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WARNING: Title self-explanatory! Protect your kids from reading this if necessary! Kids, if you're reading this....I'm not responsible for any scarring! XD This is purely a parody! No harm intended!

"Dammit Kiku, I’m DONE!! I’m sick of you always hatin’ on my English dubbin’ of anime episodes!! WE’RE. OVER!!" America snapped as he stormed out into the hallway, towards the front door.

"FINE! REAVE!! I wirr finarry be abre to watch horror movies in peace!!" Japan retorted with a huff and a shaking fist, following the blonde out. America stopped in his tracks and glared over his shoulder.

"Annnnd I’m takin’ Miku Hatsune with me!" He picked up the body pillow of the famed blue-haired idol from the couch. A smirk spread across his face when Japan gasped in horror.

"It is Hatsune Miku, baka—"

"Whatever!!"

"—and do not dare take her away from me!!"

"HA! Watch me!!" Just when he was about to escape though, Japan whipped out his cell phone and held it like a gun, pointing at America’s head.

"Arfred-san, if you reave, I wirr not hesitate to send everyone arr of the nude photos you sent me!" the Asian nation threatened. America widened his eyes, stunned.

"W-What?! Dude, you can’t!!"

A small fox-like smile now appeared on Japan’s face as he scrolled through his gallery. He hummed, "Hm, ret us see here...ah yes, the sexy wird western cowboy. It wourd be so nice to show the worrd what Frorida rearry rooks rike, ne?~"

For once, a bright red hue colored the American’s cheeks. "Th-That’s supposed to be our little secret!!"

"Then drop. The pirrow. Now."

Grumbling, he obeyed, but then his blue eyes hardened in determination. "So you wanna play dirty, huh?~" he chuckled right before yanking out his own cell phone. "I’ll send out YOUR nudes!!"

Japan laughed harshly. "Sirry Arfred-san. I had arready dereted my photos from your phone whire you were busy stuffing your face furr with hamburgers!!"

A mixed feeling of shock and respect smacked America. "Smart move, Kiku...but not smart enough!! IGGY! Show yourself!!"

"I told you to stop calling me that, you twit!!" England was quick to defend himself as he jumped out of a nearby closet, pointing a silver cell phone at Japan. Startled, the black-haired man darted his gaze back and forth from England to America anxiously. "N-Nani?? What is this??"

"Hahahaha! I sent all of your nudes to Iggy here as backup!~" he stood proudly with a swelled chest. England disapprovingly shook his head at America’s incompetent hearing ability and the mention of that absurd nickname again.

The Japanese man bristled and stuttered with a mad blush, "E-Engrand-san has seen me n-naked??"

"You damn right I did! More times than I can count!" His lips curved into a smug grin. "And by the way, were you out voting during—"

"If that is another erection joke, I swear I wirr—....K-Kuso!!" Japan facepalmed at his mistake while the two blondes snickered. "F-Fine. You want to pray, Engrand-san?" He narrowed his piercing gaze and pointed another cell phone in the Brit’s direction. "RET US PRAY!!"

His emerald eyes bulged, aghast. "W-What in the bloody hell are you doing with that?!"

"France-san gradry arrowed me to borrow his phone whire he was out shopping for more wine. He tord me to rook under the forder named, ‘Chamber of Secrets’?" Japan teased slyly. An awkward pause followed.

...

...

"...Aw, man," America wrinkled his face in disgust. "Dude, what the hell?"

"I-It’s not like that!!" England tried to frantically explain himself. "I-I was...it was a setup, the blasted--!"

"Of course it was, Engrand-san. By the way...you have a nice, rong ‘wand’, if you know what I mean..." The way Japan emphasized "wand" near the end while eyebrow waggling was all it took to make England furiously flustered.

"Okay, okay, how about we just put down the phones and forget about this mess?" America carefully suggested. "...You first."

"No, you!" Japan exclaimed.

