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Mitchie98 — England x Reader: A Drunk Sensation
Published: 2013-06-15 08:05:19 +0000 UTC; Views: 57476; Favourites: 732; Downloads: 6
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“Ms. _______________?”“Yes?”
“You fellow co-workers are at the bar again. The bar manager called.”
“GREAT! Now I have to pick up those idiots again.” You said as you grabbed your house keys. “Thanks for informing me.” You said as you left out of your mansion.
You were ________ _________, the personification of ___________. You usually went to those world conferences that were held in many places of the world. Luckily the latest one was held at your place. You had made many friends that were in those conferences since you first became independent from England about 50 years ago. Being independent made you freer and you can do whatever you want. That was good and all………but you still missed the one person you loved, the one person you hurt the most.
As you were walking down to the nearest bar to your house, you knew that they would be there drinking themselves silly and causing trouble to the people in there. There did this every time a conference is over and you were getting tired of getting them from every bar that they went to.
“OI! These assholes are going to get it when they’re sober tomorrow.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You opened the door to the nearby bar you walked to and entered. You walked up to the bar area where there was a bartender cleaning cups.
“Um excuse me?” You asked politely.
“Yes, how may I help you?” the bartender said.
“Have you seen about 12 men walked into the bar in a group. They looked like they came from a business meeting.”
“Yes I’ve seen them. They’re sitting at one of the booths in the back. They’ve been kind of loud and rude-”
“SUCK MY DICK YOU POTATO BASTARD!” a familiar voice said and then a sudden crash came from that area.
“I know them don’t worry about it. Thank you.” You said as you walked to where the familiar voice came from.
When you walked to the back of the bar, you all 12 of your male idiot friends acting as stupid and drunk as ever.
“PASTA~” you saw your Italian friend Feliciano holding a beer and a tomato in his hands swinging it around.
“Stop it! You’re killing our baby!” your Spanish friend Antonio said while he was dragging a partly unconscious Lovino, your other Italian friend. “That’s me and Lovi’s baby~”
“I ain’t-a got no baby for you bastardo! I SUCK-A MY OWN DICK!”
“Mein bruder….one day…..you’ll be so AWESOME, that you can pee out beer……und drink from it~” you saw your Germa- I MEAN Prussian friend Gilbert said as he tried to put his pet bird Gilbird in his beer cup. Poor bird.
“NEIN! I can’t! You know vhy? Because………I’M LORD DOITSU.” Your German friend Ludwig said as he stood on one of the booth tables.
“OH SHUT UP WOULD YA!” you saw a potato fly across you and hit Ludwig square on the side of his face and he fell down from the table. The potato was thrown than your crush, your British (more like English but whatevs) friend, Arthur.
“LORD MY ARSE YOU DAMN WANKER!! I’M THE UNITED BLOODY KINGDOM OF GREAT BRITAIN!! BOW TO THE BRITISH EMPIRE- W-What did you say flying mint bunny? You said that I drank myself silly? BLOODY HELL I DIDN’T!! YOU KNOW WHAT?! I’M GOING TO TURN EVERYONE INTO MY PIRATE FIGHTING ARMY TO BEAT THE SPANISH ARMADA!! BLOODY HELL SPANISH BASTARD!!” he said as he wobbled himself over to Antonio, broke a beer bottle and wanted to fight him with it.
“THE HERO HAS COME TO SAVE THE DAY~” you heard your American friend Alfred say as he tackled Arthur down to the floor. They fell in…..well……..err……….an awkward position.
“So I see zhat Kiku’s porn was right, non?” you heard your French friend Francis say as he attempt to walked to Alfred and Arthur.
“Zhen I should join in and add my amour? Let’s make it a trois voies~” he said as he landed on top of Alfred and was humping him.
“GET OFF OF ME YOU BLOODY GITS!”
“GIDDY UP KUMA!” you heard your Canadian friend Matthew say as he was riding on his polar bear, Mr. Kumajiro while pouring maple syrup on the floor. The poor polar bear was actually carrying him around.
“Yao….you know……..you want…..to become……..ONE……” you heard your Russian friend Ivan tell your Chinese friend Yao while he was dragging him to the corner of the room.
“NO ARU!! SOMEBODY HELP ME ARU!! PANDA POWERS ACTIVATE!! PANDA COME AND SAVE ME ARU~” Yao said as he called for his panda, but the panda was asleep on one of the booth tables.
“停止！一人で私の友人を残す！” You heard your Japanese friend Kiku say as he brought his katana out, but he was only speaking Japanese. He always did that when he was drunk. It seemed like he forgot English. “彼は私の唯一の本当の恋人です！私が最初にそれをやるためには、彼のお尻をタップしません！” he said as he was fighting Ivan for Yao.
