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mylovelyhead In reply to merpagigglesnort [2011-06-16 16:16:53 +0000 UTC]

I think I struggle with my moods most of the times. Yeah, I was mostly doing okay on this one.
Thank you

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merpagigglesnort In reply to mylovelyhead [2011-06-16 16:50:06 +0000 UTC]

i'm sorry to hear you have the mood problems, too. i knew you had OCD but it sounds like you have a mood disorder, too. do you go to a therapist? or you at least go to a psychiatrist to get properly diagnosed, because then, if it you don't want to take meds, it will help you find out better ways of dealing with your issues and learn a lot about the nature of your disease and so forth. i don't know what the healthcare in india is, but if you can, you should look into it, can't hurt!

you've been producing some top notch work! are you like me, where you can continue to create even if you're having a hard time, or do you get blocked then?

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mylovelyhead In reply to merpagigglesnort [2011-06-16 18:16:14 +0000 UTC]

I have been on meds for years now. But it alone could not help me. Recently, I was diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder. I was never sure why I would run away from new situations or people.But It all had a pattern and it was in every part of my life. I would join a particular study program ,then leave it midway just because I wouldn't be able to take the pressure.I would get so panicked that it was okay for me to leave it and not care at that moment.I always have a feeling of inadequacy and low self esteem. That is why I am on CBT now. It is helping me as of now. Let's see where it takes me. And I am also trying to deal with OCD which is has gotten very severe. Hope I can come out of it.
So, basically,it is a mixture of these two working on my mood all the time. And with drawing, I think I am okay. It doesn't get affected by moods as such. If I get a block, then i get a block for a while.
Thanks for being concerned. It helps a lot.

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merpagigglesnort In reply to mylovelyhead [2011-06-16 18:36:23 +0000 UTC]

i totally understand what you're talking about. when people have very severe mental illnesses, they are incredibly likely to have lots all mashed together and then put a name on it, you know? they told you that you a personality disorder, what you describe is very similar to what i go through. very similar.

what meds do you take? i am currently cross tapering (actually just finished that)from risperdal to seroquel and i'm taking klonipin for anxiety and now it's gotten so bad that they don't want to give me anymore klonipin i'm taking the highest dose they will go up to and now they've got my on anti-histamines day and night, i fall asleep while im drawing. i'm taking the max dose of wellbutrin some paxil and a lot of lamictal. i am so dizzy and groggy and sleep all the time. i really feel like a zombie. i said i wanted to get off the medications or at least reduce them a lot, but they said they would put me in hospital cause it will be so bad. i said you can forget about that!

do you live at home? i think people like us end up in terrible terrible shape if they don't have family to take care of them. i can't imagine what i'd be like with no meds and no job and and and. you know? :/

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mylovelyhead In reply to merpagigglesnort [2011-06-16 18:49:24 +0000 UTC]

I can completely understand what you must be going through.I have been taking the same meds for almost 6 years now and the doc doesn't seem to care.Actually, I cannot visit him regularly as he stays at a different place and I have been home for almost one and a half years now. So, now i have been thinking about seeing a new doctor. I have been taking clonotril and paxidep. That is all. And the rest I have been dealing with on my home. My parents are great. But.they too cannot understand me all the time and deal with my moods. It is unfair. And,yeah, I sleep a lot too.And it all gets mixed up all the time.But I do meditations. And.honestly, that is one thing which has helped me a lot.
Some days are really bad and others are okay.But, I still feel that there is hope for us. Let us just get better.

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merpagigglesnort In reply to mylovelyhead [2011-06-16 19:06:13 +0000 UTC]

yes, mentally ill people should stick together! after years of not know what was wrong with me, but knowing there was abundantly clear that was something wrong with me. my parents were very concerned and my mother was abusive anyway and then my father left (and i don't blame him a bit, now we're very close. it's just that my mother was so horrible, i almost think he had spouse abuse)he always kept in touch with me and paid child support and all, just wish he would have taken me with him.

the worse i'm doing in general the worst ocd i get. i rearrange stuff a lot. half the time instead of a vacuum cleaner i wander aroud looking for tiny bits whatever throw it away. the carpet up here is dark so i spend a lot of time picking tiny things off the floor. you know what it's like, very disturbing and almost painful.

my days are the same as yours, up and down up and down. i do seem to do better in the morning and then about 2pm i crash and go have to sleep for a few hours. it isn't fair! i'm always wondering, why me? but it helps to talk to someone who know exactly what it's like, since so many people don't.

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mylovelyhead In reply to merpagigglesnort [2011-06-16 19:13:24 +0000 UTC]

I am sorry to know about the problems you faced. I think most mental illnesses trigger during childhood.Mine did.
Don't worry. I sleep around noon myself. I just have to.
I completely understand your side. Thanks for hearing mind

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mylovelyhead In reply to hesterkin [2011-06-03 16:14:17 +0000 UTC]

Thank you. I didn't think anything while making this one

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mylovelyhead In reply to Lou-in-Canada [2011-05-31 12:32:09 +0000 UTC]

Thank you Lou. Yeah, it wasn't planned at all. Just did it for fun.

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mylovelyhead In reply to LoveliDesigns [2011-05-31 12:31:30 +0000 UTC]

Thank you
I am glad it could inspire you. I wish I could do things digitally too.

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