"HOW about all together?" England huffed. The other two exchanged uneasy looks, but hesitantly nodded. Cautiously, they lowered their phones and oh so slowly bent down further....and further.....and further......

Suddenly, Japan sprang back up. "CANADA-SAN, NOW!!"

Said Canadian popped up from behind the couch, aiming a phone at America. PLOT TWIST!

"You send those nude photos, and I’ll send the nude photos of you failing at potty training!!"

America gawked, feeling betrayed. "W-What the fuck?? Bro, why?!" England was equally flabbergasted.

"OH YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHY!!" the normally soft-spoken man shouted. "You stole my jar of Nutella away from me and I had to eat my toast dry! DRY, I TELL YOU!!"

...

...

...

"Wait, wait, wait." America backtracked. "First off, IT WAS NUTELLA?? Dammit, I thought it was chocolate!!"

"It IS chocolate! It just has some hazel—"

"And second," America continued, ignoring Canada predictably. "You’re gettin’ revenge on me because I took away one jar of not-really-chocolate chocolate from you, and not because of the fact that I’m much more louder, popular, and overall awesomer than you?" England, Canada, and even Japan were all trying not to cringe at his grammatical errors.

"...yes, that’s correct."

"DUDE I thought you were jealous of me!"

Canada raised a brow. "Why would I be jealous?"

"Uh...because it’s like I said? And also you complain about bein’ invisible and stuff?"

They were surprised when Canada cracked up laughing. "Haha, oh Alfred...it’s all an act! By complaining I’m invisible, people will take pity on me and actually notice me! Haven’t you heard of reverse psychology? And even if they don’t, being invisible is an amazing power! I can get away with whatever I want!"

"Hey! Who the bleeding hell took my car keys?!"

"Ah! Someone took my warret!"

"See?~" Canada gloated. America was in awe.

"Ohhhh! That’s freakin’ cool!"

"Thanks," Canada smiled.

...

...

...

"THAT IS IT! COME QUICK, BRING NUDES!" Japan yelled into his cell phones.

"Th-The hell, Kiku?! Iggy, call in more back-up!!"

"Oh bugger—WE NEED NUDES RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!!"

"NUDES!"

"NUDES!"

"NUUUUUDES!!" All four desperately cried and out of nowhere, a Viking, an astronaut, Hello Kitty, a donkey, a punk rock star, Darth Vader, Mario, and Santa Claus rushed in and surrounded them. Every person was screaming incoherently and wildly aiming their phones at each other, prepared to dump naked photos on the world at any moment.

"EVERYBODY FREEZE!" Sealand dived into the fray, currently wearing his pajamy jams and holding up a blue phone. "Or else I’m going to send my nude pics to everyone! I’m going to send it sky high, man! Sky freakin’ high!!"

"Peter! Watch your language!" Santa Claus scolded with a hand on his hip.

"O-Oh, sorry, mum."

England sighed in frustration, clutching his forehead. "Sealand, go back to bed! You don’t need to be here! This is purely mature adult business, something a child will never understand."

The boy pouted and crossed his arms. "Fine." Then he added while leaving, "If anyone needs me, I’ll be planning world domination with Liechtenstein and Latvia."

...

...

...

"....AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" they resumed their howling and screeching and bawling until America at last had put a halt to everything.

"Stop, stop, stop! This has gone too far!" He pressed a hand on Mario’s shoulder, sympathetically gazing at each of them. "People are gonna get hurt. Really. Really badly." Cue the American flag waving patriotically in the background. "We havta end this before it gets too out of hand. ...Besides, I have a really hard time believin’ that a Viking, an astronaut, Hello Kitty—"

"It’s Shinatty-chan, dammit, aru!" the donkey’s ass spat. "And would you scoot over, Yong Soo?? Why did I have to be the butt, aru?!"

"Because the donkey’s ass was not made in Korea, da ze! Everyone knows that Korea tops!~" the head of the donkey laughed cockily and then yelped in pain when slapped. Hong Kong rolled his eyes, whole-heartedly glad he had stuck with his rock star idea.

