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prairiedaisy — subliminal
Published: 2008-10-15 11:30:23 +0000 UTC; Views: 397; Favourites: 7; Downloads: 2
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Description you
are a
botticelli body
underwater, and suddenly
i am shocked by your
backlit beauty.

maybe
it was the shaping
of your skin on unfamiliar film,
or the swan-swept whisper of gauze
clouding your
vision

that told me
that you are less girl
than naiad.

you
are out
of the world in spaces
unnamed, palming paces untamed
as your waterborne locks
weave bowers for
secrets;

there,
my words
rest.
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Comments: 26

cynicalxpoet [2008-10-19 13:04:17 +0000 UTC]

For some reason, this feels finished to me.
I'm not sure if that makes sense. But it feels complete.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

prairiedaisy In reply to cynicalxpoet [2008-10-19 19:44:20 +0000 UTC]

I'm not sure I ever make sense, so that's cool. I hope it really is finished - I have been dithering on this one [but then again I can never be completely sure about any of my work.] Thank you!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

cynicalxpoet In reply to prairiedaisy [2008-10-20 19:05:02 +0000 UTC]

Sure thing ^_^

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

sherrabelle [2008-10-16 21:18:25 +0000 UTC]

I'm in school right now. (So much for getting any work done....)
And
WOW
WOW
WOW
I am so completely blown away by this.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

prairiedaisy In reply to sherrabelle [2008-10-17 00:07:51 +0000 UTC]



quelquetemps, nous devons avoir notre divertissement, non?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

sherrabelle In reply to prairiedaisy [2008-10-17 15:18:56 +0000 UTC]

Indeed!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

pseudometry [2008-10-16 00:11:25 +0000 UTC]

I like the soft rhythm of this, the whole piece too has a gentle tone/sentiment, matches the aquatic references nicely.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

prairiedaisy In reply to pseudometry [2008-10-17 00:09:28 +0000 UTC]

YAY! good to know the intended effect made itself known. though the use of aquatics was really just coincidence; the sea is obviously capable of stupendous rages.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

pseudometry In reply to prairiedaisy [2008-10-17 03:01:57 +0000 UTC]

It is nice to know isn't it?
It surely is.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

prairiedaisy In reply to pseudometry [2008-10-17 09:48:04 +0000 UTC]

to both of those.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

YouInventedMe [2008-10-15 19:29:52 +0000 UTC]

the flow and sentiment are wonderful

very well done


xo!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

prairiedaisy In reply to YouInventedMe [2008-10-15 20:28:32 +0000 UTC]

you are much too magnanimous.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Out-Of-Spite [2008-10-15 16:14:01 +0000 UTC]

you
are out
of the world in spaces
unnamed, palming paces untamed

your allteration and wording are so elegant and intricate
this is gorgeous!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

prairiedaisy In reply to Out-Of-Spite [2008-10-15 16:17:00 +0000 UTC]

thank you. you spoil me, you really do.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Out-Of-Spite In reply to prairiedaisy [2008-10-15 19:29:44 +0000 UTC]


you're welcome!

always glad to do so too

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

prairiedaisy In reply to Out-Of-Spite [2008-10-15 20:28:08 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Snow-Machine [2008-10-15 15:51:12 +0000 UTC]


you
are out
of the world in spaces
unnamed, palming paces untamed
as your waterborne locks
weave bowers for
secrets;

I can never find anything wrong. I'm always just so enchanted by your words.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

prairiedaisy In reply to Snow-Machine [2008-10-15 16:16:22 +0000 UTC]

you are far too kind.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

IAmPhoenixMoth [2008-10-15 13:22:50 +0000 UTC]

I love this one. It's so soft and lovely.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

prairiedaisy In reply to IAmPhoenixMoth [2008-10-15 15:26:36 +0000 UTC]

thank you.

i have been feeling like i need a place to put my words but the back of my mind isn't big enough to accommodate them.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

IAmPhoenixMoth In reply to prairiedaisy [2008-10-15 18:57:58 +0000 UTC]

I don't have words.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

prairiedaisy In reply to IAmPhoenixMoth [2008-10-15 20:27:48 +0000 UTC]

writer's block?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

IAmPhoenixMoth In reply to prairiedaisy [2008-10-16 19:40:20 +0000 UTC]

Block, period.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

prairiedaisy In reply to IAmPhoenixMoth [2008-10-17 00:11:33 +0000 UTC]

aiii. poor sod. did you have it in july too? because there was an epidemic of it then.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

IAmPhoenixMoth In reply to prairiedaisy [2008-10-17 16:45:54 +0000 UTC]

I've had it for months. I don't remember when it started.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

prairiedaisy In reply to IAmPhoenixMoth [2008-10-17 16:46:56 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0