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Naoru — A comic about asexuality (or labels really)!
Published: 2013-10-23 18:22:26 +0000 UTC; Views: 6764; Favourites: 115; Downloads: 23
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Description
It’s Asexual Awareness Week, so I intended to make a comic about being asexual. But I’m kinda incapable of making a story without having some kind of point to it, so it actually turned more into something about labels lol! I’ve been thinking a lot about labels lately and things such as Neurodiversity. I think sexuality comes into all that too (everything comes into it really) But hey, I hope you enjoy or think or whatever :3Related content
Comments: 66
Yayyyy! AMEN. I love the term Neurodiversity.
. . . wow, you don't even like holding hands? Blows my mind.
I tried really hard to explain this to a person who was saying things like "aren't you sorry you stuck asexuality on yourself now that you feel differently and you dropped the label so easily?" Um, no. It helped me find a community of people I could relate to, make sense of the world, and know myself better. Besides the plain fact of, it's how I felt at the time, and I'm still on the spectrum, mmmmkay?
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XD funnily enough I've found someone who I like holding hands with since this comic was made!! So yeah, perfect example of the whole issue 
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I like how you believe that labels stick you down for a lifetime. And I like that you've turned one you identify with into something you will allow to change whenever it needs to. I feel that way, that my asexuality is entirely legitimate at the present moment, and whatever I am tomorrow or fifty years from now is valid too.
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Its cool you feel that way too! I think its pretty helpful to approach must stuff in life in that kind of way ^^
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aw yay thank you for making this this comic is helpful. I feel ya man. Just use the most convenient label if it makes you happy. everyone else can shove off.
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XD exactly <3 I'm glad you liked it~
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yeah continue your awesome adventure~ see ya round
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I totally agree with this, thanks for drawing <3
I don't want to put myself under pressure like "omg, what if I claim to be asexual today, and it changes tomorrow....?!?!" Nah. I just need to relax, today I feel like I'm completely fitting in the ace-spectrum. If I feel different in a few years - that's life^^
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'spectrum' is a nice word to use :3 It kind of suggests lots different ways of being that changes over time (I'm gonna try use that term more often XD)
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I also love the word "spectrum"^^ Life gets easier (at least for me), if you stop trying to find the right "drawer" for something and instead look for a spectrum. Especially with gender, romantic orientation and sexuality questions.
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Posts like these really take some weight off my shoulders! 
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It isnt silly, its totally understandable! ^_^
Its kinda hard to do when you're a teenager, because everyone is *constantly* comparing each other and you don't know who you are or have decided what you're gonna be yet, but try and not worry about yourself too much 
So yeah, I think its good that you're deciding to not stick to a label yet, that makes sense ^^ I say keep up being honest with yourself and dont let other people push you into doing anything you dont want to do, and just try different experiences at your own pace, only if you want to do them :3 I think in the end, as long as you're not hurting anyone or yourself, there cant be a problem or anything wrong with you
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i know this is old
but thank you. i needed to see this.
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You're welcome, I'm glad it helped you in some way
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Thank you for creating this. It puts into words how I feel but couldn't express.
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I like this very much - it just shows how extremely insensitive people can be and very much not aware of one's feelings.
I don't think anything's wrong with being asexual, I believe it is possible to have sex-free long-term relationships
Thank you for this lovely comic!
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Thank you for the lovely comment! ^^ I agree, long term relationships dont have to involve sex, although of course for many people its an important part :3 But friendship seems to be something that can last and a sex-free relationship is kinda along those lines really
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You're Welcome
Well I would prefer to know it's just a way of deepening their relationship or they want to have a child.
As for friendship.... I guess it depends on the people themselves. Just like when I had a 'good' friend for 4 years and turns out I had to have him out of my life for something he did oh so wrong. And he had his second chance.
Anyway great comic!
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This is the most insightful and well constructed comic I've seen you do. It's well thought out and considers multiple ideas and viewpoints in a balanced way.
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I agree with this! ..that's all I really have to say X3 I think it really does lend itself easily to other things. Like, I don't drink alcohol, and back when it DIDN'T make me ill(it does now), people just said 'Oh well you obviously just didn't try any alcohol you like' or even worse 'But you have to drink!'
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XDDD Oh man I know the feeling. I dont like how most alcohol tastes and I'm not really willing to drink it to just get drunk, I only drink cider! But everyone looks so confused when I explain that, like they can't believe that someone wouldn't drink just because they don't like alcohol lol! XD
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I so agree to this. People just shove dem comments down your throat and you feel like you hate yourself. I know that feel bro
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B'aaaww we gotta stick together and remember we're just as happy and normal as any other person :3
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This touches on a lot of things I've already heard said about asexuality, but I totally agree with the majority of it. I've only ever come across similar comments in response to outright stating that I may be asexual, so now I just don't bother explaining unless someone specifically asks me.
I also find that it's such a fluid kind of thing that's too complex to explain anyway unless the person is genuinely interested/can relate to me. Otherwise I just end up generalising it under the 'asexual' label and people make broad assumptions based off of that.
And I love the comic, it's so cute and flows really well!
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Thanks! ^^ And yeah I agree, I dont like using labels in general because I feel like things are always too complicated to be pinned down under one word, I think there is a place for labels, but not in being used to explain things that are more complex then one word could express.
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I came across this comic ... interested and then ... thought: "This comic read my mind!"
I find myself in the same situation like the first sequence (also im rather confused about myself in this particular topic).
Thanks for this comic. Great work.
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Thank you!
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I really liked seeing thing. I don't like to label myself as asexual, but I feel weird as labelling myself as pansexual, too. I rather just like not labelling myself either way and the need that we need to label ourselves just depresses me.