“Alright that’s it! I’m getting tired of this damn show!” You said as you brought out a whistle and blew in it. It made a high pitched noise that it made all 12 of them stop what they were doing.
“ATTENTION!” you yelled. They all stood up and tried to stand in a straight line.
“NOW I WANT ALL OF YOU SOLDIERS TO LINE UP IN THE ORDER I CALL. YOU WILL ANSWER YES MA’AM WHEN YOU HEAR ME. AMERICA!”
“Here dudette- I mean yes ma’am.” Alfred said as he stepped up to you. You face palmed.
“CANADA!”
“Y-Yes ma’am…..uh…that’s it right?” Matthew said as he walked up and stopped behind Alfred. Mr. Kumajiro followed right next to him.
“CHINA!”
“Yes ma’am I coming let an old man walk aru.” Yao said as he walked up and stopped behind Matthew. His panda walked right next to him.
You slapped him square in his face. “DON’T GIVE ME BACK SASS SOLDIER!”
“Geez alright-“ you threatened to slap him again. “I mean yes ma’am.”
“Good. ENGLAND!”
“I’m coming! Bloody hell woman! I can bloody hear you!” Arthur said with his voiced slurred as he walked up and stopped behind Yao with a bottle of beer in his hand.
“NO DRINKING WHEN I DO ROLL CALL!!” you said as you snatched the beer away from Arthur.
“H-HEY! THAT WAS MINE-“
“I DON’T CARE! DO YOU WANT TO GET SLAPPED?!”
“No ma’am.”
“NOW ANSWER ME CORRECTLY AS I CALL YOU. ENGLAND!”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Good. FRANCE!”
“Oui madame~” Francis said as he walked up and stopped behind Arthur. “Angleterre est vierge~”
“I HEARD THAT YOU FROG!!” Arthur yelled.
“FRANCE, STOP BEING DAMN STUPID AND BE RESPECTFUL! ENGLAND, YOU DIDN’T NEED TO REPLY BACK!” you yelled at both of them. “DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!”
“Yes ma’am.” They both said. You were on the inside very shocked on the inside that Arthur was still a virgin (you understand multiple languages in this story so yeah…….). You thought that he would have….done some things to other women in the past. But you shook that thought away and moved on.
“GERMANY!”
“YES MA’AM!” Ludwig walked up and stood behind Francis.
‘At least this one has discipline.’ You thought.
“ITALY VENEZIANO!”
“Sì bella-“
“I DIDN’T SAY GO ALL FLIRTY ON ME!”
“Sì, signora.” Feli said with a little bit of disappointment as he walked up drowsily and stopped behind Ludwig.
“Thank you Veneziano.”
“You’re-a welcome ma’am!”
“ITALY ROMANO!”
Lovino walked up and stopped behind his brother Feli. “I’m-a coming you idiota ragazza! Sheesh! Calm your tits down-“ you slapped Lovino in the face.
“DON’T GIVE ME DAMN BACK SASS EITHER MR. ROMANO! YOU KNOW WHAT? ALL OF YOU ALL HAVE THE PRIVILAGE TO CALL ITALY ROMANO OVER HERE A SHIT FACE ANYTIME TONIGHT. IF HE GIVES YOU PROBLEMS, TELL ME. UNDERSTAND?!”
“YES MA’AM!” all but Lovino said…..well…..Kiku said it in Japanese so that was alright.
“Good. JAPAN!” Kiku didn’t answer you. “JAPAN?!” Kiku still didn’t answer you. ‘Wait, he doesn’t understand English when he’s drunk.’ You thought. Thank goodness you knew Japanese. “NIHON!”
“奥様はい.” Kiku said politely as he walked up and stopped behind Lovino.
‘At least I see someone being polite.’ You thought.
“PRUSSIA!”
“THE AWESOME PREUßEN IST HERE!!” Gilbert yelled as he walked over and stopped behind Kiku.
“DID I ASK YOU TO GIVE SOME DAMN INTRODUCTION ABOUT YOURSELF?!” you yelled as you slapped Prussia in the face.
“HEY! DON’T SLAP THE AWESOME-“ another slap came to his face.
“You wanna try that again?” you asked with a smirk on your face.
“Ja frau.” Gilbert said as his ego got crushed.
“Good. RUSSIA!”
“Yes ma’am.” Ivan said as he walked up and stopped behind Gilbert. “You know you want to become one with Mother Russia да?” Ivan asked with that cute childish smile of his.
“No, no I don’t. SPAIN!”
“I’m coming mi corazón~” Antonio sang as he skipped up and stopped behind Ivan.
“I DIDN’T ASK YOU TO FLIRT EITHER NOW ANSWER ME SOLDIER!”
“Sí señora.” Antonio said with his usual cheeky smile.