"....a donkey, a punk rock star, Darth Vader, Mario, and Santa Claus all happen to have our nude pictures."

"You would be surpriiiised~" Santa Claus quietly sang as he averted his gaze innocently. Dark Vader giggled, suspiciously sounding like he agreed with a "Da~"

"Can we prease just forget about arr this and put our phones down? No one wirr have their nudes sent and we can arr just go on riving our normar rives." Japan assured. Reluctant glances were exchanged, but honestly, this was pretty stupid to begin with. America smiled, relenting.

"You’re right, Kiku." He voluntarily lowered his phone first.

But at that exact second, Japan’s phone accidentally slipped from his grasp.

Both guys gaped in terror as time and space greatly slowed. Every move and sound dramatically reduced in speed. Japan reached out, attempting to save his phone.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

The words "SENT" with a big green check mark were instantly displayed on the screen.

Chaos broke loose once more. Every person smashed the "SEND" button on their phones repeatedly. Santa Claus wept, The Viking punched Hello Kitty who in turn kicked him where the sun don’t shine, the donkey was having an internal battle, Dark Vader "kolkolkol"ed, Mario was in a fetal position rocking back and forth hysterically while hugging a plate of pasta, the astronaut dropped to his knees and wailed, "¿POR QUUUUUUUEEEEEE????"

....The rock star just kind of stood there. Unfazed. Totally fine with it.

Eventually, one by one, they collapsed and gradually died. America and Japan were the last ones to die.

"Kiku...I’m so sorry. None of this would have happened if I just didn’t send you my...my nudes in the first place..." he choked.

Japan coughed, barely breathing, but mustered a smile. "I know. I am sorry too..."

"Take my hand, Kiku..."

In their final moments, they held hands and closed their eyes.

THE END

Moral of the story: If you reeeeally want someone to see you naked, just do it in person. Practice safe sext.

Description

WARNING: Title self-explanatory! Protect your kids from reading this if necessary! Kids, if you're reading this....I'm not responsible for any scarring! XD This is purely a parody! No harm intended!

"Dammit Kiku, I’m DONE!! I’m sick of you always hatin’ on my English dubbin’ of anime episodes!! WE’RE. OVER!!" America snapped as he stormed out into the hallway, towards the front door.

"FINE! REAVE!! I wirr finarry be abre to watch horror movies in peace!!" Japan retorted with a huff and a shaking fist, following the blonde out. America stopped in his tracks and glared over his shoulder.

"Annnnd I’m takin’ Miku Hatsune with me!" He picked up the body pillow of the famed blue-haired idol from the couch. A smirk spread across his face when Japan gasped in horror.

"It is Hatsune Miku, baka—"

"Whatever!!"

"—and do not dare take her away from me!!"

"HA! Watch me!!" Just when he was about to escape though, Japan whipped out his cell phone and held it like a gun, pointing at America’s head.

"Arfred-san, if you reave, I wirr not hesitate to send everyone arr of the nude photos you sent me!" the Asian nation threatened. America widened his eyes, stunned.

"W-What?! Dude, you can’t!!"

A small fox-like smile now appeared on Japan’s face as he scrolled through his gallery. He hummed, "Hm, ret us see here...ah yes, the sexy wird western cowboy. It wourd be so nice to show the worrd what Frorida rearry rooks rike, ne?~"

For once, a bright red hue colored the American’s cheeks. "Th-That’s supposed to be our little secret!!"

"Then drop. The pirrow. Now."

Grumbling, he obeyed, but then his blue eyes hardened in determination. "So you wanna play dirty, huh?~" he chuckled right before yanking out his own cell phone. "I’ll send out YOUR nudes!!"

Japan laughed harshly. "Sirry Arfred-san. I had arready dereted my photos from your phone whire you were busy stuffing your face furr with hamburgers!!"

