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Description
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Cappy’s (Not So) Random Rant
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If you think my writing is eccentric, can you even FATHOM what it’s like talking to me on the phone?! My friend and I were informing each other on movies worth wasting precious free time over.

I began describing ‘A Clockwork Orange’ as: It’s about a thug who’s arrested and then experimented on to “reform” him. When he’s let out back into society, all of the people he wronged find him and end up torturing him. It’s actually an interesting premise since you end up feeling sorry for the bad guy of the film. In the end, they end up reversing the thug’s brainwashing because he threatened to sue or something…I need to watch it again.

My friend, somehow inspired by my synopsis, recalls: Actually, I think I saw the sequel to that movie; yeah, it was like some independent film or something. It was about a man who was raised in the jungle by animals. He’s captured and taken to the city, where he’s taught to live by society’s rules. But his animal instincts causes him to go crazy, so they take him back to the jungle—

During my friend’s description, my brow kept furrowing, until it became a mustache. My junior detective skills caused me to interrupt his movie review with a very important paradox:
“Did…did you just describe ‘GEORGE OF THE JUNGE’ as the sequel to ‘A Clockwork Orange’?

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OH SNAP BONUS RANT!!
====================
Okay, since I got a movie review theme going, I want to tell you about an ultimately good movie that’s been on my mind, just keep on reading till the end! The movie is ‘The Orphanage’, and was associated with Guillermo del Toro (the dude that created the super crazy awesome ‘ Pan’s Labyrinth’ ).

In reality, del Toro brought the production crew some Dunkin’ Donuts at one point, as that seems to be the extent of his involvement with the film, and absurd malplaced eyeball monsters are sorely missed from the film. To top off the disappointment, the DVD box was LITTERED with reviews saying “A movie so intense, you’ll have to keep reminding yourself it’s only a movie!” Awesome on a bun, right?

Was…was this soundtrack created just for the DVD release, because the music totally ruined any suspense that could have been there. Remember future film makers out there: music can make or break a scene’s aura. Seriously, it sounded like Danny Elfman Presents: Retarded Goofy Circus Music Volume 4. You could totally tell the booming music was trying to build up tension that would probably be a false alarm, and most of the tone sounded like fanfare rather than terror. It was like the composer literally winks at you to let you know nothing bad’s really gonna happen.

Awful review so far, right? In fact, for the most part I sat with my arms crossed, annoyed at my poor impulse control for having me waste twenty bucks. But then, the ending happened. When the credits appear, your brain finally relays to you what happened to the children of the orphanage, what happened to the family, and the why and how it happened to all of them, the movie punches you in the gut and you almost want to cry. And that Mary Poppins orchestra finally earns their money with the ending credits music; somehow they were competent enough to make an absolutely heart-wrenching rendition during your moment of reflection that really doesn’t support men in the “I ain’t gonna cry” department.

When you understand the plot, every poorly construed plot device becomes amazingly brilliant foreshadowing and I’ll probably watch the entire film with a tissue at the ready. The film is smart enough to impress you but it’s not Silent Hill’s advance-philosophy-lesson-which-makes-you-search-for-a-plot-synopsis quality. You watch it with the ending in mind, and you’ll go “Oh, so THAT’S why they did that.”

Now, go get ‘The Orphanage’, I’m actually not gonna sell my copy after all!

====================
Cappy’s Rockin’ Rendition
====================
NOTE: Eventually you may get a sense of déjà vu; I did up a couple of Zelda puns for my future prodigy cyclopz [link] to color up with his impressive photoshop skillz, but he’s been stricken with a chronic case of procrastination (I’ve taught him well!). Plus his computer kind of died, so I’m not sure he can recover the scans. When he does pimp my art, I’ll be sure to upload his to compare!

GET IT, LINK’S A LISTENER CUZ HE CAN’T TALK LOL!!!1!!!

The Hyrulian public school system has clearly failed this bumpkin. I usually mock the Link fanaticism by asking “How can you like Link’s personality when he doesn’t have one? He don’t say jack, he just moves where you want him to go. Replace him with a rock, a rock will capture all the emotion and charisma verbatim.

Okay fine, here’s the only example of personality I’ve ever witnessed: Whenever Zelda gets her stupid self kidnapped/an enemy drops from the ceiling/Link finds out he has diabetes: cue a close-up of his badly polygonned face with his mouth agape yelling “EEEAUUUUEGH?!?!”
That’s it.
We can assume he gets surprised a lot.

However, my art apprentice cyclopz [link] after hearing my argument, probably not realizing he was about to make the perfect rebuttal, flatly stated something to the effect of, “Link never talks, so that you can't figure out if he’s whiny or EMO like Cloud from Final Fantasy.”
Touché, young one, touché.
-The “ ” Cappy

For the copycats: Micron Prisma pen (linework), Prismacolor markers, colored pencils.
References: Wikipedia picture of kid Zelda from Ocarina Of Time. A Mishmash of Ocarina Of Time And Link’s Awakening character design for Link.

