HOME | DD

Rogue-Ranger β€” Adoption: The First Option Stamp

Published: 2016-05-29 01:40:49 +0000 UTC; Views: 2276; Favourites: 125; Downloads: 3
Redirect to original
Description I'd rather give a child my love than give a child my genes.

While some people become parents without planning to, many couples make a conscious choice to stop taking birth control and attempt to procreate. They are financially stable and feel ready to raise a child, so they have sex with that intent. If dozens of attempts fail, they may spend thousands on fertility drugs or procedures. If all else fails, they may consider adoption.

However, there are millions of orphans and children around the world who need a home. In the US alone, tens of thousands of children age out of the foster care system every single year, often leaving them homeless. These children need someone who will open their heart and their home to them, but the sad fact is most people choose to produce a new child, even if it's difficult, rather than help the millions who are already here.

Parents can love a child and pass on their genes, but if only a tiny fraction of prospective parents adopted instead or in addition, those millions of children would have homes.

Children need homes and families want children, so why do so many people choose producing more humans instead of caring for those that already exist?

Part is that it's easy as well as being considered "normal" by society, but another part is how many people view children: as possessions.

When many people think of adopting a child, they have a reaction of that child being a stranger and a primal fear instinct briefly flicks in their brain. However, when they think of their biological offspring, it feels familiar, like that child is really "theirs" and a part of them.

But is it really more loving to let children go homeless because you don't think of them as possessions the way you can your biological child? Of course not.

Choosing between love and genes may sound like a false choice, but any couple that can adopt but chooses passing on their genes over adopting a child in need of a family is actively choosing genes over love.

Subconsciously, many people think it's easier to love a child that has their genes than "a stranger's child", but a child is not property of those whose DNA they share. They are not "mine" or "theirs". They are unique human beings with their own lives, souls and rights. Thinking of people as property is not loving. It's slavery.

Not everyone can adopt and not everyone would make a good parent, but there are children who already exist and need love. There are families who want children and feel ready to raise them. The world is not desperately in need of more people. To not consider adoption first places value of a theoretical future person over the many real people who currently exist.

In essence, it's choosing genes over love.

It's incredibly difficult to not have a family, to watch the other kids go home to their parents, to know people would rather breed new kids than adopt you or wait for a baby because they believe it's "a blank slate". All you want is a family to call your own and someone to love you. Is that too much to ask?

No, no it's not.

Adoption: The First Option



Ways that you can help adoptive children (and the shocking statistics of children in need):
fav.me/d9ywmvf

debunks common excuses not to adopt (using cute animals!):

"It's too expensive."

"It's someone else's problem."

"Not everyone is called to adopt."

"We should not take precautions to avoid getting pregnant in order to adopt."

"Jesus didn't adopt."

"How dare you tell me I should adopt!"

"A marriage needs sex to sustain it and that gets in the way of adoption."

"Adoption advocates are judgmental."

"Only having biological children carries on your family line."
Related content
Comments: 88

Rogue-Ranger In reply to ??? [2019-08-26 01:56:36 +0000 UTC]

I would probably say this:


I know that biological instinct and society both reinforce the whole "real family" idea, but I do sincerely believe that love makes a family, not DNA.

Some people have abusive parents or disobedient children. Some people feel closer to their friends than their biological family. There are all kinds of examples out there that show that love trumps DNA. In fact, families typically begin with two unrelated people falling in love. Are they not a "real" family because they don't share the same DNA? No, those two unrelated people make a family, so obviously adopting child wouldn't be an exception.

So, while I understand the fear of being rejected later on, I personally feel that children who were raised by parents who showed a great deal of love for them won't reject their adopted parents in favor of biological parents. They may be curious about their blood relatives since society places so much emphasis on that, but deep down people know that it's not the blood in their heart but the love in their heart that matters. That's why children can reject their biological parents who raised them if that love is absent or strained and embrace their adopted parents if that love is present and abundant.

