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Description
I find myself, on certain days, to be short of breath, barely able to walk,
I find my thoughts clouded, directed, pulled… towards a familiar place in my mind,
With nudges, whispers, soft touches of warm memories, directing me there,
To the one place I dare not go… the one place I want to be, despite the pain.

I find myself, on random days, disabled, separated from, and numb to, what used to be,
I find my feelings shouting, from a very far off place, like an echo grafted into the wind,
To the point where I almost can’t eat, where the tears build up like a dam behind my eyes,
And I swell with so many emotions, that it makes me hide my face in shame.

I find myself, on some days, incomplete, insufficient, powerless, weak and small,
I find my strengths to be weaknesses, hold blind spots, and to be erratic in their uses.
On some nights, my dreams take over me, and repeat the memories I suppress,
Like a nightmare, of what once was, a utopia, darkened, jaded, but still in existence.

I find myself on good days, full of light and wisdom, brimming with hope and ambition,
I find myself sharing, giving, and being full of charity and good cheer.
Bringing smiles to the people who often hang their heads low, who are social lepers.
I bring people life, or warmth, or light, all of them, I bring, I find, I give, I share.

I find myself, today, to understand life just a little bit better,
I find that my future, is taking my past, embracing it, changing, and letting it go,
To move forward in ways I never thought possible, never thought I could achieve,
I live a new life, but in rare moments, I wish it could all be different, but I guess… that’s life.

I find myself, to be someone I want to be… a future missionary, a future husband, a great friend, a sympathetic and emotional person, a lover, a fighter, a dreamer, a saint, a thinker, a writer, an artist, a child of God, a hero, a man, a man with a passion, a person with bad memories, a person with hope, a man… of honor… just a good old fashioned, imperfect… human being.

Description
I find myself, on certain days, to be short of breath, barely able to walk,
I find my thoughts clouded, directed, pulled… towards a familiar place in my mind,
With nudges, whispers, soft touches of warm memories, directing me there,
To the one place I dare not go… the one place I want to be, despite the pain.

I find myself, on random days, disabled, separated from, and numb to, what used to be,
I find my feelings shouting, from a very far off place, like an echo grafted into the wind,
To the point where I almost can’t eat, where the tears build up like a dam behind my eyes,
And I swell with so many emotions, that it makes me hide my face in shame.

I find myself, on some days, incomplete, insufficient, powerless, weak and small,
I find my strengths to be weaknesses, hold blind spots, and to be erratic in their uses.
On some nights, my dreams take over me, and repeat the memories I suppress,
Like a nightmare, of what once was, a utopia, darkened, jaded, but still in existence.

I find myself on good days, full of light and wisdom, brimming with hope and ambition,
I find myself sharing, giving, and being full of charity and good cheer.
Bringing smiles to the people who often hang their heads low, who are social lepers.
I bring people life, or warmth, or light, all of them, I bring, I find, I give, I share.

I find myself, today, to understand life just a little bit better,
I find that my future, is taking my past, embracing it, changing, and letting it go,
To move forward in ways I never thought possible, never thought I could achieve,
I live a new life, but in rare moments, I wish it could all be different, but I guess… that’s life.

I find myself, to be someone I want to be… a future missionary, a future husband, a great friend, a sympathetic and emotional person, a lover, a fighter, a dreamer, a saint, a thinker, a writer, an artist, a child of God, a hero, a man, a man with a passion, a person with bad memories, a person with hope, a man… of honor… just a good old fashioned, imperfect… human being.