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Oilux — Wake up love
Published: 2012-10-25 19:57:57 +0000 UTC; Views: 2318; Favourites: 99; Downloads: 20
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Description
Hush now,I'm sorry the dream must end.
It's time to wake up
and face the world.
Reality is harsh,
the people are cold,
that's how it is
and you must wake up.
For you have been asleep long enough.
Time to wake love,
and be with your people
they wait for you
and have never given up.
You can't let them down.
The alarm's going off,
and reality is waiting.
You are only human
and cannot do much
but everyone is important
and life is waiting just for you.
Can you hear their cries?
And the bellows of pain?
You can stop them
but only if you wake up.
It's time to wake up love,
and face the world.
They cry for your return
and you can't let them down.
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Comments: 34
Good! Can't have you sleeping in past noon.
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Sounds like the beginning of something big. I like it.
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First off, what is the identity of the speaker in this poem? Why so much repetition of the same idea? After the third stanza, I think it gets to be too much.
This line: "And see with your people" needs some tweaking to be better understood.
I think the best thing you have done in this piece is the development of the voice. If you can broaden your message along the same theme and revise this thing, you could have a successful poem that is truly reminiscent of that time of waking up to a soothing voice.
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Thank you, I'll try my best to improve the next time I try to write something like this.
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Repetition of the same idea: I dunno, but it sounds like the dreamer is trying to find the strength to wake up to another cold, grey day after dreaming of a better world.
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This is just lovely.. Absolutely stunning, and I can picture it being said so sweetly. My new and absolute favorite!
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Oh that makes me so happy that you enjoy it!
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im from england so could i read it out loud if i ever become ur friend and new u in person? xD hyper but yh ^_^ Im British u know ^_^ xD
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You are now my new best friend. Totally, come live under my bed and say this every night until I fall asleep.
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YAY! sweet living under the bed is my dream 
say which bit?
that im british u know? XD
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lol so it's official, come live under my bed.
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YAY! 
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Awesome! Okay *gives you internet, blankets, pillows and food.*
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sweet ^_^ -nibbles cookie- perfect new home
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Yay now we can stay up late and watch movies and do stupid things and no one else can tell us otherwise!
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I read this in my head with an english accent
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You are one awesome person.
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