My mom's biological mom died early this year, but the grief was nowhere near as strong as when her adopted mom died. The woman who raised her was her real mom and my real grandma. It doesn't matter that we didn't share blood. She was no less "real" family.

Her biological mom was a stranger that we got to know later in life, a bonus really but not somehow her "real" mom. The shared DNA didn't magically make us feel stronger emotions or love. As we get to know people, we build bonds and that takes time.

My mom had one of those "finding her real family" moments too, but it was just a discovery process and getting to know people, not some deep connection that people often expect. Once the shock wears off, you realize that you can't replace those you love as family. You can only add to them, which is what happened.

I know a lot of people disagree with my views on this, but I'm just saying what I believe and why. And I really believe that love is stronger than fear and the most a parent can do is to love their adopted child unconditionally and that'll be more than enough. Their child may give into pressures to seek out their biological relatives and even be excited by the discovery, but in the end that love will prevent rejection.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

sarahkitten42 [2018-08-07 16:53:58 +0000 UTC]

As long as the child has love, then it doesn't matter if the parent is blood or not.

And if you're being bullied for being adopted, you can say, "At least my parents CHOSE me. Your parents are stuck with you."

πŸ‘: 1 ⏩: 1

Rogue-Ranger In reply to sarahkitten42 [2018-08-13 23:49:39 +0000 UTC]

Very true and that's a good comeback!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Marbletism [2018-07-27 12:19:17 +0000 UTC]

Adoption is a great first option! It's perfectly fine to have children of your own, but personally I would like to give an already existing child a home instead of having another one.

πŸ‘: 1 ⏩: 1

Rogue-Ranger In reply to Marbletism [2018-08-07 06:22:14 +0000 UTC]

People always have the option of adopting and procreating. Too many people see adoption as some back up plan if everything else fails and I've known women to be absolutely heartbroken when they find out they can't have biological children. So many children already exist and need homes, so I'm glad you're willing to open your heart and home to a child in need.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Marbletism In reply to Rogue-Ranger [2018-08-07 19:22:45 +0000 UTC]

^^

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

MermaidNinja [2018-07-22 01:04:17 +0000 UTC]

I plan on adopting like I was. My adoption was closed, so I have no clue about my bloodline. For all I know, something bad just skipped my generation. There are so many kids out there that need good homes.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Rogue-Ranger In reply to MermaidNinja [2018-08-07 06:19:38 +0000 UTC]

My mom eventually met her biological family because her sister tracked her down and it was like meeting strangers but it did provide some answers to questions she had, like that her biological mom thought my mom would have a better life than being raised homeless at the time. With modern DNA and ancestery sites, it's easier than ever if that's a direction you want to go. Either way, I agree that there are so many kids in need of good homes and thank you for planning to open your heart and home to a child in need.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

flying-wolf-32 [2018-06-24 01:55:28 +0000 UTC]

I agree.Β Β 

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Rogue-Ranger In reply to flying-wolf-32 [2018-06-24 09:26:03 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Adalack [2018-06-21 22:03:40 +0000 UTC]

I agree with you.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Rogue-Ranger In reply to Adalack [2018-06-24 09:26:13 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Phracker [2018-01-10 23:25:10 +0000 UTC]

Completely agreed.Β  We as a culture place too much importance on biological children, like it's the imperative of every individual to reproduce.Β  Adults who choose not to have biological children are not selfish.Β  If anyone's selfish, it's the people who have seven kids that they don't take proper care of because they thought sex would be more fun without a condom and, oops, knocked up again!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Rogue-Ranger In reply to Phracker [2018-01-16 01:49:29 +0000 UTC]

I completely agree with that. But, the most we can do is help spread the message of adoption and dispel the myths around it.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

KAGEVISTA [2017-10-28 15:20:47 +0000 UTC]

I agree. I don't want to have kids, but if I do change my mind, I'm adopting. I'm very tokophobic, and I also have visionary issues. And I shouldn't let a homeless child die just because I should want a "yooneeke" child.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Rogue-Ranger In reply to KAGEVISTA [2017-12-13 23:52:39 +0000 UTC]

I'm not sure what "yooneeke" means, but I can understand your reasoning to adopt, should you decide on raising children. And the child will be very happy for a family.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

AzumetaPraline In reply to Rogue-Ranger [2018-07-25 20:55:54 +0000 UTC]

I think they meant to destroy the word: "unique".

