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*RVB Opening Theme*

In the mess room, at Blue Base

Now that's a hand! Tucker thought to himself. Four kings and an ace. He's on a winning streak and had just won another of Kai's little 'toy' collection and Caboose's Master Chief 3: The Sang-Man movie disk. He turns his eyes away from the cards and to his opponents. Behind those visors, must be faces riddled with worriedness and fear. He could even hear Kai breathing heavily through that helmet. Confident to win this again, he raises.

Tucker: Raise!

He grabs something from beneath the table and puts it on the table next to his other pile of stuff he has betted none has yet to win. First his stash of porn, his XBOX 1000 and now a rocket launcher aka the SPNKR.

Tucker: Behold the SPNKR! Now who has the balls to beat Tucker The Undefeatable!
Kakaina: No fair! I've only got a few stuff left to raise with!
Caboose: And I'm running out of Master Chief movies!
Tucker: Well you could just give up and walk away. As they say, there's no shame of losing.
Kakaina: Ohho I'm not walking away! How about this, I'll bet you... for ME!
Weiss: My God, woman. Don't you have any dignity in you?

All players turned to see Weiss standing by the doorway.

Caboose: Hi, Weiss! We're just playing poker. Wanna play?
Weiss: Ugh, poker? Why of all games would you all be playing something that involves wasting all of your earnings?
Tucker: We're not betting with money, we're betting our stuff.
Kakaina: Yeah and this asshole took all of my toys!
Weiss: I don't want to think about that. Anyways, stop playing and head upstairs!
Tucker: Why? We're heading to the good part. Alright you two, prepare to face the wrath of my hand!
Weiss: Our 'friends' from Red base are at our doorstep you dope! We-
Tucker: SHH!!! No talking please. Alright you two, prepare to face the wrath of my hand!
Kakaina: Bring it!

Tucker reveals his four kings. Kai reveals two pairs, eights and nines. And Caboose... does not reveal his yet for whatever reason.

Kakaina: NOOOOO!!!!
Tucker: Fuck yes! Make sure you wear something nice tonight! Caboose, show us yours.
Caboose: Uhm, Tucker, can I ask you something?
Tucker: Shoot.
Caboose: If I win, does that mean I can have all your stuff here?
Tucker: That's right, if you can. Muahaha!
Caboose: Okay!

Caboose finally revealed his hand. Tucker was about to laugh in victory, but instead he gasped in horror once he witnessed Caboose's hand. A straight flush! One of the few hands that can beat four kings. The Teal One drops his head onto the table in great defeat. Tucker's stash is now Caboose's!

Caboose: Hooray!
Tucker: NOOOOO!!!!
Kakaina: Pfft HAHAHAHAHAHA! Looks like the 'Undefeated' just got his ass defeated! Haha!
Tucker: Not my yearly porn stash!
Weiss: Hehehe... ahem! Now that you're all done playing, can we get back to the matter at hand?
Caboose: C'mon, Tucker. Let's go see what my brother and his friends want.
Tucker: I don't wanna... sob!
Kakaina: Oh don't be such a baby!

Outside the Blue Base.

Sarge: First my markswoman's rifle, NOW MY WARTHOG? Your Blue existence disgust me!
Church: Well sorry, I've must've mistaken it for a trash disposal truck cause uh... it kinda look like one. HA!
Sarge: Why you dirtbag...
Ruby: You're such a nasty bunch!
Simmons: Yeah and it took us four hours to get the smell off!
Lopez: ¡Y otros seis para limpiar el motor!

Church is in the middle of argument with the entire Red team below him. Last night, Church pulled off a prank by throwing all of the base's trash on the warthog with the help of Caboose. The results of the Reds' reaction were, shall we say, astounding. Footsteps behind him caught his attention, it's about time Weiss got the whole team up here. Weiss approaches Church to ask about the situation as she puts on her helmet.

Weiss: What's the enemy's status?
Church: Still pissed off.

Church points Weiss at the entire Red team below them. She looked down to see Grif and Simmons fully armed to the teeth with flamethrowers. Though what caught most of her attention is the Red with the red cape around his neck. Must be their sniper Church talked about. The one that trashed the base weeks ago. The way he's wearing that cape kinda reminded Weiss of 'her'. But that's not important right now.

Weiss: I see you brought enough firepower to bring this place to ruin again. Now what do you want?
Sarge: We're here to have payback, not a tea party! If you don't come down here like real soldiers, we'll teach you with these fully customized fuel propalled flamethrowers filled with a special sauce me and the boys have cooked up. Delicious!
Donut: And I even took the liberty to add a bit of 'pizzazz' on it.
Weiss: Flamethrowers? I hate to break it to you, but 90% of this whole place is comprised of concrete and steel. How are you going to burn it down?
Grif: Who says we're going to burn your place up? Simmons.

Grif and Simmons approach the old tank. Once their flamethrowers are at a proper range, they both pull the triggers. But instead of fire spewing out the muzzle, an unknown green substance is sprayed onto the tank.

Tucker: Paint? Yeah right, we can just wipe it off!
Simmons:You might wanna turn your air filtration off.
Blues: Uhm... okay?

The Blues raise their hands next to their helmets and push a small button at the side. Suddenly, a horrifying pungent smell stang their noses, burning up their senses. They all started coughing up and spitting as if they smelled something horrible before pushing the button again, turning their air filtration back on.

Weiss: BLAGH!
Kakaina: My nose is FIRE!
Caboose: YUCKY!
Tucker: PFT! PFT! PFT! Oh my God, why did I spit in my helmet?!
Church: YUCK! Jesus Christ that smelled horrible! What the hell is that stuff?!
Simmons: Our 'special sauce'. A formula made out of your trash, rotten cheese, excrement, sweat from Grif's socks, the local plantlife, local alien skunk, all the smelly things one can expect to find around here.
Grif: How's it feel to have a stench much worse your trash!
Ruby: The process was digusting but it's worth it.
Church: But... PFT... we can still wash it off... PFT... YUCK!
Grif: Good luck with that! This smell will stick on you for weeks, possibly months!
Sarge: Ready... aim... FI-

BANG!

Out of the blue, two bullets flew straight into Grif and Simmons' flamethrower canisters before big gasses of green smoke disperses into the air. The stink formula has been released! Ruby yelps and runs away from the stink gas as it engulfs her entire team, thankfully it hadn't touch her. The rest of the Red team on the other hand. Once it disappears, all five of them are covered in the smelly substance, now colored in a hint of green! EWW!

