Comments: 25
Starry-Shizen [2012-09-26 14:28:04 +0000 UTC]
Overall
Vision
Originality
Technique
Impact
Okay I'm going to try to make this one as detailed as I can. This is my first critique on dA so please disregard anything I've done wrong ; A ;"
WHAT I LOVE
Okay let me start with the good. I love, love love the perspective! It's brilliant and seems perfect! I also love the painted style that you have~! It makes the BG look really good and the character even better! I also love how the artwork isn't too shiny. It adds more to the "realistic" look, if you know what I mean. Great job on all of that!
WHAT CAN BE FIXED
Now for some things that can be fixed. The clothing. I used the have the same problem at one point, but it's all within practice. Since there is no wind, assume that gravity will do it's job and bring everything down. What I'm talking about specifically are the sleeves and the part of the skirt that's sitting on top of the Torii gate. It looks like they're adhering to some wind that's going on. And if that is the case, you must follow through with the wind on the hair, the leaves and the trees in the background.
Another thing I'm concerned about is her positioning. Not where she is on the gate but rather the anatomy. Is she sitting at an angle? Is she leaning back? I can't tell even with the perspective. Here's something you should consider if you already don't do this: draw the perspective lines out. Since the lines for the gate would be curving upward, I'm sure that she is a little misplaced on it. She could be leaning back which is an uncomfortable position at that height.
That's all I can see that can be improved upon.
COMPOSITION
Okay now here are just some suggestions about the composition. You don't have to follow through, but I think adding more attention to detail in this wonderful piece will benefit you more! Since I'm a nut about composition, I think you could have added a few more elements to the artwork. I'm going to assume that you know the rule of thirds and the composition triangle? If you don't know, please look it up!
Using those two techniques, I'm sure you can add more, like birds or another character! For instance, you can add a character right below, walking towards the shrine, and birds flying away from the shrine in the background. It adds more places to look around rather than just focusing on Sanae, which brings attention away from the details that you worked so hard on!
OVERALL....
I love this artwork! It's the first step to becoming better in your works! I don't even think I can do this well enough, even though I practice a lot! Please take what I mentioned into consideration and practice more! I'm sure your artwork will become 10x better with all the practice! Good luck and have fun!
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NeviNakuta In reply to Starry-Shizen [2012-09-27 10:48:36 +0000 UTC]
WOW !!!@.@ my first recieved critique ever XD
thank you so so so much for a very datailed and useful and great critique
i got way too much experience from it ^^
i do draw the perspective lines but only for the BG TT.TT what a failure
and i will absolutely learn about the composition triangleXD(just a beginner)
your idea about some birds and another girl is way to awesome XDDD
once again,i'm really appriciated for your critique,and i hope too see another critique from you soon ,for the next pic maybe XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Starry-Shizen In reply to NeviNakuta [2012-09-27 21:47:17 +0000 UTC]
I'm glad you took it well! Thanks~! I'll be sure to look out for the next one!
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Tanooki-John [2012-10-30 09:22:50 +0000 UTC]
Great work with Sanae and the Moriya Shrine.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
YayaoSan [2012-10-22 11:06:36 +0000 UTC]
Anh vẽ bg đẹp quá....Em vẽ bg được em chết liền
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
NeviNakuta In reply to YayaoSan [2012-10-22 13:34:33 +0000 UTC]
BG thì a cũng đang tập tành thôi ^^
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
YayaoSan In reply to NeviNakuta [2012-10-24 12:52:12 +0000 UTC]
Như thế mà gọi là tập tành...Siêu đẹp
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NeviNakuta In reply to cemac [2012-10-05 15:49:47 +0000 UTC]
thats a big honor@.@
thanks alot^^
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Uirosu [2012-10-03 14:59:29 +0000 UTC]
dễ thương wa'''''' !!!!
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Catiminy [2012-09-30 16:51:04 +0000 UTC]
So cute !
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Rainnye [2012-09-27 11:02:46 +0000 UTC]
Anh vẽ đẹp quá....em THẬT sự phục anh.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
NeviNakuta In reply to Rainnye [2012-09-27 16:03:50 +0000 UTC]
^^ còn sai sót quá chừng
h a phải luyện lại phối màu
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Rainnye In reply to NeviNakuta [2012-09-28 10:49:20 +0000 UTC]
Anh vẽ đẹp lắm luôn
👍: 0 ⏩: 0