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Description

Autism was as much of my choice as the gender people are born with.
There is no magic pill to make it all go away.
If I have a shutdown and stop talking, I barely have the energy to take food...let alone get out of the house.
It's not all sunshine and daisies; not all a "superpower". There's kryptonite, too.
"You have to learn to push past it."
Ya don't understand...you're telling a fish to breathe out of water. It's not a normal mountain to climb; it's an infinite, impenetrable wall which stretches in all directions.
The wall will come down on its own, but I can't do anything when it appears. If I try to break through that wall, it starts to try and drown me...so now I'm trapped and suffocating.
That's what it's like when I have a shutdown and people still want me to be "normal". To "get over it" like a normal person overcomes challenges.
This isn't like a difficult climbing route, or learning a hard kata...or progressing in a video game. It's an enemy which cannot be defeated, and that's not due to a defeatist attitude.
It's simply the truth; it's simply what is.
I'm tired of hearing ignorant words...of people telling me "oh, you need to learn to get over it for when you live on your own"...
Why do you think I'm looking into housing options with counselors on staff? With people who can help me if I fall? THIS is the reason. I AM taking steps to look out for myself in the future knowing what happens when I have an autistic shutdown.
Cause if it goes further than a shutdown, then it becomes an overload...and that could take a week or more to surface from. Or...it could permanently scar me mentally.
I used to be able to drive, for example. Can't anymore due to being pushed too far and overloaded (plus trauma).
I'm starting to wonder if there's a point in trying to educate people about autism. I mean, the family members who reads AuTalkz STILL do not understand. I don't know how much clearer I can make it. I don't think I can.
If someone's mind is already made up, no amount of education (via experience, even) can get them to see it differently.
Now, that's not the same as me having a shutdown, fyi.
"Why can't you do x, y, and z?" ...with the unspoken words of "...like everyone else?"
Because I CAN'T. You wouldn't ask a paraplegic to walk, or a fish to climb a tree...so why do people constantly put such high demands on people with mental illnesses?
Our healthcare system tanks, but so does the way other people treat those with mental disabilities. If we all started to move around in wheelchairs, maybe others would get the message that there are simply things we just can't do no matter how hard we try or put our minds to it.
Because we're not "normal".

Description

Autism was as much of my choice as the gender people are born with.
There is no magic pill to make it all go away.
If I have a shutdown and stop talking, I barely have the energy to take food...let alone get out of the house.
It's not all sunshine and daisies; not all a "superpower". There's kryptonite, too.
"You have to learn to push past it."
Ya don't understand...you're telling a fish to breathe out of water. It's not a normal mountain to climb; it's an infinite, impenetrable wall which stretches in all directions.
The wall will come down on its own, but I can't do anything when it appears. If I try to break through that wall, it starts to try and drown me...so now I'm trapped and suffocating.
That's what it's like when I have a shutdown and people still want me to be "normal". To "get over it" like a normal person overcomes challenges.
This isn't like a difficult climbing route, or learning a hard kata...or progressing in a video game. It's an enemy which cannot be defeated, and that's not due to a defeatist attitude.
It's simply the truth; it's simply what is.
I'm tired of hearing ignorant words...of people telling me "oh, you need to learn to get over it for when you live on your own"...
Why do you think I'm looking into housing options with counselors on staff? With people who can help me if I fall? THIS is the reason. I AM taking steps to look out for myself in the future knowing what happens when I have an autistic shutdown.
Cause if it goes further than a shutdown, then it becomes an overload...and that could take a week or more to surface from. Or...it could permanently scar me mentally.
I used to be able to drive, for example. Can't anymore due to being pushed too far and overloaded (plus trauma).
I'm starting to wonder if there's a point in trying to educate people about autism. I mean, the family members who reads AuTalkz STILL do not understand. I don't know how much clearer I can make it. I don't think I can.
If someone's mind is already made up, no amount of education (via experience, even) can get them to see it differently.
Now, that's not the same as me having a shutdown, fyi.
"Why can't you do x, y, and z?" ...with the unspoken words of "...like everyone else?"
Because I CAN'T. You wouldn't ask a paraplegic to walk, or a fish to climb a tree...so why do people constantly put such high demands on people with mental illnesses?
Our healthcare system tanks, but so does the way other people treat those with mental disabilities. If we all started to move around in wheelchairs, maybe others would get the message that there are simply things we just can't do no matter how hard we try or put our minds to it.
Because we're not "normal".