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Thanks! ^_^ Yeah, I dont like labels at all
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LOL We are all different. But it's funny how we want to name everything thing in the world.
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Argh you know what, this comic couldnt have come at a better time. Its comforting cos lately despite self labelling myself as an asexual for over fours years and I recently just found out that I still havent accepted it. And I was even crying about it yesterday, its causing alot of grief. Well other peoples opinions on it are causing me alot of grief. You know its frustrating when you already know that there's something different about you and instead of getting acceptance from people you care about you just get hate. Such as the stuff you mentioned in the comic like "oh it sounds like you are scared of sex/intimacy." etc
That sort of talk really pisses me off and I still hear people say it to me.
Not sure about you but if my body suddenly decided to change and become "sexual." I would literally just jump in front of a car (cos' I'm selfish too). I'm already going through a hard enough time to simply accept asexuality as a part of me, if my body were to suddenly go full-blown troll on me without taking the serious psychological effects its having on me into consideration. Then fuck it I dont want to live anymore, thats too cruel.
Does that makes sense. Well.
Seriously. This is just a sign of how badly I'm suffering with coming into terms with it. And you think being in a relationship with an asexual guy would make it easier and people would shut up with the stupid ignorant comments on asexuality but it doesn't. It just makes them talk shit even more!! I have fallen in love AND I'M STILL ASEXUAL. Even more than I was before cos I'm suddenly realizing what it really means.
Sorry for the rambling, I'm just venting all over your comic to make myself feel better. Sorry.
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Aw hey its okay, I'm sorry that you're having a tough time about all this kind of thing 
But hey, you've found love and thats really great! Keep ahold of that emotion beside all the negative ones and see where it takes you!
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Indeed true, I'm going to start arguing back though thats the only I thing I can do. lol
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I knew someone who came up with the idea that the reason I had no interest in dating was because I have a negative image of my father and so therefore I have an underlying distrust of men and romantic relationships. I suspect his reasons for coming to that conclusion weren't entirely without motive though.
Actually when these lines (or variations on them) come up, what's said isn't what bothers me. What bothers me is how it is sometimes said, as if something went wrong with you somewhere along the line, but its okay because they know exactly what it was and everything should now be clear to you. It just seems to rely on everyone being exactly the same as everyone else and a lot of cookie-cutter emotions for varying situations. Maybe a lot of that has to do with people's inflexibility with how they see themselves as much as how they see anyone else. Not to mention how much we don't understand about the genetics of sexuality and how much of it can and cannot be affected by underlying psychological factors.
As for labels, I don't use 'asexual' really, firstly because it galls me to volunteer a word which revolves around the perceived lack of something which isn't necessary in my life. Secondly because the first person to use it to describe me said 'oh you must be asexual then' and I don't like being pinned down to something I haven't decided myself. Both of which are just ornery reasons not to use something that operates as shorthand. Haha, basically I'm just mulish.
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Yeah I agree completely! I think 'inflexibility' is the right word, and unless you are quite knowlegable about just how complex and varied the whole world is, people have a natural tendency to group others into 'right' or 'wrong' based on their own experience. In my opinion, the only right or wrong should be based on if you're a harm to yourself or others, otherwise you should be whoever you want to be, no matter if it was genes or environment that influenced you.
And it isnt just for sexuality. I find it quite sad for example that someone has to 'diagnosed' with dyslexia, basically because they simply learn in a non conventional way. And I guess schools are too big to be able to cater to each individual's different way of learning something, but it seems mad that just because you have to learn to read in the non mainstream way, means that you get separated from everyone else and then end up believing that you 'cant read', when you can. Just not in a way that the majority do.
Haha you shouldnt have to call yourself asexual unless you want to. You should just be...you!!
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Exactly! To expand on that, it doesn't just come down to how much you know about the world but the understanding of the origins of its variety and complexity too. Example: A friend of mine was out in Hong Kong and she was saying about how the people there didn't even understand that they were being insulting. Which they weren't really, because what they were saying to her was culturally a compliment. One issue that came up while we were discussing it was a Chinese comedian who blacked up his face- which has a different significance to that of Western blackface (traditionally in opera and drama characters with black faces symbolise just and righteous characters. I was going to put a link to the most famous guy but dA won't let me paste for some reason, look up Bao Zheng if you're interested!). Not to say it wasn't racist as such, just not racist in the same way as western audiences viewed it. There just wasn't the same history behind the action, which people seem to forget also applies to individuals. I'm not sure if I got off-topic there. Basically yes, 'right' and 'wrong' are too subjective.
Dyslexia is one of those things which has been unnecessarily medicalised. I think it's probably better than those kids getting written off as stupid and unteachable which is what used to happen. It's still not handled very well though, mainly in as you say, separation and lack of support. Schools could do much better on that as a whole actually, like the whole debate on whether students with learning difficulties should actually be removed from classrooms. If I remember rightly I read an article on how relationships with their peers were much more positive when they were kept in the same room. One of those situations where familiarity builds tolerance instead of contempt.
Yeah! Man, I wish forms had 'just me' as an option... XD
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This is a really great comic, and there should be more of it. I actually like that you focused more on labels rather than one label, this way it applies to everyone. It really reminds me of that video I posted on tumblr, the one u commented on, sorry that I never got to respond, but I really enjoyed reading your insightful thoughts. I particularly like the way you said that labels should be used to express a current situation, and that we should just accept it when someone says they are into this or that. I completely believe that we can change at any moments, therefore I don't usually like using labels for myself. But it does help establish a current mood/feeling. Thanks a lot for this. I hope more people see it, cuz it's so important to spread this wisdom!
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