Weiss: Try washing that off, idiots!
Ruby: Oh dear.
Simmons: AAAHHHHHHH!!! IT'S ON US! IT'S ON US! THE CONTAMINATION!!!
Grif: Well... shit.
Donut: EWW EWW! I just mosturize myself!
Lopez: ¿Por qué te estás volviendo loco? Es solo ... oh espera, cierto. No puedo oler
Sarge: Damn you, Blues! You can shoot us, stab us, and mock us all you want, but you can never, EVER, sullied us like this! Except for you, Grif.
Grif: Hey!
Weiss: Using a substance for the purpose to sting your enemies' sense of smell is a terrible idea for chemical warfare. We have helmets, remember?
Ruby: That's no way to treat my friends!
Weiss: Excuse me, are you talking to me Red?
Ruby: Yeah I'm talking to you... uhm... big meanie! How can you call yourself a soldier by sitting up there and mocking your opponents like a coward!
Weiss: A coward?! Now you listen here...

Weiss turns to Church

Weiss: What's her name again?
Church: Uhm... Rebec... Rebecca.
Tucker: It's not Rebecca, it's Raina! I think.
Caboose: RUH-ROH!
Weiss: How can you guys forget a name? You all said you heard it!
Kakaina: Not me, I was hanging out with a bunch of ODST guys that time. Man they were fun!
Weiss: You disgust me.
Church: It's been two fucking week! You can't expect us to memorize it everyday! Plus you interrogated Grif and Simmons, didn't they tell you?
Caboose: Oh they didn't. They were too busy shivering in fear cause Weiss was always screaming at them.
Weiss: Sigh. Follow me, all of you.

Weiss jumps down with the rest Blues following her and drops on the dirt in front of the Red team. Weiss the approaches the Red in the usual angry manner. While she gets mocked and teased all the time, she however does not tolerated being called a coward, even if it were by her own teammates.

Weiss: Now you listen to me very closely! I still don't forgive for what you did to my base. But you do not, DO NOT, mock my position as a soldier!
Ruby: Look I wasn't trying to be rude or anything, I'm just saying that you shouldn't act like an 'ice queen' all the time.
Simmons: Not only that, you're mentally unstable!
Grif: Plus your voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard!
Weiss: What?! My voice does not sound like that! Am I right guys?
Church: With the exception of your singing.
Caboose: That's always the good part!
Tucker: HOOWEE! It's like hearing a thousand sexy angels coming down to hook up with me.
Weiss: Thank you.
Grif: Wait that was you singing that night? I thought you guys were listening to Casey Lee!
Church: That was her singing Casey Lee, dumbass.

The talk between the teams gets silenced by the blast of Sarge's shotgun to the sky.

Sarge: We're here to fight! And these dirty Blues need to pay dearly for what they've done to us!
Church: If you so much as touch us with that stench, I'll blast your head off!
Sarge: You think me and my man would fight you in this disgusting state?
Simmons: We're giving up? Sir, that ain't like you!
Sarge: Of course not. But they'll be fighting... her!

Sarge points to Ruby who startswaving her hand friendly at the Blues.

Ruby: Hi!

The PTSD kicked in. Church, Tucker and Caboose gulped their throats and slowly moves away to the base's door. After what she did to the base, she's a force to be feared of in this canyon.

Weiss: Where are you guys going? She's just one Red!
Church: Didn't you hear of what we told you? She's a MONSTER!
Tucker: And a hot one too!
Church: If you had been here, you could've seen how terrifying this bitch is! I mean look at those eyes!

A shot of Ruby's visor cueing the *Suspenseful stinger music*

RubyL What?
Weiss: And I thought you all to be brave reliable soldiers, not a trio of cowardly conscripts. Oh wait, no offense. C'mon Kai, let's show her how the Blue army deals with Reds.
Kakaina: Nah, I'm cool.
Weiss: What?! Don't tell me you're scared too?
Kakaina: Nah, I kinda feel two-on-one isn't a fair fight at all. It's just doesn't fit my 'code of honor'.
Tucker: ... She'll only do it when it comes to having sex with hot babes.
Kakaina: Her body is considered fuckable!
Weiss: Ugh. Fine then, one on one it is!
Sarge: That's the spirit! So what will it be? I suggest hand-to-hand combat!
Ruby: Uhm, Sarge. I'm bad at close quarter combat, remember?
Sarge: Oh right. Hmm, let's see. Aha! How about, Grif ball!
Grif: There's only two players.
Sarge: Dagnabbit! Sniper duel!
Simmons: We're out of 14.5x114mm rounds, sir. Maybe the Blues can share-
Church: Good luck with that. Your monster destroyed half our ammo supply, including all the sniper rounds!
Sarge: Wrestling match?
Donut: We don't have a wrestling ring.
Tucker: And tight bikinis.

Everyone, mostly Ruby and Weiss, yells various comments of disgust at Tucker.

Tucker: Oh come on, don't female wrestlers wear that?
Kakaina: Not in your "wrestling".
Weiss: Hold on everyone! I think I know a good old fashion way can resolve this problem. Get two pistols!

The Reds and Blues gathered together at the middle of the field where the 'old traditional way' will take place. That is the old 19th century pistol duels. Sarge clears his throat before making an announcement to both teams.

Sarge: The rules are simple. Both opponents will only have one shot in their pistols. On a count of three, they must walk away from each other, back to back and after they finish ten paces of walking, they'll turn around and start shooting each other in the faces! Which I think we have a higher chance of winning.
Ruby: You're too kind!
Sarge" The first one able to shoot their opponent, be it knocking, injuring or killing them, will be declared the winner! Oh and there's a catch, both duelist must turn off their armors' energy shielding. If Red wins, the Blues will have no choice but to cover themselves and their base with the stink formula. A proper punishment for the Blues, buahaha!
Church: And if we win, you'll have to cover your base with that shit too.
Simmons: Wait a minute, does that include the interior?
Church and Sarge: Yes.
Donut: I just painted a new layer in my room! Oh, for God's sake, please win!
Ruby: Don't worry Donut. I can shoot this jerk on the face with both my eyes close.
Grif: Please don't do that.
Sarge: One more thing. If both duelist missed their target, we'll have to restart the round again! Seconds, prepare your duelist!

