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Onyx-Philomel — Nightwork: Corvine
Published: 2010-04-21 11:42:31 +0000 UTC; Views: 979; Favourites: 10; Downloads: 27
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Description Atremble with alarm, Charmaine discovers that she is no longer alone. Lifting her hat's frilled brim, her face -- a comely face -- is revealed fully. Flawed only by discolored skin beneath her eyes, she possesses unquestionable beauty -- certain to burgeon with age. I suspect she avoids sleep, or wrangles with minor illness. The latter seems probable, what with her previous fit of coughing.

Her eyes are wide & blue & luster like cabochons in sunlight. For the longest moment she looks me over. I move inky locks from my face to the precipice of my shoulder. My fingernails are tawny & long -- fit for a sylvan inhabitant. Frayed silk & bedraggled boots attest to my bygone affluence. My skin is copper & out of place on the mainland. My eyes, my eerily prepossessing eyes, are marigold with slits for pupils.

At some point I expect her to experience revulsion -- a look of out and out distaste.

On the contrary.

There's a transformation, plainly evident in her features. From apprehension to fascination, she beholds me with a look of unshakeable wonderment.

I try to comport myself cordially -- as mannerly as a cultured gent -- though I'm not in the habit of interacting with others on amiable terms. Human encounters tend to involve bloodletting & grisly satiation; social customs, therefore, are irrelevant.

In a torrential downpour, messy hair shrouds my dark face as I bow. "…You shoulde not be affraied anymore to-niht." I announce, my voice coarse from months of disuse.

Awkwardly, I rise from the nethermost point of my bow.

With amplified fascination, Charmaine seems to find my voice thrillingly curious. I speak with an amalgamated dialect, i.e., a collection of speech patterns from different eras. The evolution of words & pronunciation proper to the current time requires adaptation & prolonged exposure to mortals. Alas, I'm not often among them long enough for formal conversation.

"And how shall I trust a stranger?" Charmaine queries, still noticeably intrigued.      
"Impressiouns are alle that we ha'e whan dealing with strangiers." I return assuredly. "They bifalle naturally, like lea-florets, or propagatinge dendelyouns, whan expos'd to a giv'n persone."
"Maybe -- I don't know ..." Her voice tapers slightly, this from deciphering my abnormal speaking manner.
"Truste rests on your percepcioun." I add, leaving her to decide.

Shaking her head, she dispels the topic. "What is the stranger's name?"

"Corvine." I say succinctly, giving a name I took on some decades ago for its relation to a bird -- a crow -- whose look I quite like.

"It's odd…" Charmaine decides, & after some addlepated delay, she continues with: "Yes, very strange. I say, I want the pleasure of walking with you tonight. I have met no one with your… look. Never. I don't care a bit that you're in old dunnage1, or that your skin is bronze, or your eyes peculiar."

Unexpectedly, she offers the crook of her arm. Our arms soon interweave -- mine hesitantly. We're arm-in-arm, she & I. Her body -- full of blood -- radiates warmth & youthful vivacity. Her breaths -- warm in autumnal air -- are visible. Mine are not. At first I am motionless. She smiles at me, unassumingly cute. My eyes gravitate, as a matter of intrinsic inclination, to her neck…





1. Dunnage:  Clothes.
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Comments: 25

RJTrinket [2015-08-30 08:44:09 +0000 UTC]

Me thinks your Corvine is looking for a bite, poor lady! LOL RJ 

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Onyx-Philomel In reply to RJTrinket [2015-08-30 10:10:18 +0000 UTC]

His appetite for blood is insatiable.

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RJTrinket In reply to Onyx-Philomel [2015-08-30 18:21:27 +0000 UTC]

I like your stories and I wish they were a bit longer so I could find out what happened later. RJ

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Onyx-Philomel In reply to RJTrinket [2015-08-31 01:31:09 +0000 UTC]

I'm a flawed writer, mostly because I never conclude the stories I start. My imagination & motivation can be terribly erratic.

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RJTrinket In reply to Onyx-Philomel [2015-08-31 19:18:34 +0000 UTC]

Daily Life and work are erratic and disturbing and make it hard to concentrate so finishing things can be difficult.  But it is really a worth while habit to finishing things you start. It's an undeveloped mental muscle that needs to be built up and trained to complete and finish projects. As artists we constantly bombarded by creative ideas, thoughts, and inspirations, our true chore is to figure out the ones we should tackle... and conclude. If you ever finish your stories I would be interested to read them! RJ 

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RJTrinket [2015-07-05 06:32:15 +0000 UTC]

Why do you hide your comely face? Male beauty is also art. Or be it, merely the dark mystery thou wish to Keep? RJ

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Onyx-Philomel In reply to RJTrinket [2015-07-05 07:18:15 +0000 UTC]

I'm a man of masks & mystery.

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RJTrinket In reply to Onyx-Philomel [2015-07-05 07:33:51 +0000 UTC]

Okay Dark man of mystery, what ever, I love your work any way, it teases my appetite and imagination for things of the dark side! LOL

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Onyx-Philomel In reply to RJTrinket [2015-07-05 07:55:54 +0000 UTC]

Perhaps I'll motivate you to create something dark.

