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MJTism — Younglings: Chapter 1
Published: 2014-02-06 00:49:22 +0000 UTC; Views: 338; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Description Chapter 1
Mira

         It was nice to get a quiet moment for once. I sat in our little clearing, just relaxing and thinking. Kana was in town, stocking up on provisions for the coming month. Kirin and Marl were gathering firewood in the forest. I’d worry about the little troublemakers, but they’d both always had a knack for communicating with animals through the force. I felt a pang of regret, thinking how they’d have been great Jedi in a bygone era.

         All around me the usual sounds of Vernon’s forests echoed, signaling the coming of night. In the clearing round me was our camp, a few tents, some supply crates that we used for storage, and a fire pit for the night; modest and somewhat primitive accommodations, but enough.

         I was actually considering meditating. I hadn’t meditated in a long time, not much chance to in the last five years, running from the so-called Galactic Empire. Then the moment came crashing down as a certain Pantoran and his Dathomiran friend burst into camp, apparently seeing who could win a race while carrying firewood.

         I stood, walking over to them, wondering what was going on.

         “Hey, guys,” I said, “You aren’t being chased? Are you?” I tried to make it sound like a joke, but they could tell I was serious. If anyone found us here, well, it would be a bit harder to get going now, seeing as how we’d been here for a year as opposed to spending a week or two everywhere else we’d been since the temple fell.

         “Nah,” Kirin chuckled, “Just showing Marl who’s faster.”

         “Excuse me,” Marl said, feigning (or maybe just feeling) outrage, “But you piled almost half your wood onto my pile before we started!”

         “You’re stronger.”

         “Not by that much.”

         “You used the force!”

         “Did not!”

         “Guys!” it was louder than I intended, but if I didn’t cut them off now they might go for hours or until Kana got back, whichever came first.

         They calmed down, but they also shrunk a little, which made me feel kind of guilty.

         “Hey,” I said, trying to be a bit calmer, “Look, I’m sorry. It’s just that, you know, we need to be careful is all.”

         “Careful of what,” Kirin asked, bitter, “Honestly, we’re in the middle of the forest, where we’ve been for the last year now! What are you still afraid of? We found a haven, why can’t it be that simple?”

         “Kirin calm-”

         I didn’t let Marl finish. “I am not afraid of a damn thing,” I snapped, “I am simply realistic. I know you’ve gotten comfortable here, we all have, but it can’t last and you need to be ready for that! This is a good hiding place, but it is incredibly likely that someone will find us one day, so we always have to be careful!”

         Kirin, backed away, and I wished I hadn’t yelled at her, but she ran off to her tent before I could apologize, Marl following after shooting me a look of mixed anger and sadness.

         I did meditate after that; I needed to clear my mind. I’m not sure how long I sat there, in the growing Darkness, thinking about nothing, but eventually, Kana stirred me.

         “Hey,” she said, tapping my shoulder as she took a seat next to me, “What’s up? Where are the others?”

         “Kirin’s tent, I think,” I said, stretching and meeting Kana’s Brown eyes, “I’m not sure. Been out for a couple hours, it seems.”

         “Any particular reason you only answered one question?” Kana inquired, probably already knowing the gist of it. She could read people like they were books, part of her natural talents for the force. Sometimes very useful, mostly very annoying.

         “I snapped at Kirin,” I confessed, knowing Kana would pick up my guilt, “I was trying to explain why we need to be careful, then she asked why, and I guess I forget that it’s not as obvious to them as us.”

         “You know keeping them out of as much as we could up to this point was the best choice,” Kana said, “Give them some semblance of normalcy until they were old enough to have been padawans.”

         “Sorry if that still confuses me a bit,” I said, “But since when has any Jedi had a normal life?”

         “Fair enough,” kana said, “But you know what I mean.”

         “I know, I know, try and let them just be younglings for as long as we can,” I said, “But that time is about up. I don’t think we can keep them out of the nastier stuff much longer. They’re the same age now as we were when the Temple went down.”

         “True enough,” Kana admitted, “But would you really want them to grow up as fast as us? They’ve been through so much already.”

         I mulled it over. She had a point, as usual. “No,” I finally said, “No, I wouldn’t.”

         “Then there you go.” Kana had a grin on her face now. She always did when she won an argument. She grinned a lot. “Now, can we start putting this behind us?”

         “Right,” I said, happy enough to change the subject, “You got supplies, we should get the stored.”

         “Already done,” Kana said, “I figured it was better not to interrupt one of your rare meditations over sorting our stuff.”

         “You didn’t need to do that,” I said, feeling guilty she’d done it alone, “I wouldn’t have minded.”

