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Don't Fall In Love With A Writer
Published: 2014-07-24 17:45:08 +0000 UTC; Views: 32408; Favourites: 1080; Downloads: 0
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Just because they will bruise your neck with pearls of metaphors; and splash palettes of colours onto your chest with reckless waves and boundless twilight. They will smear ink onto your lips as you kiss them because that is how they leave hickeys. They are wildest in their 2 a.m. diary, and liveliest in book racks of novels; they have butterflies in every heartbeat and they breathe living poems. They leave trails in libraries and coffee shops like Hansel leaves crumbs in forest and they have undying lovers because every love story is ever living in their abyssal oceans of analogies and similes. They know every cliché like the sunset knows the moon rise, and every wound in their heart like blood in their veins. They are terrifying because they weave you in splinters of fires rolling down their cheeks. They are weird because they don't smile much but sometimes you could catch their smiles in poems or tales. They are psychotic because they can cage you in prison bars of endless poems and they live in seas of words because drowning in healing letters are much better than surviving in blasting volcano reality.They are the writers whom you should never fall in love with, because if you do, be prepared to love their blizzard tears and volcano outbursts, to kiss them when the sunlight touches the summer green leaves and when the moonlight kisses the ocean waves. Be prepared to see them break and cry and die in poems and stories. To pull the strings in their woven heart when it gets loose, to see the demons lurking in their chalked stained bones beneath millions of words, to calm the thunderstorms raging in their stomach, and know that they will always choose their book racks of novels over you but that's fine because you can never compete with perfect parallel universes.
Be prepared to love them in matchless morning breaths and relentless howling nights, to get lost in their heart labyrinth, and collapse in their spider webbed eyes, be prepared to listen to how their lungs echo your name, and how their vodka slip through cracks between their lips to whisper love onto your skin. And know that they fall in love with the thunder and storms in your bones, and they will never stop writing about you.
(G.L)
-Don't Fall in Love With A Writer
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Comments: 624
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That was fantastic, mesmorizing, graceful, and wonderful in one word, if that's ever possible. What I think you've done is writentruth in the form of the abstract and made it something beautiful. Each line is spun with a perfect weave and each word holdsa meaning, nothing out of place or irregular in the way this was written. In a sense, this is extremely universal, but the meaning from each word makes it very like caviar o strawberry soup. Just esquisite what you've done here, I hardly find written wordthis website something I could read over and over again. With this, I easily would. Very well done.
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Omg that's so nice of you. Gosh, thank you so so so much.
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a.deviantart.net/avatars/q/u/q… " alt=" " title="quackplz" />
a.deviantart.net/avatars/s/a/s… " alt=" " title="saysplz" />"This is a good attempt at creative writing. The area in which you fall down most is grammar - you should sharpen your skills with semicolons (in particular, the one in the first sentence lets you down). Some of your sentences also run on too long (second paragraph beginning 'To pull the strings' is an obvious example). That said, generally sentences are well-constructed, you make a decent allusion to Hansel & Gretel and the language, while needlessly flowery and cumbersome, is obviously intentionally so. This is a 'poem' in the loosest possible sense, so it loses marks in its form - although post-Dada anything is basically art now, so you can't really be criticised too harshly there. Ahem, I mean...quack quack quack!"
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Thank you! I agree, I'm quite weak at grammar, I'm trying my best to improve though, so thank you so much for this critique.
this is the cutest critique I had ever receive. Duckies!!
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Hello, I'm a critic from a.deviantart.net/avatars/p/o/p… " alt=" " title="Poem-A-Day" />. I'm going to structure my critique around your questions below.
e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s… " width="15" height="15" alt="
1. Out of place phrases:
I want to warn you right now, I see a lot of phrases that sound pretty but don't end up fitting into their lines. They do one of two things here: either they throw of the rhythm (make a phrase too verbose) or they simply don't blend with the pre-established imagery. Instead of telling you what to cut, I'm going to question you about them, so you can determine how well they actually fit. e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s… " width="15" height="15" alt="
Why bruise a neck with pearls instead of simply adorning it? Why not just bruise it? Do you splash with reckless waves and boundless twilight or in them? Are waves and twilight really different? Are hickeys made with ink or metaphors? Trails of what? What do trails have to do with lovers? Do only writers know emotional pain? How is it different for them? Is it really psychotic to find escape in the written word, or is that a whole new issue?
Is it hard to love people who love beauty? Do you need to comfort writers in the presence of beauty? Why? Why would you pull on the strings? Are you trying to pull them apart or pull them back together? Why are there thunderstorms in their stomachs, not their hearts or their heads?
Who has the thunder, his writer or his lover? In the end, is loving a writer worth it or not?
2. Grammatical errors:
Your first sentence should have a comma not a semicolon. First comma in "2 a.m. diary" is unnecessary, but you need one after heartbeat. Hansel either leaves crumbs in the forest or forests. You need a comma after forest. The comma after moon rise is unneeded.
You do not need a comma before because in the second paragraph. Chalk stained, not chalked. Your parallelism falls apart in the last phrase: you should write to know. You need a comma between you and but.
You need a comma between relentless and howling. You should have a semicolon between eyes and be. Lungs echo, not echoes. Vodka slips, not slip.
3. Greatest strength/weakness
I love the "they are" moments and the "be prepared" moments. They are perfectly structured and beautiful.
I feel like you really fell into the trap of wordiness. For the amount you say, this piece is far too long.
