HOME | DD
Paw07 — Twilight isn't a Parody?
Published: 2009-02-13 22:33:16 +0000 UTC; Views: 27608; Favourites: 395; Downloads: 92
Redirect to original
Description
Let me see … I think that the comic speaks for me with sufficient sarcasm, but for the few that wonder how I could possibly hate something they consider “the greatest book evar!” I shall indulge you with an explanation.Now, I must admit that I am an English major and currently taking Secondary Education in order to earn my teaching degree. Now, from the very back of the book I could tell that the plot was weak and cliché, but I put it down and thought nothing more of the novel a few months back; there are many a shelves covered in bad books.
Yet, before I could even turn my head to see what was sneaking up on me, I was suddenly attacked by this ‘thing’ – for lack of a better word – called Twilight.
Now, don’t point at me and say, ‘But you didn’t read it’. Yes, yes, I did. I was actually so disgusted by the thesaurus rape, multitude of easily corrected grammar errors, Mary-Sue gag fest, and poor character development that I couldn’t get through little more than half the book. Yet, I do promise you I have researched the story line thoroughly and the – if barely there be one – plot.
Anyway, to the point, I do not like Twilight because I fear for my future students. You may say, “But at least they are reading something.” Well, yes, they are but that is all. There has been more than one occasion where I have tried to convince younger readers to read something else; they simple reply, “Nah, I’ll just reread Twilight.” You see my worry, no? These young readers think that this type of writing is acceptable. They will think that Mary-Sues are good; that thesaurus rape is okay; that lack of plot is the norm; and that bad writing is good literature. Good literature is a story that reveals something to a reader, not rants on for 280-some pages about her love for Edward. MEYER REVEALED NOTHING, except her inaccurate daydreams of relationships and classic lore.
Furthermore, I wanted to make this comic into a stamp, but I don’t know how to make flash stamps so this will have to do for now. Enjoy and for those of you interested, here are few of my anti-twilight heroes:
Excellent parody and thesaurus rape record: [link]
A site with all the top news anti-twilight: [link]
A hilarious bum reviews new moon: [link]
My anti-twilight collection on DA: [link]
Another hero in my books ... Twilight Ninja! [link]
For your viewing pleasure and movie mocking: [link] and [link]
Related content
Comments: 432
Yes, Twilight had its fans and its critics at the time. As to if it's a good book series or not, I'll leave that up to you. ^.~
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I was talking about the meme from "Demyx Time"
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I always hate it when I am talking to someone and they say they like reading, only to then say that they read stuff like Twilight or John Green books. It gets e really annoyed, because whenever you do find someone who reads they read rubbish!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Twilight defiles everything about vampires, romance and the English language. I'm not one for "classic" literature but there are better options! Read "Harry Potter" or "Lord of the Rings" or "The Chronicles of Narnia" or the "Wrinkle in Time" series. Don't read crap like "Twilight". The saddest part is that Meyers has rereleased the first book with the genders of Edward and Bella swapped DX
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I don't like the Twilight series. I mean, vampires that SPARKLE in the daylight?! Last time I checked, vampires MELTED in the sun, not GLITTERED! What has society come to these days?
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Actually, the Twilight series says that the Volturi spread misinformation about vampires (killed by sunlight, etc) to keep would-be vampire hunters away.
Doesn't make the books any less terrible, though...
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
You forgot Mark Reads Twilight, where this poor, unfortunate man decides to see why there's such powerful fandoms and hatedoms and vows to read and review every single chapter of the series.
He goes over in depth why it's so awful not just in the literary sense, but from the culture it comes from, stereotypes it revels in, and the ideals it promotes. It's utterly hilarious, and also kind of sad sometimes.
The complete archives are here: markreads.net/reviews/2010/11/…
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Read the first book out of curiosity to see what the hype was. I thought, "let's see what happens in the next book," as I like to see how things are to the end. It took me a little over a month for me to get through the second book, which, to me, shows how boring it was. It felt like nothing actually happened until the last ten or twenty pages. Gave up there.
Which is rather sad, as I find myself enjoying what the general public considers bad, but this mostly applies to games and movies.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I read all of the books in middle school when the hype was really getting started because they were going to make the 1st movie soon... I'm so ashamed I was so ignorant, I couldn't see how poorly it was written and just how God awful is was... thankfully about a year after I read them I had a moment of realization... they were terrible. Vampires are way more badass than that.
I'm so grateful that I was saved before I was truly sucked into this terrible fandom
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Don't feel bad ... if its any consolation ... they were supposed to be fairies and not vampires.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
yep 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yeah ... if I think of it that way, it doesn't bother me as much.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
While Twilight is high on the "Bad-Book-O-Meter" I rather like Meyers other book "The Host."
Besides we all know that she was trying to copy Anne Rice's "Vampire Diaries" which is a far better book.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Laughs. Yes, I heard that Twilight originally started out as a bad fanfiction... probably of Vampire Diaries.
But, alas, the last movie is coming out and soon it will all be forgotten history or an old joke, the only reminder for me being the copy that keeps my desk even.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
While I consider Twilight bad fanfiction myself, I've read she more based the idea off a dream she had, about a girl and a vampire. She even outright admitted somewhere she knew nothing of vampires and wrote them just like her dream showed her. Meaning she didn't do her research, which for a writer isn't a good thing.