Both teams prepare their duelist. As Caboose and Tucker get the M6 pistol ready and loaded, Church discuss Weiss about her plan to beat her Red adversary.

Church: So what's your plan?
Weiss: Even with both our energy shieldings off, the armor will still protect me from 50 Magnum caliber rounds. Same with the helmet's visor, though it'll get a nasty crack. That's the good news.
Church: The bad news?
Weiss: The unarmored parts of my body are still exposed, mostly the neck area. If she shoots me at the neck, the shockwave of the round will rupture my jugular vein, killing me in an instant.
Church: Can't you deflect bullets with your glyphs?
Weiss: She'll see it the moment I summon it. You did say she's a sharpshooter right? It'd best not to underestimate her, just like last time.
Church: What do you mean 'last time'?

Weiss kept quiet for a while before responding back.

Weiss: Best to keep it that way.

At the Red's place, Sarge discuss Ruby about her plan to beat the Blue menace.

Sarge: My best guess is the neck! The face is a good target but the helmet will still protect that dirty smirk of hers.
Ruby: Nah too gruesome. Ooh! What about the arm? You said we can win by injuring them, right?
Sarge: That's your decision, as long as I hear that Blue screaming.
Grif: This is stupid!
Sarge: I beg your pardon?
Grif: Isn't this 'pistol duel' stuff old school? The last idea was a lot better.
Ruby: EWW! Not you too!
Donut: Hey at least they wear clothes in this!
Lopez: Además, nadie tiene que masturbarse en secreto en este caso.
Simmons: Okay everyone, the gun's lock and loaded.
Sarge: Great! Now give her a good Texan payback!

Simmons hands the pistol to Ruby. With both duelist ready, they approach to one another with the pistols in their hands. Their teammates keep their distance away, leaving them alone to their pistol duel. Just when the match is about to start, Ruby raises her hand to Weiss as if to give out a handshake which in fact she does wants to. Weiss is confused of this.

Weiss: What are you doing?
Ruby: Just in case if you shoot me first.
Weiss: Why would I shake a Red's hand? Plus didn't you destroy my base week ago?
Ruby: Yeah about that. Sorry. I wasn't able to control myself, but I'vefinally learned my lesson.
Weiss: 'Sorry' isn't enough. And let's not forget the fact that we're still enemies.
Ruby: But that doesn't mean we have to be 'real' enemies. Even if we're here to kill each other, we should at least act like good duelists.
Weiss: Well that's true. It would be impolite to refuse a handshake, even from an enemy.

Weiss accepts the handshakes. But once she touches the hand, it felt as though she once touched this hand before. Ruby had the same reaction when she touches hers too.

Ruby: That kinda felt weird.
Weiss: Yeah. Before we can shoot each other, what's your name?
Ruby: My name is-
Sarge: Alright you two! Let's get this started!
Ruby: Later. My leader's a bit impatient.
Weiss: Same here. My team can't wait for your blood to be spilled. Maybe if we survive, we might talk a little.
Ruby: GASP! Does that mean we can be friends!
Weiss: No.

Ruby and Weiss turn each others backs, ready to start the duel. Sarge begins the countdown.

Sarge: One Mississipi... two Mississipi... THREE MISSISSIPI!!! Start walking!

Both of them started walking. Ruby counts the paces silently while Weiss counts them in her mind. One... two... three... four... five... It's almost close, Ruby thought. Even if she just had a friendly chat, she has to remember that's the Blue's her opponent and she's here to kill her. She must do the same. In order to win this, she'll need to think of her opponent's
face as her's, her damn fucking face, that way she'll be able to pull the trigger! Six... seven... eight... Weiss tell herself that she can do this. Though confident, she was furious to witness the cape the Red's wearing because it reminds it of someone she knew. But she stays cool and reminds herself of the duel. Nine... ten...

RUBY AND WEISS TURNS AROUND AND BOTH PULL THE TRIGGERS SIMULTANEOUSLY!

BANG!!!

Both fell onto the ground. Red and Blue rush to their respective team members. They take a look at them, and noticed both their visors helmets' have entirely been cracked. Sarge is horrified to see his favourite soldier seemingly lying dead on the ground. Despite being covered in shit, he hold her body in his arms, before crying out in grief.

Sarge: NOOOOOO!!! Don't you die on me! You still haven't gotten next week's promotion for destroying the Blue base!
Simmons: Wait isn't next week my promotion?
Sarge: It's been rescheduled. Talk to me! SPEAK TO ME!
Grif: Huh, guess she's dead. Welp, off to get the shovels.
Ruby: Ow... (muffled)
Sarge: Scratch that, she's alive! Thank the Lord himself!
Grif: Fuck.
Donut: Ruby, are you okay?
Ruby: I've... been through worse. Ow! (muffled)
Donut: Uhm... come again?

The Blue's reaction on the other hand, wasn't as dramatic as the Reds.

Caboose: Are you okay?! How big is the boo-boo?
Weiss: Just a minor bruise, that's all. Nothing to worry about. A little help? (muffled)
Caboose: ... Church, I think I'm deaf.
Church: You're not deaf! Something's wrong with her helmet!

He's right. The visors have gone yellow to black, same with the Red's. The HUD's memory card slot isn't emitting any light, indicating no electricity in there. The helmets have gone dark! Weiss tries to take it off, but the helmet is locked onto her undersuit's fabric nmagnetic locks.

Weiss: Church, what's going on? I can't take it off! (muffled)
Church: Calm down. Your helmet must've been damaged.
Weiss: What? (muffled)
Church: I said your helmet's damaged!
Weiss: Oh, what? Damn it, speak up! (muffled)
Church: YOUR... HELMET'S... DAMAGED!
Weiss: ...
Church ...
Weiss: Then why didn't you say so? Get this thing off me! (muffled)
Church: What?
Weiss: Get this thing off me! (muffled)
Church: Shit, now I can't hear her. Caboose, help me out!

Church and Caboose grab the side of Weiss' helmet.

Church: Heave ho!

They pulled it together and successfully removed the damn thing on Weiss with the sound of a pop. Weiss heavily breathes in the air around her. Wearing that unfunctional helmet almost gave her an asphyxiation.

