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MoonLightSpectre — :Wake.up.and.live: Ep.3.p2.
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Published: 2008-03-22 20:45:57 +0000 UTC; Views: 10800; Favourites: 80; Downloads: 0
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Description
This is the First version of this page and I really need some feedback - anything that could guide me further on. And what I also need badly are suggestions of the fonts I should arther use for the text of this comic... thank you for reading! ^^Reference:
Ash to ash Project:
Book 1 - Metamorphosis,
Episode III: Evolve,
Page 2.
The B/W version in in my scraps section.
The Action:
Ash is getting back to himself after an undefined of half-dreaming, half-inconsciousness we was driven into by the heavy transformation of his body.
Various Comments:
I just had to draw Ash naked at least once!
And it basically shows better what transformations has taken place in his appearence and/or construction...
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Comments: 12
Ok, I'm going to try and give a critique here. Take it for what it's worth. 
Examples: Start with the wide shot, then cut to some closeups. 'Evolve in order to survive'- bring the reader in to some specific evolutions on him. The hand, the tail, the horns... 'Face your extinction'- make him look REALLY beat on as if he's dead. Some blood trickling out the lips perhaps or a close-up of a hand clutching at the ground. Or if he's been dreaming, maybe some dementia, his body wracked and twisted. Something to show his actual survival is at stake and it could go either way. If he's evolving, think of a butterly fighting its way out of a cocoon. Re-emergence is a struggle. Better example, think of Raziel in Kain getting thrown into the vortex. You need to match the dialogue with the visuals. It looks too calm for what you've written. When he opens his eyes it should be a defining moment. One of power and overcoming death, stronger than before.
Anyway, don't take this as a critiCISM, it's a critique. Just some things you might want to think on as far as the storytelling goes.
K
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sorry no comment, but i 
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the eyes are done realy well and have that creepy look to them, the color skeam is perfict (please pardon my spelling...) altho the lighting on the firts pannel comes from above the head wile the third seems to come more from the left. i dono if you pland it that way but i dont think many people will notice. this is realy well done great job.
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Love the colouring, especially in the middle panel. The skin/scales look great.
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this page is awesome too
are you going tp have these printed?
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I don't think so...it's a kinda...facultative project I am doing for university, and it doesn't have anything to do with my studies. I will try to find out if there's someone interested in printing it once it's finished though 
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oh yeah, you should definitely look into having someone print this. But you're like me, with such a grand scale "pet project". It really looks professional, even better than many. I know a convention in the United States who would love this to death.
I like the font even though it is unusual.
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ok, just wondering. thats one of those things, one of those sacrifices. you gotta make sure the colors are bright and clear
the bottom panel might not print well, if those were your plans
but if not, beautiful, you know? i hate how everything changes in print XD
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hmm I'll probably try printing it myself oh photo paper and adjust then^^
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see, that can be misleading. it's often the paper they use ar the printers that causes it to print too dark.
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ooow...well if I ever find anyone interested in my stuff I'll make sure I'll have this in mind^^ thanx!
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