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Description
Q: What is a slug?
A: A homeless snail.

I remember a comedian talking about the snail: The snail…what an awful creature. It’s all cocky saying “Look at me, I can take my house anywhere!” And then
*CRUNCH*
“What the—stupid human broke my house!!”

Since I have absolutely NOTHING else to state about this drawing, I looked up snail facts on websites that don’t end in ‘ pedia’.
*Snails are mollusks, which are related to oysters, clams, and other shellfish.
*Snails are hermaphrodites: both male and female.
*The top tentacles are the eyes, the bottom tentacles are the nose.
*A snail’s mouth has a tongue like a cat, which is used to scrape plant matter.
*Snails can restore damage to their shell.
*The snail’s mucus reacts positively to water, so when trying to get rid of it on yourself water only makes it stickier. Rubbing the mucus will cause it to dry up and peel like glue.
*Almost every kid learns that snails become a bubble machine when salt is added to it.
*Apparently, wild snails can carry meningitis (causes inflammation of the protective membrane covering the brain and spinal cord). Try not to eat the ones you find…or ever. Buy a candy bar, cripes.
*From a study done in the 80s, snails with pointy spiral shells seem to prefer crawling vertical, while squatty shells seem to prefer crawling horizontally.

There, instead of learning algebra, you’ve used a brain wrinkle to remember stupid snail facts. And speaking of the issue of using Wikipedia to get your facts from, fifteen hushpuppy points goes to the person who edits the snail wiki page to read “snails are hermaphrodites, so they can go screw themselves!”
-The “Slimy Only In The Figurative Sense” Cappy

Description
Q: What is a slug?
A: A homeless snail.

I remember a comedian talking about the snail: The snail…what an awful creature. It’s all cocky saying “Look at me, I can take my house anywhere!” And then
*CRUNCH*
“What the—stupid human broke my house!!”

Since I have absolutely NOTHING else to state about this drawing, I looked up snail facts on websites that don’t end in ‘ pedia’.
*Snails are mollusks, which are related to oysters, clams, and other shellfish.
*Snails are hermaphrodites: both male and female.
*The top tentacles are the eyes, the bottom tentacles are the nose.
*A snail’s mouth has a tongue like a cat, which is used to scrape plant matter.
*Snails can restore damage to their shell.
*The snail’s mucus reacts positively to water, so when trying to get rid of it on yourself water only makes it stickier. Rubbing the mucus will cause it to dry up and peel like glue.
*Almost every kid learns that snails become a bubble machine when salt is added to it.
*Apparently, wild snails can carry meningitis (causes inflammation of the protective membrane covering the brain and spinal cord). Try not to eat the ones you find…or ever. Buy a candy bar, cripes.
*From a study done in the 80s, snails with pointy spiral shells seem to prefer crawling vertical, while squatty shells seem to prefer crawling horizontally.

There, instead of learning algebra, you’ve used a brain wrinkle to remember stupid snail facts. And speaking of the issue of using Wikipedia to get your facts from, fifteen hushpuppy points goes to the person who edits the snail wiki page to read “snails are hermaphrodites, so they can go screw themselves!”
-The “Slimy Only In The Figurative Sense” Cappy