HOME | DD
Nambs — Twilight-The reaction
Published: 2008-12-04 23:43:45 +0000 UTC; Views: 8165; Favourites: 97; Downloads: 28
Redirect to original
Description
YAAAAAAAAAAAY TABLET!So yeah, saw Twilight. It wasn't HORRIBLE, but I don't suggest it for anyone who actually likes movies with a plot. >_> All twilight is is a fluffy sparkly romance with zero real plot.
While I enjoyed it, Chris was deeply offended by Stephenie Meyer's portrayal of vampires and was desperate to voice his opinions. Finally, we found something to upturn that frighteningly even temper of his.
Chris: VAMPIRES DON'T FUCKING SPARKLE, YOU WHACKED-OUT BITCH! GET HELP! DDDDD<
EDIT: For those who dont know, Chris is a vampire. That's the joke.
New Moon-The Reaction: [link]
Twilight and anything related to it (c) Stephenie Meyer
Chris and Rachel Johnson (c) Moi
Related content
Comments: 66
i walked out of the theater when i saw the sparkles and luaghed
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
sparkly vampires are the ones who get killed by vampire hunters FIRST.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
show Chris the show Buffy. there are some awesome vampires in there. they are not all teh same ^_^
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
i read the books (expect twilight cuz that one was BORING.XD)and i never thought her vampires actually SPARKLED u noe what i mean like they were so beautiful it was blinding but if thats what she intended for it to be then MY EFFIN GAWD SHES CRAZY! XD
nd i didnt see twilight till it was on dvd XD wasnt goin to waste my money on THAT XD
im a huge twilight fan but the movie makes u hate it XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Hahaha, that was probably every dragged-to-the-theatre-cuz-of-my-gf boyfriend's reaction to seeing this movie.
In my own opinion, The books were okay, really, the second one and last one were the only ones worth reading pretty much. But when I saw the movie, I almost couldnt make it through, because the two main actors they hired were...well, they were simply awful! I had to laugh too. I think it would have been fine if they just got two people who could actually act for the main characters...No offense to anyone who actually liked them.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I have a vampire character who definately hates twilight because the vampires... sparkle.... she just burns in the sun and can be killed with an aspen stake
Emi: truly sucky concept vampires dont sparkle I mean thats just ew for goodness sake... were sposed to be scarry!!
.... yeah I guess she doesnt count as an offical vampy according to twilight fans and Stephanie myer
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Oh SMeyer would LOVE my particular vampire character. He doesn't drink human blood either, and he married a human himself. He had a daughter before he was turned, and raises her alone now. But he gets SUPER pissed about the series, not just because of the portrayal of vampires, but because they choose to live their lives the way he does, and how he'll always be compared to the meyerpires.
Chris: I didn't even eat meat as a human ! *anger* YOU CAN'T COMPARE ME TO THEM!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Emi: *pats chris consolingly* look we could just make sure the sparkly vampires have an "acident". Ive got connections so it'll be easy to do
... oh gosh emi is such a mafia-like vampire. Im glad she never gets compared to the twilight vampires expet for getting asked if she sparkles. I feel bad for half vampires more though ... they have to deal with the disgrace that is the worst mary-sue ever. (the last book is by faaaar the worst)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Lolololololoooooool Chris can't even crush bugs. He's SO passive and kindhearted all the time. He gets compared to Carlisle all the time, which pisses him off to no end. Actually, I find it mildly amusing, because he's just so damn nice all the time, that seeing him angry is refreshing.
I also have a half-vampire character. Well, he's a rp character, so his race changes with each story. But in the one he's in now, he's a halfie. But he's an INTERESTING halfie. Nothing like that demonspawn Meyer dreamed up. *gag*
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
i always wondered one thing. what made him actually a vampire? or was it just a word trown around for show?
lets review the points
1. they don't burn in sunlight, they shine
2. maybe they die with a stake in the heart but so is any living creature so denied
3. apparently, getting bitten give shiny smooth skin in sunlight
is there something im missing to describe those walking avon products?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I guess the Meyer logic is that the only requirements to be a vampire are to be "dead" and to drink blood. The Meyerpires do meet these requirements, therefore making them vampires.
Personally, I hate the meyerpire. She took away everything cool about a vampire, and replaced it with concentrated essence of idiocy. Sparkling in the sun? It's never even explained WHY they sparkle! If you're going to pull something so far out of left field, Meyer, you have to at least give a plausible explanation to alleviate the wtf-factor.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
what makes them dead anyway?
if they bleed red blood then they aren't dead.
so they only drink blood, and i read somewhere that they can drink animal blood.
all in all, i will never consider them vampire, just wierd beings that got the vampire sticker put on them because its "in" to have a nice vampire main character
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I agree with you. Thry sren't really vampires. And are you sure they really bleed?
I don't think it's nessesarilly the "in" thing, any more than it was the in thing to have a wizard character when Harry Potter was first published. It became the in thing after Meyer shat all over the mythology of vampires. And she ate a pound of glitter beforehand.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
the bleed i made that up since i don't know better but it wouldn't surprise me they do
vampire as "in" because lots of film dealing casual horror (not horror horror) and then some as a vampire as the main character
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Oh, you're talking about film. I dont watch many movies, mostly books. I've kinda sorta read Twilight. I'm picking through the first book, but it's so horrible it's taken me almost a year and I'm not 3/4 of the way through. I've read synoposis and stuff on all the other books and they sound just as horrid. Meyer is a truly terrible storyteller. Her work lacks originality in any way that isn't completely ridiculous and unrealistic.
