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mooshu17 β Link 5b: Set 5
Published: 2009-06-30 00:59:29 +0000 UTC; Views: 321; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 6
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Description
grandfather tree lies still-casualtyΒ Β
of summer storms
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Comments: 42
Now, a further suggestion - is there any need to say 'fallen', given that as a casualty of the summer storm we can assume it has fallen?? Possibly:
grandfather tree
a casualty
of the summer storm
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Hmm, I don't know what I think about that. Will have to think on it some. 
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Cool - let me know what you decide.
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I think I kind of like it like this, what do you think?
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another possibility to stick with only words that are here:
grandfather tree
casualty
of summer storms
That would get rid of two articles which I find aesthetically unpleasing in short form.
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I think you are right, that does sound better. Thank you
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Haha, you need some sleep methinks
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I don't sleep. That's how I'm able to write poetry. It comes to me in vivid hallucinations from sleep deprivation. I simply jot it down as it happens.
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Yes, I have noticed the not sleeping bit as it's referenced in a number of your comments on your poems. Tell your muse to take a few hours of vacation.
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Yeah. The problem is, if I don't write when the lines form, I lose them forever. I learned that a couple weeks ago when I convinced myself not to get up and write the complete poem that I composed in my head while lying awake in bed. I still haven't recovered that poem, all I remember is that it was amazing.
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Well I have gotten out of bed to write stuff down before - I still sleep though, some
The poem will probably come back to you, though it might come back in pieces. If you were to remember it in the future you will probably be able to find all the parts in a number of different poems. And I should probably go back to studying rather than trying to be philosophical.
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Bah, who needs to study? I think that I studied a total of three hours last semester. Excluding reading and paper writing.
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How many tests did you take? 
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I had two three hour final exams last semester. One major research project, one poetry project, one presentation, and a fifteen and ten page paper for the same class on different topics due a week apart.
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I take your final year and raise it with my thesis, though that class with the papers sounds awful
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Good morning Caitlin! Lightning just hit so close here that it set off the smoke detector for a second. Scary stuff! So I'm awake for a few.
The research project that I did was pretty intense. It was original research that I did on the acoustic properties of vowels in Korean. I recorded four different subjects and then measured the formants of each instance of two different vowels that are undergoing a vowel merger. Then performed statistical analysis on the formants to prove that they were in fact merging.
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Morning! Think I might prefer lightening, not that it isn't scary, but just that I'm familiar with it. The ground shaking is something that shouldn't happen, ever.
That sounds intense. I only have a vague idea about what that is from having taking one phonetics class in Spanish....All we had to do there was interview a native speaker for 30 minutes then transcribe five in the normal alphabet, then the phonetic alphabet taking into account their specific accent then writing a paper on how their accent manifested itself...not as difficult as Korean or that ^ O.o
I get to write a 70+ page paper on the right to ancestral lands here in Chile and the conflict between the state and the Mapuche, the largest indigenous group here. This will include about 500 years of background before focusing on three main groups: the state, the indigenous communities (there are many), and the various NGO's over the last 20 years
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That sounds like an in depth thesis. It actually sounds like the type of topic I would pick. Best of luck with it. How long do you have for it?
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Yeah it has to be in depth - they seem to think 60 pages is on the short side... I have until April. I haven't actually started writing it yet, just gathering information. Information = the 10 pounds of photocopies that I'm going to lug back to the states..
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DHL is your friend. Much cheaper than what the airlines will try to hit you up for.
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I fear international transactions, I've had one package not make it here...So just going to have to grit my teeth and pay the fees. Been here nearly 6 months not sure I could avoid it...
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I can understand that! I used to get anxiety sending letters internationally. I can only imagine your research! I just wish there was an easier way for you!
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Yeah it's a stack that's about three or so inches high of photocopies, and then I have 300+ articles that I've found online. Google alerts are awesome. Heh, it shouldn't be too bad. I don't think it weighs that much. Though the texts I read for that one history class are even bigger O.o
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(or
grandfather tree fallen-
casualty
of summer storms
if you prefer)
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You certainly did get the title right!! Well done. I think you might be the only person who got my labeling method. It certainly made updating easier.
Suggestions - I would take out the capital letter - it draws unnecessary attention to that word. Just a personal aesthetic preference, but in Japanese there are no capitals, so I tend to stick to none. Also - it makes it seem like a sentence. But I would put a cut after tree also (in the form of a dash). So my suggestion would be:
grandfather tree fallen-
a casualty
of the summer storm
I am not sure of Mahi's suggestion personally, I think stating the 'war' aspect is a little too direct.
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I stared cross-eyed at the poem list for about a minute trying to figure out what the name for my poem should be.... O.o
Ok going to take out the capital letter. It sneaks in on me because it's habit. I usually go back and take it out after I finish writing the poem. And I thought about putting in a dash. I will do so now since you have also suggested it
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Hahahaha - funny. Esin's got a system that works well too.
Yeah - capitals can be like that. Sneaky bastards!
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Heh I just go with what I think is right and let you correct me if I'm wrong
Yes, sneaky bastards
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Awwww.. sweet. I dunno either at the moment. I am running on hope and luck!!!
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I like the potential in this piece, but I don't quite get a feeling of transition.
What would this do?
grandfather tree fallen
a casualty
of lightning wars
Maybe I just have war on the brain after my last piece.
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I don't know why that doesn't jive right with me. Hmm, if the reason comes to me I will let you know.
I wouldn't be surprised if war was still on your mind. That was a very powerful piece and will probably hang around for a while. Still formulating a response to it. Like to let things percolate.
Thanks for the suggestion, I will see how I want to develop this piece as I agree with you it still isn't quite finished.
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Thanks, I can't wait to hear your opinion.
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I replied there
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Not sure about this Mahi - though I totally respect your suggestion. For me the 'war' is implied, rather than stated, which works well for me. Also the implication then that the Grandfather might have been in the war (ie. not just a tree) is then opened.
I think to mention the war is a little too direct, and I like the suggestive nature of simply saying 'summer storms'.
I love your latest - by the way, will be commenting soon.
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No worries. My long form poem has kind of stifled my haiku temporarily. It's like baking in a pan, and then wanting to reuse it. Before cooking something else in it, you need to scour the charred bits remaining out first. With the tone of my latest, I'm sure you can appreciate that it had a pretty profound effect on my psyche.
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