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RaltheCommentator — Remembered Alive Pg 3
Published: 2012-12-16 04:32:56 +0000 UTC; Views: 7504; Favourites: 68; Downloads: 17
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( Mickey may be a mouse, but he was way too small in the top panel of my first version of this page. I have GOT to do better with size and perspective. :/ )These villains enjoy Mickey's suffering like kids at Christmas...
I know, a lot of the details for Main Street were missing, but I don't have enough time to fill in every single detail if I want to get the whole thing done in time. I apologize in advance for any disappointment.
I traced over this photo of Main Street for a reference: [link]
The Disneyland castle silhouette shape came from this awesome DA user!
[link] Cover: [link]
Page 1: [link]
Page 2: [link]
Page 4: [link]
Page 5: [link]
Page 6: [link]
Page 7: [link]
Page 8: [link]
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Comments: 33
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This is very good, but do watch out for Hades's nose !
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Awwww...poor Mickey. Hard to believe he would still be so broken up 45 years later, but then anniversaries hit some people that way. And Mickey's eternally young--he probably feels very strongly in general.
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I always pictured Mickey as an orphan, of sorts. Even though he's clearly old enough to take care of himself, he's always been a child at heart.
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He's ageless. He combines the best points of both childhood and adulthood.
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AWW! Poor Mickey! Its always sad to see him cry.....
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Oh, poor Mickey... I wish I could give him a hug and tell him everything will be okay.
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Poor Mickey. He and Walt didn't even get to celebrate one last Christmas together.
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Hey practice makes perfect. You'll see when you'll be drawing more pages, that everything will come to you easier.
My favourite part of this page has to be the focus on Mickey's face in those three panels. The change to sadness is just wonderfully done.
You don't really have to fill in more details of Main street. The statue is an iconic symbol for that part of the park. That it's on the page is enough for the readers to know where you've placed Mickey.
Also I think Malificent could look a bit more evil. Right now she looks a little tame next too Hades but overall not a bad job on drawing her.
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It's great to see a DA artist give me plenty of honest feedback! That's how I'll be a better artist after all.
I'm glad you enjoy this page, even the background in Main Street. XP I plan on making Maleficent more sinister looking in the next page, but I guess I could've given her a more evil smile or something.
Please keep giving me feedback as I go along! I can use the advice.
Also, what do you think of the writing??I don't mean things like spelling or grammar, but if the emotion and message in the writing are good, like Yen Sid's journal entry or how Maleficen compared Mickey Mouse being miserable to a "rare theme park attraction."
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I always try to give a bit of constructive critism next to mentioning some points that really came out well. It indeed helps the artist a bit and that's what DA is for in the first place. To have other artist help those just starting out or wanting to get beter.
It's so sad many seem to forget that though.
Sure thing! I'll try my best to give you a few pointers here and there.
The dialogue seems very strong. Especially the journal entree Yen Sid gave and those pages had the blue bird to keep the sad mood also very intriguing.
The "rare theme park attraction" was something I didn't get right away to be honest. It clicked after a few seconds. But I do believe it's mostly because of how the scentence is formulated rather then what you where trying to establish with her saying that. So emotionaly it's all good.
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Yeah, as much as I appreciate comments like "Great job!" or "Excellent!," it means more to me if someone gives me constructive feedback too.
Yeah, maybe I should've made "this" on "this theme park attraction" more bold or italicized for dramatic emphasis.
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Same here. Even though I'm an mediocre artist at best, it doesn't take an expert to notice mistakes or things that are done very well and stand out.
That's why it always bugs me when I see artist with some potential but they just won't listen to feedback on getting their work to look the best they can. 
Yes that could be an idea. Or leave out 'Theme park' to make it a shorter but equally strong scentence.
That or you could make it something like "You'll only see that theme park attraction once in a lifetime." Which focuses more Malificent pointing out at the scene playing in her orb, rather then that the whole scentence giving a bit of an impression that she's standing a couple of feet away from the scene.
Of course the choice is yours on what you want to do with the dialogue. Most of the time it'll help to just write the whole scene in a screenplay. Dialogue, actions and everything. That way you can revise the whole page before you'll be making it.
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Awesome and touching part here poor Mickey
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yeah... It makes me kind of sad too, it must be harder for mickey
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Thanks
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aww really? that is going to make the comic really touching then, the two brothers together
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Yeah. Why else would I put Ozzie on the cover of this comic? XP
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oh... heh! didn't saw him there, sorry!
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Just be sure to read the other pages too ^^
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This is wonderful!!!! Wonderful and sad!! You did great!
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