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OrangeMinion — The Wall's Still Strong
Published: 2007-10-17 01:36:46 +0000 UTC; Views: 111; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 0
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Description
The walls still strongI am still trapped
The pain is still there
To hell with this life
To hell with us all
No one deserves peace
Not while I am involved
I shall go forth now
And tell all that you know
That pain is real
In the heart and in the soul
Don’t doubt me
Because I truly know
Life is great and fun and happy
Until you see something bad
Then it all goes crappy
Downhill from there
Only slight upper lifts
Until you can find your own true bliss
Good luck dear people
And don’t feel pity
I am an immortal
There will be another me
A geek and a goober
A friend and A foe
A pet and A protector
A sister and A lover
An emotional psycho bitch
But most importantly
Throw myself into the mix
Comments: 11
Some of the breaks in lines are a little weird, but the flow works well... The ending fits, showing that the speaker has a 'wall' as the first line states. It's supposed to throw the reader off the pity train and does so well with it.
I really like your work, I was missing out, I wish I had met you sooner!
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Lol Thanks! ^^ Im glad that you did meet me though! I love watchers!
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Hahah, I think I'm going to enjoy watching you.
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I like it too.
But I'm not very fond of the ending, it throws it off balance.
And give's it a stuck up sound.
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Heh ^^ Thanks for the criticism! Your the first ^^ Which means alot bc all my friends just go its good... *cries* They never criticise me enough... O-well!
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Lol, well I guess thier just true friends and don't want to make you upset.
And don't get me wrong I didn't want to hurt your feelings!
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No I like criticism! Criticism helps me understand stuff... ^^
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Lol, ok I'll keep that in mind.
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Not bad, really. As far as content goes I think it's quite nice. It flows pretty well, and I'm rather fond of the ending. xD Good job. :3
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