         “I know, this was my call. You needed to think, I gave you as much time as I could.” Kana smiled as she said it, her shoulder length hair blending into the darkness except when it blew over her copper skin, which was contrasted just a bit with the darkness, “Now, get some rest, I’ll deal with them,” she gestured to Kirin’s tent, “Explain what you meant.”

         I wanted to argue, but I didn’t have it in me. Kana had that effect on people, the other half of her force talent, getting people to agree with her. Funny thing was, I didn’t feel her really using it. Normally I would’ve felt it. “Alright,” I surrendered, “Good night and good luck.”
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Comments: 39

ACA-ACA [2014-02-06 03:08:49 +0000 UTC]

hmmmm..... is good, cant wait for more plot and your evil little twists. srsly you can become one killer wrighter one day. 

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MJTism In reply to ACA-ACA [2014-02-06 03:25:17 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! You did read the prologue, right?

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ACA-ACA In reply to MJTism [2014-02-06 10:04:17 +0000 UTC]

yes.

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MJTism In reply to ACA-ACA [2014-02-09 03:39:25 +0000 UTC]

Excellent

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ZombieMozart0725 [2014-02-06 01:14:30 +0000 UTC]

P.S. Why is it that the evil laugh emoticon looks like it was designed specifically around Austin's evil laugh? I don't know...

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ACA-ACA In reply to ZombieMozart0725 [2014-02-06 03:10:42 +0000 UTC]

well it is an evil laugh and some believe Austin to embody evil so... not that im saying he IS evil, just that, well nevermind lost my thought train.... ... ... ... ..... ... ... ... ....... ... ..... ..... puppies. 

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ZombieMozart0725 In reply to ACA-ACA [2014-02-06 03:28:29 +0000 UTC]

No, he's the embodiment of evil. Plain and simple. The only thing complex about it is that he's divided up various aspects of his evil nature into eleven different versions of himself. 


Yes, puppies.

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ACA-ACA In reply to ZombieMozart0725 [2014-02-06 10:05:07 +0000 UTC]

false, many he got rid of

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ZombieMozart0725 In reply to ACA-ACA [2014-02-06 11:22:39 +0000 UTC]

Really? Who and how?

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MJTism In reply to ZombieMozart0725 [2014-02-06 03:08:37 +0000 UTC]

Because Austin is an evil mastermind and this is one of his subconscious messages to the populace that when you see his laugh it's not threatening, but funny. Why be afraid of the funny guy? Why not go along with what he wants?

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ZombieMozart0725 In reply to MJTism [2014-02-06 03:30:05 +0000 UTC]

Interesting thought... Great, now I'll be suspicious of Austin for a time... Thanks!

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MJTism In reply to ZombieMozart0725 [2014-02-09 03:49:16 +0000 UTC]

My pleasure.

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ZombieMozart0725 [2014-02-06 01:13:50 +0000 UTC]

If you ask me, it's a nice beginning. Some character development, a passing of time established, still trying to figure out which character is which, all that fun stuff.  


In terms of actual criticism, you did use a few too many commas and the word "darkness" appeared twice in the same sentence, which felt a bit weird. Other than that, I thoroughly enjoyed the chapter and look forward to future installations.

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MJTism In reply to ZombieMozart0725 [2014-02-06 03:09:54 +0000 UTC]

Thanks.

Yeah commas tend to get overused in my stuff. And I did not mean to do that. Oops.

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ZombieMozart0725 In reply to MJTism [2014-02-06 03:23:42 +0000 UTC]

Be aware, commas don't necessarily take away from the original effect you were intending to convey, but the emphasis on particular words can be thrown off. Just a heads up. 


It's perfectly fine, I do that sometimes as well. It's an easy fix. Hello, thesaurus. It's very nice to make your... cognizance!

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MJTism In reply to ZombieMozart0725 [2014-02-09 03:51:39 +0000 UTC]

I know! That's the thing, I want the subtler bits to come across through that stuff!

Noted ya sarcastic dipstick.

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ZombieMozart0725 In reply to MJTism [2014-02-09 04:07:24 +0000 UTC]

Is it still subtle after you try so hard to make it get through our skulls?

I pride myself on such comments. ^.^

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MJTism In reply to ZombieMozart0725 [2014-02-09 04:19:27 +0000 UTC]

I meant the not so drilled in stuff like tone.

As do I.

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ZombieMozart0725 In reply to MJTism [2014-02-09 19:30:48 +0000 UTC]

Oh, I see. So commas in certain places may create an uncomfortable environment for the reader, implying awkwardness, but commas in other places may make an angry character more convincingly angry?


We're just two peas, ain't we? ^.^

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MJTism In reply to ZombieMozart0725 [2014-02-10 02:34:35 +0000 UTC]

Exactly. It's an art I've not mastered,but I hope to.

