Comments: 165
sugerstion [2016-07-25 00:20:50 +0000 UTC]
A graphic and interesting way of pointing out the nature of much business now days. Designed obsolescence is NOT new.
ccc
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Gelfayr [2014-12-03 00:37:32 +0000 UTC]
Great concept and slick execution. Did you ever expand on this?
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LateNightLady [2014-04-10 03:01:48 +0000 UTC]
Would you be at all interested in allowing Divertir Publishing to include this story with our sci-fi anthology?
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MichaelCoolyParker [2014-03-04 16:18:49 +0000 UTC]
this needs to be longer. there is a great story within the walls of this ff
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SurrealGrotesque77 [2012-09-21 07:17:01 +0000 UTC]
If you are interested I am going a cyberpunk issue of my magazine, Surreal Grotesque (www.surrealgrotesque.com) and seeking out submissions, anything from 500-2500 words. Or art pieces of a Strange weird, bizarre, surreal, grotesque, mechanical, dystopic nature. Send any subs to: Surrealgrotesque77@hotmail.com. I also have a group here on deviantart: [link]
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novelist888 [2012-02-19 06:41:28 +0000 UTC]
I am looking for writers, who are interested in science-fiction.
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dragonfire2012 [2011-12-24 05:37:21 +0000 UTC]
i like this very good, lol when i posted mine i was too lazy to indent lolyou should read mine and tell em whatcha think (cos aparently no one else will)
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mikedb1492 [2011-12-18 06:12:18 +0000 UTC]
Hey, I like it. Short, potent, interesting.
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Tristan-the-Dreamer [2011-11-28 05:48:54 +0000 UTC]
I like to read the beginning paragraphs over and over, it's so vivid, especially the knuckle pop echoing in the old ballroom. Every word has a big impact to quickly set up a rich and intriguing scene!
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Alive-N-Kicken [2011-11-25 08:41:24 +0000 UTC]
That is damn awesome man, I'm writing Flash Fiction for my University course, so I had a little ponder to find some redeemable snippets on dA, and this is just amazing.
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novelist888 [2011-11-20 07:27:33 +0000 UTC]
Hey there,
I am creating an online bookstore/publishing site, and I would like you to be part of it. I have created a basic outline to a sci-fi galaxy. People will write about this galaxy and I will publish it.
Surprisingly, I already have about ten writers, three artists and one editor interested. Hopefully you will also be interested.
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seaandsky [2011-10-21 15:50:35 +0000 UTC]
Hey, this is great! I don't read much fiction on DeviantArt that is legitimately readable but this was quite nice. Excellent job!
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Mantisss [2011-09-25 14:03:05 +0000 UTC]
Interesting story.
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Soullessdestiny [2011-05-04 22:41:14 +0000 UTC]
wow i kinda wish there was more.
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eyeofthebeast985 [2011-02-12 01:26:08 +0000 UTC]
Very interesting . . . though i really do despise cliff hangers.
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Biddzy [2010-11-05 01:51:29 +0000 UTC]
nice. Kind of reminds me of the book called The Host.... But I like your writing better. lol
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london-21 [2010-10-27 14:59:38 +0000 UTC]
I love it!
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LilLynxy [2010-06-10 21:56:40 +0000 UTC]
harsh lol still love it
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Yuri-Man [2010-04-11 19:27:48 +0000 UTC]
This is simply wonderful. I loved the imagery; I felt like I was in the room watching this man and woman converse. I can almost form an entire back story for this (just speculation, of course) by how well this is written.
Great job, and congrats on the DD! (I know it has almost been a year, but better late than never, amirite?)
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The-Lady-Blue [2010-02-24 02:16:00 +0000 UTC]
Ooo, creepy and twisted and fascinating! Wonderful idea!
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ShadowRaven1 [2009-07-04 06:09:49 +0000 UTC]
This is fantastically written. I felt chills as I read, and such a twist with the capsule.
I read through a few of the comments and noticed some people comparing it to the work of Stephenie Meyer. While I can see how those connections would be made, this is glorious in a category all on its own. Rarely do I read such a, well, "flash" and feel almost an urge to find out more. I want to know more about the world, the species, and the "service".
Lately I haven't been as impressed with the DDs being given out, but this one deserves it and more. I will absolutely be adding this to my favorites.
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Light-Dark-Dragon [2009-07-04 05:34:57 +0000 UTC]
Wonderfully well written, it reminds me of Poe to some extent; though I'm certain that Poe would never have emphasized corporate corruption in his writing as much as you did.
Very strong imagery that was paced just quickly enough in that small space without struggling to get too much in or ending up either too slow or frenetic.
One thing that bothers me is how little time is devoted to the victim considering how many little moments you fit in for the rest of the cast. Is she meant to be a sort of every-woman?
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Light-Dark-Dragon In reply to PheonixKarr [2009-07-04 16:58:47 +0000 UTC]
Here's a question. When did you learn about Flash Fiction?
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Light-Dark-Dragon In reply to PheonixKarr [2009-07-06 01:24:52 +0000 UTC]
That is some quality work.
Short, sweet, to the point, a little vignette...like a snapshot out of a day.
Comparing the two stories it seems that yours embraced a much more complicated image with lots of energy whereas his took a slow pace, both of which achieved a state in which the reader was willing to continue.
Very interesting. I might have to try this.
Thank you!
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PheonixKarr In reply to Light-Dark-Dragon [2009-07-08 03:11:58 +0000 UTC]
I tend to write for one extreme or the other - full novels or flash fiction. I've never finishing anything like a traditional short story. Its very odd.
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Light-Dark-Dragon In reply to PheonixKarr [2009-07-09 01:20:10 +0000 UTC]
Yeah I know how that goes. I have a really hard time limiting the stuff I write to some nice medium in between either some nice short piece or a much longer story that becomes very difficult to finish.
That happy medium is much harder to accomplish.
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