Lol this is 6 months old but I don’t really mind P:

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

SH3LLFIE [2017-10-05 22:00:48 +0000 UTC]

Honestly, I'd rather give birth causeΒ 

1. I can raise them from the start and name them myselfΒ 
2. Adoption can be priceyΒ 
3. The kid could end up being ignorant and rowdy if I haven't raised them their whole lifeΒ 

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 2

Phracker In reply to SH3LLFIE [2018-01-10 23:29:16 +0000 UTC]

#2 is a shitty reason.Β  Raising an average child from birth to adulthood costs hundreds of thousands of dollars either way.Β  If you skip the first few years and just adopt a six-year-old who's already toilet trained and doesn't need to be watched 24/7, then you save a ton of money AND don't have to spend an entire year or so changing diapers.

πŸ‘: 1 ⏩: 2

LadyLambdadelta In reply to Phracker [2018-04-21 14:20:18 +0000 UTC]

My thoughts exactly. If I ever adopt, I'll go for a kid that's toilet trained.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

SH3LLFIE In reply to Phracker [2018-01-11 18:55:31 +0000 UTC]

meh, still rather have a kid on my own so I can say "hey I went through child birth and DIDNT throw my child into the growing orphans" keeping a birthed child helps tooΒ 

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

LadyLambdadelta In reply to SH3LLFIE [2018-04-21 14:17:58 +0000 UTC]

If I ever had a baby I'd give them up for adoption.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Rogue-Ranger In reply to SH3LLFIE [2017-12-13 23:55:25 +0000 UTC]

Giving birth is fine. I just support everyone at least seriously thinking about adoption. Here's a something put together by a friend of mine about adoption and some of the myths, like it's too expensive or the kids may be ignorant or rowdy and much more: unicornarama.deviantart.com/ar…

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 2

AzumetaPraline In reply to Rogue-Ranger [2018-07-25 20:58:25 +0000 UTC]

Maybe one day I’ll adopt (I’m too young though to seriously think about it P: ), but I also want to give birth.Β 

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

SH3LLFIE In reply to Rogue-Ranger [2017-12-14 00:19:52 +0000 UTC]

Still not gonna adopt but ok

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

qrave-digger [2017-05-19 14:56:28 +0000 UTC]

This stamp is so cute <3Β 

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Rogue-Ranger In reply to qrave-digger [2017-05-20 09:45:02 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

FelisLupus [2017-01-28 22:29:33 +0000 UTC]

Honestly, when I create my a webseries later in life, it will promote adoption as well as people with disabilities.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Rogue-Ranger In reply to FelisLupus [2017-01-30 06:58:52 +0000 UTC]

That sounds like a great idea! Many people use their talents just to goof off or make money, so it's wonderful that you'll be using your talents to promote causes and help people.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

FelisLupus In reply to Rogue-Ranger [2017-01-30 18:05:35 +0000 UTC]

I wanna do all three. xD

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

PKNerd [2017-01-26 20:08:23 +0000 UTC]

Yes!!!! This stamp is wonderful!

I love all of your points, and the comics you linked also made amazing points!

Admittedly if I ever find a partner, I would likely just try to adopt an older child rather than having one (especially since I'm pre-everything trans so... owo; )

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 3

Azrael-Legna In reply to PKNerd [2017-02-08 04:11:58 +0000 UTC]

I'd rather get an older child as well, I can't stand babies.Β 

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

FelisLupus In reply to PKNerd [2017-01-28 23:15:32 +0000 UTC]

"Pre-trans?"