“Alright. HAVE I CALLED EVERYONE?!”
“YES MA’AM!” everyone said. Well again….Kiku said it in Japanese……
“AM I CLEAR?!”
“YES MA’AM!”
“NOW LET’S MOVE OUT MEN! HUT TWO THREE FOUR!” you yelled and repeated again and again. And all 12 men started marching in place and then marching out of the bar.
“Just leave me the tab I’ll pay for these idiots.” You said as you left the bar.
“T-Thank you miss.” The bartender said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While you were leading those 12 drunkards down the street, it started going well until some of them were going out of line, some were trying to walk in a different direction and Ivan was giving Yao a piggy back ride. Random but yeah……….
Time Skip~
You already led all 12 men into your mansion and gave them each a room to stay in for the night (it was hell trying to do it too). You were exhausted from all the hassle and stress that you just wanted to go straight to bed. You flopped on your bed not even bothering to do anything that you usually do before going to bed.
“Aw fuck. I’m going to kill all of them when they’re awake tomorrow! Making me do all this shit for them! They better be glad I decided to do this. Maybe I should had let them get arrested or something to learn their lesson.” You groaned. You closed your eyes for a while and started thinking about your life, your love life to be exact.
“Me and my useless skills of love. SERIOUSLY! WILL HE ACTUALLY LOVE ME BACK……..THe way I do about him? I…..I just wish he does. His personality is so unique. His qualities as a person is amazing,” you laughed a bit. “like his eyebrows. And his cooking too. I don’t know why everyone thinks that it’s really bad-“
“Why thank you love I appreciate that.”
‘W-W-WHO WAS THAT?! Please let it be some other British guy in this room.’
“If you’re thinking that it should be any other British guy in here then no, it’s me.”
‘SHIT IT IS HIM! I’M DEAD! GOODBYE DIGNITY AND SOUL.’ You got up in a sitting position and turned around. It was Arthur, leaning by your bedroom entrance.
“JESUS! I-It’s you A-Arthur……” you said scared for your life. “….d-did you hear, e-everyt-thing I said?”
“I heard every single word. If you think I’m drunk, I’m not. I have a big headache though, but I’m not drunk.” Arthur said as he walked up to you.
“O-Oh…………y-you probably think I’m s-stupid now huh?” you said rubbing the back of your neck.
“Of course not. Why would you say that?”
“B-Because you heard….w-what I said. T-That……I love you…b-but if you don’t have the same feelings either that’s fine too-“
Arthur was now face to face with you. You started to blush a light shade of red since he hasn’t been this close to your face before.
“Who said I didn’t?”
“W-W-Wha?” you questioned.
“I’ve, actually…..wanted to tell you this __________.............but…..I’ve really missed you for the past 50 years now since your independence……..I just want to say…..” as Arthur was saying this, his face kept on getting closer to yours. And the more he got closer, the deeper your blush had gotten, turning more dark red every second. He went so close to the point that your foreheads were touching.
“……I love you _________.”
But before you can process any of the shit you just heard, he tilted his head and kissed you sweetly and softly on the lips, wrapping his arms around your waist swiftly. You were stiff and shocked at the same damn time. You were confused on what to do next. It’s like your brain was closed due to incline weather. But you noticed that you were getting kissed by your crush since forever, so you returned the action. You kissed him back and wrapped your arms around his neck so then you can deepen the kiss. But hot damn people need air like how my 6th grade English teacher likes that greasy food but heck let’s move on~
“Y-You really do?” you asked sheepishly.
“Of course love! Since…..the first day I met you actually.” Arthur also said sheepishly with a tint of red blush on his cheeks.
“AW. So cheesy and sweet.” You giggled.
“I really did sound cheesy? I-I wanted to do that on purpose. To see if you would catch on.” Arthur said a little bit embarrassed.
You giggled again. “I was kidding silly! You’re so tsundere.” You said as you pecked his cheek.
“Tsun?” Arthur questioned. This time you laughed kind of hard.
“You’re so cute.”
“T-Thank you. I think? I think I should be going now to the room where I was before.” Arthur said as he started to take his leave. But you caught his wrist.
“Please…..stay with me for the night?”
“Hmm, alright-“
“YAY!” you said as you tugged him down to your bed.
“B-Bloody hell _________!” Arthur fussed. Then he held his head with one hand and groaned since he felt his headache come back.
“Calm down Artie, you don’t want your headache to get worse?” You said as you cuddled him.
“Where did ‘Artie’ come from?” Arthur said putting the emphasis on “Artie”.
“The nickname I’ve been calling you on the down low.” You smirked.
“What? I just- I don’t-…..” he sighed. “Never mind call me whatever nickname you want to call me. Except for Black Sheep.”
“Black Sheep?”
