Comments: 13
NymphTale [2017-06-26 12:27:16 +0000 UTC]
Hi I'm from Project comment and I'd like to give you a critique ^^ English is not my first language so when I'm unclear, just ask what I'm trying to say I also tried avoiding just writing the same thing as people before me.
I really like this style as well as subject. It's a cool and unique visual that's enhanced by the thick outline and very meticulous texture and shading, especially of the heart.
Two things makes it look a bit less appealing to me, one is very much a nitpick, but the fingers of the free hand look unnaturally crooked, and compared to the other hand it looks less anatomically correct. Usually the base of the fingers aren't in a straight line at the knuckles, but in an arc where the base of the middle finger is furthest from the wrist. This doesn't affect the overall composition to me though.
The other thing I react on is the "upper" foot. I don't really understand from this picture what it's supposed to be supported by. At the moment it looks like it's resting on an invisible platform that should be kind of in front of the other leg, and I guess it could be a part of the stylistic choice (that the person really is in another place, maybe sitting on a table or something, and the heart just being a visual representation of a feeling), but it still looks a bit odd to the human eye. Though I don't find it a problem that it's not obvious how they're perched upon the heart without sliding of. As I said, to me it feels more like a visual representation, and the physics of it isn't the most important^^
Overall I really enjoy this piece, and I've had it in my notifications for a while, waiting for a time when I'd have time and energy to comment on it^^ It really looks like you've taken your time with this piece, not only studying heart anatomy and how to draw, but also the composition, meaning and how to represent your thoughts as well as the visual Idea. Also love the title, it's so somber and relate-able <3
Hope I made myself understood and keep on with your terrific work ^_^
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Persephore In reply to NymphTale [2017-06-26 13:26:52 +0000 UTC]
Thank you, hands are really not my strong side, so your comment is very helpful. As for the foot - at first I was drawing a person sitting on the edge of the roof. It was actually meant to be about contemplating suicide, but I decided to make it less depressive and make "contemplating one-sided love" the main topic instead. I love your idea that it can actually be both: in physical world the girl is sitting somewhere, literally, while in the symbolic world she sits on her heart, suppressing it, figuratively.
(I don't know if anyone got the idea that her sitting on her heart means her trying to weight down and control her feelings lol)
But yeah, your critique was very helpful, so thanks again.
And my English is not all that peachy too, so I guess we are even.
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XXRaptorguyXX [2017-06-24 15:05:00 +0000 UTC]
Hey, that looks really nice! ^^
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NightFoxGangsters [2017-06-24 14:36:43 +0000 UTC]
ello ello there mate. i'm from rojectComment: here to give you constructive criticism
the reason this stood out to me, was because its symbolic. smoking is a thing that a lot of people do, and they know it hurts them. they know it kills them. yet they still do it. my older sister smokes and is trying to stop. and it hurts me to think that she could die
anyways. the drawing is wonderful. i love the media you used it in. and i loved the fact that you didn't add colour. keeping it grey to have a sombre feeling.
its really effective as it can remind a viewer of the smoke of a cigarette.
i love the details you have here. drawing is very very hard lol. and drawing realistic things are the worst to try at. but you heart you drew here is realistic, and keeping to the style you have here.
regarding the human in this drawing, its very good. people are hard to draw, especially hands. ugg hands are the worst. however your hands here are very well done. however i do see that the boys free hand only has 4 fingers. but its not that noticeable. and the anatomy is good. however, the neck of the boy seems a bit too long if you know what i mean. i would suggest making it shorter.
but the rest of him seems to be pretty good.
the last few things i would like to say, is that the cigarette seems a bit limp. from m knowledge, cigarettes don't do that. but i could be wrong. and the other thing, is that i would have a bit of smoke coming off the cigarette or from the boys mot. to really tell people its a cigarette, because the first time i looked at it. i saw a pencil. but then i looked again and saw that it was a cigarette.
finally, i want to say something about where the boy is sitting. if you look, you can see that he must be sitting on the side of the heart. as he isn't on the top of the heart. and he would fall off. :/
i would put him more on the top or make it look like he is leaning on the heart. lastly, on the same subject, i would make the heart sink in where his weight is. otherwise it looks like the heart is made of something harder.
howww.com/wp-content/uploads/2… i would use something like this. see that where the fingers are pressing. the heart kinda sinks in a bit. (don't ask me where i found this image)
that is all i can say from this. i love it a lot. its in a good style, the anatomy is pretty much dead on. and its telling a message without sing words.
one last thing. i saw in the description you answered the question of the title. this makes the artwork that much symbolic. as he best artists have a little bit of themselves in the art they make. so really well done here ^-^
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Persephore In reply to NightFoxGangsters [2017-06-25 11:13:50 +0000 UTC]
Oh, thank you, that's actually way more words than required, so I am flattered - you put some soul in this comment and were not writing it just to get it done.
Yeah, cigerette could be more straight and the heart... it`s there. Just kinda chillin', while it should have looked more like something a person could sit on.
But thnx anyways, you gave me some thought material.
P.S. The title is a quote from a song "Do I Wanna Know?"
P.P.S. This was actually meant to be a girl. A short-haired girl.
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NightFoxGangsters In reply to Persephore [2017-06-25 20:47:21 +0000 UTC]
you are very welcome ^^ i just saw it and thought of how much could write for it.
it is a strong pace of art.
i had no idea there was a song lol, but it seems fitting in a way, like the fact that most teens hide from their parents when they smoke. my sister tried. and failed. badly XD. i can get into sooooo meany story's but i wont bore you.
if its meant to be a girl, theeeeen i would think about adding boobs ^^" j-just so its clear.
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Ashf1re [2017-06-24 13:46:44 +0000 UTC]
wow this is so neat your good at drawing
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