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PianoxLullaby — Willow
Published: 2009-07-20 05:05:46 +0000 UTC; Views: 547; Favourites: 18; Downloads: 16
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Description
EDIT: I adjusted some things that needed adjusting.
This is my character, Willow. She's from my story/manga which has yet to be written. For those of you who have seen her before, just keep in mind that she gets lots of hair styles and lengths, because of the species she is. (People like her grow hair relatively fast. They have to get it cut, like... every week, lol)
I was listening to A Case of You by Joni Mitchell. Gosh, it's such a pretty song. <333
Willow (c) *PianoxLullaby
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Comments: 48
I was stacked with 700 deviations and never noticed it,sorry
Nice.
She's not mad at me,is she?
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LOL, it's okay.
And no, she's not.
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Cuz her eyebrows seem to look like she's pissed at looking at something,ant from my POV,it's me.LOL
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her hair is kinda poofy...
and the shadowing on her chest looks random...
her top looks a bit crooked...
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Oh, and on a second look she really doesn't have thin lips at all. Taken the mouth on its own the lips are full in proportion to the width of the mouth.
It's just that the mouth is smaller than her eye and only slightly bigger than the tip of her nose.
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That part might be because I cut the lips and then made them larger because before, the mouth was even smaller.
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Very nice! I like her alot! You did a really great job!^^
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She's very pretty and I like your use of colors. The yellow tone of her hair and the color of her eyes look beautiful with the background colors. The palate is really good here.
There are a few things bothering me here.
First is her mouth. I realize you're going for a manga style, but I think a bigger mouth would make her face more pleasing. Also, the cupid bow on the upper lip could be a little softer.
I also can't quite read her expression. She looks very sour (Maybe it's the small mouth) but her eyebrows also look drawn. I can't quite tell how intentional that is, because the rest of her face seems slack and expressionless. So it's like the eyebrows look drawn like in a expression, and the mouth looks pouty but I can't tell because it might just look that way because its tiny, and then the rest of the face is neutral and it's kinda off putting
The last thing is her hair. I realize it's kinda long and full and shaggy and I like the way it's rendered, but the directions are all over the place, giving the impression she has hair growing out of her neck and shoulders. Try to be more specific about where hair starts and stops.
Anyway, that's meant to help and not be mean. You've got talent and I hope this is taken in the constructive spirit it's intended.
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Thank you so much!
I like that you gave me feedback! 
With her lips, I was trying to show that they were thin. I guess I didn't do that well enough. 
With the hair, I've always noticed that hair doesn't ever follow the same exact course. Your hair doesn't all go the same exact way, you always have little bits that flow in every different direction. But, I haven't look at the picture since I got your comment, so it would probably help me out to see it. LOL
Thank you sooo much for the constructive feedback! <333
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Yes, but thin lips does not = a mouth that is smaller than one of her eyes. I realize you're going for an anime style, but it looks really strange. Her nose is actually bigger than her eyes.
LOL and yes, I know hair does not follow the same course. But, I mean you pretty plainly have hair that very clearly would have to originate from her neck, shoulder, and even her armpit and has no other possible origin given the way it is made.
No, hair doesn't all have the same course, but you need to plan out what that changing moving course is, where it originates, and make sure that's on the scalp.
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*** I just went back to check on some of my references, and I do see that I did mess up on some parts with the hair.
And btw, hair can come from your neck, LOL. I would know, my hair-line extends a little bit down my neck. My hairdresser comments on it a bit, LOL.
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See the post.
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I did see it!
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I know, sorry D: I've been having a hard time trying to work with the mouth. >: I'm still working on trying to get features and stuff down since I want to try and make my OC's actually LOOK different from each other, you know what I mean? Before I never really tried that hard, but now I really am trying.
I'm not really going for a 100% anime style, actually, but I can see how people get that from looking at my work, because it is influenced from anime.
And I just have to ask (I went back to look at the hair) how does it look like it was have to come from the armpit or shoulder? And I actually used some reference for the hair a bit. Maybe I'm just blind or somthing, idk, but I'm just lost on that part. You can take a screenshot and draw o it, if you want.
Thanks for taking the time to critique <3
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[link]
Here's what I've done. I took my pen and tablet for a second and scribbled what I meant on your picture so you can see it visually. It helps a lot of people I do critiques for, so I hope it helps you too and that you don't mind.
