Comments: 22
Saigaaaaaaaaa [2016-01-05 06:25:58 +0000 UTC]
Why is her head so big..? >P>
no offence
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PlushieHime In reply to Saigaaaaaaaaa [2016-06-04 06:30:03 +0000 UTC]
Because I suck at drawing heads I guess lol
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P-INKBLISS [2014-10-10 07:40:46 +0000 UTC]
aw her hair <3
it's just a cutie!!!
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The-Critiquest [2014-09-28 20:40:52 +0000 UTC]
Alright, so you asked me to look this one over, correct?
I always start with the picture. First off, the character has long strwberry blonde looking hair, however you tie it up and keep it out of the way for her so this isn't an issue. The uniform looks good as well and nothing seems to strange. Perhaps a little disproportionate for the drawing, but it's hard to draw, so that's understandable.
Moving onto the actualy bio. Well, the quote is a bit....iffy? But I guess it's not bad either. Everything is fine, though, until 'birthplace.' Most people from Wall Sina don't join the military and it's kind of a thing that's looked down upon. Typically, actually, those who DO come from wall Sina and join, go for the Military Police. However there is one canon character from wall Sina that goes into the Survey Corps, so I can see one who might go into the Garrison as well.
Moving down the line, seems fine for the most part, you're really good at balancing out the stats. The kill numbers also make sense for her character, being in the Garrison unit and what not. I also find it interesting how she's alive in the anime, yet dead in the manga. {Excited to get farther down and read this~}
As for the appearence section. Race is fine, her ethnicity is fine as well (doubt it would be pure German, but not unlikely either.) Her height to weight ratio is good, expecially counting in the mucle mass. And her hair and eye color isn't bad either. Grey is an eye color seen in the series, so I have no issue with it.
Her appearence in the military is good and outside it's fine as well.
Onto her prsonality. She can be lady-like and shy, but when you then state she bold, you're contradicting yourself then. Though the nickname 'princess' is....a bit of a bad idea to go for, her personality DOES give her the air of being like one, as well as with where she's from. I don't have too much of any issue past that, though perhaps try to have at leasy a few people dislike or hate her, otherwise she might come off as a Mary-Sue.
Her Background, well, reading down it, it seems like something I could see someone in the show having as their story. In fact, I kind of like her story. Though I can imagine her family saying something closer to 'if you can, then you should get into the Military Police' since they are the least likely to get hurt and most ikely never to see a titan. Also, as I stated above, I wouldn't have EVERYBODY love her o rlie her in someway. You really have to have someone who dislikes her or else you risk making her a Mary-Sue. I do also like, though, that you gave her a decent sized family and that none of them are dead {which is a bit of an a-typical AoT OC trait} so it's different and I find it nice.
As for her relationships, well....I've already said it enough, I think you get the picture.
Her likes aren't unlikely and fit her character (from what I can tell), though the only thing I might question is the sweets and pastries part. I personally never noted any sweets or pastries over in the series, but then again it's such a minor detail that if it was there, it's possible I just didn't take note of it. With her dislikes, nothing too out of the ordinary, though I might question the bitter food one. Most of the food they eat in the military is probably very bitter, so it might be a bit difficult for her because of that.
Ah, I always love it when people add trivia as well. {Means they have more information than they knew were to put!} Anyhow, the name meaning is interesting and fit her character. On her 3DMG fear, I think that's more of a fear of heights and that's actually interesting that you chose to give that to your character. I can imagine it hindered her at the beginning, but her being in the Gerrison, I guess it wouldn't be TOO important. Even preferring woring the canons, it's a good call on your part {though perhaps explain why she likes the cnons more.} OH, envious crush as well! Maybe you could use that to your advantage? Perhaps make it Mikasa who dislikes her or make it where the two often clash? Maybe it's only on Cher's part and she's always the caus of their fights? Moving on, I do question why her older brother would have been allowed to go into the scouting legion and not her. I would look over that again maybe? Perhaps try to explain it a bit more? Though the letters are nice and clearly not uncommon. Hm, as her older brother is protective of her? I think that could ALSO help you get some people to dislike her, or at least have a healthy fear of befriending her due to her brother.
ON TO SPOILER TERRITORY!
AH, so THAT'S how she dies. I think that sounds like a good choice for her character and really sounds like the ultimate devotion for friendship. And as for the dream, I find that sweet and not too off for the series. Especially since angel Marco makes his own appearence sevral times early on in the show. So it's very possible that would happen.
In the end, I would not call this OC a Mary-Sue. Perhaps a borederline-Sue, though that's easy enough to fix. She's by no means a BAD OC and it seems like you put a lot of thought to try and make her as original as you could, so I have to say this is actually one character that I really like.
If you fix those few things, than would you mind me linking her as a model OC?