And the ROMANCE is so badly written! It's the entire point of the damn series, and it's HORRIBLE. At least in the movie it didn't seem as fake. It was still bad, mind you, but this is just plain insane. She really doesn't grasp how people really work.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I muted out the work vampire when ever they said it. If I replace it with mermaid, it not only makes sense, but adds a bit of plot to it too ^^ It'd be entertaining if you can do that, and remove all scenes with Bella and Edward in. Seriously. The movie's biggest flaw was Meyer. The Director actually did a good job dolling it up ^^
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Lmao, hmmm maybe I should read the book if it's so much worse than the movie. It's very rare that a movie is better than its book, and if Twilight has accomplished that I may wet myself laughing. And possibly crying.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Or possibly you'll tear your hair out and become bald? I donno how painful it is to read, but from what I've heard, they've slaughtered alot of Edward's beauty references which are FREQUENT. I wouldn't suggest purchasing it if you dare to read it.
Apparently the last is the best cause the last half of the book has plot.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
What? Plot?! No way!!! o.o
Lol, I was discussing Twilight today with a fan, and I brought up how utterly predictable it is, and how the plot is so overused and cliched that it doesn't even count. Predictably, she tried to defend it. It saddens me to know that she's not interested to read books with a REAL plot, like Pendragon.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
No, see, I was objective when I watched twilight. I was expecting to fall for Edward's good looks and mysterious smile. Simple plot lines work for romance stories ok. Problem was, was he was creepy, and the good stuff was few and far between. Imagine though- reading a book where you have to read 400 pages of presmut before ANY storyline begins? that's Twilight.
And Holey shit- King Arthur is WAY too epic for a 14 year old fan girl of today. I fell in love with medieval fantasy as a young girl, but see, I want a wholesome boyfriend, so the romance in that is appealing to me XD (even with the love affairs XD) The youth today is wired up wrong... I swear. Either that, or half the population are too shit scared to admit they think he's a freak too XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
No no no no nooooo, different pendragon. Though King Arthur has my soul any day of the week.
Lol, I completely agree with you. Edward seemed like an ass to me, despite the fact that I knew his intentions (I was curious enough to hunt down the leaked manuscript written from his point of view, where he reveals himself to be WAY obsessive, but not as MUCH of an asshole.) and things that aren't actually clear from Bella's (boring) POV.
Lol, I've read enough synopsis to have read the book without actually reading the damn book. XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
It's so sad when a blurb explains a whole book. It's like taking a nibble out of a pie and realising that there's no filling in it. Just a shell of a pie. It's nice, but always better with a bit o apple in it of something.... mmmm apple piiiiie
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
lol I don't like pie. *prepared to be crucified*
Seriously though, Pendragon by M.J. MacHale is REALLY good. The plot is original, unlike anything I've ever read before, the writing is superb, the characters are so real and relatable, and its just about impossible to guess what happens next. The plot is so engaging, I love it. THAT is literature.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I've never seen the series, but I'll look out for it ^^ Is it current? (And international? I'm in New Zealand >.> We miss out on a lot of stuff T.T )
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I have no idea about international, but it's pretty current. He's still writing, working on the 8th book right now I think. Unfortunately it's in the young adult section, which I completely disagree with, because it's writen from the point of veiw of a 13-17 year old boy.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
*finds vampires that dont sparkle* Ready boys? Lets get him *runs away to kill Edward at night*
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Lestat: Sparkling Vampires? WTF!?!?
Louis: That's just wrong...
Claudia: I'm offended! Edward dies!!!!!
Me and my companions agree. Vampires don't sparkle...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Chris: I concur. -__- *distinctly NOT sparkling*
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I just wasted $9.50 on that piece of crap. Srsly. But I've read all I could bear of the book.
And the movie...
is better. /wrist/wrist.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Lmao, I haven't read the book. I'm not sure I can bring myself to. But I managed to sit through the movie, and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.
But it still wasn't great.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yeah, that's what I thought too. But the book... *shudder*
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Our whole row burst out in laughter at "This is the skin of a KILLER." O_o
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
OMG so did I. I mean, vampires are scary. Sparkling vampires are just silly.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
ok, I guess that part wouldnt have been SO bad if he didnt finish it off by saying "this is the skin of a killer" or something like that, and the special effect noise, wow.....
funny comic though, thats how my guy friend jason reacted to.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
It just made me plain lol. I actually got shushed by a group of like 9 year olds or something.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Now you know why I didn't want to see it. I wasn't gonna waste $20 just so I could watch 2 hours of horrible acting, super cheesey lines, and terrifyingly messed up make up jobs 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Lol, hey I paid five bucks to see it and it was five bucks well spent. So much lulz. XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Aaaaw, I liked this film very much xD But not because of sparkling vampires and stuff, I just think it was very funny xD I haven't laughed so much for soooooo long!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Lol, there were parts that made me giggle. And like I said, I enjoyed the film. But I think if there were real vampires (like if Chris were real) they'd be DEEPLY offended by stephenie meyer's dazzling version of the mythology.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
yeah, I agree with you xD They'd be offended especially by the 'sparkling' part xDDD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
lol, Chris is usually such an even tempered guy. It's so HARD to get him mad. But goddammit, he is LIVID in my head right now, lol. I'm thinkinf of sketching out a quick follow up comic.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
| Next =>