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Description
As they emerged from the burning kitchen, they spied the body of their comrade; the one with the broken-ass legs. Less importantly, he was also very dead. Thankfully, the defibrillator was still right there with him.
"Guys, I know CPR!" Rochelle boasted, immediately rushing to Ellis' corpse and passionately kissing him.
"Girl!" Coach yelled. "No hanky-panky."
Nick began to have second thoughts.
Maybe I should've jumped down and died, then I would be getting all this action.
But soon, Rochelle stopped. "It's not working." She whined.
Nick stopped day-dreaming and picked up the chest-paddles. "Turn him over."
"He's already flat on his back, why-"
But Nick already turned Ellis over and pulled down his pants with inconceivable grace. He applied the shock paddles directly to Ellis' buttocks, one on each cheek, of course.
Coach longed for a cinnamon bun, or maybe a bread bun, or a baguette, and Ellis' perfectly round and white ass cheeks looked almost as delicious. He groaned.
"Work, dammit!" Nick proclaimed, turning the defibrillator on. Ellis' body shook and jolted, but for some reason his heart didn't start again.
"Nick, I think his heart is in his chest." Rochelle informed him.
Nick looked genuinely surprised. "Really? Mine's in my ass."
Rochelle didn't seem convinced. Regardless, the ass-shocking didn't seem to be working, so Nick rolled Ellis' limp body back over and applied the paddles to his chest instead. Nick again turned the defibrillator on. His body was once again jolted with electricity, and this time he choked, coughed, and generally made signs that he was indeed alive. He was dead for some ten minutes, so he probably lost all his brain cells, but Ellis' brain cells were already few and far between, so it mattered little. That's what happens through in-breeding and a lot of alcohol poisoning.
"OUCH! Whatchu guys shockin' me for?!" The hick proclaimed. He rubbed his nipples. That was when he realized that his nipples were scorched, charred black, and they crumbled under his fingertips.
"Well shit." He said earnestly. Nevertheless, he stood up on his miraculously unbroken-ass legs. After all, he had a full 50 health now, non-depleting, so he was feeling pretty good!
A cool breeze swept the lobby of the hotel. Ellis couldn't help but notice his lower regions were quite cold all of a sudden. He looked down and realized his bare ass was exposed, his pants sagging even more than usual.
"Whatchu guys pancin' me for?!" He yelled, beginning to pull them back up.
The three remained silent.

Description
As they emerged from the burning kitchen, they spied the body of their comrade; the one with the broken-ass legs. Less importantly, he was also very dead. Thankfully, the defibrillator was still right there with him.
"Guys, I know CPR!" Rochelle boasted, immediately rushing to Ellis' corpse and passionately kissing him.
"Girl!" Coach yelled. "No hanky-panky."
Nick began to have second thoughts.
Maybe I should've jumped down and died, then I would be getting all this action.
But soon, Rochelle stopped. "It's not working." She whined.
Nick stopped day-dreaming and picked up the chest-paddles. "Turn him over."
"He's already flat on his back, why-"
But Nick already turned Ellis over and pulled down his pants with inconceivable grace. He applied the shock paddles directly to Ellis' buttocks, one on each cheek, of course.
Coach longed for a cinnamon bun, or maybe a bread bun, or a baguette, and Ellis' perfectly round and white ass cheeks looked almost as delicious. He groaned.
"Work, dammit!" Nick proclaimed, turning the defibrillator on. Ellis' body shook and jolted, but for some reason his heart didn't start again.
"Nick, I think his heart is in his chest." Rochelle informed him.
Nick looked genuinely surprised. "Really? Mine's in my ass."
Rochelle didn't seem convinced. Regardless, the ass-shocking didn't seem to be working, so Nick rolled Ellis' limp body back over and applied the paddles to his chest instead. Nick again turned the defibrillator on. His body was once again jolted with electricity, and this time he choked, coughed, and generally made signs that he was indeed alive. He was dead for some ten minutes, so he probably lost all his brain cells, but Ellis' brain cells were already few and far between, so it mattered little. That's what happens through in-breeding and a lot of alcohol poisoning.
"OUCH! Whatchu guys shockin' me for?!" The hick proclaimed. He rubbed his nipples. That was when he realized that his nipples were scorched, charred black, and they crumbled under his fingertips.
"Well shit." He said earnestly. Nevertheless, he stood up on his miraculously unbroken-ass legs. After all, he had a full 50 health now, non-depleting, so he was feeling pretty good!
A cool breeze swept the lobby of the hotel. Ellis couldn't help but notice his lower regions were quite cold all of a sudden. He looked down and realized his bare ass was exposed, his pants sagging even more than usual.
"Whatchu guys pancin' me for?!" He yelled, beginning to pull them back up.
The three remained silent.