Church: You okay?
Weiss: Next time... I'm buying a new helmet. What about the Red, is she dead?
Church: Well... you're not the only one with a stuck helmet.
Weiss: You've gotta be joking.

The Blues witness the Reds attempting to remove their recruit's helmet. They're having a hard time. Four of the Reds are trying to pull the helmet off as Ruby tries to push it. Lopez also helps them, prying it off with a crowbar on the back of her neck. With one last heave, the helmet finally came off. Ruby breathes in and out like a fish in a water.

Ruby: Oh sweet cool air!
Sarge: How are you feeling?
Ruby: Fine!

As she recovers, she noticed Weiss, now helmetless approaching her. She must've had the same problem as she did. And the other news, her opponent's hand is unscathed. Oh no, she thought to herself. She has hesitated again. Oh well, she can try again in round two.

Weiss: I'm impressed. I expect you to shoot me by the neck.
Ruby: Yeah, I got a little hesistant that time. If I were thinking of someone I would have... easily... shoot... you?
Weiss: Well try not too this time. Come on let's start the... next... round... oh my God.

Upon seeing each other's face, the world felt into a silence. Even the rest of the Reds and Blues didn't mutter a word when they noticed their teammates making a godly shocked expressions at one another.

Caboose: Ooh! Are we playing the quiet game? I love playing this!

Well except for Caboose, that is.

Weiss: R-Ruby?
Ruby: W-W-Weiss?
Weiss: What are you...?
Ruby: What are you...?

They kissed. WROOOONG!!! Both girls smash their heads together like two mountain goats. They start growling at each other with wrathful looks forming on their faces and their eyes that are making contact with each other are filled with extreme hostility! As if you eyes were being deceived, their bodies begin to glow bright.

Weiss: What are you doing here YOU UNDISCIPLINED BRAT!!!
Ruby: And what are you doing here YOU BACKSTABBING JERK!!!
Everybody: Hah? Huh? Wha?

Reds and Blues are completely confused if what they're seeing right now. Just now they were dueling each other like gentlewomen, and now they're growling at each other like rabid dogs! Not only that, THEY KNOW EACH OTHER?!?!

Grif: Okay can anyone explain what the fuck's happening?
Kakaina: Do... they know each other?
Tucker: I think they do.
Caboose: Wow, Church! Weiss has a best friend!
Church: Had. I doubt they're friends, right now.
Simmons: Sir, what do we do?
Sarge: Nothing! I wanna see how this goes!

Back to Ruby and Weiss.

Weiss: It's no wonder why that cape and touch felt so familiar! IT WAS YOU!!! Of all the thousand planets in the galaxy, I've been deployed here only to see YOU HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF A BOX CANYON WITH THE RED ARMY!!!
Ruby: I expected to be away from you, FOREVER AND EVER! Until you showed your EGOISTIC COWARDLY FACE OF YOURS HERE!!!
Weiss: I AM NOT EGOISTIC AND COWARDLY! I was ordered to move!
Ruby: 'CAUSE YOU CARE ONLY FOR YOUR CAREER MORE THAN YOUR BEST FRIENDS!
Weiss: AND YOU FAILED TO CARRIED OUT YOUR ORDERS! IT WOULD'VE ENDED DIFFERENTLY IF YOU HAD LISTEN TO WHAT THEY SAID, YOU SCYTHE SWINGING BITCH!
Ruby: Boohoo! Daddy, a peasent girl like me is being bullied by a mean Ms. Rich Gal!
Weiss: Is that an INSULT?!
Ruby: As a matter of fact, YES!

Weiss had enough, she punches Ruby right at the nose with blood spewing the nostrils! Despite the tears flowing and nose bleeding, Ruby quickly recovered and give Weiss a nasty uppercut to the chin! Then they grabbed each other, trying to pin the other to the ground, but they were equally matched and none had yet bring the other down. This is starting to become pure entertainment for Reds and Blues, mostly Sarge and Tucker. Been a while since Tucker had last saw a good catfight.

Tucker: That's right Weiss baby! Keep them fists flying!
Sarge: Don't let that dirty albino Blue pin you down! Swing the legs, the legs!
Grif: Wow, this is a lot better then the last duel! I'm betting for the white haired chick.
Tucker: The brunette!
Kaikaina: Red haired chick!
Caboose: Fight! Fight! Fight!

Some however were not so keen to seeing this fight.

Church: Should we stop them?
Donut: Of course! Ruby's going to get herself killed!
Church: Why worry? She launched a one man war on our base, I guess she'll be fine.
Simmons: What about your recruit?
Church: Good point. But I'm not going near that psychopath!
Lopez: ¿Qué tal si agarramos a Ruby primero y luego obtendrás el tuyo?
Simmons: How about we grab Ruby first, and then you'll get yours?
Church: Good idea.
Lopez: Eso es exactamente lo que acabo de decir.

Simmons and Donut, quickly grabs her before she could bite Weiss' throat off. Despite two men holding her, they couldn't hold their grip as she violently tries to wriggle off them to finish her business with her "friend". Thankfully, Lopez was around and restrains her with his mechanical strength.

Ruby: Let go of me! She's EVIL INCARNATE!
Donut: Please, Ruby, control yourself!
Ruby: You don't understand she... left... sniff sniff... hehehe...

Ruby forget she's not wearing her helmet anymore, thus leaving her nose vunerable to her team's smelly state, causing her to barf out her breakfast.

Grif: That solves our problem!

Seeing the oppurtunity, Weiss charges at her unconscious enemy, but was stopped once Church grabs her shoulders.

Weiss: Let go off ME!
Church: Calm down will you!
Weiss: I WILL NOT... sniff... oh no... UGH!...

Weiss too have fallen victim to the Red's stink formula, fainting on Church's chest. The Blues sighed in relief. Church hands Weiss to Caboose and carries her unconscious body on his shoulder. The Reds and Blues then looked at each other for a while. With Ruby and Weiss both now out of commision, I think it's time to call it a day.

Church: This was a fun day. Well see you assholes tomorrow.
Sarge: Where do you think you're going? Round 2 hasn't ended yet! Grif, give Ruby your helmet.
Grif: I'm not getting knocked out too!
Sarge: Or would you prefer the old shotgun to the face?
Simmons: Sir, there's no need to 'cause...

Sarge turned to see the Blues no longer in front of them. They already left before he notices.

Sarge: Dagnabbit.

