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MrRemoraman — Chickamangu pg 158
Published: 2018-07-02 12:20:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 341; Favourites: 41; Downloads: 0
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I don't know if this requires a mature setting, but I'll take the risk....First Page: www.deviantart.com/mrremoraman…
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Comments: 23
Hey there I'm from here to give your artwork a constructive comment.
I hope you don't mind that i took a look at the previous pages to get what's going on, so my comment will be taking those into account as well.
So as i was re-reading the pages leading up to this one, I felt that some stuff was skipped over. Like we come from a scene where a shadowy figure is watching a man talking on the phone, and then suddenly we get to this. I would suggest to create a pacing where we're moving to a different setting, you first show bits a pieces of this figure in the initial panels, and then reveal it in one large panel (or stick to it's own page like you did here.) Not only does this get rid of the sudden abrupt pacing, but it also creates a tone. What is this figure? Where is it being held? Is this maybe a dream, instead? Remember, different angles, close-ups ect. in each panel can really influence the atmosphere and narrative. One last thing about the previous pages, the text was rather difficult to read, so make the text a bit bigger, if you can.
Now, onto the technical side of this page. You used the negative space rather well, making it look like the character is floating in nothingness. The few white lines also create the image that they're in some sort liquid. However, upon looking closer you can see a few white flecks close to the figure, so be sure to zoom in so you black out all those edges and corners. It also looks like you use the cross-hatching method to render shading and texture. In some places it gets the job done, but in other places it just looks messy. When it comes to cross-hatching all i can really suggest is to look up other images that use that method and study them, so you can improve.
That is the end of my comment. Keep up the good work, and i hope you find my comment useful to you.
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Thank you so much for your input! I really appreciate your criticism, and I agree with most of it. My crosshatching DOES still need some work: I'm trying to git it to look organic, but it's a work in progress.
This is indeed a dream sequence, but I bit more transition build-up could be useful. It's not easy to drop readers into psychological situations (in my defense) but I guess it is a bit sudden.
Thank you so much!
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Wow, this is very powerful <3 It makes me wonder about the rest of the story.
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Thank you so much! One of the themes is a dead boy in a well. The main character, Sasha, has visions of him periodically
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This is spectacular and soo creepy! I neeeeed to catch up
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Indeed! And thank you!
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I don't think it calls for a filter. I've seen things more graphic than this without filters and they've been fine.
This is also very impressive.
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Lol, there is more already.. and its super creepy! 
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