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RenOfDarkness — Gorillaz: Who To choose?
Published: 2010-03-26 01:31:25 +0000 UTC; Views: 2769; Favourites: 25; Downloads: 10
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Description
Okay, Azure again, this time having a debate. who should she be with?2D, who helped her when she was in need and gave her a home,
or
Murdocc, with his strange charm and even odder ways. just up her Alley.
In the end she switches around, depending on her wiled moods. and which guy got on her bad side. yep. more stuff on the way.
P.S. oh dear god ignore the guys.....I can't draw them well! (and this was my first time)
I'll practice! I swear!
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Comments: 155
Eurrgh... I'm sorry but, your character is a mary-sue. >.o;; I really don't mean to be mean, I'm just saying this to help you. But I do need to point out, the whole "choose between who she loves--main character a.) who I like, or main character b.) who I also like!" has been done a million times. Plus, the whole "Main character saved me somehow" thing isn't too good either. Again, I'm NOT saying this to hurt your feelings or gang up on you at all; I'm just being helpful. This character is definitely not among the worst I've seen, so that's okay--but be careful, if you don't change it it'll just get worse and worse. And I know you may like your character and not want to change her, but believe me, while YOU may like her, it's really just irritating to everyone else. So keep that in mind if you end up thinking to yourself that I'm just a hater who's jealous, or that I'm just one person and that you like your character too much to change her, and like her the way she is. Because honestly, thoughts like that will not get you ANYWHERE.
But seriously, you have potential. Don't give up; this character could really become a good, well-balanced character with some determination and hard work!
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I don't think you're a hater, a appreciate feedback.
anyways, yes, she dose have some mary sue qualities to her story, but unfortunately they are needed and similar situations does not a mary sue make. 2D helped her, but he didn't really "save" her. she would have lived like she always had lived.
As for the whole "can't choose a lover" thing is mainly because she is vary bipolar. I am aquatinted with several bipolar people, and have even asked someone who's parent is bipolar to check to see if i'm doing it right.
By chance did you read her bio? it's on this picture: [link] and she has another character flaw that i'm not ready to reveal in my story yet. I thought a mary sue war a character with no flaws. My girl has it pretty good, but she has plenty of flaws.
one one thing I have noticed, is that people seem to only be basing their opinions on this one picture. someone thought she was sixteen, when in her bio i clearly state that she is 29 (well, around 29, i haven't calculated new years into it.) maybe you could read the story, and tell me what you think. although, i haven't shown her flaws quite yet, but i'm getting there.
sorry if i come off as a little defensive, but this is the first time that one of my OCs has been called a mary sue, and it's kind of my my biggest worry you just confermed.....
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yes; I did read the profile (and the first chapter of your fanfic) before commenting because I thought it was only fair to give her a chance. Although I still do think she is a mary-sue. A mary-sue is not just defined by a character with no flaws. They're not necessarily perfect, just not a well-rounded believable character. You see, it really seems like you're making her bipolar because you can't decide which of the guys you want her to be with. And, having a mental disorder doesn't always automatically disqualify your character from being a sue. It only counts if it's something that genuinely makes your character seem unattractive--whereas what I've read from your story seems like you're making her bipolarity seem endearing (don't tell me that you're not, please; it's in the writing and whether you intended it like that or not, it still comes off like that); therefore it doesn't count much as a desuifier. Don't get me wrong, you're portraying her bipolarity a lot more realistically than most authors do--a lot of sue-authors use their character being bipolar as an excuse for them to break the rules and raise hell, but have it not be their fault at all because they're bipolar.
Also, I wasn't saying that just because the situation is similar means your character is a sue. I'm saying that the situations themselves are irritating, even if they weren't overdone. And from what I've read of your story, 2D DID save her. I mean, when she's screaming for help in the first paragraph and all--but aside from that, it was still essentially "saving" her. The term does not just apply to something completely life-threatening.
Another thing, on your bio you were talking about what she did for a living. Okay. In my years of seeing street performers, I have never seen anyone capable of simultaneously playing the saxophone, contorting, AND playing the harp with their feet. The human brain is not good at multitasking. It's hard for humans to pat their heads and rub their stomachs at the same time, so concentrating on two pieces of music at the same time is virtually out of the question. A sue does not have to be "flawless", the whole having a really, really unusual/virtually impossible for anyone else and neat skill is also a sue-factor.
One more thing; I do seriously doubt 2D would take in a stranger that randomly. Sure, he's nice, but he's not that stupid. No, I know your character isn't "dangerous" per say, but it's like hitchhiking--you never know if the person you're driving with is a rapist axe-murderer or just a kind soul.
And I understand completely being a tad defensive--the trick is to take some time and rationalize before posting a response. Because right now, I'm sorry, but it really seems like you're just trying to come up with excuses as to why Azure can stay the way she is. However, if you want to improve your character you need to take what people say to heart, and learn to see past the fact that they're saying something is bad about your character. Trust me, I've been in your shoes; in fact, I've been in the exact same position you are in right now, with someone critiquing my characters and catching myself coming up with excuses. I know it's hard, but don't worry, you'll feel good once you've done it.
