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MorganWolfram — Nature Games
Published: 2013-07-09 23:20:57 +0000 UTC; Views: 2360; Favourites: 52; Downloads: 0
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Description
The ocean's crying,Dripping droplets of cunning salt.
The impatient wind wails endlessly,
Yet the water's depressed thrashings don't halt.
The land stays solemnly still and stands
Courageously tall without shedding a tear of agony.
Even the shy breeze whispers,
To the gentle giant trees of the soil's bravery.
The overwhelming ocean leaves sad tiny marks
Of shells from its aggressive harsh beatings.
The lands bleed boastful
Sand as the beach's greetings.
The wild petunias and daffodils pose
As the audience to the frames,
Hence, the fauna sing and cheer
To these nature games.
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Comments: 31
This is a very moving poem; I'm not always one for free verse, but this is quite nice. I'm not 100% sure about the line "Yet the water's depressed thrashings don't halt." though. It feels too long for the rest of the stanza, and the words "depressed" and "thrashing" are very opposite. Depressed is such a slow, lethargic word; thrashing is very active. I'm not sure it makes for good imagery; maybe "morbid thrashing" or similar might be an appropriate revsion.
Otherwise, an excellent poem.
"The overwhelming ocean leaves sad tiny marks
Of shells from its aggressive harsh beatings.
The lands bleed boastful
Sand as the beach's greetings."
is particularly potent.
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Thank you very much
About the imagery of "depressed thrashings" I understand what you're trying to say but I wanted to keep it simple and relatable, rather then use the abstract and practical characteristics of the word itself. I thought it was best to avoid "Depressed's" actual persona, sometimes depression leads to violence, I added logic instead. So nature forces looked like they were imitating humans in their own personifications, at least it's how I see it 
But I love your advise , thanks
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I love this one, I love to lay in nature, and feel the earth breath under me, to listen to it's heartbeat. you have captured that feeling, thank you
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I swear that's very soothing when we're outdoors in nature
I'm happy you feel the same and glad you like this
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Ooh, this poem really felt alive, I could feel, taste, and see everything! 
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Thank you!
I'm glad you enjoyed it
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This is so sad... 
On another note, the poem is really good!
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Sorry for the Inconvineiance 
Thank you for taking a look at those sites
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I don't know what's been up with me lately, but I am loving this nature poetry xD Love the alliteration and imagery, not to mention the personification. (By the way, overwhelming is one word and you may want to use the correct possessive pronoun when saying "The waters depressed thrashings..." If it's multiple waters, it would be waters' or if you want to talk about it as a whole, just water's ) You might want to change up some of the words that may seem repetitive, like ocean and land. Maybe use sea or earth instead. Does that make sense?
Over all, I loved it. Rock on in your movement to save the rain forests.
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Thanks a million
(Oh yes, They were just typing mistakes not gramatical errors since I was in a hurry while uploading it in, thanks for correcting me
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Descriptions are amazingly put and entire poem is well written! Great job!
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Thank you soo much!
Glad you enjoyed it
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This is brilliant! would u like this poem featured in my new magazine?
Nice to meet you!
I have plans for setting up a creative magazine in the near future
Please let me know if you would like to be featured
It is a magazine to expose up and coming & unique artists, illustrators and crafts people.
The magazine will be split into 2 parts. Front -- light, bright and colourful - Back - dark, fantasy, deep
Kind regards
Jon Kania
[link]
[link]
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Thank you!
I'd be most honoured if it had a chance to be featured in your magazine!
I really appreciate it!
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Great to meet you
You are very welcome and it is great to have you on board !
I will be in touch soon with some questions about your work, what inspires you, how you first got started etc. This small interview will be featured in the magazine with some of your work.
It will be an exciting magazine to be involved with as i am printing it myself and then putting it online.
So thankyou again, and I will be in touch soon.
All the very best
Jon Kania
www.etsy.com/uk/shop/JonKaniaD...
www.etsy.com/uk/shop/TwistedCr...
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My pleasure
splendid! Can't wait
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Thank you
Glad you like it!
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