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mettlelark — Not a Choice
Published: 2012-04-06 20:06:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 1194; Favourites: 37; Downloads: 4
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Was it a choice?My family hates me now.
Why would I choose that?
Was it a choice?
People say it's evil.
I have morals too.
Was it a choice?
I hated lying to him
With my halfhearted kisses.
Was it a choice?
I wouldn't choose it.
But I still am.
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Comments: 52
If you are addressing me in your comment, please re-read the poem and description. I do not say any of the things you argue against. I do not recall when I was born, so I cannot say whether or not I was born gay, but I am quite certain of the fact that I never chose to be. To be blunt, you have no idea what I may or may not believe. I am a Christian. I believe in God. I will not pretend to know how He created people, or to what extent He puts thoughts into our minds.
On a side note, I find it quite ironic that you say "Fuck this planet" in the same comment where you seem to vouch for respecting its Creator.
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And the mathematics behind physics seem obvious to me. About the biology of sexual orientation, and how it fits or does not fit with God's plan, I have no idea. That is what studying is for. Whether you have opinions or facts, I would be interested in hearing (well, technically reading) them.
My scientific opinion:
From a biological and evolutionary standpoint, homosexuality makes no sense. All living things, from plants and animals to microorganisms, are supposed to want to reproduce and populate. The only situation in which mass reproduction would not be practical is in the case of overpopulation and limited resources. Coincidentally, the world is currently overpopulated and cannot produce enough resources for all 8+ billion hungry humans, and everything else. So maybe it is no coincidence that homosexuality is more commonplace these days.
My extremely biased ethical opinion:
I have no idea how homosexuality fits in with God's plan. Since it is mentioned in the Bible, it has obviously been around for a long time. I know that in several places in the Bible, both Old and New Testament, it is mentioned as a sin. What I do not understand is.. why? It makes sense not to murder or steal, because that harms other people. But I do not understand why a loving, monogamous relationship would possibly be wrong, simply because the two people involved happen to be of the same sex.
If you would like to expound upon your obvious conclusions, I would love to hear it. (no sarcasm at all). I enjoy hearing from a variety of people. Everyone has at least a slightly different take on things, once you get past the common sayings. Unless you happen to be a mindless mob-drone, which I hope is not the case.
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The Lord created one man and one woman to be together. That's the order He created. He's a holy God and makes no one LGBT as Satan wants you to believe. It's Satan who is attacking God's plan. It is a choice. We all have a choice to turn over our sins to Jesus and through Him, we can be forgiven and overcomers. It's about having a committed relationship with Jesus.
Please watch these videos:
youtube.com/watch?v=uQGA-n4JyO…
youtube.com/watch?v=529bKzeb8G…
youtube.com/watch?v=lH6-2-Jh9r…
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Really? If you successfully chose to be straight, then good for you, and I wish you happiness.
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No, I'm saying being straight is a choice. I'm gay as hell o_o
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Gotta say that I disagree with you on that. My roommate is as straight as I am gay. It's how she is, just like I am how I am. Sort of like how my mom is so straight that she can't even conceptualize how it is to be gay.
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Yes, I do believe some people are straight, but not only and I'm so gay I can't understand it, I've also seen so many fake relationships. Majority of the time, I hardly see real love. But yes, some people are straight.
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Furthermore, what has truly helped me to be happy with who I am is reading about philosophy, the universe, and various religious perspectives which go beyond the rather oppressive and demeaning Christian ideals. I suggest anyone feeling depressed, unsure, and scared about anything, turn not to a doctor or pastor, but to further educating yourself about what it means to be human. I am not here to argue religion, but as a personal choice, once I questioned the idea of this personified god up in the heavens who made choices for me, and once I realized the Bible, even if the word of god, was written by man and therefore flawed, then maybe god is more. What if the only one who can decide what is right or wrong is you? Maybe there is more. Read about religion and how long before christ December 25th had significance... What if the universe is just random. And what if we are just random with no ruling god or god who created us, but god is not a being but the essence of life. What if there are no good or bad choices, but just choices. And what if we are who we are just because of millions of variables that effect us? Just...question what you are taught and don't be afraid not to know. The older I get, the less I know. Don't be afraid of who you are. Embrace it, even if others refuse to do so. For it is up to them to adapt to your being gay, your depression, etc. It isn't up to you to change.
Oh, and I am not a truly organic hippy gal, but if you eat less processed crap, live in a small community, exercise, and get lots of sun...well, that is more powerful and less dangerous than medication.