Quite so.

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ZombieMozart0725 In reply to MJTism [2014-02-10 02:58:27 +0000 UTC]

Good luck with that! I can tell you've progressed a bit, reading all of your stuff. 

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partial-quatrefoil [2014-02-06 01:03:11 +0000 UTC]

You're doing a thing where you're breaking my heart.

Because you're addressing the whole idea that Kana and Mira grew up very quickly while simultaneously shielding Kirin and Marl from the general misfortunes of life as fugitives. They wanted to let them be kids as much as possible and oops now I'm sad.

Also Kana/Mira 5ever.

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MJTism In reply to partial-quatrefoil [2014-02-06 03:12:31 +0000 UTC]

Ah, good. Just as I planned.

Yeah I was kinda worried that I did all that way to fast but from the sound of it seems like you and Dan were enjoying it. Sorry for the sadness.

Man you are just gonna drop that everywhere, aren't you?

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partial-quatrefoil In reply to MJTism [2014-02-06 03:17:15 +0000 UTC]

No, that's okay. I'm comfortable with being completely miserable on account of fictional characters.

I promise that's like the last time I'll mention it unless it suddenly becomes canon.

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MJTism In reply to partial-quatrefoil [2014-02-09 03:48:34 +0000 UTC]

That's basically a prerequisite for being a fan in the way we are but I still don't know how comfortable I am dishing it out.

If it does then trust me it won't be sudden.

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partial-quatrefoil In reply to MJTism [2014-02-09 04:04:10 +0000 UTC]

Excellent attitude! Congratulations on appreciating the complexities of character and relationship building!

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MJTism In reply to partial-quatrefoil [2014-02-09 04:31:51 +0000 UTC]

Thanks. But really, I don't know how I could go through life without that appreciation.

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partial-quatrefoil In reply to MJTism [2014-02-09 04:35:54 +0000 UTC]

Not successfully. We probably wouldn't be friends

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MJTism In reply to partial-quatrefoil [2014-02-10 02:29:55 +0000 UTC]

Simply can't have that now can we?

How's Clone Wars going?

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partial-quatrefoil In reply to MJTism [2014-02-13 23:50:03 +0000 UTC]

No we cannot.

It hasn't been, I'm sorry to report. I've been busy with various things. This isn't to say that I don't still intend to binge on the whole show, but that has just been placed on hold.

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MJTism In reply to partial-quatrefoil [2014-02-14 17:03:45 +0000 UTC]

That sucks! What was your last episode?

Also I saw a post about not knowing pain till you've loved a character that isn't a series regular and found myself tagging it with roughly a dozen Clone Wars characters.

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partial-quatrefoil In reply to MJTism [2014-02-17 01:26:34 +0000 UTC]

I'm on Nightsisters. The one where Asajj hooks up with her old witch buddies? It's kinda cool, but really not the most compelling plot thus far. Still loving the clones.

I saw. Omigosh I saw that and I was laughing. I know I've mentioned it before, but I'm loving that you're using more tags because reading tags is my favorite.

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MJTism In reply to partial-quatrefoil [2014-02-17 01:47:03 +0000 UTC]

Ah yes I really liked that arc because I’d always liked Ventress and getting more of a background for her was great. She’ll get a bit more development in the coming episodes and seasons and I think you’ll like it.

Tags are great yeah. You’re a natural but I’m still learning. And that post in particular was gold for me to work with because SO MANY AWESOME BUT UNDERUSED CLONE WARS CHARACTERS.

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partial-quatrefoil In reply to MJTism [2014-02-17 03:08:10 +0000 UTC]

I live for character development! I know you know this, so you're totally right! I'm sure I'll love it. I shall report back!

I think you hold your own pretty well! I love reading your tags! BUT YES DOMINO SQUAD FOREVER MOURN.

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MJTism In reply to partial-quatrefoil [2014-02-18 01:49:31 +0000 UTC]

You had better! She gives from a one dimentional plot device to a great 3D character!

Thanks. AND YES GOOD LORD YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW NY PAIN.

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partial-quatrefoil In reply to MJTism [2014-02-18 18:10:59 +0000 UTC]

DOMINO SQUAD. That is all.

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MJTism In reply to partial-quatrefoil [2014-02-20 05:11:00 +0000 UTC]

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IS YET TO COME. That is all.

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partial-quatrefoil In reply to MJTism [2014-02-26 18:24:54 +0000 UTC]

;__;

Did I hear right that it was coming out on Netflix? That'll make it 1038402984% easier to watch.

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MJTism In reply to partial-quatrefoil [2014-03-03 13:09:08 +0000 UTC]

*hugs* there there.

Of course I heard that's how season six is being released at all how could I not hear?!

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