A mixed feeling of shock and respect smacked America. "Smart move, Kiku...but not smart enough!! IGGY! Show yourself!!"

"I told you to stop calling me that, you twit!!" England was quick to defend himself as he jumped out of a nearby closet, pointing a silver cell phone at Japan. Startled, the black-haired man darted his gaze back and forth from England to America anxiously. "N-Nani?? What is this??"

"Hahahaha! I sent all of your nudes to Iggy here as backup!~" he stood proudly with a swelled chest. England disapprovingly shook his head at America’s incompetent hearing ability and the mention of that absurd nickname again.

The Japanese man bristled and stuttered with a mad blush, "E-Engrand-san has seen me n-naked??"

"You damn right I did! More times than I can count!" His lips curved into a smug grin. "And by the way, were you out voting during—"

"If that is another erection joke, I swear I wirr—....K-Kuso!!" Japan facepalmed at his mistake while the two blondes snickered. "F-Fine. You want to pray, Engrand-san?" He narrowed his piercing gaze and pointed another cell phone in the Brit’s direction. "RET US PRAY!!"

His emerald eyes bulged, aghast. "W-What in the bloody hell are you doing with that?!"

"France-san gradry arrowed me to borrow his phone whire he was out shopping for more wine. He tord me to rook under the forder named, ‘Chamber of Secrets’?" Japan teased slyly. An awkward pause followed.

...

...

"...Aw, man," America wrinkled his face in disgust. "Dude, what the hell?"

"I-It’s not like that!!" England tried to frantically explain himself. "I-I was...it was a setup, the blasted--!"

"Of course it was, Engrand-san. By the way...you have a nice, rong ‘wand’, if you know what I mean..." The way Japan emphasized "wand" near the end while eyebrow waggling was all it took to make England furiously flustered.

"Okay, okay, how about we just put down the phones and forget about this mess?" America carefully suggested. "...You first."

"No, you!" Japan exclaimed.

"HOW about all together?" England huffed. The other two exchanged uneasy looks, but hesitantly nodded. Cautiously, they lowered their phones and oh so slowly bent down further....and further.....and further......

Suddenly, Japan sprang back up. "CANADA-SAN, NOW!!"

Said Canadian popped up from behind the couch, aiming a phone at America. PLOT TWIST!

"You send those nude photos, and I’ll send the nude photos of you failing at potty training!!"

America gawked, feeling betrayed. "W-What the fuck?? Bro, why?!" England was equally flabbergasted.

"OH YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHY!!" the normally soft-spoken man shouted. "You stole my jar of Nutella away from me and I had to eat my toast dry! DRY, I TELL YOU!!"

...

...

...

"Wait, wait, wait." America backtracked. "First off, IT WAS NUTELLA?? Dammit, I thought it was chocolate!!"

"It IS chocolate! It just has some hazel—"

"And second," America continued, ignoring Canada predictably. "You’re gettin’ revenge on me because I took away one jar of not-really-chocolate chocolate from you, and not because of the fact that I’m much more louder, popular, and overall awesomer than you?" England, Canada, and even Japan were all trying not to cringe at his grammatical errors.

"...yes, that’s correct."

"DUDE I thought you were jealous of me!"

Canada raised a brow. "Why would I be jealous?"

"Uh...because it’s like I said? And also you complain about bein’ invisible and stuff?"

They were surprised when Canada cracked up laughing. "Haha, oh Alfred...it’s all an act! By complaining I’m invisible, people will take pity on me and actually notice me! Haven’t you heard of reverse psychology? And even if they don’t, being invisible is an amazing power! I can get away with whatever I want!"

"Hey! Who the bleeding hell took my car keys?!"

"Ah! Someone took my warret!"

"See?~" Canada gloated. America was in awe.

"Ohhhh! That’s freakin’ cool!"

"Thanks," Canada smiled.

...

...

...

"THAT IS IT! COME QUICK, BRING NUDES!" Japan yelled into his cell phones.