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Sex is beautiful, no matter if it is between a man and woman, two men, or two women. It is a way for people to bond, to love, and to enjoy the gift of the physical body. Why, as a society, we feel this need to bury sexual desires is beyond me. People talk about control. What are you controlling? What is there to fear? We should enjoy one another on every level, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Two women can do so, and it is a much different and much needed experience. I, personally, refuse to let religious doctrine set forth thousands of years ago by greedy powerful men.
I look forward to the day where no one is shunned or isolated for being a human being. I don't know what people are striving for these days, but it is not homosexuality that is unnatural, it is the suppression of any sexual desire that is unnatural.
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Couldn't have said it better myself.
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I like this poem, and yea it not a choice it who fall in love with we humans have to be loved too and we can't help who fall for its our hearts who choose it sometime hits you blindly but its not choice ^-^
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To those who think homosexuality is a choice, I would ask if they themselves felt they could choose to be attracted to the same gender.
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Yeah. Being who you are is not a choice; it is who God made us as. He doesn't make us all straight. He even admits that He does accept people who go with who they are such as, race, gender, colour, age, orientation, and ethnicity. It is not a sin to be who you are, otherwise, you'd be constantly committing a sin and avoid his love. He loves all of His creations for who they are and does not play favourites. Of course it may be a challenge for people to inherit a part of His kingdom, but he will reward the gays, straights, bisexuals, lesbians, asexual, pansexuals, and transgenders, not because of their God-given orientations but for them being good and not defying who they are. Heck, I'm a Christian and a Conservative that was made a pansexual, and I'm for gay rights as I willfully serve God. I cannot wrap my head around some people's constant bigotry, homophobia, and hatred towards others; it's just pointless. It's not immoral nor a choice to be who you are.
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Sexuality is definitely not a choice. Of all the people I know who aren't "straight", none of them ever chose to be that way. You can't choose who you are or aren't attracted to.
Good poem, by the way
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Can I marry you? No. Okay.
But on to my shitty comment. These things are what get me going and keep me that way. If it were a choice, I would've chosen to be fully straight and not almost have my family disown me. My family literally hates that I am also attracted to women. I wouldn't be bullied. Is that a choice?! No. I can't help being attracted to women. 
Meh, I'm atheist, but I get what you mean, sweety.
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We can't help the attitudes of those around us. Even those closest to us choose to ignore and disown because they believe it is what is right. With each generation, we can break down the ignorance. We can't always teach our parents, but we can teach our children.
Anyway, I am glad I read your comment because I went to look at your art and it is amazing! Amazing! Thank you for sharing it with us. You are always loved!
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I know we can't, but I wish we could. And my kids will always be open minded. I will raise them to be such.
Oh my, thank you! You are too nice. :3
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Quite true. If it was a choice, why would millions of people choose to the persecuted and hated by their peers and the ignorant? It simply would not make sense to do so. For those who believe it is a choice: People choose to be ignorant, to be (excuse me) assholes, and THEY can still get married.
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God wouldn't have made you this way if he thought it was wrong.
As a bisexual, I've found it somewhat difficult to come out seeing as bisexuality seems to be misunderstood even by the gay community. However, I've found some amazing friends of all different orientations. Me - the weird girl with borderline bipolar disorder. They do exist, trust me.
It wasn't a choice. This is who you are. Who you end up falling for makes you no less of a human and no worse than anyone else. And anyone who has an opposing opinion, fuck them. Seriously. Not literally. You know.
Just fuck them. The world could do with a few less people like them.
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i know how this is and its okay to be who GOD chose you to be (the GOD part is to those who think this is a choice)
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It's true. I know how you feel. It's not a choice. Heterosexuals just can't understand it, so they should have no say in it. They really just don't understand, and those are the only people I hear it from. It's frustrating. It'll be okay, though
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A friend of mine linked this piece of yours to a poem I just wrote, I don't know if he wanted me to share it with you or not but I will. [link]
Personally, everything we say or do is a choice, rather it be good or bad. We are given that right. Maybe you don't think it's not a choice, that you born this way, but that's not true. We are innocent at born, not evil, not sinful. We are closest to God at birth because of that innocence.
Your first thought coming out of your mother wasn't 'I'm gay' it wasn't 'I'm evil, or stupid, or ugly.' for each baby is pure in every sense of the word. Only as we grow up do we become tainted with doubt, evil, sin, misgiving etc.
