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i refused to end the year without doing one last drawing for myself, so... yeah...

it doesn't feel like the year's about to end, does it? it's been a hell of a year for me, i know that for sure. it's so abstract to think i was borderline suicidal when the year began, rotting in an accommodation cubicle in an university campus, and that i've been through so much with my family, saw an... old friend, and that i moved to this city... three? months ago, and that now i have a job
i've lost all concept of time, i think. i doesn't feel like everything has happened in a year. it could feel like it happened in a period of five years, or within a month. but a year? i don't know. but things happened, good things, bad things. things happened
i hit rock bottom more times than i can remember-- hell, just two weeks ago i thought i was going to leave this site completely, and i'd be lying if i said that was the worst time. but things got better. things always get, at the very least, slightly better, or bearable. yeah

bad things will happen, and you gotta... keep on, i guess? that's what i was feeling, i think, while i was drawing this

i never draw kuriri being sad or contemplative (i barely draw her at all, which is sad, considering she's the first orikero i ever made...) ... but everyone should have those moments
i also wanted to draw her because she's in the first drawing i finished this year-- this drawing . i uploaded it on february, but... i actually did the thing in january

this is going to sound silly, but i'm really proud of myself and all the art i did this year, and the fact that, well, i stopped hiding and lurking in the shadows-- because that's what i did, before i managed to make this account and blackHoneybee active. i'd never finish anything, and what little i managed to finish or doodle, i just kept for myself. never showing anything to the public. drawings i did manage to finish, it'd take me months to upload, thinking that no one would like them
so... yeah. i'm glad i'm out of that depressing shell, at least, even if there's still so much about myself i want to improve, i'm just glad that i'm not... hiding. yeah

this coming 2017, i want to be more selfless, less petty, more reliable. i want to be a better person. i think of myself as a bad person that's trying to do good things, so, when things go wrong, i just... feel like that's the way it's gotta be. but i want to feel like a good person that's doing their best. i want to feel like things aren't damned to go wrong just because i exist. that i can do good things
we'll see if that happens, though

here's for a year that's hopefully less hectic than 2016

*december 2k17 update:*
WOW THIS YEAR SUCKED

Description
i refused to end the year without doing one last drawing for myself, so... yeah...

it doesn't feel like the year's about to end, does it? it's been a hell of a year for me, i know that for sure. it's so abstract to think i was borderline suicidal when the year began, rotting in an accommodation cubicle in an university campus, and that i've been through so much with my family, saw an... old friend, and that i moved to this city... three? months ago, and that now i have a job
i've lost all concept of time, i think. i doesn't feel like everything has happened in a year. it could feel like it happened in a period of five years, or within a month. but a year? i don't know. but things happened, good things, bad things. things happened
i hit rock bottom more times than i can remember-- hell, just two weeks ago i thought i was going to leave this site completely, and i'd be lying if i said that was the worst time. but things got better. things always get, at the very least, slightly better, or bearable. yeah

bad things will happen, and you gotta... keep on, i guess? that's what i was feeling, i think, while i was drawing this

i never draw kuriri being sad or contemplative (i barely draw her at all, which is sad, considering she's the first orikero i ever made...) ... but everyone should have those moments
i also wanted to draw her because she's in the first drawing i finished this year-- this drawing . i uploaded it on february, but... i actually did the thing in january

this is going to sound silly, but i'm really proud of myself and all the art i did this year, and the fact that, well, i stopped hiding and lurking in the shadows-- because that's what i did, before i managed to make this account and blackHoneybee active. i'd never finish anything, and what little i managed to finish or doodle, i just kept for myself. never showing anything to the public. drawings i did manage to finish, it'd take me months to upload, thinking that no one would like them
so... yeah. i'm glad i'm out of that depressing shell, at least, even if there's still so much about myself i want to improve, i'm just glad that i'm not... hiding. yeah

this coming 2017, i want to be more selfless, less petty, more reliable. i want to be a better person. i think of myself as a bad person that's trying to do good things, so, when things go wrong, i just... feel like that's the way it's gotta be. but i want to feel like a good person that's doing their best. i want to feel like things aren't damned to go wrong just because i exist. that i can do good things
we'll see if that happens, though

here's for a year that's hopefully less hectic than 2016

*december 2k17 update:*
WOW THIS YEAR SUCKED