Description
Next

*RVB Opening Theme*

In the mess room, at Blue Base

Now that's a hand! Tucker thought to himself. Four kings and an ace. He's on a winning streak and had just won another of Kai's little 'toy' collection and Caboose's Master Chief 3: The Sang-Man movie disk. He turns his eyes away from the cards and to his opponents. Behind those visors, must be faces riddled with worriedness and fear. He could even hear Kai breathing heavily through that helmet. Confident to win this again, he raises.

Tucker: Raise!

He grabs something from beneath the table and puts it on the table next to his other pile of stuff he has betted none has yet to win. First his stash of porn, his XBOX 1000 and now a rocket launcher aka the SPNKR.

Tucker: Behold the SPNKR! Now who has the balls to beat Tucker The Undefeatable!
Kakaina: No fair! I've only got a few stuff left to raise with!
Caboose: And I'm running out of Master Chief movies!
Tucker: Well you could just give up and walk away. As they say, there's no shame of losing.
Kakaina: Ohho I'm not walking away! How about this, I'll bet you... for ME!
Weiss: My God, woman. Don't you have any dignity in you?

All players turned to see Weiss standing by the doorway.

Caboose: Hi, Weiss! We're just playing poker. Wanna play?
Weiss: Ugh, poker? Why of all games would you all be playing something that involves wasting all of your earnings?
Tucker: We're not betting with money, we're betting our stuff.
Kakaina: Yeah and this asshole took all of my toys!
Weiss: I don't want to think about that. Anyways, stop playing and head upstairs!
Tucker: Why? We're heading to the good part. Alright you two, prepare to face the wrath of my hand!
Weiss: Our 'friends' from Red base are at our doorstep you dope! We-
Tucker: SHH!!! No talking please. Alright you two, prepare to face the wrath of my hand!
Kakaina: Bring it!

Tucker reveals his four kings. Kai reveals two pairs, eights and nines. And Caboose... does not reveal his yet for whatever reason.

Kakaina: NOOOOO!!!!
Tucker: Fuck yes! Make sure you wear something nice tonight! Caboose, show us yours.
Caboose: Uhm, Tucker, can I ask you something?
Tucker: Shoot.
Caboose: If I win, does that mean I can have all your stuff here?
Tucker: That's right, if you can. Muahaha!
Caboose: Okay!

Caboose finally revealed his hand. Tucker was about to laugh in victory, but instead he gasped in horror once he witnessed Caboose's hand. A straight flush! One of the few hands that can beat four kings. The Teal One drops his head onto the table in great defeat. Tucker's stash is now Caboose's!

Caboose: Hooray!
Tucker: NOOOOO!!!!
Kakaina: Pfft HAHAHAHAHAHA! Looks like the 'Undefeated' just got his ass defeated! Haha!
Tucker: Not my yearly porn stash!
Weiss: Hehehe... ahem! Now that you're all done playing, can we get back to the matter at hand?
Caboose: C'mon, Tucker. Let's go see what my brother and his friends want.
Tucker: I don't wanna... sob!
Kakaina: Oh don't be such a baby!

Outside the Blue Base.

Sarge: First my markswoman's rifle, NOW MY WARTHOG? Your Blue existence disgust me!
Church: Well sorry, I've must've mistaken it for a trash disposal truck cause uh... it kinda look like one. HA!
Sarge: Why you dirtbag...
Ruby: You're such a nasty bunch!
Simmons: Yeah and it took us four hours to get the smell off!
Lopez: ¡Y otros seis para limpiar el motor!

Church is in the middle of argument with the entire Red team below him. Last night, Church pulled off a prank by throwing all of the base's trash on the warthog with the help of Caboose. The results of the Reds' reaction were, shall we say, astounding. Footsteps behind him caught his attention, it's about time Weiss got the whole team up here. Weiss approaches Church to ask about the situation as she puts on her helmet.

Weiss: What's the enemy's status?
Church: Still pissed off.

Church points Weiss at the entire Red team below them. She looked down to see Grif and Simmons fully armed to the teeth with flamethrowers. Though what caught most of her attention is the Red with the red cape around his neck. Must be their sniper Church talked about. The one that trashed the base weeks ago. The way he's wearing that cape kinda reminded Weiss of 'her'. But that's not important right now.

Weiss: I see you brought enough firepower to bring this place to ruin again. Now what do you want?
Sarge: We're here to have payback, not a tea party! If you don't come down here like real soldiers, we'll teach you with these fully customized fuel propalled flamethrowers filled with a special sauce me and the boys have cooked up. Delicious!
Donut: And I even took the liberty to add a bit of 'pizzazz' on it.
Weiss: Flamethrowers? I hate to break it to you, but 90% of this whole place is comprised of concrete and steel. How are you going to burn it down?
Grif: Who says we're going to burn your place up? Simmons.

Grif and Simmons approach the old tank. Once their flamethrowers are at a proper range, they both pull the triggers. But instead of fire spewing out the muzzle, an unknown green substance is sprayed onto the tank.

Tucker: Paint? Yeah right, we can just wipe it off!
Simmons:You might wanna turn your air filtration off.
Blues: Uhm... okay?

The Blues raise their hands next to their helmets and push a small button at the side. Suddenly, a horrifying pungent smell stang their noses, burning up their senses. They all started coughing up and spitting as if they smelled something horrible before pushing the button again, turning their air filtration back on.

Weiss: BLAGH!
Kakaina: My nose is FIRE!
Caboose: YUCKY!
Tucker: PFT! PFT! PFT! Oh my God, why did I spit in my helmet?!
Church: YUCK! Jesus Christ that smelled horrible! What the hell is that stuff?!
Simmons: Our 'special sauce'. A formula made out of your trash, rotten cheese, excrement, sweat from Grif's socks, the local plantlife, local alien skunk, all the smelly things one can expect to find around here.
Grif: How's it feel to have a stench much worse your trash!
Ruby: The process was digusting but it's worth it.
Church: But... PFT... we can still wash it off... PFT... YUCK!
Grif: Good luck with that! This smell will stick on you for weeks, possibly months!
Sarge: Ready... aim... FI-

BANG!

Out of the blue, two bullets flew straight into Grif and Simmons' flamethrower canisters before big gasses of green smoke disperses into the air. The stink formula has been released! Ruby yelps and runs away from the stink gas as it engulfs her entire team, thankfully it hadn't touch her. The rest of the Red team on the other hand. Once it disappears, all five of them are covered in the smelly substance, now colored in a hint of green! EWW!