It's not what you have to be if you don't want to be it, it may take a lot of will power to overcome. But if that's what you choose than you could do it.
We all have a choice.
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Someone once told me that I was possessed by demons (the truth is, I have depression and a panic disorder psychosis and possible bipolar disorder). They said that God would heal me - but "only if I let him". Like I was choosing to be completely miserable and desperate and a threat to myself and those I love.
Who would choose that?
If I could choose not to have extreme phobias that trigger psychotic episodes, you bloody bet I would. For someone to suggest that me having awful, dark and hugely destructive psychotic episodes was my own choice for whatever stupid reason is absolutely ludicrous and I personally find it highly insulting.
Though not in the least bit as life-threatening, I am also sexually attracted to the same sex as well as the opposite sex.
In the face of a panic disorder and depression, this really doesn't mean a thing. Really. Doesn't. Mean. A thing.
I mean, the severity pales in comparison.
Just like the psychological illnesses, it just happened to be there. I've given years of my life to ridding myself of the "sinful" things like depression and bisexuality through prayer. All I ever got was "Why can't you just accept that you have this stuff and be happy?" God doesn't make mistakes, after all. No amount of willpower can destroy something that is just genetically built into you. God put it there. It's not sinful and it's not a choice. It's a work of art by the ultimate creator. That bible passage at the bottom of your comment seems to support my point. Be content in every situation.
Now, just to round it all off, why all this striving for us to be perfect? If we were all perfect, what makes Jesus so special?
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Thank you for your comment, as I like to hear views from a lot of different people. I agree with you that everything we say and do is a choice, however i do not think sexuality is. I could choose to tell lies and say that I am straight, but that would be a sin as well. I can also choose not to be in any relationships with females, which nine times out of ten, I do. I could choose to enter a relationship with a man, and I have dated a few before, but I have no interest in them as sexual partners, and would be lying if I said I did. I am a Christian, and make an effort to sin as little as possible, knowing that I will never be perfect. I do not feel that I have a choice in my sexuality, because if I did, I would choose to be straight. It wouldn't be illegal, it would make raising a family easier, and it would make life easier in a lot of ways. My brain is simple not wired like that though. I find myself attracted to females, and while I like guys just fine as friends, I cannot picture myself engaging in sexual relations with one, and do not think it would be healthy (for either myself or the man) if I forced myself to do so.
At the same time, I am still stuggling with the morality of sexuality because, while it is logical that deciet, murder, and sleeping around are bad (since they all have negative consequences), I cannot comprehend what is evil about homosexuality, as long as the two people are married to each other. I will not argue that it is not a sin, because it says so in God's word that it is, but I do not understand why, or how I can overcome it.
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I believe that is mentioned in the Old Testament when civilisation was still in its primitive state and once again in the New Testament when Paul is preaching his opinion to everyone he meets.
My moral: If Jesus never touched on it, it wasn't important.
Did Jesus ever say that being a homo was wrong? Not that I can recall. Just about everything else he talked about (adultery, stealing, pride, etc), but never about homosexuality.
Jesus: a guy who never married and hung around partying with twelve younger guys. You do the math.
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This might be a weird suggestion and I'm not sure if it is even good, but if you find yourself a gay male christian, and will be able to have a strong friendship, you might have a chance to have a happy family. My reasons for it is:
1) you will understand each other struggles much better and can support each other
2) you wont have to lie about being sexually attracted, both will understand
3) as Christians, you are not supposed to use contraceptives and since you won't do it that often, you won't sin. Ideally you will only do it to get children (it might be even an advantage over straight couples)
4) marriage is not about sex, but about family and children (assuming both are fertile), so once you get kids, you will be raising them with a friend and not just a sex partner
5) hugs, sharing and words of support don't require you to be sexually attracted and that is crucial part of family life.
Other weird tips I can give you is, during orgasm, some chemicals get released into the brain, that creates a bond between both persons, which grows stronger (could help to secure relationship). This one is a bit gross (I'm not sure if you are or not allowed to do it as Christian, have not heard of it, so I might be wrong), during breast feeding, a strong bond is made and extremely fast... could be done between wife and husband.
In the end, everyone ages and you wont have sex at old age, but a family. Family requires devotion, sacrifice and compromise, remember that. I assume you family knows you are not straight, the you could ask what family life is about and are they still attracted sexually (how often they do it, if you are brave enough)
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Supposing one isn't attracted to the other though...guys might come in three minutes, but for girls, it's a lightyear of stimulation, romance and sexual arousal. And lube. Lots of freaking lube.