“I’ll explain later.” he said as he cuddled with you. “Good night my love.” He said as he kissed you on your forehead.
“Good night Arthur.” You said as you kissed him on the lips. Then you clapped the lights off (like a boss) and you both whispered sweet nothings into each other’s ears and stealing kisses until you both went to sleep.
EXTENDED ENDING~!
8:45 AM.
Most of the previous night drunkards woke up not knowing where they were and with their heads pounding. They all met up with each other during breakfast downstairs (fucking freeloaders) and noticed that there was 11 of them, not 12.
“Hey, do any of you dudes know where Arthur would have went to?” Alfred questioned.
“Maybe he woke up earrier and went home arready.” Kiku replied. All of them agreed except for Francis.
“I don’t agree on zhat. Where’s Mademoiselle _________? Come, follow me mes frères.”
“Vhy should ve follow you?” Ludwig said.
“Because my senses of l’amour are tingling~” Francis sang as he lead them upstairs.
Francis took them to the door of your room and told them to stop.
“Now watch and see zhe magic of l’amour.” He said as he opened the door quietly. They all saw you and Arthur sleeping peacefully and sweetly together. Some of the awed in joy and Francis started crying happy tears.
“I’m so ‘appy for zhem~” Francis sang.
“Should we leave them alone?” Yao questioned.
“NOPE I’M TAKING THIS SHIT FOR ADVANTAGE!! TOO AWESOME TO MISS THIS!” Gilbert said as he was videotaping them and everyone started taking notes and taking photos.
Arthur slowly woke up from the noise and noticed that it was those idiots again.
“BLOODY HELL!! WHAT ARE YOU BLOKES DOING HERE?!”
“Taking note. What else did you zhink Angleterre?” Francis said as he continued taking notes.
“THAT’S IT!! IT’S TIME TO USE MAGIC ON YOU WANKERS!!” Arthur yelled as he brought out his wand.
“¿Qué estás haciendo?!” Antonio cried.
“OH NO DUDES!! HE HAS HIS WAND!!” Alfred yelled.
“Make with the running.” Ivan said as they all ran away while Arthur got up and chased them.
You woke up immediately after you heard screaming from your “guests”. After you heard it was them, you laid back down on your bed, not worrying about a thing.
“AHHHHH. This is such a great morning.” You said. Then you heard a crash.
“AAAAAAAHHHHH! TAKE-A MY IDIOT BROTHER INSTEAD!!” Lovino yelled.
“I SURRENDER!!” Feli trembled.
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Comments: 550
This ff had me laughing my fucking ass off at midnight, my mother could pop out any minute and whoop me, so thanks.
BUT THEIR INTERACTIoNS WHILE DRUNK WERE BEAUTIFUL BLRUTB FNBMHDBGV CXVNFHX DN MNB HNDBGNFVM
my l'amour senses are tingling~ I was dying
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Make with the running!
And they all start running for the hills.
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Dang, zhat vas great! I am zhe awesome Prussia, and zhis vas zhe funniest zhing ever!
i may have problems...
but it vas still funny!!
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XD LAST FRIDAY NIGHTT
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XDD
LAST FRIDAY NIGHT!!
YEA WE DANCED ON TABLE TOPS-
etc etc
cause I can't remember the lyrics for shit
XD
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I can see myself totally yelling at them when they're drunk just as in the story. I always do something like this when my friends go all crazy :'D
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"Because………I’M LORD DOITSU" My new excuse for everything
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Everyone's such an idiot. At least I understand SOME nihongo. *chuckle* but drill sergeant? I almost thought I was a genderbent Germany XD
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Omg fucking free loaders
Y JAPAN U WANT TO TAP HIS MAJICAL BOODY?!?
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Is it bad that I felt like a badass drill sergant/mother/caretaker while reading this? xD
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You got it
First person to ever say that
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At the roll call part I diedddd
it was just like me with my cousins lmao
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It is......it was alright.....but thank you!
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I remember that one time that cook put a crap ton if rum in my cake in the sixth grade...... I was naming every word that had "ass" in it for about thirty minutes. I'm pretty sure my parents wanted to disown me...
Also, Lord Doitsu is hilarious
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Haha! You can tell that as an enlighten story to someone....and thanks...
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Best one I've ever read so far. You, sir/ma'am, deserve a cookie.
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It is— never mind everyone says it is so I'm going with the flow~
I appreciate the comment
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Ikr???
Himaruya needs to make a comic strip based on how each country gets drunk
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YEP!!! I'd laugh SOOOOOO hard at drunk Russia, he'd probably be soooooo OOC (Out of character) making it just that awesome
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"Giddy up Kuma"
When i read that i laughed my ass off! My mom was in the same room as me and she looked at me like wtf. Damn that was funny! xD
Amazing story btw! ^_^
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