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mr-picklesaur — A Barber and His Blade
Published: 2008-01-21 02:45:16 +0000 UTC; Views: 291; Favourites: 9; Downloads: 1
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Description Listen close to the sound of the blade
Only in crimson, does its shine fade
Extension of the barber's hand
Leaving it's actions never unplanned

The man walks in, unknowing and naive
Doesn't see blood on the barber's sleeve
The end of the man came fast and quick
The seat he sat in fell back with a click

Next time you see him, he's served on a plate
But no one knew this would be his fate
All except Mr. Todd
Who tread the path that few have trod

His friends, his family, his partners in crime
Waited for him, all this time
Using them to exact revenge
He thinks of the life he must avenge

He thinks of Lucy
And Johanna too
As he slits the throats
Of the unlucky few

The blade skips across the awaiting flesh
Leaving a wound, raw and fresh
And when the floor is stained, by a crimson wave
You'll know he never forgot and never forgave...
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Comments: 9

XoX-moony-XoX [2008-01-28 19:47:05 +0000 UTC]

wow. amazing writing. seriously......amazing.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

DeadlyDie [2008-01-25 01:09:41 +0000 UTC]

OH MY GOD that was amazing!!! *I actually did say that after I finished reading it* favs!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

peanutturtle [2008-01-24 00:13:03 +0000 UTC]

so, i pretty much hate poems that try to rhyme.
but you pulled it off! congrats!! for you!

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guilleum2 [2008-01-23 17:35:44 +0000 UTC]

This is-- phenominal. I'm really bad with poems... XD
Really, it is fantazing...

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Noldowise [2008-01-23 08:50:24 +0000 UTC]

Wonderful

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

mr-picklesaur In reply to Noldowise [2008-01-23 15:02:02 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

Ah, and thanks for the fave as well...<3

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Noldowise In reply to mr-picklesaur [2008-01-23 18:25:32 +0000 UTC]

no problem ^^

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Sweeney-Todd-Club [2008-01-23 06:24:57 +0000 UTC]

I like that the lines not only make sense and fit well, but also rhyme without sounding like so many poems and songs that throw in random words just because they happen to rhyme.

Very well written in my opinion.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

mr-picklesaur In reply to Sweeney-Todd-Club [2008-01-23 07:53:22 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

Gah. You don't know how much I like feedback <3

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