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Description

Note: This is set while the 104th are still in training.
---

Groggily he closed his eyes and allowed the muscle memory in his legs to carry him down the dimly lit halls. Nightfall had come and only had a few measly hours left before it gave up its position to the rising sun. All was silent, his boots clacking against the masonry of the castle resonating loudly against the matching sandstone walls. He wasn’t entirely positive what made him jolt from his position in his quarters; the serene bubble he was floating in had suddenly popped without warning and he felt the unquenchable urge to roam the halls. He was searching for something, an unnamed item that he felt had been missing for quite some time but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

Fire flicked against the walls, small bursts of orange pulsating over his elongated shadow. Nobody else seemed to be awake at this hour except for Erwin but he wasn’t in the mood to sit idly and watch him pour over the paperwork Levi had turned in earlier. He tried to remember the last time he had a night where his mind wasn’t filled with thoughts of scouting formations, new recruits and information about the titans; it was as if all other things had been banished to a lone corner in his mind. His newly promoted title had come with a squad of rookies that had yet to form their bond as a team though their skills exceeded his expectation of such young soldiers. It was their lack of relationship as a group that kept them from last expedition and though it was a small one it took countless lives from all three squads that had gone.

The expedition

Levi was never a man that felt stupid or at least often felt stupid but as of now he was sure he was the most idiotic man alive. He had noticed you hadn’t come to his quarters as you usually did but you both had shot up the ranks faster than most and he presumed you were just busy with the added responsibilities. He quickened his pace, flooded with memories of the scouting legions most recent return; a small formation made up of blood soaked soldiers and bandaged men with sullen and lifeless eyes.

You had returned alone, unharmed physically but the mental toll had carved itself deep in your expression. It had been a week since your squad had perished and he could recall the number of times he had interacted with you on one hand. Growling at himself he sped down the hallways and knocked sharply on your bedroom door. He was met with unsettling silence, clicking his tongue in frustration he wrapped his fingers around the brass knob and shoved the door open.

Pale light skidded across the room in a single beam; your bed sat neatly made with your uniform folded and pressed among the empty sheets. An uneasy feeling curled in the pit of his stomach, you had never made your bed properly and he usually was the one stuck pressing your uniforms seeing as you had an abysmal sense of domestic skills. Muttering curses he closed the door and headed towards your office.

Without knocking he swung the door open and stepped inside. Soft candlelight illuminated the small office; stacks of books that had once sat in a pile on the floor had found their way to a dust free bookshelf stacked against a bare wall, his granite eyes skimmed over the recently polished floor, his tired hues reflecting off the wood. Silently he padded over to your mahogany desk and pressed his fingertips onto your cheek, your eyes were open but you remained unmoving.

“_____” He whispered, taking note of the deep ink colored bags beneath your eyes. “When was the last time you slept?”

You shrugged and pushed yourself up off the desk, blinking groggily at him. You missed him terribly but since you had returned from the expedition it was as if you ceased to exist. It felt as though someone had taken all of your feelings and emotions, scooped them out with a spoon and left you open and hollow. You had lost friends before, hell almost your entire class was mutilated in front of you the first time you left the walls but you had always felt something. Anger, grief, loss, guilt they had always been there scratching at your very existence until you could no longer breathe. This time you had become the empty vessel of what was once a strong soldier, floating infinitely between consciousness and despair.

“Sunday night, I think.” You responded. Levi’s eyes widened before sinking back to their half-lidded stare.

“It’s Thursday morning ____.” His voice sounded constricted and strained as he spoke. “Come on, you need to sleep.”

He took your lack of response as an acceptance of his words; he slung his arms around your waist and yanked you into his chest. A familiar feeling of warmth echoed down his body, the scent of your hair was enough to give his heart an extra beat but the guilt was just pouring off your essence, muddling the natural glow you usually had. He had been in that state many times before and you were always by his side, even in the beginning when he was just a criminal from the underground who Erwin yanked to the scouts without explanation.

“Why can’t I feel anything.” You whispered, voice cracking against his ears. He stiffened for a moment before tucking his arm under your knees and lifting you bridal style.

“Sometimes it’s like that. Either you feel all of it or you just feel nothing. It probably doesn’t help that you’re completely exhausted. Why didn’t you come to me?”

“You were busy.”

Your response hit him like a ton of bricks, making his chest squeeze against his already rapidly beating heart. He was clumsy and unsure of what to do in most situations regarding any aspects of love but you had always been patient and understanding. Even his cruel slips of the tongue hadn’t fazed you one bit and it was your undying affection and need for his loving caress that made him fall madly in love so quickly. For you to feel in your greatest hour of need that he was too busy to care for you had given him a feeling similar to dying in slow motion, unrelentingly painful and cruel.

