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Description
40- E L M O

Christmas morning had arrived and the house was ecstatic as usual. As soon as the sun rose Hoshiko was at my door, while I was already slipping a shirt on and Inari was already pulling her husband out of bed by the waistband of his pants. This was a typical Christmas in the Keitaro household.

We didn't believe in Santa Claus. But Inari, being the doting spastic being that she was couldn't accept the fact that her 'children' didn't believe in Santa. So every Christmas she would sneak presents down under the tree at night and say there were from Santa. You might think it's sad, but she does made it obvious that she was Saint Nicholas. By emphasizing things such as "Look what SANTA got you!" followed by a wink or a nudge.

The gifts were good, but there was one gift that bothered me. It was a gag gift, but…it had these eyes…and a weird vacant expression. After we finished unwrapping gifts I was holding a very uneasy staring contest with my new…toy.

"Come on, Yuki, don't you like him?" Inari walked up over to the toy and leaned over to pick him up. For once she was wearing long pants, rather than her short shorts.

"…Noooo not really…" it sounded totally rude, but you'd say the same thing.
"Ohh come on, see?" she shoved the little red creature in my face. "Elmo loves you!"
"Why did you get me a 'Tickle Me' Elmo in the first place?" I reluctantly pushed the toy out of my face; touching it made me feel dirty.

"Santa thought it would be funny!"

"Santa has a bad sense of humor."

Hoshiko sat down next to me and looked at my new toy with curiosity. "…Does it do anything?" she tilted her head and a few more strands of hair from her sloppy bun came loose.

"Does it do anything!" Inari scoffed and snorted. She put Elmo on the ground and squeezed his little red belly. "Watch this."

Suddenly the toy came alive with an incessant fit of laughter and began to move. It's legs fell out from under it as it sat on its bottom and its left hand began spanking it's knee.

"See? Isn't he cute?" Inari smiled and backed away. "I'm gonna go make us some hot chocolate." She pranced around the corner into the kitchen.

We sat there for a while, just watching the toy spank its knee. It just kept going! Weren't these toys supposed to have a battery life or something?

About five minutes of chipper laughter erupted from the toy and it even fell over onto its sides and began shaking its legs.

Hoshiko actually scooted closer to me and hid behind my shoulder a bit. "I don't like it. It creeps me out."

"Me too, do you think it'll ever stop?"

I looked over at Keiji who was sitting half-dead in the recliner. He didn't appear to be particularly fazed by anything, which is just how he was in the mornings. But you could sense concern and irritation radiating from his dark brown eyes as the toy kept cackling.

Another two minutes passed and Elmo finally began to gasp for air and then sighed in contentment. He lay on his side, totally spent- which was just fine by us.

Keiji silently got up from his seat and disappeared somewhere behind Hoshiko and I. I figured he went to go help Inari with the hot chocolate.

I relaxed a little next to Hoshiko and looked up at her with a smile.

"What are you gonna do with it?" she asked me.

"I'm gonna keep it in the back of my closet with the batteries in it and wait for the batteries to corrode and ruin its insides."

"Why don't you just throw it out?" she asked with a wry smile.

"I wanna watch it suffer."

Suddenly the toy kicked back on and began a hysterical fit of laughter and leg kicking. Hoshiko and I jumped a few feet in the air and stared wide-eyed and mortified at the toy. It shouldn't have gone off without someone touching it.

Hoshiko clung to my arm and gaped at the toy in pure horror as it continued kicking and gasping for air.

From behind us, I heard a hard clicking noise then a loud, thunderous sound pierced the eerie laughter, and Elmo stopped laughing as a bullet made a hole in its head and sent it flying across the room. It spun across the floor for a bit and then went very still. A heart-racing silence filled the air, but it was better than Elmo's chipper laughter.

Hoshiko and I looked behind us to see Keiji with his pistol. He still had it aimed at the toy and his eyes were still trained on the mess of red fur across the room. Keiji slowly lowered his gun then started towards the kitchen in a quiet, sleepy daze.

Guess I wasn't gonna get to watch Elmo suffer after all. Though I have to say if having a creepy, laughing Elmo around made Hoshiko grab my arm like this all the time, then maybe he could become a close friend of mine.

