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Myrloenn —
Death Sentences
Published: 2011-02-05 00:14:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 11103; Favourites: 593; Downloads: 251
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Description
The magic lies in the colours. Read the text, think about the text, twist your mind and indulge yourself.I've left out punctuation for a reason.
spent 7 hours total, 6,5 hours figuring out what to write and half an hour figuring out how to present it. Hope you enjoy it, and take the time to read trough, in whichever direction you prefer.
By the way, this isn't about suicide or similar nonsense. Interpret the text as you like though
Comments and faves are as always much appreciated
Update:
Wow! a DD
that made my year! I actually jumped up and down inside myself, so high and hard that I felt my intestines wobbling about, and after a short while joining the party as well, with fireworks and other flammable stuff. Meanwhile, on the surface I was calm as a stone, except for my monstrous grin and my feet being 4 feet above the ground.Thank you =ChimeraDragonfang for suggesting and ^nycterent for featuring
It means a lot!
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Comments: 93
Hello! Good Day!
You've been Featured Here: [link]
Keep up the good work!
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I have a friend with a similar style. It is a rare style, and it gladdens me too see more people use it eloquently=]
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This is absolutely brilliant. Congrats on the DD. It's definitely well-deserved.
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This can only be described as mind-blowing. Bloody brilliant, man, bloody brilliant.
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My mind has been blown.
You are amazing. I love this piece. It's really sad 
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I love this
But I .. I just can't read it as a whole because of the coloring(that isn't bad I know it's on purpose) It's because of this thing I have where when things are colored I see it TOTALLY separate from the rest
I can't get past the second line without feeling frustrated and wanting to ONLY read one of the colored ones (which I did at first)
I love how the colored ones are read XD
I wish I could read it as a whole but.. I.. just cant... ><;;
At school I have to color code my notes or when I go back I cannot read it or concentrate on it because I just see a huge blog of words XD
ARGH I can't get over how I cannot read it as a whole OTL frustrating
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["You might wonder about life the opposite of death is life
think that expectancy statistics guidelines will help you a lot
I'm here because my dog's food ran out and I'm hungry
for your death came sooner as expected I will live on
pleasure rather than the opposites will keep us together
but you're alternative which never will be the new ever
dead wrong is the source to failure and death upon us all
I am here now evilness and suffering follows me to heaven
because I want pain in my body plenty seasoned with salt
to be the last body just like the dinosaur is overrated
to say hail ancient dinosaurs feeding on flesh is wise
dinosaurs were overcooked served and eaten by insects"
I hope I made some stranger's night just there.]
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pfft-...
It sounds hilarious.... XD
Thank you!!!! ;; u;;
I can now live without wondering wth it all said together~
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[Yaaay! You're certainly welcome.]
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Seeing as my words fail me, I would like to say I am in agreement with *hybridinsurgency
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WOW!
I think my favorite line is "Never will be the new ever" and "dinosaurs were overcooked served and eaten by insects" lol. Great variety
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I must say, that was one of the better reads I've had in a long time, and with a title so grim, it was rather lighthearted to read!
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I've never seen anything like this. It's amazing. Great job! Must have been so hard to write. It's sort of lyrical - if there was music, I'd listen.
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the colored sections was great, you can read this text in different ways... although it feels random and going back on itself, it delivers a message that seems to be more emotional and human...
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This is great. I can always tell when something is good
even if I don't like it, by the range of mentalities it brings
out.
The one mentality that most amuses me is the one that
asks, after you have spent hours or even days trying to
make a complex realization articulate, "Are you trying to
say . . . ?" Like all you had to do was "say it" and if you did,
why the heck did you put it that way? I don't think you
know what your talking about" (translates "I don't get it)".
And you know they never will.