Personally, I think dreams can be very inspirational. But even if you base a story off of a dream, there are two things you have to do. The first is to make sure it makes sense. Since dreams do not always make sense in places. And number two, if there is something you don't know, don't just put something down. Do research on it.
I do understand your worry completely. However, I think there is still time. And just because someone likes Twilight doesn't mean they don't know how to write well, with good characters and plot. I know an adult who loves the Twilight books, and yet she's given me good advice when it comes to writing. And she likes other books as well, and I believe Harry Potter is among them. So, it isn't too late for any of them to know about good writing.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I'm trying to read Twilight just to see why everyone hates it so much?
(I'm on chapter 2 right now, and, it's not that bad. But I can tell it's gonna get worse.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yeah ... I think so much of the dislike is that such an amateur set of books became so popular. There are plenty of badly written books with poor plot and two dimensional characters ... this one just took the cake.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I understand~! Well, I stick to Video Games cause they have a better storyline~!
(To be honest, I kinda hope I hate it, but the way things are turning out, I think I'm gonna like it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Laughs. Yes, a lot of people get sucked in because Bella is so two dimensional therefore, to fill her gaps, readers can easily envision themselves as her and overlook all the problems with plot and grammar. So it happens. XD
Personally, I agree wit your first statement ... Video Game stories are better.
*Runs off to play Resident Evil 6.*
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I see...I hope, that with this new knowledge, I can HATE ON TWHYLIGHT!
Video games...when the other media forms are too stupid to even CONSIDER!
*Goes to play something random!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
do people really think it's the greatest book ever?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
During its hype, there were some real hard core fans and I'll leave it at that. XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
My friends and I talked it out and we decided that if someone who could actually write wrote the Twilight series, it might have come out better. I reread a couple chapters to find little hints of potential behind the mary-sueness, horrible grammar, and random bits of advanced vocabulary that made me wonder what age group Meyer was trying to write for.
Yes, I see potential and I'm not afraid to admit it. I actually think it's cute that Bella's so out of place with regular teens, but that doesn't mean people should fawn over her so much. If only Meyer was better at characterizing, Bella might have been a very lovable character.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Laughs. Yeah, I can't state I hate the series. Its just another vampire romance in a huge list of vampire romances. I wish the editor would have been more critical of the work, because I feel that the poor structure and development has degraded the standards required and expected for profession publishing from writers.
So, if there had been a secondary writer to assist her or she had a real editor, I don't think I would have cared at all. XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Maybe the person who published her thought it was a parody too.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I'm a bit ashamed to say I did read all four because I wanted to see what happened(and to see if the plot/characters got any better... It/They didn't). But I really don't like it. The plot it next-to-nothing, the characters are undeveloped blobs of wasted ink and their all just mary-sues. I'm not going to hate on people for reading it, but it is obsessive to read it over and over again. All your points are valid and true, you seem very smart :3.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Laughs. I must admit. I wanted to know what the end was ... so I visited wikipedia.
Glad you liked my points. I tried to think as logically as I could to make it a strong supported opinion and not one of blind hate.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Very nice comic to explain how bad the book was. I didn't even get past the first chapter in Twlight and I only finished half way of New Moon. Why do people even like these books?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Laughs. Well, I will tell you why they sold so well. First off, good marketing and because Belle was so 2-Demensional it was easy for people to in-vision themselves as her. Thus, lack of character made it a kind of adventures book. Too bad it wasn't a great adventure book. 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I agree. And english wasn't my first language. Actually, I learned the all of my english in the last 6 years of my life... (I'm 17)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Good to hear that. More people need to be bi-lingual... though my Spanish really sucks. I wish I would have started earlier in life. Its easy to learn.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I meant mostly english literature-wise. If this is what america passes off as goodreading then I'm happy I moved back to Japan.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
The fifth link leads to a forum that was taken down...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Oh... is it? Well, I should edit that. Thanks for telling me.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
No problem... It's the TwilightSucks one, if I got the wrong number.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
It could be a good parody and a great self explanatory: How to not write a novel kind of book.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I completely agree! I cant believe there are people who think Twilight is an acceptable addition to literature... its a monster!! O_O
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I would call it at Frankenstein piece but that would be an insult to that wondrous novel and Mary Shelley. XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
LOL XD Agreed.
I recently wrote a (Criminal minds) One shot where one of the characters rants about how Thesaurus rape should be a crime - with Twilight as the perfect example - it's the only thing that it is perfect for: Its Thesaurus Rape record!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I'd so glad to see an English Major who says all that stuff. I had a teacher in my high school who would literally stop students (on their way to class) just to talk about their "Twilight homework". It sickened me.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I agree completely. I was 12 (or maybe 13, i don't know; old enough and well read enough to know better but young enough I can chalk it off to stupidity) but I read twilight and loved it. And basically obsessed over it. For like a month. Then, my mom handed me the book Interview with the Vampire and said read this. I did, and it was a real book that put twilight to shame. And that is my conversion story
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Thank you for recognizing her plot holes, Mary Sue characters, contradictory events, and lack of a plot overall. I love reading as well as my English classes, and I was horrified by this "book". I fear for my younger siblings, and have helped them get interested in real literature. I have showed them well-written books and I have hope for them.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
| Next =>