This was all done really crudely just to demonstrate, so don't think I was trying to improve or anything.
So, anyway, first you can see I kept her lip width the same, but made her mouth wider. Now, rather than having thick lips on a tiny pinhole mouth, she has thin lips on a normal sized mouth. I also redid her eyebrows from angry, drawn brows to something more thoughtful.
I think you can see how those to changes effect her expression and overall face and could make her look more thoughtful and pleasing.
Also, more noticeably I took some colors and followed the pattern of the hair flow that you drew. The green section is the ONLY section that appears to have originated on her head.
On my left side as I look at her, you can see the blue section where I traced it and see its origin, which is clearly on the side of her neck. The pink section also is followed, and clearly giving it's path really can't be originating anywhere BUT that space between the clavicle and her armpit. That's just where it's coming from.
Now, on the right side (my right as I look at her) it's better. But the two lower pieces give the impression of originating from some sort of vertical hairline that extends away from her head starting at her ear, and they don't appear to be from the same origins at all.
Hair moves and flows yes, and the paths of hair are varied and irregular indeed, but hair still has to follow a single path from the tips that goes back to the scalp. Your hair isn't doing that.
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Oh, I don't mind at all. <3
And yes, I noticed the eyebrow thing. Thanks for drawing it out, it helped me see what changes exactly that it would do. And with the lip thing you told me earlier, I had the same idea in mind as you ad drawn here.
I see what you mean by the hair now. I was trying to get it to look like she'd brushed it over her shoulder or something, but I suppose I made the curve a bit too extreme. The drawing really did help me out a bit. 
Thank you so much! I'm sorry if I came off as being like: "NU, I DON'T LIKE YOUR CRITIQUE!! D8<<"
I must confess, I am a little sensitive. I try my hardest not to show that when getting critique, especially when I've asked for it. I always have to tell myself that they're doing it to help, and it really does help.
Again, I apologize if I sounded snooty or anything like that. I really do appreciate that you actually took the time to give me constructive feedback, because not a lot of people do that here on DA. 
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Don't worry about it. I admit I was vaguely wondering if you were going to be someone who would just justify and explain away your critiques, like you think you're perfect and didn't need to improve, but you didn't.
I'm glad.
And I don't mean to sound like I'm perfect and I know everything. Actually, I know full well that a lot of times the drawings I critique are doing better than I could do. But, that doesn't change the fact that I can see what I see.
Anyway, thank you. I know what it is to be sensitive, but we're all artists together.
Hell, have a go at my gallery if you want.
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LOL, yeah. I try not to let my sensitivity get the better of me. I've nearly let it happen to me quite a bit. I actually think I have once, and I'm so embarrassed of it.
Of course. The quality of ones own work never means that they can't see flaws in someone else's.
Hahha, if you'd like me to. XD
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Hey, go for it!
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She's so pretty! Her hair looks so good! And you always do really cool backgrounds and such! Leafs.
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Aaaw, thank you so very, very much, darling!
What background? XD It's just a photoshop brush being taken advantage of! LOOOL
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So! You do what ya gotta do! (And it turned out good, so double points for you! 
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Thank you very much! <3
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Pretty.
I can't wait to read your story/manga, if you decide to post it.
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aaw, thank you! <333
That means a lot to me!
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Aaw, she's prettiful!! <33 I like how you went for a more realistic look! It reminds me of me, but pretty!
I don't think it's so much the thiness but I think her lips look overall small and short, that's all I really see. :3
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Yeah, I wanted her lips to be thin, because tha's something I want Willow to have as a facial feature.
Aaaw, I'm so glad you think so! Felix thinks so, too.
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Yeah I know what you mean. :< It's not the thiness, that's actually really good looking here.
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Super fab! Though you may want to revisit the lips next time as, even though it looks lovely here, they look too small for her face.
Love teh colors tho girl
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Yeah, I was trying to get the look of thin lips, but perhaps I went a little overboard D:
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Maybe a lil XD
You can still make thing lips that are a bit bigger. You have the ability to be awesome
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I suppose I could. I just had to put it back into photoshop to fix her eyes because one of them was too far from the other! D:
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I thought the eyes were lovely
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Aaw, thankies! <3
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