Weiss: Try washing that off, idiots!
Ruby: Oh dear.
Simmons: AAAHHHHHHH!!! IT'S ON US! IT'S ON US! THE CONTAMINATION!!!
Grif: Well... shit.
Donut: EWW EWW! I just mosturize myself!
Lopez: ¿Por qué te estás volviendo loco? Es solo ... oh espera, cierto. No puedo oler
Sarge: Damn you, Blues! You can shoot us, stab us, and mock us all you want, but you can never, EVER, sullied us like this! Except for you, Grif.
Grif: Hey!
Weiss: Using a substance for the purpose to sting your enemies' sense of smell is a terrible idea for chemical warfare. We have helmets, remember?
Ruby: That's no way to treat my friends!
Weiss: Excuse me, are you talking to me Red?
Ruby: Yeah I'm talking to you... uhm... big meanie! How can you call yourself a soldier by sitting up there and mocking your opponents like a coward!
Weiss: A coward?! Now you listen here...

Weiss turns to Church

Weiss: What's her name again?
Church: Uhm... Rebec... Rebecca.
Tucker: It's not Rebecca, it's Raina! I think.
Caboose: RUH-ROH!
Weiss: How can you guys forget a name? You all said you heard it!
Kakaina: Not me, I was hanging out with a bunch of ODST guys that time. Man they were fun!
Weiss: You disgust me.
Church: It's been two fucking week! You can't expect us to memorize it everyday! Plus you interrogated Grif and Simmons, didn't they tell you?
Caboose: Oh they didn't. They were too busy shivering in fear cause Weiss was always screaming at them.
Weiss: Sigh. Follow me, all of you.

Weiss jumps down with the rest Blues following her and drops on the dirt in front of the Red team. Weiss the approaches the Red in the usual angry manner. While she gets mocked and teased all the time, she however does not tolerated being called a coward, even if it were by her own teammates.

Weiss: Now you listen to me very closely! I still don't forgive for what you did to my base. But you do not, DO NOT, mock my position as a soldier!
Ruby: Look I wasn't trying to be rude or anything, I'm just saying that you shouldn't act like an 'ice queen' all the time.
Simmons: Not only that, you're mentally unstable!
Grif: Plus your voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard!
Weiss: What?! My voice does not sound like that! Am I right guys?
Church: With the exception of your singing.
Caboose: That's always the good part!
Tucker: HOOWEE! It's like hearing a thousand sexy angels coming down to hook up with me.
Weiss: Thank you.
Grif: Wait that was you singing that night? I thought you guys were listening to Casey Lee!
Church: That was her singing Casey Lee, dumbass.

The talk between the teams gets silenced by the blast of Sarge's shotgun to the sky.

Sarge: We're here to fight! And these dirty Blues need to pay dearly for what they've done to us!
Church: If you so much as touch us with that stench, I'll blast your head off!
Sarge: You think me and my man would fight you in this disgusting state?
Simmons: We're giving up? Sir, that ain't like you!
Sarge: Of course not. But they'll be fighting... her!

Sarge points to Ruby who startswaving her hand friendly at the Blues.

Ruby: Hi!

The PTSD kicked in. Church, Tucker and Caboose gulped their throats and slowly moves away to the base's door. After what she did to the base, she's a force to be feared of in this canyon.

Weiss: Where are you guys going? She's just one Red!
Church: Didn't you hear of what we told you? She's a MONSTER!
Tucker: And a hot one too!
Church: If you had been here, you could've seen how terrifying this bitch is! I mean look at those eyes!

A shot of Ruby's visor cueing the *Suspenseful stinger music*

RubyL What?
Weiss: And I thought you all to be brave reliable soldiers, not a trio of cowardly conscripts. Oh wait, no offense. C'mon Kai, let's show her how the Blue army deals with Reds.
Kakaina: Nah, I'm cool.
Weiss: What?! Don't tell me you're scared too?
Kakaina: Nah, I kinda feel two-on-one isn't a fair fight at all. It's just doesn't fit my 'code of honor'.
Tucker: ... She'll only do it when it comes to having sex with hot babes.
Kakaina: Her body is considered fuckable!
Weiss: Ugh. Fine then, one on one it is!
Sarge: That's the spirit! So what will it be? I suggest hand-to-hand combat!
Ruby: Uhm, Sarge. I'm bad at close quarter combat, remember?
Sarge: Oh right. Hmm, let's see. Aha! How about, Grif ball!
Grif: There's only two players.
Sarge: Dagnabbit! Sniper duel!
Simmons: We're out of 14.5x114mm rounds, sir. Maybe the Blues can share-
Church: Good luck with that. Your monster destroyed half our ammo supply, including all the sniper rounds!
Sarge: Wrestling match?
Donut: We don't have a wrestling ring.
Tucker: And tight bikinis.

Everyone, mostly Ruby and Weiss, yells various comments of disgust at Tucker.

Tucker: Oh come on, don't female wrestlers wear that?
Kakaina: Not in your "wrestling".
Weiss: Hold on everyone! I think I know a good old fashion way can resolve this problem. Get two pistols!

The Reds and Blues gathered together at the middle of the field where the 'old traditional way' will take place. That is the old 19th century pistol duels. Sarge clears his throat before making an announcement to both teams.

Sarge: The rules are simple. Both opponents will only have one shot in their pistols. On a count of three, they must walk away from each other, back to back and after they finish ten paces of walking, they'll turn around and start shooting each other in the faces! Which I think we have a higher chance of winning.
Ruby: You're too kind!
Sarge" The first one able to shoot their opponent, be it knocking, injuring or killing them, will be declared the winner! Oh and there's a catch, both duelist must turn off their armors' energy shielding. If Red wins, the Blues will have no choice but to cover themselves and their base with the stink formula. A proper punishment for the Blues, buahaha!
Church: And if we win, you'll have to cover your base with that shit too.
Simmons: Wait a minute, does that include the interior?
Church and Sarge: Yes.
Donut: I just painted a new layer in my room! Oh, for God's sake, please win!
Ruby: Don't worry Donut. I can shoot this jerk on the face with both my eyes close.
Grif: Please don't do that.
Sarge: One more thing. If both duelist missed their target, we'll have to restart the round again! Seconds, prepare your duelist!

