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Ryusui — Shoot the Moon
Published: 2005-09-11 18:19:16 +0000 UTC; Views: 167; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 4
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Shoot the Moon.She sighed painfully as she wrapped her frail hand around the door knob, her knuckles protruding so firmly through the starved, blanch skin. She paused a moment to choke back tears again as the knob turned and the door slowly gave way to reveal the room. It was a simple room, a sheen of the lightest shade of baby blue on the walls gave the whole room a glow of innocence, light and laughter. She couldn’t bring herself to smile.
She stepped slowly into the room, her bare feet chilled by the change from carpet to hardwood floor. She took a moment to pull a strand of her coffee colored hair back behind her ear before letting her hands settle on her tummy, as they had so many times before, a smile painting her and David’s face as the felt the little kicks and punches. She closed her eyes, fighting back more tears as part of her waited to feel the kicks again, no more…No more…
As much as she fought, a tear slipped out of her eye, as she reached up to wipe it away, she sniffled at little. As she did so…the almost dead scent of baby’s breath, the flowers David had bought her almost everyday and had placed in this room, to prepare for…
She broke down into small, soft sobs, her one hand wearily trying to wipe away the tears that started to flow, while the other stayed attached just above the worn hemline of her jeans, the touch searching, but gentle…Oh how had gentle she had been with herself, how she had avoided doing ANYTHING she thought would possibly damage them…Them, not even old enough to know if it would’ve been a daughter or a son…
She slowly dropped to her knees, the cold, distant walls offering no comfort or warmth. Only a solemn reminder of how empty it is, and will be. The cool fall breeze coming in to try and offer its estranged comfort, bringing in a dry, crisp fragrance of the world outside of herself. Outside of the starved house, outside of the starved occupants. Trying to make her forget the glorious summer full of expectation, the warm days glowing in the happiness of life. Her sobs were quiet, low sounds as she bent her head down to look at her lower belly and the hand that caressed it. She just stared at it for a little while, in her minds eye she saw the baby, growing slowly but surely, basking in the warm protection of its mother.
“Oh baby…” Her voice just a shuddering whisper, raspy from her sobbing. “I’m sorry I can’t call you anything other then that, you must be lonely, without a name-“ she then broke down into sobs again, her small body shaking for a couple minutes before she could continue again. Flashes of the hospital, the doctors with such solemn faces, the pain…
“Oh baby, I never even saw your face… I never managed to get a glimpse of your face, I’m so sorry…” She doubled over, sobbing fiercely as the tears clung to her cheeks, “But I miss you so much, I feel so lonely without you in my tummy,” Her hand moved in a soothing circle, as she had done every time she felt kicks. “Why do we both have to be lonely?” Her face broke into a smile, despite her tear-stained face, she smiled. “Daddy misses you too, he just has more to occupy his mind than Mommy does, we both miss you baby…”
After a moment of silence, she slowly stood up, her hand finally dropping from her stomach, sliding into the pocket of her jeans, she slowly turned to face the door again, her eyes falling shut as she took in a long deep breath, once again smelling the baby’s breath. Her motherly hand again wrapped around the doorknob. As she did so, her internal ears rang with the sounds of her baby’s laughter, its cries and coos. As the sounds then died away, she opened the door, and stepped back onto carpet, and took one last glance at the room before closing the door. Hopefully, her baby wouldn’t be lonely anymore…
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Comments: 6
How sad... The emotion in this story is so real and moving. Not only that, but it's good to see someone writing about a topic like this. Anyway, good job!
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*sits stunned* I never really wanted children and this didn't change that, but by the gods... that would kill me. I think I would just die.
Your writing is profound.
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My wife, wason bed rest with both of my children, the last months in hospital. Survival was 40/60 at best for both.
I stayed the nights, every night, with the firstborn, just me in a chair,and with the second, with me, mydaughter and a cot.
I sleep little, and walked the halls at night.
I heard many a cry of anguish, far too many, before the sedation took effect - I saw the man, with the case so samll it looked like an accordian case, come to pick up the child. Always in the dark of the night.
I feared nothing more then, than a visit from the man with the black case, nurses nowhere to be found to comfort, doctors hiding from it, and the father,s usually there, but of no help on their own grief.
I thanked god, for each of my child's breaths,
Thank you for this.
John
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That one just ripped my heart out. Very saddening, especially right now.
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i guess I'm a little lost regarding the subject.... so this woman had to get rid of the baby because of complications? or was it an abortion that she didn't want? or what? and I'm a little confused as to what room this is. But even moreso... the baby's breath thing... I know what you were trying to do with it, trying to make some sort of poetic sound, but it really sounds like a weak attempt at something 'wispy' like the word breath, the whole phantom thing... i mean, the piece is good, but I think the baby's breath thing is a little overkill and kind of awkward to read.
other than that, good piece. I dont usually sit down to read original pieces, but yours intrigued me. good job.
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Um, I guess I purposefully left it a little open for imagination. She had a still birth, the subject was originally miscarrige, but after talking to my mom a little I decieded still birth fitted more. As for the baby's breath, gah I'm just have to take that bit out. It's simply that her husband brought several bouqets of baby's breath for the baby's room and she just smelled it. Just kinda wanted it to be the trigger for her to start crying. Oh well....edit edit edit ^_^;
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