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mochashello — Ache To Hold
Published: 2003-05-24 02:44:01 +0000 UTC; Views: 325; Favourites: 6; Downloads: 10
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Description
Sometimes I can\'t stand not having youSometimes my soul cries out in agony
apart from you
My arms ache to hold you
My eyes long to see from you
a loving glance or smile
My lips tremeble in want of yours
My heart swirls in lonely confusion
and aches to be joined with your own
My fingers long to touch your brow-
to feel the locks of your hair
running through them
Oh rejection stings! But please....
Make yourself happy.
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Comments: 19
wow, thats really touching.. i love how you caught me all up in the words and made me think of my own life.. very moving, beautiful poem.
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lovely! I really love the last chunk, 'But Please... Make yourself happy' that juat tied it all together for me and let me connect w/ what the poem's talking about.
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I love it! Please come check out my deviations! That was very sincere and touching!
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yes it is sad as that has been well pointed out... but i really like the ending! "make yourself happy" heh, thats jut great....
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As said above me, yes it has a lot of emotion. But a poem needs more than just emotion. It needs word play, imagery. Give the reader something to play with in their minds. Let them take your words and make what they wish with them while still maintaining your overall meaning behind them.
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aww! so sad... Ypou conveyed the emption perfectly in this. good job!
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oh yeah i love the sarcastic ending. RAWR lol. Great job with this, nice twist, me like
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This was too appropriate for me to have to read after reading something of Preston's. It describes the random bitter confused emotions that are running through me perfectly, especially now that he happily talks to me about how happy he is with Whitney. And reading this I know that I will always be a slave to my emotions because no matter how I suffer I will always want one thing:
Oh rejection stings! But please....
Make yourself happy.
This is wonderful +fav
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Oh yes... it just drips with emotion... wanting someone and yet wanting them to be happy... me heart aches like this too... *sighs deeply* great poem!
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I know the feeling. My heat aches all the time for someone to hold but I grasp at air. I really like this.
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beautiful work. my favorite part is :
"My heart swirls in lonely confusion
and aches to be joined with your own"
you write so well. keep it up.
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geez... mochashello, I must say, that wonderful! I can almost feel the pain from it.... :`o\
you did a tremendous job in making it flow so nicely, wish I could do stuff like that!
Even tho its old, keep it up, i'll have to see what other great stuffs you got! =Þ
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i really lilke the cynical bitter ending... okay so i like the make yourself happy... part.. the whole thing is good but.. yeah...my thoughts..that will be 25 cents.. I am just kidding im in a very onry mood
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wow. this is really good.
My arms ache to hold you
My eyes long to see from you
a loving glance or smile
this is my favorite part.
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