Kicking the door of his room open with his boot, he walked over to the leather couch and gently laid you on your back. He swiftly slipped his boots off and shut the door, locking it behind him before making his way back to you and undoing your harnesses. You stared blankly at the patterns in the ceiling while deft fingers worked you out of your clothing.

“I didn’t mean you did anything wrong Levi. I just meant I knew you were busy with your new squad and everything.” You said, tugging at your bottom lip anxiously; it took so much effort to form coherent sentences lately. “And I didn’t want you to feel responsible for me since I’m such a mess.”

Levi was silent for a minute while he slid your pants down your legs, eyes hungrily taking in the sight of your bare skin. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt you under him, the last time you called his name at the peak of ecstasy or the warmth of your lips hungrily attaching themselves to the skin of his neck. Pulling you up by your shoulders he watched your eyelids attempt to close, your once bright eyes full of fatigue and loss. He ran his fingers along the hem of your shirt before pulling it above your head and tossing into onto the floor.

“Do you remember the first time we met?” He asked calmly pulling you into his lap. You slinked your arms loosely around his neck, a soft smile planted on your face at the memory.

“You mean when you so rudely bumped into me while I was trying to mount my horse for the expedition?” You asked, a playful laugh escaping your mouth. His stomach flipped backwards at the sound of your giggle, it had been too long since he heard it.

“And you called me a fuckass for not apologizing then threw an apple at the back of my head.” He finished, laying his forehead against yours. “I was a mess after we came back from that expedition and even though our only interaction was heated you still stood there, waiting for me to realize I needed somebody to vent to.”

“As I recall you stared blankly at me for a solid twenty minutes and tried to desolate me with your eyes.” You replied tapping his lips with yours finger. He scoffed and placed his hands on your hips, kneading the soft flesh with his thumbs.

“But I didn’t ask you to leave me alone.”

“Yes you did.”

“Fine once, but you’re missing the point brat.” He growled, planting a chaste kiss on your lips. “Taking care of you is not extra baggage to me. The fact that you’ve been awake for three days straight is damn near suicidal, I should have checked up on you right after you got back. How have you gone that long without Erwin or Mike noticing? And Hanji, isn’t she always up your ass?”

“I’m stealthy I guess.” You said with a shrug. He narrowed his eyes at you, his frown deepening. “You did check up on me and I did kind of purposely avoid you afterwards.”

He clicked his tongue and carried you over to the bed, tossing you unceremoniously into the soft comforter. Ridding himself of his belts and clothing he crawled onto the mattress, pulled you into his bare chest and began running his fingers through your hair. A spark of tranquility that started at your scalp quickly spread through your entire body making your muscles finally relax and waned you of any remaining strength that had been used to fight the sleep you so desperately needed. Your heavy eyelids finally closed as the rhythm of his breathing lulled you into a dreamless slumber.

It was dark when your eyes sprang open, the moon hung round and full in the cobalt sky, a single beam of white light cast upon the sleeping man behind you. His head lay tucked behind your head, lips pressed against the base of your neck while his arms secured themselves around your waist. Peering at the wooden clock hanging on the wall you attempted to make out the time but the shadows made it impossible to read. Your muscles felt stiff and rigid, even when you went to stretch your legs it felt as though you were a rubber band ready to snap at any minute.

“Mmm, quit moving.” Levi mumbled sleepily. “Go back to sleep.”

“Levi, its night time. How long have I been asleep?” You asked turning to face him. He sighed and opened one eye, onyx tresses falling around his cheeks.

“A day and a half.”

“WHAT!”

“Shhhh, fuck ____ do you need to yell? It’s late as fuck now go back to sleep.” He grumbled and yanked you into his body. “I told Erwin you hadn’t slept for days and he agreed to let you rest. You can get back into your routine in the morning. Now hush.”

It was a soft pang, barely noticeable in your shocked state, but you were a bit pissed at Levi for snapping at you. It took you a minute to recognize the feeling, but it was there. A wide smile graced your features; the small bout of frustration ebbed away by your cognitive comprehension that pieces of you were finding their way back to their rightful place. Squishing his cheeks together in your palms you pressed your lips to his unsuspecting ones. His eyes flew open for a fraction of a second before closing again, focusing on the soothing rhythm of your mouth melding with his. For the first time in awhile he was the one to pull away for air, his soft lips parted to hide the breathless feeling in his chest.

“Levi, I’m not sleepy anymore..” you whispered, tugging a strand of his hair with your finger. His tongue darted to wet his bottom lip while his hands snaked down your lower back.

“I supposed I could help you find a solution, squad leader.”

“Why thank you for your kindness, corporal.”

Yet another sleepless night awaited you, although it was much more enjoyable with the added company.