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RJTrinket In reply to Onyx-Philomel [2015-07-05 08:36:22 +0000 UTC]

I like to paint beautiful Goth men, I think I already acquired a taste for the dark and you merely inspiring me further

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dagoth-jeff [2012-04-01 21:46:30 +0000 UTC]

I'm similar in style, I love to use words that don't see much daylight.

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Onyx-Philomel In reply to dagoth-jeff [2012-04-01 22:23:04 +0000 UTC]

"Txt" speak & apathy are eroding the language. It's a pity.

It's good that you utilize the langauge.

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DramiraSK [2011-05-06 19:04:36 +0000 UTC]

I loved it. The style is great and the flow is just right. You paint a great picture in the beginning all the way to a very interesting scene. You're clearly talented and I hope I can one day describe things the way you do.

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Onyx-Philomel In reply to DramiraSK [2011-05-07 01:10:13 +0000 UTC]

My immense thanks to you for reading it.

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SerraParkerRay [2010-10-17 19:57:39 +0000 UTC]

I really, really like the characters in your stories. However, these seem more vivid.
Your style here has changed, or maybe it just fits better with the time period in which this piece is set.

After reading and practically writing you an essay on every literary piece you have in this gallery, I’m going to say that this is my favorite series. The story is told in short, chronological bits and for some reason it /works/.
Plus, Corvine just seems more interesting than anyone else you’ve presented me with. Maybe I just like the idea of vampires and prostitutes, I don’t know. But this is some very attractive material. <3

You tell Corvine that if he kills that pretty little whore, I’ll be very angry with him.
;D

Well, this is the last ridiculous comment I’ll be leaving today. I really liked reading each of your pieces in order of when they were submitted because I could clearly see the evolution of your writing up until this point. You are absolutely fantastic. <3 Please, keep this up.

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Onyx-Philomel In reply to SerraParkerRay [2010-10-17 21:00:26 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for taking the time to peruse my writing.
Your appreciation is especially valued here, since writing on Deviantart receieves far less attention than photography.


I recall being inexplicably inspired to write this one... Unfortunately for me, motivation concerning writing is frequently sporadic.

It's been too long since I've writtn anything worthy of submission. When overtime at work relents, I hope to resume the series.

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SerraParkerRay In reply to Onyx-Philomel [2010-10-18 00:31:59 +0000 UTC]

QUIT YOUR JOB.
WRITE CONSTANTLY.

...lolno.
I would totally support you if it weren't for my hobo tendencies. Perhaps if I ever get some kind of huge break, I'll buy up all of your stories. And take you to Vegas. ;D

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Onyx-Philomel In reply to SerraParkerRay [2010-10-18 03:27:34 +0000 UTC]

If only that was a prudent option. Hah.
As of now I'm one of four machine operators at the factory, & I endure 50-hr shifts per week. It saps my motivation to write, unfortunately.

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SerraParkerRay In reply to Onyx-Philomel [2010-10-18 04:16:34 +0000 UTC]

FFFF-.
what the hell, that is completely ridiculous. And 'machine operator at the factory' makes it sound terrible.
Probably because I pictured some kind of Industrial Revolution setting, which I'm sure isn't the case. Ahaha.

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The-CAB-Phantom [2010-06-15 06:53:44 +0000 UTC]

Curious, when he described himself the name Kraven came to mind. A name similar to raven. little did I know that referance to a crow would appear later in the passage. The way you spell the words as would he prononse them makes it a little more difficult to read. (Especialy without referance to country or century that we can look up to translate)
Beautiful and enthralling none the less, pure, and captivating to an unimaginable point.

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Onyx-Philomel In reply to The-CAB-Phantom [2010-06-15 23:02:29 +0000 UTC]

Country & century references were intentionally left out. I wanted him to have an archaic quality, so his speech pattern is influenced by middle English.

Thank you for reading!

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mydarkhaven [2010-04-21 14:50:56 +0000 UTC]

As always, a lovely write, and enthralling read

However, your dialogue seems a bit off with the rest of the writing. It's almost as if someone else wrote it. It doesn't quite flow in the same way. You try to describe emotions or thoughts in an off way during or after speech.

Shaking her head, as if to dispel the topic, she inquires into my identity. "What is the stranger's name?"
- It seems bit much to comment twice in the same sentence. I believe there may be a better way to say what you're trying to say without the repetition. All in all, a lovely piece, and I cannot wait for the next one

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Onyx-Philomel In reply to mydarkhaven [2010-04-21 19:38:08 +0000 UTC]

There's some redundancy.
If it impedes on the flow, I'll certainly try to fix it in future submissions.

Would the removal of 'she inquires into my identity' lessen the repetition any?

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mydarkhaven In reply to Onyx-Philomel [2010-04-21 20:29:29 +0000 UTC]

I believe it would help with the reptition. It truly is wonderfull written though. I cannot wait for the next installment.

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Onyx-Philomel In reply to mydarkhaven [2010-04-22 08:25:34 +0000 UTC]

I'll mend the sentence, in that case.

Thank you for your input & appreciation.

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