Comments: 19
onestormynite [2003-07-14 16:16:50 +0000 UTC]
wow, thats really touching.. i love how you caught me all up in the words and made me think of my own life.. very moving, beautiful poem.
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wernstrum [2003-06-09 00:07:24 +0000 UTC]
very nice. good emotion expressed here. me likes
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iba [2003-05-27 20:45:42 +0000 UTC]
I love it! Please come check out my deviations! That was very sincere and touching!
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rebelchic [2003-05-24 22:20:07 +0000 UTC]
As said above me, yes it has a lot of emotion. But a poem needs more than just emotion. It needs word play, imagery. Give the reader something to play with in their minds. Let them take your words and make what they wish with them while still maintaining your overall meaning behind them.
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alicatylon [2003-05-24 21:53:54 +0000 UTC]
aww! so sad... Ypou conveyed the emption perfectly in this. good job!
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icklefluffywolfy [2003-05-24 14:59:11 +0000 UTC]
Oh yes... it just drips with emotion... wanting someone and yet wanting them to be happy... me heart aches like this too... *sighs deeply* great poem!
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fearful-toxicin [2003-05-24 06:07:14 +0000 UTC]
I know the feeling. My heat aches all the time for someone to hold but I grasp at air. I really like this.
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unheard-voice [2003-05-24 05:05:58 +0000 UTC]
beautiful work. my favorite part is :
"My heart swirls in lonely confusion
and aches to be joined with your own"
you write so well. keep it up.
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3rd-floo [2003-05-24 03:22:29 +0000 UTC]
geez... mochashello, I must say, that wonderful! I can almost feel the pain from it.... :`o\
you did a tremendous job in making it flow so nicely, wish I could do stuff like that!
Even tho its old, keep it up, i'll have to see what other great stuffs you got! =Þ
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destinyrose [2003-05-24 03:19:33 +0000 UTC]
i really lilke the cynical bitter ending... okay so i like the make yourself happy... part.. the whole thing is good but.. yeah...my thoughts..that will be 25 cents.. I am just kidding im in a very onry mood
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dreamcatcher20 [2003-05-24 03:07:53 +0000 UTC]
wow. this is really good.
My arms ache to hold you
My eyes long to see from you
a loving glance or smile
this is my favorite part.
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