Description

Note: This is set while the 104th are still in training.
---

Groggily he closed his eyes and allowed the muscle memory in his legs to carry him down the dimly lit halls. Nightfall had come and only had a few measly hours left before it gave up its position to the rising sun. All was silent, his boots clacking against the masonry of the castle resonating loudly against the matching sandstone walls. He wasn’t entirely positive what made him jolt from his position in his quarters; the serene bubble he was floating in had suddenly popped without warning and he felt the unquenchable urge to roam the halls. He was searching for something, an unnamed item that he felt had been missing for quite some time but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

Fire flicked against the walls, small bursts of orange pulsating over his elongated shadow. Nobody else seemed to be awake at this hour except for Erwin but he wasn’t in the mood to sit idly and watch him pour over the paperwork Levi had turned in earlier. He tried to remember the last time he had a night where his mind wasn’t filled with thoughts of scouting formations, new recruits and information about the titans; it was as if all other things had been banished to a lone corner in his mind. His newly promoted title had come with a squad of rookies that had yet to form their bond as a team though their skills exceeded his expectation of such young soldiers. It was their lack of relationship as a group that kept them from last expedition and though it was a small one it took countless lives from all three squads that had gone.

The expedition

Levi was never a man that felt stupid or at least often felt stupid but as of now he was sure he was the most idiotic man alive. He had noticed you hadn’t come to his quarters as you usually did but you both had shot up the ranks faster than most and he presumed you were just busy with the added responsibilities. He quickened his pace, flooded with memories of the scouting legions most recent return; a small formation made up of blood soaked soldiers and bandaged men with sullen and lifeless eyes.

You had returned alone, unharmed physically but the mental toll had carved itself deep in your expression. It had been a week since your squad had perished and he could recall the number of times he had interacted with you on one hand. Growling at himself he sped down the hallways and knocked sharply on your bedroom door. He was met with unsettling silence, clicking his tongue in frustration he wrapped his fingers around the brass knob and shoved the door open.

Pale light skidded across the room in a single beam; your bed sat neatly made with your uniform folded and pressed among the empty sheets. An uneasy feeling curled in the pit of his stomach, you had never made your bed properly and he usually was the one stuck pressing your uniforms seeing as you had an abysmal sense of domestic skills. Muttering curses he closed the door and headed towards your office.

Without knocking he swung the door open and stepped inside. Soft candlelight illuminated the small office; stacks of books that had once sat in a pile on the floor had found their way to a dust free bookshelf stacked against a bare wall, his granite eyes skimmed over the recently polished floor, his tired hues reflecting off the wood. Silently he padded over to your mahogany desk and pressed his fingertips onto your cheek, your eyes were open but you remained unmoving.

“_____” He whispered, taking note of the deep ink colored bags beneath your eyes. “When was the last time you slept?”

You shrugged and pushed yourself up off the desk, blinking groggily at him. You missed him terribly but since you had returned from the expedition it was as if you ceased to exist. It felt as though someone had taken all of your feelings and emotions, scooped them out with a spoon and left you open and hollow. You had lost friends before, hell almost your entire class was mutilated in front of you the first time you left the walls but you had always felt something. Anger, grief, loss, guilt they had always been there scratching at your very existence until you could no longer breathe. This time you had become the empty vessel of what was once a strong soldier, floating infinitely between consciousness and despair.

“Sunday night, I think.” You responded. Levi’s eyes widened before sinking back to their half-lidded stare.

“It’s Thursday morning ____.” His voice sounded constricted and strained as he spoke. “Come on, you need to sleep.”

He took your lack of response as an acceptance of his words; he slung his arms around your waist and yanked you into his chest. A familiar feeling of warmth echoed down his body, the scent of your hair was enough to give his heart an extra beat but the guilt was just pouring off your essence, muddling the natural glow you usually had. He had been in that state many times before and you were always by his side, even in the beginning when he was just a criminal from the underground who Erwin yanked to the scouts without explanation.

“Why can’t I feel anything.” You whispered, voice cracking against his ears. He stiffened for a moment before tucking his arm under your knees and lifting you bridal style.

“Sometimes it’s like that. Either you feel all of it or you just feel nothing. It probably doesn’t help that you’re completely exhausted. Why didn’t you come to me?”

“You were busy.”

Your response hit him like a ton of bricks, making his chest squeeze against his already rapidly beating heart. He was clumsy and unsure of what to do in most situations regarding any aspects of love but you had always been patient and understanding. Even his cruel slips of the tongue hadn’t fazed you one bit and it was your undying affection and need for his loving caress that made him fall madly in love so quickly. For you to feel in your greatest hour of need that he was too busy to care for you had given him a feeling similar to dying in slow motion, unrelentingly painful and cruel.