Both teams prepare their duelist. As Caboose and Tucker get the M6 pistol ready and loaded, Church discuss Weiss about her plan to beat her Red adversary.

Church: So what's your plan?
Weiss: Even with both our energy shieldings off, the armor will still protect me from 50 Magnum caliber rounds. Same with the helmet's visor, though it'll get a nasty crack. That's the good news.
Church: The bad news?
Weiss: The unarmored parts of my body are still exposed, mostly the neck area. If she shoots me at the neck, the shockwave of the round will rupture my jugular vein, killing me in an instant.
Church: Can't you deflect bullets with your glyphs?
Weiss: She'll see it the moment I summon it. You did say she's a sharpshooter right? It'd best not to underestimate her, just like last time.
Church: What do you mean 'last time'?

Weiss kept quiet for a while before responding back.

Weiss: Best to keep it that way.

At the Red's place, Sarge discuss Ruby about her plan to beat the Blue menace.

Sarge: My best guess is the neck! The face is a good target but the helmet will still protect that dirty smirk of hers.
Ruby: Nah too gruesome. Ooh! What about the arm? You said we can win by injuring them, right?
Sarge: That's your decision, as long as I hear that Blue screaming.
Grif: This is stupid!
Sarge: I beg your pardon?
Grif: Isn't this 'pistol duel' stuff old school? The last idea was a lot better.
Ruby: EWW! Not you too!
Donut: Hey at least they wear clothes in this!
Lopez: Además, nadie tiene que masturbarse en secreto en este caso.
Simmons: Okay everyone, the gun's lock and loaded.
Sarge: Great! Now give her a good Texan payback!

Simmons hands the pistol to Ruby. With both duelist ready, they approach to one another with the pistols in their hands. Their teammates keep their distance away, leaving them alone to their pistol duel. Just when the match is about to start, Ruby raises her hand to Weiss as if to give out a handshake which in fact she does wants to. Weiss is confused of this.

Weiss: What are you doing?
Ruby: Just in case if you shoot me first.
Weiss: Why would I shake a Red's hand? Plus didn't you destroy my base week ago?
Ruby: Yeah about that. Sorry. I wasn't able to control myself, but I'vefinally learned my lesson.
Weiss: 'Sorry' isn't enough. And let's not forget the fact that we're still enemies.
Ruby: But that doesn't mean we have to be 'real' enemies. Even if we're here to kill each other, we should at least act like good duelists.
Weiss: Well that's true. It would be impolite to refuse a handshake, even from an enemy.

Weiss accepts the handshakes. But once she touches the hand, it felt as though she once touched this hand before. Ruby had the same reaction when she touches hers too.

Ruby: That kinda felt weird.
Weiss: Yeah. Before we can shoot each other, what's your name?
Ruby: My name is-
Sarge: Alright you two! Let's get this started!
Ruby: Later. My leader's a bit impatient.
Weiss: Same here. My team can't wait for your blood to be spilled. Maybe if we survive, we might talk a little.
Ruby: GASP! Does that mean we can be friends!
Weiss: No.

Ruby and Weiss turn each others backs, ready to start the duel. Sarge begins the countdown.

Sarge: One Mississipi... two Mississipi... THREE MISSISSIPI!!! Start walking!

Both of them started walking. Ruby counts the paces silently while Weiss counts them in her mind. One... two... three... four... five... It's almost close, Ruby thought. Even if she just had a friendly chat, she has to remember that's the Blue's her opponent and she's here to kill her. She must do the same. In order to win this, she'll need to think of her opponent's
face as her's, her damn fucking face, that way she'll be able to pull the trigger! Six... seven... eight... Weiss tell herself that she can do this. Though confident, she was furious to witness the cape the Red's wearing because it reminds it of someone she knew. But she stays cool and reminds herself of the duel. Nine... ten...

RUBY AND WEISS TURNS AROUND AND BOTH PULL THE TRIGGERS SIMULTANEOUSLY!

BANG!!!

Both fell onto the ground. Red and Blue rush to their respective team members. They take a look at them, and noticed both their visors helmets' have entirely been cracked. Sarge is horrified to see his favourite soldier seemingly lying dead on the ground. Despite being covered in shit, he hold her body in his arms, before crying out in grief.

Sarge: NOOOOOO!!! Don't you die on me! You still haven't gotten next week's promotion for destroying the Blue base!
Simmons: Wait isn't next week my promotion?
Sarge: It's been rescheduled. Talk to me! SPEAK TO ME!
Grif: Huh, guess she's dead. Welp, off to get the shovels.
Ruby: Ow... (muffled)
Sarge: Scratch that, she's alive! Thank the Lord himself!
Grif: Fuck.
Donut: Ruby, are you okay?
Ruby: I've... been through worse. Ow! (muffled)
Donut: Uhm... come again?

The Blue's reaction on the other hand, wasn't as dramatic as the Reds.

Caboose: Are you okay?! How big is the boo-boo?
Weiss: Just a minor bruise, that's all. Nothing to worry about. A little help? (muffled)
Caboose: ... Church, I think I'm deaf.
Church: You're not deaf! Something's wrong with her helmet!

He's right. The visors have gone yellow to black, same with the Red's. The HUD's memory card slot isn't emitting any light, indicating no electricity in there. The helmets have gone dark! Weiss tries to take it off, but the helmet is locked onto her undersuit's fabric nmagnetic locks.

Weiss: Church, what's going on? I can't take it off! (muffled)
Church: Calm down. Your helmet must've been damaged.
Weiss: What? (muffled)
Church: I said your helmet's damaged!
Weiss: Oh, what? Damn it, speak up! (muffled)
Church: YOUR... HELMET'S... DAMAGED!
Weiss: ...
Church ...
Weiss: Then why didn't you say so? Get this thing off me! (muffled)
Church: What?
Weiss: Get this thing off me! (muffled)
Church: Shit, now I can't hear her. Caboose, help me out!

Church and Caboose grab the side of Weiss' helmet.

Church: Heave ho!

They pulled it together and successfully removed the damn thing on Weiss with the sound of a pop. Weiss heavily breathes in the air around her. Wearing that unfunctional helmet almost gave her an asphyxiation.

