Comments: 25
RJTrinket [2015-08-30 08:44:09 +0000 UTC]
Me thinks your Corvine is looking for a bite, poor lady! LOL RJ
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RJTrinket In reply to Onyx-Philomel [2015-08-30 18:21:27 +0000 UTC]
I like your stories and I wish they were a bit longer so I could find out what happened later. RJ
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RJTrinket In reply to Onyx-Philomel [2015-08-31 19:18:34 +0000 UTC]
Daily Life and work are erratic and disturbing and make it hard to concentrate so finishing things can be difficult. But it is really a worth while habit to finishing things you start. It's an undeveloped mental muscle that needs to be built up and trained to complete and finish projects. As artists we constantly bombarded by creative ideas, thoughts, and inspirations, our true chore is to figure out the ones we should tackle... and conclude. If you ever finish your stories I would be interested to read them! RJ
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RJTrinket [2015-07-05 06:32:15 +0000 UTC]
Why do you hide your comely face? Male beauty is also art. Or be it, merely the dark mystery thou wish to Keep? RJ
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RJTrinket In reply to Onyx-Philomel [2015-07-05 07:33:51 +0000 UTC]
Okay Dark man of mystery, what ever, I love your work any way, it teases my appetite and imagination for things of the dark side! LOL
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dagoth-jeff [2012-04-01 21:46:30 +0000 UTC]
I'm similar in style, I love to use words that don't see much daylight.
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DramiraSK [2011-05-06 19:04:36 +0000 UTC]
I loved it. The style is great and the flow is just right. You paint a great picture in the beginning all the way to a very interesting scene. You're clearly talented and I hope I can one day describe things the way you do.
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SerraParkerRay [2010-10-17 19:57:39 +0000 UTC]
I really, really like the characters in your stories. However, these seem more vivid.
Your style here has changed, or maybe it just fits better with the time period in which this piece is set.
After reading and practically writing you an essay on every literary piece you have in this gallery, I’m going to say that this is my favorite series. The story is told in short, chronological bits and for some reason it /works/.
Plus, Corvine just seems more interesting than anyone else you’ve presented me with. Maybe I just like the idea of vampires and prostitutes, I don’t know. But this is some very attractive material. <3
You tell Corvine that if he kills that pretty little whore, I’ll be very angry with him.
;D
Well, this is the last ridiculous comment I’ll be leaving today. I really liked reading each of your pieces in order of when they were submitted because I could clearly see the evolution of your writing up until this point. You are absolutely fantastic. <3 Please, keep this up.
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SerraParkerRay In reply to Onyx-Philomel [2010-10-18 00:31:59 +0000 UTC]
QUIT YOUR JOB.
WRITE CONSTANTLY.
...lolno.
I would totally support you if it weren't for my hobo tendencies. Perhaps if I ever get some kind of huge break, I'll buy up all of your stories. And take you to Vegas. ;D
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SerraParkerRay In reply to Onyx-Philomel [2010-10-18 04:16:34 +0000 UTC]
FFFF-.
what the hell, that is completely ridiculous. And 'machine operator at the factory' makes it sound terrible.
Probably because I pictured some kind of Industrial Revolution setting, which I'm sure isn't the case. Ahaha.
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The-CAB-Phantom [2010-06-15 06:53:44 +0000 UTC]
Curious, when he described himself the name Kraven came to mind. A name similar to raven. little did I know that referance to a crow would appear later in the passage. The way you spell the words as would he prononse them makes it a little more difficult to read. (Especialy without referance to country or century that we can look up to translate)
Beautiful and enthralling none the less, pure, and captivating to an unimaginable point.
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Onyx-Philomel In reply to The-CAB-Phantom [2010-06-15 23:02:29 +0000 UTC]
Country & century references were intentionally left out. I wanted him to have an archaic quality, so his speech pattern is influenced by middle English.
Thank you for reading!
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Onyx-Philomel In reply to mydarkhaven [2010-04-21 19:38:08 +0000 UTC]
There's some redundancy.
If it impedes on the flow, I'll certainly try to fix it in future submissions.
Would the removal of 'she inquires into my identity' lessen the repetition any?
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mydarkhaven In reply to Onyx-Philomel [2010-04-21 20:29:29 +0000 UTC]
I believe it would help with the reptition. It truly is wonderfull written though. I cannot wait for the next installment.
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