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Description
As the pain begins to numb, the carnival music sets in. I am sitting there, the spine visible through this new wound. Black feathers come to creep put forming massive black wings that in case my trembling body. I hear the creeks of the wood as a new weight is added. Then the honey sweet voice hits my ears like a slap in the face. "Well, this really is the least he could do." I look up at her revealing the tear tracks streaming down my face. "After losing six years of control, but you did it your free and not all at the same time." I nod knowing what she means. "Time you can stretch your wings and reach for the sky, with no one alive in your world that knows your sad little story." I look up towards the rolling sky. "Happy belated birthday." She says and I cringe.

No one left out there that knows, but I do, and always will.  "You owe him so much more than you are giving him," she says I look noting the smirk.

I make an annoyed noise, "do you have some sort of attraction to him?" I question.

A wicked Cheshire grin spreads across her face. "A fatal one." She says with a purr at the end. "But, even you know how much you owe him." She says tilting her head smirking.

I just nod, rubbing my eyes. "But, not anymore." You can only be in debt for so long. I feel that I have paid it.

"No you don't." She says reading my mind.

I clasp my hands over my ears and try to block her out as I try to think. "He pulled you from that rotten situation and you repay him by leaving him?" she continues to prod, but at least the wings are retracting. Someone must be taking care of me in the real world for the pain to totally subside like it is. But, all the same I can feel the dangerous venom of pain killers coursing through my system now. They strip me of logic, and take away my control. "Do you really think that is fair, look how far he took you from where you were?" This chide seems so vague but all the same I know what she means without having to think, but she has hit my emergency release button, I spring from the seat and take off on a full out sprint.

I run and run with my eyes closed, I don't need to look ahead the world is mine and will change as it needs to accommodate me. I continue to run, until I hit something slick, my feet slight out from under me, and my chin slams the ground. The clear white tinted ice below me tints red, as blood begins to pour from the fresh bite in my mouth, there are light streaks behind me from the tears in my knees.

I manage to force myself up on my palms, and realize this is much more than ice. It is like a window I can't see out into the real world at the time but I can see the past.  I look down at the little girl that I know is me, huddled in the corner hugging a giant stuffed crocodile, and blanked that shows the ABC's. At that point I was no more than 2. I can't normally remember that far back, but sometimes my dreams allow me to see much more than I wanted to remember.

I crawl away from that image, bringing with me a trail of fresh blood. I know what was coming here; a chilling wind comes over my body, as I crawl this disserted area in desperation on hands and knees. I can't relive this, there is a reason I tell people I can't remember anything before the age of six. That isn't true, the only words missing I don't want to…I look down again. This time the girl is around 4. She had her lighter blonde hair tied in pigtails. It is thin screaming of a health issue, maybe that is the reason that she is in the situation she finds herself in. She wears a little red shirt, and he favorite navy skirt and little socks folded down. Though much happier than the little girl huddled in the corner, she is still far from the normal problems of a child her age must face. She has a back pack that looks like a house on her back. I remember it with a smile. The family would ask if was sure because of the size, but I loved it, because the roof opened and it had a fresh box of crayons and the black and white puppy she slept with. She carried it cause she knew the school did nap time.

She stands there swinging her body in a showy manner. She is so proud, for once she has nice things she looks nice, and her "parents" are snapping pictured of her. She knew this wasn't permanent. She was going to be adopted by friends of this family. Soon to, they spent a lot of time with family. Not to mention this family was majorly involved in the foster care system. They found me my current family. I think back on this as I wipe at my mouth where the tracks of blood are beginning to itch. With that the little girl is tackled to the ground by a laughing boy. In a whiney voice even on his side I can hear her, "No…get off me! You are going to mess me up and I want to look good for the first day." He jokes back saying that she was such a girl. At that time that was the biggest insult to her.

For me a tear finally slips lose, all these are intimately emotional, and locked away from the judging world. It is such a shame that it had to be this way, and things had to go as bad as they did…but I have paid them back and more so….Now I deserve to be free and out of the grasp. But all of his blame on me is not so unjustified.  The black clad foot comes down on my hand and I gasp. "I don't see why you are crying if you fell this isn't your business anymore." I look up at her and begin to feel the crushing weight on my legs. I look back to see them splintering, the bones poke out, as I scream and the shadow makes its way up to my hips. "Think about your past, and tell me you shouldn't go back on your own?" there is now a crushing pain on my chest and I can't take even a shallow breath. Last is the crushing, pain in my head. I can actually feel the bones splintering. "The shadows will always be present." Her voice says with more of a hissing tone to it.

I shake my head from side to side groaning that, "I can't go back…I just got out." I begin to come to feeling a hand stroke my hair. But, the pounding in my head does not subside, but worsens 10 fold as I crack my eyes open.

I wake to a weight on my chest and a hand on my back. Looking up with hazy eyes at Slate, he speaks. "Welcome back Kitten, welcome to the group. Nothing will be kept from you, and someone is dying to see you." He smiles.

