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o-kemono — Anxiety

Published: 2010-07-26 13:36:43 +0000 UTC; Views: 6113; Favourites: 222; Downloads: 85
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DescriptionAnxiety. Fear. Uncontrollable worry. Uneasiness. An unseen voice that ‘predicts’ what will happen to you, that tells you that you are doomed, that you will suffer no mater what you do. You feel dread, restlessness, sickness and depression.

I can’t help but wait for signs of bad things to come, not knowing what lies before I in the future and how it will harm me. I anticipate the worse to happen. I feel stuck, unable to move a muscle of my body as my mind continues to process and load all the negative things that could happen to me or tell me the horrid outcome of something that I did, even from events others might think of as harmless actions or mistakes.

I feel stuck – unable to move my body as I am constantly on my hands and knees, being pushed down by my own negative thoughts and fear. I feel like I have to cower, like a dog being yelled at by a towering voice, telling me that I’m a bad dog. That voice is loud and trembles the ground I stand on. I can’t help but cower in fear with my tail between my legs.

With whatever amount of strength I have in my body, I always try to reach for the phone and call my parents for guidance, to try to block that vicious voice in my head with their calm and motherly tone. If I can’t reach my parents, I go to whatever friends are free or who even cares to help. My focus moves to them instead of that other voice.

They always tell me to KEEP BREATHING. THEY WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME. I AM NOT ALONE. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. IT WILL PASS. I try to swallow it as best as I can, every time they feed me their helpful vocal ‘medication’.

I continue to tell it to go away; fighting back with my own voice of reason against his own. I tell him that I’m right and he’s wrong: this will happen instead of what he predicts. I am in control of my own body, not him. I tell him to stop telling me lies and to stop making me feel worthless and weak. I try to tame him, cracking the whip of common sense until anxiety is back in his own cage. There are times when I can’t do it alone. There, I rely on my friends and family to help me, to aid in the cracking of the whip and push him away so I may heal mind and body.

To hell with you, demon. To hell with you, anxiety. I will tame you and put a smile on my face once more.”


Inspired by people I know who have anxiety, both state and trail.

Artwork © 2010 Alex Cockburn
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Comments: 21

Sibernethy [2019-02-26 15:13:52 +0000 UTC]

May I use this picture an in article I plan to write for LinkedIn? I will credit you for the art if I have your permission.

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o-kemono In reply to Sibernethy [2019-02-26 18:11:58 +0000 UTC]

If you credit and don't alter the picture, please do. Send me a link when you are done


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SBishoptheBard [2012-06-16 17:52:23 +0000 UTC]

I've suffered from anxiety for as long as I can remember, and I didn't even realize that's what it was until about last year, when it peaked to a point where I was actually shaking from the unease and driving myself absolutely bonkers. Until I got some help, I though for sure I was some kind of psycopath, and walked around every day like a ghost. I love this picture you drew and your poem. It personifys what we with anxiety go through so well!

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TheSupremeOverlord [2012-02-28 23:07:14 +0000 UTC]

I had a friend who suffered from anxiety...that poor girl.

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Saellek-Star [2012-02-12 22:40:01 +0000 UTC]

perfect description...I feel the same way most of the time...i wish I could run away and smash things

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trial-of-six [2011-04-13 03:47:32 +0000 UTC]

aww i like it!

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littleblueninja [2011-04-13 01:20:31 +0000 UTC]

i hate it, i hate anxiety and i wish i would leave me alone forever because that is exactly how it is its exactly how i feel and i wish i could just go die in a hole.

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PichiPachiPaw [2011-01-23 04:01:33 +0000 UTC]

Wow... that right there... that describes perfectly about how I'm feeling, how my anxiety is making me feel. I'm tearing up right now. No, I'm crying.

Lovely work. Lovely description. Everything about this is great.

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SirPent [2010-10-08 20:01:21 +0000 UTC]

very emotional

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supershadow333 [2010-08-23 23:19:48 +0000 UTC]

Wow...That's deep (if not devestating) I can totally relate with her (him?) on this. I used to have serious Anxiety problems, only recently have i been able to "subdue the beast" so to put it. Everyone's had to fight the anxiety demon, and it's not a pleasent battle.

But as long as you have the love of a family by your side, paired with the caring of at least one friend, then that demon will die and have it's corpse dragged back to hell.

Stay strong, o-kemeno, stay strong

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theNTFdemonFOX-009 [2010-07-30 05:01:14 +0000 UTC]

Pure perfection in this picture if you ask me. Great job and well yes. Great job.

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WiryJackal [2010-07-27 03:17:39 +0000 UTC]

A moving piece for sure. The drawing is great and the story is too.

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DaBec [2010-07-27 01:34:02 +0000 UTC]

This is a perfect description. Thank you.

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maru--ato [2010-07-27 01:12:16 +0000 UTC]

There are images that contain more than just colors and lines...

This is one of them.

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SpasticMousetrap [2010-07-26 19:32:06 +0000 UTC]

This is brilliant.

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The-Wolf-Watcher [2010-07-26 16:21:51 +0000 UTC]

That's a lovely piece of prose and a really descriptive drawing. Great job!

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EVANGELION-02 [2010-07-26 16:17:34 +0000 UTC]

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biocoal [2010-07-26 15:35:08 +0000 UTC]

Wow, the picture and story are great. Good job.

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Kry-Havoc [2010-07-26 14:12:51 +0000 UTC]

This is competition winning material right here...

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Sara-Ford [2010-07-26 13:51:06 +0000 UTC]

I almost feel bad favoriting this... just because I hate how I let my own anxiety be a defining characteristic of me... but I love your writing, it's always so strong.

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victorymon [2010-07-26 13:40:25 +0000 UTC]

impressive how you always know how to combine a great painting with a good story
and its true. I feel the same many, many times. so many times that I nicknamed my demon. his name is Drake

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