IceKingPons [2017-03-05 14:05:35 +0000 UTC]
Hello, I'm IceKingPons from ProjectComment
Edit: Sorry, I accidentally clicked enter... writing...
I understand you are drawing in a manga style so I will adjust my comment to this.
This drawing has some issues I would like to point out. The first being the eyes. They are not spaced apart evenly. However, there is an easy fix for this: The eye must always be one eye's distance away from the other. Also, they don't seem to have eyelashes or eyelids. If you see any manga eyes, you will see that they all have a little line to indicate the eyelids and eyelashes. This is a bigger problem if the character's iris is cut like on this drawing. Also, I don't know if it's character design or not but you missed the eyebrows. That can make for a very unusual feeling when looking at it. If it was character design, ignore it. If it was a mistake, consider correcting it.
The next issue I saw was the nose. Everyone has a different way of drawing the nose, but something pretty much universal is that if the character is facing forward, the nose shouldn't have the curve that this one has at the bottom. If your character was drawn from a slightly different angle, then the nose curve would be very good. However, you should always keep the start and the end of the nose on the center of the face. To figure out where this is I recommend using guidelines to see the center.
One of the biggest issues in this drawing is the hair. I will start by saying what all hair should have and base my arguments on those. All hair should have Volume, Structure, and Flow. As for volume, the hair is supposed to stick out of the skull. In this illustration, it looks like if he glued everything to his head. You only need to make the hair be a little thicker so that it looks so... plastic-y. For flow, the hair should be divided into individual strands. Each strand should have its own direction and curve. And for structure, It should look like if it had its own shape. Not complete blackness. To fix all this you just need to add its own structure. As for the color of the hair, you should not color everything pitch black. You should let up on the pencil so you can show the flow of the hair and the shading of it. This will also let you show what parts are behind other parts. Also, when it's white hair, you could still give him some lines to show the flow of the hair.
I don't know what that disc-like thing that is coming out of his head is, but I'm going to assume it's an ear. If it really is one, then I really liked how you made the ear curl around the head. However, you should make it more ear-shaped. If you look at a cat's ear, you will notice that it's got a triangular shape. Also, something that I like to do with ears when they are coming out of something hairy (like a scalp, for example) is to add a small bunch of little hairs at the base of the ear.
Now, for the body. The only part of the body visible is the shoulders and upper chest. For the shoulders, I recommend making them wider; about half the size of the head starting from where the head ends. And since he doesn't have a shirt on underneath the coat, you could add the clavicle. This is a subtle way to show that he is a body and not just a blob of meat. It shows that there are things under the skin. Now, the coat's collar is really nice, and I really liked how you wanted to give it a 3rd dimension and add the back of it. However, you shouldn't show so much of the back because that makes it look like if you were looking at it from above. This makes the perspective in your drawing conflict with itself.
I will include a re-draw of your illustration just so that you can visualize what I have told you in this comment that is too long for its own sake.
icekingpons.deviantart.com/art…
Also, here are some youtubers that do great how-to-draw videos that will help you with anatomy, perspective, and style.
Mark Crilley- He is great in Manga styles and explains step-by-step what do do.
www.youtube.com/user/markcrill…
DrawWithJazza- He is great with anatomy
www.youtube.com/playlist?list=…
They both have great content and I have spent hours watching them. They really help!
Well, that's about it. I saw your drawing and it REALLY reminded me of my own when I had just started drawing. We both have a long way to go but do not despair, because every single drawing that we finish we improve a little. This little gets piled on and before you know it, you will be a great artist! I hope you found this helpful so you can improve.
Also, just in case this is an actual character that I don't know, I don't watch a lot of anime. I just really like the style. If I said something that isn't accurate due to this, I apologize.
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