Description
As the pain begins to numb, the carnival music sets in. I am sitting there, the spine visible through this new wound. Black feathers come to creep put forming massive black wings that in case my trembling body. I hear the creeks of the wood as a new weight is added. Then the honey sweet voice hits my ears like a slap in the face. "Well, this really is the least he could do." I look up at her revealing the tear tracks streaming down my face. "After losing six years of control, but you did it your free and not all at the same time." I nod knowing what she means. "Time you can stretch your wings and reach for the sky, with no one alive in your world that knows your sad little story." I look up towards the rolling sky. "Happy belated birthday." She says and I cringe.

No one left out there that knows, but I do, and always will.  "You owe him so much more than you are giving him," she says I look noting the smirk.

I make an annoyed noise, "do you have some sort of attraction to him?" I question.

A wicked Cheshire grin spreads across her face. "A fatal one." She says with a purr at the end. "But, even you know how much you owe him." She says tilting her head smirking.

I just nod, rubbing my eyes. "But, not anymore." You can only be in debt for so long. I feel that I have paid it.

"No you don't." She says reading my mind.

I clasp my hands over my ears and try to block her out as I try to think. "He pulled you from that rotten situation and you repay him by leaving him?" she continues to prod, but at least the wings are retracting. Someone must be taking care of me in the real world for the pain to totally subside like it is. But, all the same I can feel the dangerous venom of pain killers coursing through my system now. They strip me of logic, and take away my control. "Do you really think that is fair, look how far he took you from where you were?" This chide seems so vague but all the same I know what she means without having to think, but she has hit my emergency release button, I spring from the seat and take off on a full out sprint.

I run and run with my eyes closed, I don't need to look ahead the world is mine and will change as it needs to accommodate me. I continue to run, until I hit something slick, my feet slight out from under me, and my chin slams the ground. The clear white tinted ice below me tints red, as blood begins to pour from the fresh bite in my mouth, there are light streaks behind me from the tears in my knees.

I manage to force myself up on my palms, and realize this is much more than ice. It is like a window I can't see out into the real world at the time but I can see the past.  I look down at the little girl that I know is me, huddled in the corner hugging a giant stuffed crocodile, and blanked that shows the ABC's. At that point I was no more than 2. I can't normally remember that far back, but sometimes my dreams allow me to see much more than I wanted to remember.

I crawl away from that image, bringing with me a trail of fresh blood. I know what was coming here; a chilling wind comes over my body, as I crawl this disserted area in desperation on hands and knees. I can't relive this, there is a reason I tell people I can't remember anything before the age of six. That isn't true, the only words missing I don't want to…I look down again. This time the girl is around 4. She had her lighter blonde hair tied in pigtails. It is thin screaming of a health issue, maybe that is the reason that she is in the situation she finds herself in. She wears a little red shirt, and he favorite navy skirt and little socks folded down. Though much happier than the little girl huddled in the corner, she is still far from the normal problems of a child her age must face. She has a back pack that looks like a house on her back. I remember it with a smile. The family would ask if was sure because of the size, but I loved it, because the roof opened and it had a fresh box of crayons and the black and white puppy she slept with. She carried it cause she knew the school did nap time.

She stands there swinging her body in a showy manner. She is so proud, for once she has nice things she looks nice, and her "parents" are snapping pictured of her. She knew this wasn't permanent. She was going to be adopted by friends of this family. Soon to, they spent a lot of time with family. Not to mention this family was majorly involved in the foster care system. They found me my current family. I think back on this as I wipe at my mouth where the tracks of blood are beginning to itch. With that the little girl is tackled to the ground by a laughing boy. In a whiney voice even on his side I can hear her, "No…get off me! You are going to mess me up and I want to look good for the first day." He jokes back saying that she was such a girl. At that time that was the biggest insult to her.

For me a tear finally slips lose, all these are intimately emotional, and locked away from the judging world. It is such a shame that it had to be this way, and things had to go as bad as they did…but I have paid them back and more so….Now I deserve to be free and out of the grasp. But all of his blame on me is not so unjustified.  The black clad foot comes down on my hand and I gasp. "I don't see why you are crying if you fell this isn't your business anymore." I look up at her and begin to feel the crushing weight on my legs. I look back to see them splintering, the bones poke out, as I scream and the shadow makes its way up to my hips. "Think about your past, and tell me you shouldn't go back on your own?" there is now a crushing pain on my chest and I can't take even a shallow breath. Last is the crushing, pain in my head. I can actually feel the bones splintering. "The shadows will always be present." Her voice says with more of a hissing tone to it.

I shake my head from side to side groaning that, "I can't go back…I just got out." I begin to come to feeling a hand stroke my hair. But, the pounding in my head does not subside, but worsens 10 fold as I crack my eyes open.

I wake to a weight on my chest and a hand on my back. Looking up with hazy eyes at Slate, he speaks. "Welcome back Kitten, welcome to the group. Nothing will be kept from you, and someone is dying to see you." He smiles.