4. Vision: You looked at a lot of real, beautiful aspects of writers. You definitely chose prime material to focus on, and you picked out small points that are extremely interesting.
Originality: These pieces have almost become a challenge at this point, so I really can't say that this is innovative. You definitely take it to some different places, but a lot of your points fall into that cliché gap.
Technique: There were a lot of grammar issues here, and I don't think the stringing phrases together technique suited you well here. It just kind of fell short.
Impact: While you have a lot of potential here, I don't think it is the best it could be.
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Thank you so much for such detailed critique, i appreciate it a lot.
I'll work on the areas I'm weak in, your critique is a really great help, thank you.
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I was just getting online and then... I come across this title. I started to read what could be seen, and once again, expected to be bored. Except, this time, it had me intrigued. Writers are people who know how to catch a persons eyes and keep them hooked, and you did just that!
Then, when I actually read it all, I was... It just.... Was amazing. It wowed me so to speak! And then, the images and visuals were clear in my mind, the words were beautifully written and I could not think a Human could have written this. (Well, I'm not that good a writer so, my stuff is completely Novice in comparison to yours, so.... I haven't seen a poem like this. I'm babbling, sorry)
I just loved it. Thank you for submitting this, I'll be watching out for your new releases! Keep up the good work.
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Awwh, thank you soo much!! I'm sooo happy you liked it, and I really appreciate you critiquing me. 
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I really liked this piece. As a writer myself, this work felt like somebody had taken my thoughts and emotions and conveyed them in three, beautifully expressive paragraphs. You did a good job conveying both the imagination and passion of a writers heart, particularly in the line "They are wildest in their 2 a.m. diary, and liveliest in book racks of novels;".
My once critique would be to address the grammatical issues in the piece. They were a bit distracting to the images you were trying to get across.
(Like "they breathe living poem." : "they breathe living poems."
And
"They leave trails in libraries and coffee shop" : "They leave trails in libraries and coffee shops")
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Thank you!! I really appreciate your critique, and thank you for being so gentle on my grammatical errors.
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Amazing. It took my breath away. I was able to see the colors so vividly, and it made me fall in love with the ones who have learned to love me all over again. I can feel the emotion behind it, truly. You paint a portrait of emotional imbalance, while still maintaining a consistent escape. with each verse I was pulled deeper into the piece, and at the end I was inspired. I cannot think of any way to improve. I am truly impressed. I would love to offer some constructive criticism, but I can think of none.
I hope you keep up the great work. You are extremely talented.
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Awhh, thank you!! Thank you for being so sweet and taking time to analyse my work, I really appreciate that!! 
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Hello (:
When i read this poem, i felt my heart squeeze with each sentence and metaphor, since you put this together so cleverly and with very vivid visualizations. I like how you concentrated on the sensation of "touch" and emotions mostly, because it almost makes the entire piece feel like a metaphor to the actual relationship between two people(which seemed to be what you were going for).
Even you you said you wrote this phrase by phrase, it blends nicely, and flows. The way you spaced it also reminds me of emotions, and how they just pour out all at once, especially emotions linked with love.
My only advice really would be perhaps trying a similar concept, and elaborating within each sense(taste, touch, smell, hearing, and sight), and this could make this an even richer experience to readers.
Beautiful work!
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Woah, thank you so much for taking the time to critique me, I really appreciate it. And thank you for the constructive advice, I'll work on that!! 
thank you once again, have a lovely day!
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Haha, not a problem! I really enjoy analyzing literature, especially poetry and things like that.
I write so spuratically, and hardly post written works on here...too lazy.
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Hahahaha, I like the icon, so freaking adorable.
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I've seen this as a recommended read on almost every one of my emotional proses. And tonight I finally decided to read more than the first couple of lines.
I'm proud to say that I'm glad I did, and that I'm glad that its a recommendation on my work.
I thank you for this beautiful existence, because it explains me so well but way too well at the same time.
This is honestly beautiful and I hope to see more of your work as a recommendation to my writing.
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I adore this with all my heart, and it is so true that I can't believe it. I would never've thought of this, and you did it PERFECTLY. I can't believe how good it is.
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Ahhh, thank you my dear.
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You're welcome ^.^
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Thank you so much!
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So you're telling people not to fall in love with people like me... Nah, I'm joking. No hard feelings. I would say the middle section is the part I relate to most. Especially the part about hearts and demons.
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Hahaha, it's okay. Thank youuuu, means a lot. 
PS: your profile picture is adorable though.
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Thanks, though to give credit where it's due, This is an icon made by... Dratinigirl, if memory serves. I take it you're an Undertale fan?
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Ahh, not really, I just like it for the adorable aesthetics, hahaha.
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No worries, sorry for late reply though.
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Gosh you have such a writer's heart and hand. This is so beautiful and tragic. I adore it.
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Ahhhh thank youuuu, well I wished I have your talent to draw as good as you though. My drawing's a complete mess, hahaa. Thanks a ton though. 
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Well I can write and draw, and if you want to draw better just keep practicing and draw things that you like.
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Alright, I'll try that, haha.
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Aww, I hope you're happy then!
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Yes! But it's a long distance relationship. XD;;
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Ahh, that's still so lovely though!
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Yep 
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The emotions within this are strong and very powerful.
The contrast sets the mood for the whole piece.
it engages me to deeply feel the true emotions expressed.
I really enjoyed the creative flow of words
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Awwwh thank you! I really appreciate such detailed compliment that you gave me, it means a lot.
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