Kicking the door of his room open with his boot, he walked over to the leather couch and gently laid you on your back. He swiftly slipped his boots off and shut the door, locking it behind him before making his way back to you and undoing your harnesses. You stared blankly at the patterns in the ceiling while deft fingers worked you out of your clothing.

“I didn’t mean you did anything wrong Levi. I just meant I knew you were busy with your new squad and everything.” You said, tugging at your bottom lip anxiously; it took so much effort to form coherent sentences lately. “And I didn’t want you to feel responsible for me since I’m such a mess.”

Levi was silent for a minute while he slid your pants down your legs, eyes hungrily taking in the sight of your bare skin. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt you under him, the last time you called his name at the peak of ecstasy or the warmth of your lips hungrily attaching themselves to the skin of his neck. Pulling you up by your shoulders he watched your eyelids attempt to close, your once bright eyes full of fatigue and loss. He ran his fingers along the hem of your shirt before pulling it above your head and tossing into onto the floor.

“Do you remember the first time we met?” He asked calmly pulling you into his lap. You slinked your arms loosely around his neck, a soft smile planted on your face at the memory.

“You mean when you so rudely bumped into me while I was trying to mount my horse for the expedition?” You asked, a playful laugh escaping your mouth. His stomach flipped backwards at the sound of your giggle, it had been too long since he heard it.

“And you called me a fuckass for not apologizing then threw an apple at the back of my head.” He finished, laying his forehead against yours. “I was a mess after we came back from that expedition and even though our only interaction was heated you still stood there, waiting for me to realize I needed somebody to vent to.”

“As I recall you stared blankly at me for a solid twenty minutes and tried to desolate me with your eyes.” You replied tapping his lips with yours finger. He scoffed and placed his hands on your hips, kneading the soft flesh with his thumbs.

“But I didn’t ask you to leave me alone.”

“Yes you did.”

“Fine once, but you’re missing the point brat.” He growled, planting a chaste kiss on your lips. “Taking care of you is not extra baggage to me. The fact that you’ve been awake for three days straight is damn near suicidal, I should have checked up on you right after you got back. How have you gone that long without Erwin or Mike noticing? And Hanji, isn’t she always up your ass?”

“I’m stealthy I guess.” You said with a shrug. He narrowed his eyes at you, his frown deepening. “You did check up on me and I did kind of purposely avoid you afterwards.”

He clicked his tongue and carried you over to the bed, tossing you unceremoniously into the soft comforter. Ridding himself of his belts and clothing he crawled onto the mattress, pulled you into his bare chest and began running his fingers through your hair. A spark of tranquility that started at your scalp quickly spread through your entire body making your muscles finally relax and waned you of any remaining strength that had been used to fight the sleep you so desperately needed. Your heavy eyelids finally closed as the rhythm of his breathing lulled you into a dreamless slumber.

It was dark when your eyes sprang open, the moon hung round and full in the cobalt sky, a single beam of white light cast upon the sleeping man behind you. His head lay tucked behind your head, lips pressed against the base of your neck while his arms secured themselves around your waist. Peering at the wooden clock hanging on the wall you attempted to make out the time but the shadows made it impossible to read. Your muscles felt stiff and rigid, even when you went to stretch your legs it felt as though you were a rubber band ready to snap at any minute.

“Mmm, quit moving.” Levi mumbled sleepily. “Go back to sleep.”

“Levi, its night time. How long have I been asleep?” You asked turning to face him. He sighed and opened one eye, onyx tresses falling around his cheeks.

“A day and a half.”

“WHAT!”

“Shhhh, fuck ____ do you need to yell? It’s late as fuck now go back to sleep.” He grumbled and yanked you into his body. “I told Erwin you hadn’t slept for days and he agreed to let you rest. You can get back into your routine in the morning. Now hush.”

It was a soft pang, barely noticeable in your shocked state, but you were a bit pissed at Levi for snapping at you. It took you a minute to recognize the feeling, but it was there. A wide smile graced your features; the small bout of frustration ebbed away by your cognitive comprehension that pieces of you were finding their way back to their rightful place. Squishing his cheeks together in your palms you pressed your lips to his unsuspecting ones. His eyes flew open for a fraction of a second before closing again, focusing on the soothing rhythm of your mouth melding with his. For the first time in awhile he was the one to pull away for air, his soft lips parted to hide the breathless feeling in his chest.

“Levi, I’m not sleepy anymore..” you whispered, tugging a strand of his hair with your finger. His tongue darted to wet his bottom lip while his hands snaked down your lower back.

“I supposed I could help you find a solution, squad leader.”

“Why thank you for your kindness, corporal.”

Yet another sleepless night awaited you, although it was much more enjoyable with the added company.