Ernie
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Thank you
True words indeed, I poked her a bit, strangely she didn't like to be poked
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Well' in a way you do have to hand them
one thing. They are not afraid to look
stupid and that should count for something
but even there, only if they give,
I just automatically assume if I don't get
it, that's my lacking - I mean how does anyone
really know. If I want a real critique I ask
it of someone I respect. Someone who if they
say it sucks. I wont be too offended. It's
perfectly natural for people to be offended
by negative remarks from strangers.
BTW: That's not you. I like you work a lot.
Ernie
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This is brilliant. I love the multiple paragraphs concept.
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This is pretty awesome 
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Hail dinosaurs!!
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To be honest, it doesn't make much sense no matter how I read it. It rambles quite a bit incoherently and jumps without warning to ideas that are only loosely related, which is jarring and confusing. The pink vertical column makes sense, but nothing else does.
You get points for creativity, I'll give you that, but I'm still mystified as to what your overall message is here, if you even have one. Is this tribute to the dinosaurs? Or are you trying to say that death is natural, could come at any time, and is needed to maintain the balance of the natural world and provide food for life? Maybe the point is that there isn't a point, I don't know.
By the way, there is actually quite a bit of compelling evidence out there that the dinosaurs weren't killed by a comet/meteor impact, but that doesn't detract from your work here at all. I only mention it because I did extensive research on the subject and it always bugs me when people are so quick to blame meteors/comets.
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To reveal an absolute message would defeat the purpose of the poem, it's meant to be vague and inconclusive, maybe even confusing; so that every reader can vision their own conclusions. If I wanted to write something that made instant sense, I'd write an article. Why should I confine myself to sense when writing poetry? In my mind that would be pretty square and boring. Sure I had a message in mind when writing it, but that other people can discover a message more related to them, is more important to me than getting my own message trough. So in short: The reader defines the message, so make up your own mind, don't ask me.
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Ah, I see. In that case this isn't a style of writing or poetry that I like ( I hate it when things don't make sense ), but each to their own. I'm a writer myself, and no one has ever called my writing or poetry boring, even though I "confine" myself to stuff that makes sense. You can be beautiful, elegant, and poetic without sacrificing coherency. There is such a thing as being too creative. But these are my personal feelings on the matter, and I realize not everyone shares them.
The reader defines the message? I've decided that there is no message — it's just a bunch of incoherent rambling sprinkled with the themes of death, eating, and your dog. Mind you it's nicely arranged and pretty.
Thanks for giving my something interesting to look at. ^^
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So if I've understood you correctly, in short you said:
1. I don't like it.
2. I don't get it.
Which is fine, I appreciate you going in depth and explaining why though. That's why I made this new extraordinary poem just for you Hope you like it
The forest usually green
because of the leaves
except for the fall
which is orange
because of the leaves
the reason for it not to be green or orange
is winter
because of the lack of leaves
and possibly snow
btw, it's about the various colours of the forest based on the seasons.
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No need to take a jab at me, mate. Not everyone has the same tastes or opinions. I'm entitled to mine just as you are entitled to yours. You have this piece listed as being up for "critique", so I didn't think you'd mind hearing an honest opinion, be it positive or negative.
If you want to know what kinds of poetry I like, take a look at my signature. I love everything by Robert Frost.
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No harm intended, I was just having a laugh
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It was constructive. I did tell you what I didn't like about it, didn't I? I wasn't as though I piped up with something like "This is stupid" and had that be my entire comment no further details necessary.
I didn't expect you to change it, nor was I asking you to. I was merely stating my opinion and sharing my thoughts as to how I felt it could have been improved ( by being a little more coherent ). This fits every definition of "constructive criticism" that I know of. Whether or not you chose to listen to me was entirely up to you, and I understood that before I typed that first word. I don't really care whether you decide to take my advice — I can think of a lot more important and constructive things to do with my time than waste it trying to argue someone into seeing things my way when they clearly never will. I personally view pieces like this more as literary abstracts and not true poetry, but again, this is only my view on the matter and I am not trying to change anyone's mind.
To echo you, it's that simple, so let's leave it with that.
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is this something about 'stop eating animals'? If yes that would be great
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