Church: You okay?
Weiss: Next time... I'm buying a new helmet. What about the Red, is she dead?
Church: Well... you're not the only one with a stuck helmet.
Weiss: You've gotta be joking.

The Blues witness the Reds attempting to remove their recruit's helmet. They're having a hard time. Four of the Reds are trying to pull the helmet off as Ruby tries to push it. Lopez also helps them, prying it off with a crowbar on the back of her neck. With one last heave, the helmet finally came off. Ruby breathes in and out like a fish in a water.

Ruby: Oh sweet cool air!
Sarge: How are you feeling?
Ruby: Fine!

As she recovers, she noticed Weiss, now helmetless approaching her. She must've had the same problem as she did. And the other news, her opponent's hand is unscathed. Oh no, she thought to herself. She has hesitated again. Oh well, she can try again in round two.

Weiss: I'm impressed. I expect you to shoot me by the neck.
Ruby: Yeah, I got a little hesistant that time. If I were thinking of someone I would have... easily... shoot... you?
Weiss: Well try not too this time. Come on let's start the... next... round... oh my God.

Upon seeing each other's face, the world felt into a silence. Even the rest of the Reds and Blues didn't mutter a word when they noticed their teammates making a godly shocked expressions at one another.

Caboose: Ooh! Are we playing the quiet game? I love playing this!

Well except for Caboose, that is.

Weiss: R-Ruby?
Ruby: W-W-Weiss?
Weiss: What are you...?
Ruby: What are you...?

They kissed. WROOOONG!!! Both girls smash their heads together like two mountain goats. They start growling at each other with wrathful looks forming on their faces and their eyes that are making contact with each other are filled with extreme hostility! As if you eyes were being deceived, their bodies begin to glow bright.

Weiss: What are you doing here YOU UNDISCIPLINED BRAT!!!
Ruby: And what are you doing here YOU BACKSTABBING JERK!!!
Everybody: Hah? Huh? Wha?

Reds and Blues are completely confused if what they're seeing right now. Just now they were dueling each other like gentlewomen, and now they're growling at each other like rabid dogs! Not only that, THEY KNOW EACH OTHER?!?!

Grif: Okay can anyone explain what the fuck's happening?
Kakaina: Do... they know each other?
Tucker: I think they do.
Caboose: Wow, Church! Weiss has a best friend!
Church: Had. I doubt they're friends, right now.
Simmons: Sir, what do we do?
Sarge: Nothing! I wanna see how this goes!

Back to Ruby and Weiss.

Weiss: It's no wonder why that cape and touch felt so familiar! IT WAS YOU!!! Of all the thousand planets in the galaxy, I've been deployed here only to see YOU HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF A BOX CANYON WITH THE RED ARMY!!!
Ruby: I expected to be away from you, FOREVER AND EVER! Until you showed your EGOISTIC COWARDLY FACE OF YOURS HERE!!!
Weiss: I AM NOT EGOISTIC AND COWARDLY! I was ordered to move!
Ruby: 'CAUSE YOU CARE ONLY FOR YOUR CAREER MORE THAN YOUR BEST FRIENDS!
Weiss: AND YOU FAILED TO CARRIED OUT YOUR ORDERS! IT WOULD'VE ENDED DIFFERENTLY IF YOU HAD LISTEN TO WHAT THEY SAID, YOU SCYTHE SWINGING BITCH!
Ruby: Boohoo! Daddy, a peasent girl like me is being bullied by a mean Ms. Rich Gal!
Weiss: Is that an INSULT?!
Ruby: As a matter of fact, YES!

Weiss had enough, she punches Ruby right at the nose with blood spewing the nostrils! Despite the tears flowing and nose bleeding, Ruby quickly recovered and give Weiss a nasty uppercut to the chin! Then they grabbed each other, trying to pin the other to the ground, but they were equally matched and none had yet bring the other down. This is starting to become pure entertainment for Reds and Blues, mostly Sarge and Tucker. Been a while since Tucker had last saw a good catfight.

Tucker: That's right Weiss baby! Keep them fists flying!
Sarge: Don't let that dirty albino Blue pin you down! Swing the legs, the legs!
Grif: Wow, this is a lot better then the last duel! I'm betting for the white haired chick.
Tucker: The brunette!
Kaikaina: Red haired chick!
Caboose: Fight! Fight! Fight!

Some however were not so keen to seeing this fight.

Church: Should we stop them?
Donut: Of course! Ruby's going to get herself killed!
Church: Why worry? She launched a one man war on our base, I guess she'll be fine.
Simmons: What about your recruit?
Church: Good point. But I'm not going near that psychopath!
Lopez: ¿Qué tal si agarramos a Ruby primero y luego obtendrás el tuyo?
Simmons: How about we grab Ruby first, and then you'll get yours?
Church: Good idea.
Lopez: Eso es exactamente lo que acabo de decir.

Simmons and Donut, quickly grabs her before she could bite Weiss' throat off. Despite two men holding her, they couldn't hold their grip as she violently tries to wriggle off them to finish her business with her "friend". Thankfully, Lopez was around and restrains her with his mechanical strength.

Ruby: Let go of me! She's EVIL INCARNATE!
Donut: Please, Ruby, control yourself!
Ruby: You don't understand she... left... sniff sniff... hehehe...

Ruby forget she's not wearing her helmet anymore, thus leaving her nose vunerable to her team's smelly state, causing her to barf out her breakfast.

Grif: That solves our problem!

Seeing the oppurtunity, Weiss charges at her unconscious enemy, but was stopped once Church grabs her shoulders.

Weiss: Let go off ME!
Church: Calm down will you!
Weiss: I WILL NOT... sniff... oh no... UGH!...

Weiss too have fallen victim to the Red's stink formula, fainting on Church's chest. The Blues sighed in relief. Church hands Weiss to Caboose and carries her unconscious body on his shoulder. The Reds and Blues then looked at each other for a while. With Ruby and Weiss both now out of commision, I think it's time to call it a day.

Church: This was a fun day. Well see you assholes tomorrow.
Sarge: Where do you think you're going? Round 2 hasn't ended yet! Grif, give Ruby your helmet.
Grif: I'm not getting knocked out too!
Sarge: Or would you prefer the old shotgun to the face?
Simmons: Sir, there's no need to 'cause...

Sarge turned to see the Blues no longer in front of them. They already left before he notices.

Sarge: Dagnabbit.