"Th-The hell, Kiku?! Iggy, call in more back-up!!"

"Oh bugger—WE NEED NUDES RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!!"

"NUDES!"

"NUDES!"

"NUUUUUDES!!" All four desperately cried and out of nowhere, a Viking, an astronaut, Hello Kitty, a donkey, a punk rock star, Darth Vader, Mario, and Santa Claus rushed in and surrounded them. Every person was screaming incoherently and wildly aiming their phones at each other, prepared to dump naked photos on the world at any moment.

"EVERYBODY FREEZE!" Sealand dived into the fray, currently wearing his pajamy jams and holding up a blue phone. "Or else I’m going to send my nude pics to everyone! I’m going to send it sky high, man! Sky freakin’ high!!"

"Peter! Watch your language!" Santa Claus scolded with a hand on his hip.

"O-Oh, sorry, mum."

England sighed in frustration, clutching his forehead. "Sealand, go back to bed! You don’t need to be here! This is purely mature adult business, something a child will never understand."

The boy pouted and crossed his arms. "Fine." Then he added while leaving, "If anyone needs me, I’ll be planning world domination with Liechtenstein and Latvia."

...

...

...

"....AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" they resumed their howling and screeching and bawling until America at last had put a halt to everything.

"Stop, stop, stop! This has gone too far!" He pressed a hand on Mario’s shoulder, sympathetically gazing at each of them. "People are gonna get hurt. Really. Really badly." Cue the American flag waving patriotically in the background. "We havta end this before it gets too out of hand. ...Besides, I have a really hard time believin’ that a Viking, an astronaut, Hello Kitty—"

"It’s Shinatty-chan, dammit, aru!" the donkey’s ass spat. "And would you scoot over, Yong Soo?? Why did I have to be the butt, aru?!"

"Because the donkey’s ass was not made in Korea, da ze! Everyone knows that Korea tops!~" the head of the donkey laughed cockily and then yelped in pain when slapped. Hong Kong rolled his eyes, whole-heartedly glad he had stuck with his rock star idea.

"....a donkey, a punk rock star, Darth Vader, Mario, and Santa Claus all happen to have our nude pictures."

"You would be surpriiiised~" Santa Claus quietly sang as he averted his gaze innocently. Dark Vader giggled, suspiciously sounding like he agreed with a "Da~"

"Can we prease just forget about arr this and put our phones down? No one wirr have their nudes sent and we can arr just go on riving our normar rives." Japan assured. Reluctant glances were exchanged, but honestly, this was pretty stupid to begin with. America smiled, relenting.

"You’re right, Kiku." He voluntarily lowered his phone first.

But at that exact second, Japan’s phone accidentally slipped from his grasp.

Both guys gaped in terror as time and space greatly slowed. Every move and sound dramatically reduced in speed. Japan reached out, attempting to save his phone.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

The words "SENT" with a big green check mark were instantly displayed on the screen.

Chaos broke loose once more. Every person smashed the "SEND" button on their phones repeatedly. Santa Claus wept, The Viking punched Hello Kitty who in turn kicked him where the sun don’t shine, the donkey was having an internal battle, Dark Vader "kolkolkol"ed, Mario was in a fetal position rocking back and forth hysterically while hugging a plate of pasta, the astronaut dropped to his knees and wailed, "¿POR QUUUUUUUEEEEEE????"

....The rock star just kind of stood there. Unfazed. Totally fine with it.

Eventually, one by one, they collapsed and gradually died. America and Japan were the last ones to die.

"Kiku...I’m so sorry. None of this would have happened if I just didn’t send you my...my nudes in the first place..." he choked.

Japan coughed, barely breathing, but mustered a smile. "I know. I am sorry too..."

"Take my hand, Kiku..."

In their final moments, they held hands and closed their eyes.

THE END

Moral of the story: If you reeeeally want someone to see you naked, just do it in person. Practice safe sext.