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Ok, well, i'm taking your critique into consideration, to be applied in future chapters. In the end, she dose stop being indecisive though. just letting you know 
wait.......two pieces of music? She doesn't play the sax and the harp at the same time.....she puts the sax down for that very reason. I think I said she puts it on a stand. Or do you mean the singing part? because I know that can be done.
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okay, thank you. ^-^
Oh. Okay, you had me confused. I thought she was like, playing two instruments at once WHILE contorting and I was like "whuuuuutt." Lolz, sorry for that XDD
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oh, nooooo, i mean, i'm a multitasker, but that is ridiculous XD I should now, my sister plays, like, four instruments and sings, but at different times, so i know it's impossible.
and the only contorting during the harp is her feet XD
I think it's far to change the first chapter though...Does it help knowing that she will choose?
and I totally didn't mean to make her bi-polar disorder seem endearing, that's going to change in the future though...
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Okay, cool haha. XD
Oh hey, it's all good. <3 I didn't mean to be a complete buzz-kill; I'm glad I could help. If it's any consolation, I think you're a very talented artist, and writer. Keep it up~~
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Thank you so much!
at least you aren't rude about it, like the other person.
Hey, will you tune in every so often? to see how I'm doing? I would appreciate the feedback
although the changes will start in chapter four, since chapter three is being typed
I would also like to thank you, i was dreading chapter four because i didn't know what to do for it....but this little chat gave me an idea! thanks again so much!
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oh, certainly; being rude gets you nowhere. <333 (erk--the other person is actually my friend. She was in a really bad mood at the time is all. D:;; I really am sorry about that. )
Sure, in fact I think I'll just watch you <333.
Ooh, can't wait to read it~
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Ah, that would explain it. I was afraid it was my fault.
really? that's so nice of you!!!!!!!!!!!! *goes to watch you back*
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really now?? mary-sue. You need help idk don't choose any of them
I wuv 2D bacause he gave me a home .....no OH GOD no
murdoc...I think thats just plane stupid~
how old is she 16?? and im not trying to be mean but there are TOOO meany mary-sues and people who love gorillaz 2D and murdoc etc. and can't choose who to go out with so I would FIX her up some ok?? again not to be mean just trying to help
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um....she's not 16. she's 29. i think she's around a year younger then 2D.
maybe you should go look at the other picture of her, the one with her biography before you make assumptions.
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no thanks I just wanted to know (2D is 32 but thats ok you where just 2 years off) and you should just still change her its way to over done ok your oc love main person 1 and main person 2 she dose not know who to choose and they both did something for her that was "WOW save her life" you have to CHANGE her up ok??
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Oh, well now he is. when i created her, he was 31.
Well, in the bio i clearly state that she is very bipolar, which can cause her to be indecisive (she also doesn't take medication). in the end she dose choose though. i just haven't decided which yet. but she will pick one of them.
oh, and she doesn't like 2D just because he gave her a home, but that is a starting point.
And for someone who doesn't care, you are awfully persistent...
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why thank you OH and well I WAS JUST TRYING OT HELP YOU.What is it you DON'T get!! and NO don't make her pick one ok are you seeing what im trying to say?! MURDOCIS A ONE NIGHTER thats what he is like. 2D she dosen't like him? Then why is it SHE CAN'T PICK! just CHANGE YOUR OC ok! thats what im trying to say this story is used to much GOD do you understand what I just said right know?? because I can TRY to say it slowly for you...if...you....don't.....get...it....still
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I was just saying it...
and her picking was already in the story line.
Why are you being so nasty? Did i say it in a mean way?
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RUSSEL!!! it must be RUSSEEEEL RUUUUUUUSSSSSSEEEEEL
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complete personality change..........
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yes o3o I was just playing around 
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playing around? i don't think being mean is "playing around".
but whatever, you do what you do.
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I just saying to not pick ANY of them not 2D not murdoc
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And I'm that's not up to you.
I'm sorry, I have made moves to change my character in the future, but i don't know why i should listen to you, especially since you were so rude to me earlier. Your friend was actually polite, and it's because of them that now have inspiration.
I do believe i am done talking with you, it's unfortunate it wasn't more pleasant.
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i'm trying to help you people will not like your oc I hade a mary-sue person and people liked it but then LOTS of people hated it I found out what a mary-sue was and they suck.....why don't you belive me -w0U
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XD
Maybe! stay tuned any you will see
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2D i love 2D murdoc jusst ..... a lil too odd for me lol which one do u like more ??????
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Hmm......I don't know, honestly XD
I like 'em both
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my friend love mudoc but i love 2D it so funny
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the real funny part is i draw he OC al the time for her shes only donr me once and it looked odd but my oc looks a lot like me i think im going to change that
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Huh. Well, i think your OC should look like whatever you want it to look like
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well i ment to look diffrent but i just wanted to gorilla-fi me lol ill work on it
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Trust me, I've thought about this decision a million times!!! X_X
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On one hand, 2-D is a kind and caring guy, but on the other hand, Murdoc is a sexy beast!
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i think she should go with muds. Switching between the two of them is going to only lead to trouble. Plus, muds could handle her
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you'll have to read what happens! 
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yay!!! I will. Im gonna add u so i can!!!
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I'm planning a comic like that
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