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We all struggle with our own battles, my sin is not your sin nor is your sin my sin. Something that is difficult for me to overcome would be easy for you, and visa versa. It wouldn't be called a struggle though if the sin/challenge that is trying to take over our minds/heart/body was easy to overcome. That's where God comes in, with Him all things are possible. It may take getting a little dirty, falling a few times but if we want to overcome this challenge enough, if we push to make it happen, then God will always see us through.
I don't agree with the marriage part though, if a gay couple want to enter something 'like' a marriage then by all means make a new word for whatever they become. Because the meaning of marriage is 'the formal union of a man and a woman, typically recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife.' therefore two men or two women shouldn't be married because it just simply doesn't fit into the word 'marriage'.
But anyway, with the strength of the Lord we can get past anything.
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God's love is genderless. So marriage should also be.
Just my opinion. Makes God seem more of the good guy, which I assume you believe he is.
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It doesn't quite work like that, God clearly defines Marriage between 'one man and one woman'. He is the Good Guy, He gives us laws and tells us things to 'protect' us.
Like why a good father tells His kid not to play in the street, because a car might hit the child. When the kid doesn't listen he gets hit because of not listening to his father. The father doesn't say not to play in the street because he's trying to be mean and not letting the kid 'play', he's telling the kid to protect it from the bad things.
It's the same with God, even more so, because He doesn't want us to reap the bad things, but He gives us the 'choice' to defy Him or Love Him and follow Him.
Sin, however will always try to pull us away, and even more so when others don't call the sin for what it is and make it out to be a 'good thing' when the truth is that sin leads to destruction.
When we deny His truth, we welcome in that destruction at the end of this life.
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I know all this dude, I'm an ex-Christian. Or sort of still a Christian but a very skeptical one.
I understand all you're saying what with God being the Good Guy and looking after us.
However, there is a flaw to your argument. When you say that God "clearly defines marriage between one man and one woman", you are referencing the bible. Now, there are parts of the bible that I agree with, and some I don't. First off, the bible was not written by God. It was written by man. Sure, you could argue that "all scripture is God-breathed", but that doesn't clear the whole area of suspicion (at least for me) that somewhere along the line, in all the thousands of years the bible has existed, some sexist, homophobic white supremacist living in the middle ages tweaked a thing here or there in order to manipulate the system to his own self-righteous standards. I'd say Paul the Apostle could have been one of them. The guy was a bit of a jerk. A well-meaning one with some pretty great morals, I'll give you that. But he was still a bit of a preachy jerk.
The only part of the bible that defines it as "The Good Book" and makes us who we are is Jesus. Jesus, God's son. And he was sent to earth with only one mission: to love and to teach all to love. Jesus talked about many, many things, but he never condemned anyone, he never turned ANYONE away. In all the many subjects he talked about, he never talked about whether same-sex relationships are a bad thing or not. He just talked about love. Jesus, being the centre of Christianity and the defining leader of said religion.
The four gospels are probably the only part of the bible I don't see as corrupted. I believe (for the time being anyway), that Jesus was the legitimate son of God. The only part of the bible where we DON'T have some old geezer telling people how to live their lives and then rounding it off with "God said so, so you have to do it" as if that's their justification. Now we had God's own son. And I personally have enough reason to believe that Jesus wasn't just another guy rambling on to everybody "because God told him to". For one thing, he brought himself back from the dead. I think it's safe to say that he proved himself to be the real deal.
So since I find flaws in pretty much the rest of the old collection of historical documentations, I go by one thing alone: That if Jesus didn't talk about it, it clearly wasn't important.
Jesus made absolutely NO distinction between genders. I believe he saw love as gender-blind.
And if there's one thing Paul got right, then it was this: "And now abide faith, hope and love, these three, but the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinth. 13:13)
When you talk about God "protecting" us by giving us restrictions, I buy that, don't worry. I just don't see why God would feel the need to "protect" us from a same-sex relationship if the motives behind it are pure. I mean, what's worse: someone going round having sex with many different people of the opposite gender without love or respect, contracting a few STDs along the way and maybe breaking a few hearts, not to mention their own OR a same sex couple who love each other and are exclusive to one another sharing physical intimacy and affection? Same sex relationships are in no way less validated than an opposite sex relationship. As long as the respect, honesty and self-sacrificing love is there, who the hell cares what a person has between their legs?
