missing for months. When we found you, I cried because I was so happy to see you. We spent a few weeks at my house. You supported me when Gordare died and I was in hysterical laughter because I couldn't process his death. You held onto me until laughter turned into tears...for the longest time. Then the police came to take you away, I remember watching you wave to me out the back so they could take you to somewhere safe from your abusive family. I will love you both until the end of time. Gordare, Kat, you both vanished within weeks of each other. I tried so hard to keep it together, but I started self abuse and I destroyed myself mentally.

I miss you. I miss you to the point my heart physically aches with the scars pulling away and reminding me that I lost my best friends who actually cared about me despite my mental health and how I was unable to process love and affection. Being bullied my whole life for who I was, a lost soul, a biker, a rocker, a punk, a mod, a goth, some weird mixture of lion and dragon. I fought for you, so you fought for me. I love you both. I will never forget the kindness you showed this weird little girl sitting in a corner.

Description
There are some days where you think of your past and everything that went along with it. How many things could be so much worse, or if you could have made things better. I still get flashbacks that torture me and visions I can't control due to my hallucinations and psychosis causing a huge fight in my brain. I made a lot of bad decisions growing up, I hurt myself, I hurt others, I rejected affection or anyone getting close to me out of fear i'll be hurt beyond repair.

I think things came to a head when I lost 2 of my closest friends in 2006. Gordare died in a car accident that I will forever feel guilty for letting him go out, if I had 5 more minutes talking to him, it wouldn't have happened. Kat, I tried everything to show you I cared about you. You ran away from home, you disappeared on a bus telling me you'll be back in college the next day, you were just going to the doctors. You went missing for months. When we found you, I cried because I was so happy to see you. We spent a few weeks at my house. You supported me when Gordare died and I was in hysterical laughter because I couldn't process his death. You held onto me until laughter turned into tears...for the longest time. Then the police came to take you away, I remember watching you wave to me out the back so they could take you to somewhere safe from your abusive family. I will love you both until the end of time. Gordare, Kat, you both vanished within weeks of each other. I tried so hard to keep it together, but I started self abuse and I destroyed myself mentally.

I miss you. I miss you to the point my heart physically aches with the scars pulling away and reminding me that I lost my best friends who actually cared about me despite my mental health and how I was unable to process love and affection. Being bullied my whole life for who I was, a lost soul, a biker, a rocker, a punk, a mod, a goth, some weird mixture of lion and dragon. I fought for you, so you fought for me. I love you both. I will never forget the kindness you showed this weird little girl sitting in a corner.