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PlushieHime In reply to The-Critiquest [2014-09-29 00:50:44 +0000 UTC]
I'm glad you like most of it aha I've actually had this all in thought and only written down a little, so most of it is memorized by what I've been thinking about for a Garrison member ^^
btw, please excuse the drawing <.< as I'm still practicing and learning haha
- I know it seems iffy aha, but at the time I literally couldn't think of other quotes, and since she loves flowers so much I wanted it to relate to flowers. In that scene, she is talking to Julia a little after she moves in with Cher and her family
- Do you think her coming from wall sina should be changed or should I keep her there? Just to make it a little different and interesting? I know Wall Sina members would go for Military Police, but honestly, I have like 0 interest in that squad
- thank you ^-^ I really didn't wanna make them too over powered or anything, and since she is more on the lady-like side and stuff, I wanted her stats to suit her, so she's a bit weak.
- I thought the same thing, since Cher is a french name, I was thinking of putting "french-german" but I scratched that idea
- Your idea for this section makes a lot of sense. I will change that and probably put down that some of the trainees view her as fakey or superficial, they feel as though her kindness is all an act. As for the bold statement, what I meant was, someone not afraid to speak up for themselves, and for the princess nickname, it could probably be by those that befriend her, because she's kind, and also to those that dislike her, that call her princess in a rather sarcastic way?
- I could see where you're coming from, but they're a typical, care-about-each-other-like family (if that makes sense?), in other words, her parents are over-protective of their kids and doesn't want them to get hurt. I also wanted to make them a bit biased towards the military police, sorta knowing the kind of people that works there, which is why I put down that they didn't agree with her joining at first to go into the trainees squad. They've heard about the titans before so they don't wanna put their lives at risk. However, they come to the agreement of letting her join The Garrison, because they operate the canons and work within the walls. To them, it is safer than the survey corps. As for Hugo (might change his name soon), he's a boy, so to them they feel as though he is stronger than her, and could protect his sister? (is this bogus? lol)
- When I had the sweets and pastries idea, I was thinking about what could be in Wall Sina, since she lived in the innermost district, and what came to me was a bakery with european sweets and pastries xD a flower store also :') which is how I came up with them owning a flower store. Wall Sina to me looks like a place where allthe wealthy or financially stable people live, which is why I thought about those things (bakeries, flower stores, tailors, etc.)
- With her dislikes, maybe she could get abit used to it?or maybe I could change that to spicy foods?
- She likes the canons more because she wouldn't have to be getting too close to any titans or using her 3dmg gear
- I was thinking about that, but Cher's personality wouldn't really go with a girl that keeps clashing with the other, she'd probably most likely be cordial with her, but still feel very envious and somewhat dislike her a bit (especially her attitude). Mikasa would read through that and tell her that she has no interest in jean flat out, then she would begin to realize that the one Mikasa truly has feelings for is Eren, and that she isn't much of a threat after all?
- I second that, I will put down that they have a fear befriending her because of her brother (the boys). Some girls and few boys however, would probably question what's so great about her and dislike her?
- Do you think it would be off to include Kuklo? (from before the fall) as an angel?
- I don't mind at all can you also give your opinion on what you think about the ideas I put here as well?
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The-Critiquest In reply to PlushieHime [2014-09-29 01:15:33 +0000 UTC]
Well, I'll just go down the lien here.
-Ah, well, it's fine then. Friends talk in a more of....iffy kind of way anyway. XD
-No, no, you can leave her being from Wall Sina. Maybe have her strive for MP and not be able to, so the Garrison was her second best option? I don't know, I can imagine that being the best bet, but you do with it what you will.
-Well, it's well balanced and I think you did a great job at it! ^_^
-Ah, French isn't TOO unlikely since that's around Europe as well, so maybe it could work?
-Hm, well, that makes sense then. Though someone who is shy typically isn't someone who can stand up for themselves very well, so that might be something to look over.
-Hm, reading through it, that makes a lot more sense. Thank you for clearing that up. And it's not bogus, it just too a bit of explaining.
-Well, that's true, but most times those who have to work in a flower shop, bakery, tailor, ect, wouldn't be considered financially well off. Though I can imagine those things being in and around wall Sina, so it's not too far-fetched.
-I really am not so sure about her dislikes or what you could do. Maybe getting used to it would be a good idea (like you said) but I'm not sure. That one's all up to you.
-That might be something to mention in it, but it makes sense.
-Ah, yeah, that's a good idea and makes sense for the characters then.
-Yeah, that would make more sense. Almost like a high school type deal XD No, but seriously, people that age are just like that, so it's very possible.
-Well, no, not at all. I mean, like I stated before, Marco appears as an angel several times and is a recurring character, despite being dead majority of the show and manga.
-That's good, and there ya go! I hope this helps.
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The-Critiquest In reply to PlushieHime [2014-09-29 02:39:53 +0000 UTC]
Well, looking it over, it seems just fine now! ^_^ I think you have a lovely OC.
And I'd be glad to when you finish and if you still fee up to it.
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Shorter-Than-Levi [2014-09-27 05:13:52 +0000 UTC]
ooh, another oc~ she's kawaii!
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MaroonMaverick [2014-09-27 02:20:19 +0000 UTC]
cool background
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the-uke-prince [2014-09-27 02:07:47 +0000 UTC]
This looks amazing!
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