Having sexual urges is normal and natural. We NEED it. We need it to reproduce, to feel loved and protected by one another and, like Genesis said, "it is not right for a man to be alone". I have no idea why some Christians enforce the ideology that being tempted to have sex with someone is a bad thing. To look at it fundamentally, sex IS marriage. Yes, it's not just a physical act, it's a spiritual commitment to someone. Why should there be any difference between a man and a woman or a woman and a woman or a man and a man? Or, to put it in its most unadulterated form: a person and a person. A child of God and another child of God.
Just take away the bible and focus on what God is actually saying and all arguments are invalid.
By the way, if sexuality were a choice, couldn't you "choose" to be attracted to the same sex right now?
Try it.
Tell me the results.
I'm interested.
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Go for what's you. you had to tell them. I'm not here to tell you if it was right or wrong, because I'll never be in the exact place you are, but if it was right for you- it's right.
and to those who say it's evil- I don't now how the Christians say it, but in Judaism, the only sin in it is if you(uh.....how should I put this?
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it's about the same for Christians. I understand for outside of marriage, it's just troubling that marriage doesn't even seem to be an option.
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Wait, I just got confused. is this about marriage between the same gender or between inside the family
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between the same gender. i understand that adutery is prohibited; that's logical. it doesn't make sense to me why two people of the same gender can't have a loving and healthy relationship even within marriage.
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I really don't have a good answer for you. People just find it wrong. and if we all would stick to our genders, how will there be any children born?
You know what? ask your family that. You ask those people who oppose you. If they are speechless- you won.right?
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I did. And I still didn't win, because it is not a battle I can or would want to fight. I can't go against their beliefs, and I can't go against God.
Haha and I doubt everyone would stick to their own genders. I think more people are straight than gay. And the world has too many people to sustain life at this rate anyway, so a little homosexuality might solve population problems!
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That's true. A belief is always something hard to break, otherwise it wouldn't really be a good belief.
You can always give it a try
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I really understand this poem. I love this..and it's so true. Just a few days ago I heard a kid in my class saying that homosexuality was a choice and this one girl replied "How could it be? Why would any one chose to be outcasted, stereotyped, and have hate crimes commited towards them?" This poem exemplifies that feeling perfectly <3
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God did not made human to live only for body pleasure, so be it straight or gay sex, temptation is bad and you have to control it. It was meant to be an act to give new life and it was never intended to simply enjoy the process, you don't need to have sex with your family to love them after all.
Priests (those who have celibacy), they can live without sex, so don't say you don't have a choice.
Do note, I'm not saying you are bad for not being straight, maybe it is wrong, as a Catholic, I should probably say you are an abomination to the world, but that is wrong to say, there is nothing wrong in love, yet no willpower to fight your own temptation is wrong, love is not just sex, please understand that.
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"God did not made human to live only for body pleasure, so be it straight or gay sex, temptation is bad and you have to control it."
It's a control mechanism- make you feel ashamed for something completely natural. Oh, and celibate priests aren't exactly sexually healthy- need I point to paedophilia in priesthood ranks?
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so what would you suggest? I am a Christian as well.
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Don't listen to that lunatic. Live your Life as you see fit, rather than let it be shackled by the insensible dogmas of churches. You need not a church to have faith, or lead a just Life.
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Well to begin with, I'm straight and well I am attracted to girls and since it is more acceptable by society, then by same logic of society I should go for it, but I don't, and I made my choice to not give in to temptation, which is now dominating the world.
If you are christian, then ultimate goal will be heaven, not body pleasure. If you are born like that, it is test you will have to live with. Nuns, monks, priests can live without body pleasure, so can you.
I'mm not sure the name in English of it, but church sometimes does multiple day prayers in full almost complete silence, having bread and water as only meal. It removes all emotions, in someway it will destroy you and remake you back. But you have to truly believe in God, I'm not saying you will change (maybe, I don't know), but you might get answers (talk to a priest about it, don't be afraid to tell you are not straight and you are looking for answers, if priest will start judging you right away, walk away, that wont be a priest of God).
God loves everyone, no matter who you are and He will help you, just don't give in.
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Am I not understanding something, or is this poem is about not being straight?
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If it were a choice, I don't think there would be many that would choose the lies, or the guilt, or the alienation. I can't understand why people believe it is.
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