Description
====================
Cappy’s (Not So) Random Rant
====================
If you think my writing is eccentric, can you even FATHOM what it’s like talking to me on the phone?! My friend and I were informing each other on movies worth wasting precious free time over.

I began describing ‘A Clockwork Orange’ as: It’s about a thug who’s arrested and then experimented on to “reform” him. When he’s let out back into society, all of the people he wronged find him and end up torturing him. It’s actually an interesting premise since you end up feeling sorry for the bad guy of the film. In the end, they end up reversing the thug’s brainwashing because he threatened to sue or something…I need to watch it again.

My friend, somehow inspired by my synopsis, recalls: Actually, I think I saw the sequel to that movie; yeah, it was like some independent film or something. It was about a man who was raised in the jungle by animals. He’s captured and taken to the city, where he’s taught to live by society’s rules. But his animal instincts causes him to go crazy, so they take him back to the jungle—

During my friend’s description, my brow kept furrowing, until it became a mustache. My junior detective skills caused me to interrupt his movie review with a very important paradox:
“Did…did you just describe ‘GEORGE OF THE JUNGE’ as the sequel to ‘A Clockwork Orange’?

====================
OH SNAP BONUS RANT!!
====================
Okay, since I got a movie review theme going, I want to tell you about an ultimately good movie that’s been on my mind, just keep on reading till the end! The movie is ‘The Orphanage’, and was associated with Guillermo del Toro (the dude that created the super crazy awesome ‘ Pan’s Labyrinth’ ).

In reality, del Toro brought the production crew some Dunkin’ Donuts at one point, as that seems to be the extent of his involvement with the film, and absurd malplaced eyeball monsters are sorely missed from the film. To top off the disappointment, the DVD box was LITTERED with reviews saying “A movie so intense, you’ll have to keep reminding yourself it’s only a movie!” Awesome on a bun, right?

Was…was this soundtrack created just for the DVD release, because the music totally ruined any suspense that could have been there. Remember future film makers out there: music can make or break a scene’s aura. Seriously, it sounded like Danny Elfman Presents: Retarded Goofy Circus Music Volume 4. You could totally tell the booming music was trying to build up tension that would probably be a false alarm, and most of the tone sounded like fanfare rather than terror. It was like the composer literally winks at you to let you know nothing bad’s really gonna happen.

Awful review so far, right? In fact, for the most part I sat with my arms crossed, annoyed at my poor impulse control for having me waste twenty bucks. But then, the ending happened. When the credits appear, your brain finally relays to you what happened to the children of the orphanage, what happened to the family, and the why and how it happened to all of them, the movie punches you in the gut and you almost want to cry. And that Mary Poppins orchestra finally earns their money with the ending credits music; somehow they were competent enough to make an absolutely heart-wrenching rendition during your moment of reflection that really doesn’t support men in the “I ain’t gonna cry” department.

When you understand the plot, every poorly construed plot device becomes amazingly brilliant foreshadowing and I’ll probably watch the entire film with a tissue at the ready. The film is smart enough to impress you but it’s not Silent Hill’s advance-philosophy-lesson-which-makes-you-search-for-a-plot-synopsis quality. You watch it with the ending in mind, and you’ll go “Oh, so THAT’S why they did that.”

Now, go get ‘The Orphanage’, I’m actually not gonna sell my copy after all!

====================
Cappy’s Rockin’ Rendition
====================
NOTE: Eventually you may get a sense of déjà vu; I did up a couple of Zelda puns for my future prodigy cyclopz [link] to color up with his impressive photoshop skillz, but he’s been stricken with a chronic case of procrastination (I’ve taught him well!). Plus his computer kind of died, so I’m not sure he can recover the scans. When he does pimp my art, I’ll be sure to upload his to compare!

GET IT, LINK’S A LISTENER CUZ HE CAN’T TALK LOL!!!1!!!

The Hyrulian public school system has clearly failed this bumpkin. I usually mock the Link fanaticism by asking “How can you like Link’s personality when he doesn’t have one? He don’t say jack, he just moves where you want him to go. Replace him with a rock, a rock will capture all the emotion and charisma verbatim.

Okay fine, here’s the only example of personality I’ve ever witnessed: Whenever Zelda gets her stupid self kidnapped/an enemy drops from the ceiling/Link finds out he has diabetes: cue a close-up of his badly polygonned face with his mouth agape yelling “EEEAUUUUEGH?!?!”
That’s it.
We can assume he gets surprised a lot.

However, my art apprentice cyclopz [link] after hearing my argument, probably not realizing he was about to make the perfect rebuttal, flatly stated something to the effect of, “Link never talks, so that you can't figure out if he’s whiny or EMO like Cloud from Final Fantasy.”
Touché, young one, touché.
-The “ ” Cappy

For the copycats: Micron Prisma pen (linework), Prismacolor markers, colored pencils.
References: Wikipedia picture of kid Zelda from Ocarina Of Time. A Mishmash of Ocarina Of Time And Link’s Awakening character design for Link.