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TheAstuteDevil [2019-11-04 04:29:23 +0000 UTC]

Damn, Mr. Redd White has put on weight, it seems like!

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flyhappyaway2 [2018-09-14 00:45:22 +0000 UTC]

Here's my personal headcanons of these dudes' experience in the slammer based on this art (sorry this is long but you inspired me so much):

Daryan Crescend is going to have to learn how to keep calm and fend for himself. He doesn't have a guitar to show off his sweet skills and, unless he finds a way to kill off fellow inmates, he's got no bragging material other than his past experience in his band. He may gain some "friends" that also have a passion for music, but he still needs to watch his back. Once they find out he is easily angered when cornered, he should expect to be provoked every which way. They could be because some inmates are jealous of him, or they could be bored. Either way, they don't take braggarts lightly in prison. He managed to get away with ripping his sleeves to achieve a cool rock star look, but his hair is doomed to droop for eternity.

Ever the chameleon, a paranoid Matt Engarde joins a gang of young pretty-boy punks like him and becomes a pseudo-gangster. This means he's not an actual hardcore guy, he just tries to act like one, when in reality he's just a pest. Only the new inmates are intimidated by him. Those scars on his face come in handy with his overall image, but veteran crooks know he's all bark and no bite. After all, didn't he hire a guy to do the killing for him? What a poser. Essentially after a long time of trying to have the best reputation when he was a celebrity, he learns to adapt to this permanent environment and builds himself a hardcore criminal facade. As far as he knows, Celebrity Engarde is dead. Time to move on to the next useful personality. Deep down, though, Engarde is scared to death. Someone is out there, waiting for him, searching for him, tracking his every step with predatory precision. It's only a matter of time until a peculiar looking prison guard kills him in his sleep, adding another job to the long resume of the de Killer family.

Nobody messes with Kristoph Gavin. New inmates don't know why, but they can tell just by looking at him that he is dangerous. He's sitting so still, reading so calmly. His glasses are clean, despite his environment. Doesn't he know where he is? How does he look so immaculate despite all his time locked up? Even his hair, long and curly from neglect, still hangs perfectly around his head like the branches of a willow tree. Some theorize that long ago he was the attorney for a dangerous criminal and managed to get him a lighter sentence, so he's eternally protected in prison. Some theorize he knows how to kill a man by secretly poisoning something in their cell (trifle things like pencils, pillows, even nail polish). Either way, new inmates figure he is a bloodthirsty serial killer, and leaving him undisturbed is the best way to avoid his wrath. (In reality, nobody has seen him kill a man in jail, not even the other inmates in the group -W-)

Poor Red White. He was completely out of his element when he was first incarcerated. There's nothing "splendiforous" about prison. There's no bling, there are no fancy clothes, and his fancy faux vocabulary gets him mocked and ridiculed with no mercy. What's worse, the prison food ruins his perfect figure and he ages poorly. The only last hint of his former fantastic self is his purple hair, which is another weapon used against him by cruel inmates. After observing Kristoph and secretly marveling at his collected nature, Red finally learns how to sit still and shut up in order to survive. Now he is quiet, morose even, and slowly the insults turn into whispers and snickers. He's used to them by now. At least the inmates in his group aren't rude to him. Sometimes, on a better day, he spends time reminiscing with Damon Gant about the better days. He never imagined having any sort of cordial relationship with a former law officer, the very people he liked to crush under his heel in his glory days. But such is the nature of karma.

Damon Gant isn't very popular in prison. After all, he is the reason why many of them are in jail. He probably has to do favors for an inmate or a corrupt guard for protection, which is a huge blow to his ego. Actually, the entire experience is an ego crusher for him. He loses his presence since he's no longer a figure of justice, and he loses his actual figure since he can't swim anymore. In the end, he either has the choice to wallow in self-pity or reflect upon the errors of his ways and wait for the opportunity of redemption. And he knows exactly what "redemption" is going to look like. He is bound to run into several men who were innocent and sent to prison by him. If he manages to convince them to forgive him, he may have a chance of a better reputation and an easier time in prison. But that would take a crap-ton of humility that he hasn't earned yet, so for right now he is stuck. Despite all of this, he is secretly happy when he hears about yet another victory of Wrighto and Worthy. It's exactly how he imagined the Court of Law was supposed to be, even though he will never be a part of it. If he closes his eyes, he can still hear the sound of the new beginning he mentioned to the court before he left it forever.

It sounds like the melody of a golden pipe organ.

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gamechildd [2018-08-25 05:44:50 +0000 UTC]

matt straight up looks like joel from vinesauce

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Buttscottchpiie [2018-02-20 23:40:16 +0000 UTC]

Everyone sure aged well...except for Redd White of course.

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TFSyndicate [2017-02-13 04:59:44 +0000 UTC]

"He said, 'What were you arrested for, kid?' And I said, 'Littering.' And they all moved away from me on the bench there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I said, 'And creating a nuisance.' And they all came back, shook my hand, and we had a great time on the bench."

"You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant"

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DestinyLovesShiva [2016-12-05 16:01:54 +0000 UTC]

Uh-oh prison...I hope they remember not to drop the soap...!

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