Description
40- E L M O

Christmas morning had arrived and the house was ecstatic as usual. As soon as the sun rose Hoshiko was at my door, while I was already slipping a shirt on and Inari was already pulling her husband out of bed by the waistband of his pants. This was a typical Christmas in the Keitaro household.

We didn't believe in Santa Claus. But Inari, being the doting spastic being that she was couldn't accept the fact that her 'children' didn't believe in Santa. So every Christmas she would sneak presents down under the tree at night and say there were from Santa. You might think it's sad, but she does made it obvious that she was Saint Nicholas. By emphasizing things such as "Look what SANTA got you!" followed by a wink or a nudge.

The gifts were good, but there was one gift that bothered me. It was a gag gift, but…it had these eyes…and a weird vacant expression. After we finished unwrapping gifts I was holding a very uneasy staring contest with my new…toy.

"Come on, Yuki, don't you like him?" Inari walked up over to the toy and leaned over to pick him up. For once she was wearing long pants, rather than her short shorts.

"…Noooo not really…" it sounded totally rude, but you'd say the same thing.
"Ohh come on, see?" she shoved the little red creature in my face. "Elmo loves you!"
"Why did you get me a 'Tickle Me' Elmo in the first place?" I reluctantly pushed the toy out of my face; touching it made me feel dirty.

"Santa thought it would be funny!"

"Santa has a bad sense of humor."

Hoshiko sat down next to me and looked at my new toy with curiosity. "…Does it do anything?" she tilted her head and a few more strands of hair from her sloppy bun came loose.

"Does it do anything!" Inari scoffed and snorted. She put Elmo on the ground and squeezed his little red belly. "Watch this."

Suddenly the toy came alive with an incessant fit of laughter and began to move. It's legs fell out from under it as it sat on its bottom and its left hand began spanking it's knee.

"See? Isn't he cute?" Inari smiled and backed away. "I'm gonna go make us some hot chocolate." She pranced around the corner into the kitchen.

We sat there for a while, just watching the toy spank its knee. It just kept going! Weren't these toys supposed to have a battery life or something?

About five minutes of chipper laughter erupted from the toy and it even fell over onto its sides and began shaking its legs.

Hoshiko actually scooted closer to me and hid behind my shoulder a bit. "I don't like it. It creeps me out."

"Me too, do you think it'll ever stop?"

I looked over at Keiji who was sitting half-dead in the recliner. He didn't appear to be particularly fazed by anything, which is just how he was in the mornings. But you could sense concern and irritation radiating from his dark brown eyes as the toy kept cackling.

Another two minutes passed and Elmo finally began to gasp for air and then sighed in contentment. He lay on his side, totally spent- which was just fine by us.

Keiji silently got up from his seat and disappeared somewhere behind Hoshiko and I. I figured he went to go help Inari with the hot chocolate.

I relaxed a little next to Hoshiko and looked up at her with a smile.

"What are you gonna do with it?" she asked me.

"I'm gonna keep it in the back of my closet with the batteries in it and wait for the batteries to corrode and ruin its insides."

"Why don't you just throw it out?" she asked with a wry smile.

"I wanna watch it suffer."

Suddenly the toy kicked back on and began a hysterical fit of laughter and leg kicking. Hoshiko and I jumped a few feet in the air and stared wide-eyed and mortified at the toy. It shouldn't have gone off without someone touching it.

Hoshiko clung to my arm and gaped at the toy in pure horror as it continued kicking and gasping for air.

From behind us, I heard a hard clicking noise then a loud, thunderous sound pierced the eerie laughter, and Elmo stopped laughing as a bullet made a hole in its head and sent it flying across the room. It spun across the floor for a bit and then went very still. A heart-racing silence filled the air, but it was better than Elmo's chipper laughter.

Hoshiko and I looked behind us to see Keiji with his pistol. He still had it aimed at the toy and his eyes were still trained on the mess of red fur across the room. Keiji slowly lowered his gun then started towards the kitchen in a quiet, sleepy daze.

Guess I wasn't gonna get to watch Elmo suffer after all. Though I have to say if having a creepy, laughing Elmo around made Hoshiko grab my arm like this all the time, then maybe he could become a close friend of mine.