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

PKNerd In reply to FelisLupus [2017-01-28 23:20:40 +0000 UTC]

I mean that I haven't gotten a binder, gotten hormones or done anything to transition yet. (Looking back and I realize I worded this a bit weird, apologies. )

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Rogue-Ranger In reply to PKNerd [2017-01-28 06:51:22 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much!

I wish you the best of luck with your future family! I too would adopt an older child, though of course, like you, that would be a while from now.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

PKNerd In reply to Rogue-Ranger [2017-01-30 06:44:02 +0000 UTC]

No problem, and you too. ^^ And thats cool.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

lonket [2016-12-27 01:24:56 +0000 UTC]

do u hav dirty jeans or somethign,, u ken jus go 2 the laundromat if u dnt have a washer

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Rogue-Ranger In reply to lonket [2016-12-29 00:06:01 +0000 UTC]

Love is more important than jeans, even clean ones.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

9fanforever9909 [2016-11-13 22:41:08 +0000 UTC]

I am childfree by choice, but if I was forced to choose between giving birth or adopting, I would adopt. Believe me, NOBODY wants to have my genes. I am disgusted when people want to make more kids, instead of adopting a homeless, starving, thirsty, orphaned child living in danger out on the streets, cold and alone.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Machu-Picchu95 [2016-09-19 12:39:54 +0000 UTC]

Although I am not considering about having children (yet), there is good points in your text and those "anti-adoption logics".

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Rogue-Ranger In reply to Machu-Picchu95 [2016-09-24 07:32:31 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! Obviously someone should wait until they are able to emotionally and financially support their children before weighing their options, but I would hope everyone would at least consider adoption and treat adopted children and biological children equally.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

rockstarcrossing [2016-09-19 00:21:49 +0000 UTC]

It's what people do. Though I would support a couple having a child or two of their own and adopting one.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Rogue-Ranger In reply to rockstarcrossing [2016-09-19 01:25:37 +0000 UTC]

Anything people can do to help give kids a good home is beneficial. Adopted children should be treated with the same love as biological children. Even if only those who paid for fertility treatments instead adopted, we'd be a long way toward solving the problem.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Marc2Shuman [2016-09-09 03:29:10 +0000 UTC]

I agree completely! Overpopulation is a huge problem in today's world and millions of children are waiting to be accepted into a loving and nurturing home. Do not add to the problem of overpopulation you should adopt the children that are already here.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Rogue-Ranger In reply to Marc2Shuman [2016-09-09 06:40:22 +0000 UTC]

Yes, exactly! Thank you!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Marc2Shuman In reply to Rogue-Ranger [2016-09-09 07:39:23 +0000 UTC]

No problem. Any other issues you would like to discuss? This is very entertaining to me plus i like meeting people who use common sense.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Rogue-Ranger In reply to Marc2Shuman [2016-09-12 10:59:59 +0000 UTC]

Is sense really common? I also enjoy meeting new people and discussing various topics. Though I've been trying to decide on a topic but keep thinking of controversial ones, like religion, politics, sexuality, etc. I guess it's just where my mind is right now. So, if you'd like, you can pick a topic.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Marc2Shuman In reply to Rogue-Ranger [2016-09-12 22:44:33 +0000 UTC]

How about self assisted suicide? (Euthanasia)

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Rogue-Ranger In reply to Marc2Shuman [2016-09-14 10:37:36 +0000 UTC]

I tend to be an optimist, so I always think things will get better. I've known people who committed suicide because of circumstances that were temporary and, if they could make it through with help, they would be alright, but they didn't want help or see a way out. Suicide can leave family members and friends in agony, questioning everything, constantly playing things over again in their minds. It's hard to move on.

But that being said, I understand why people want to die on their own terms. I've seen death and that pain and desire to just end. I've seen the painful, choking last breaths and I've seen the calm final breaths. But I consider being in pain and dying as different than someone in a temporary situation or depression.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Marc2Shuman In reply to Rogue-Ranger [2016-09-14 21:10:47 +0000 UTC]

Agreed! I think of it like this what is more humane letting someone live through misery or letting someone go out on their own terms?

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1


| Next =>