HOME | DD

Description

Departed - Spirit of the North OST

Sunrise's restless sleep was interrupted.
He slowly opened an eye as he recognized the voice: Polarstag.
The pale older male had been visiting him a lot often since his mother's passing, perhaps even often than Andi and Mira, and Nadia of course. He was sure the Alaka'i was behind it all, with Polarstag being the most experienced Elk Totem of Chandor now that his mother wasn't anymore. Although he did not mind company, Polarstag was pushier than Andi and Mira and did not give up that easily when Sunrise stopped eating after a few bites or decided to go back to sleep after a short conversation. The silver and black male understood what he and the other were doing, really, Polarstag even confronted him regarding what he was going through, telling him about the death of his first mate and unborn children, he was happy to know that his pack was close to him, that they all wanted to make sure he didn't feel alone. But he did. They could all spend their days with him, doing all the things they could
come up with to entertain him, but there would always be something missing.

Tieru.
Not a single day passed that the young wolf didn't think about her and what he might have done to make things different. He should have noticed something was wrong, he had been with her since his beginnings, why didn't he see? Why didn't he feel something was not right? She had also been training Sunrise as a healer, just like her, he should have acted like one and did something regarding the soreness of joints that plagued her during cold season, perhaps if he tried, the outcome would have been different.
Sunrise didn't even remember where he had been that day, when...it happened. All he remembers is Nadia looking for him and then, his whole world collapsed. Sunrise felt like, like when the frozen surface of ice cracks and breaks, when he saw his mother's lifeless body, that's the sound that echoed inside his ears. A loud and horrifying CRACK.
All that followed, for Sunrise it was a blur. Voices that sounded so far away, blurred silhouettes and him being inside a bubble, where nothing else mattered.

Sunrise believes that Polarstag is spending too much of his time with him, a lost cause. Polarstag himself told the younger male that he and Kaen, who'd been mates for a while, were now expecting a litter of pups. He felt the emotion in the paler male's voice when he told him. He should stay with his mate, making sure she was fine, not with him. Just like Andi and Mira, who still came to check on him, sometimes with Nadia. They told him all the events that were taking place: the winter, Rajbera, the tension with another pack. But Sunrise isn't of any company. All those things that would have seen him in first line before, now mattered nothing. Waves washing over a mountain: nothing. He tried, as Polarstag suggested, but he takes no joy nor interest. The thought of the she-wolf he risked so much to see over Aryn, never crosses his mind. Not even Lydia is able to break through the wall that engulfed Sunrise.

And, despite their help or their interest, despite all the support they're showing him, he can't tell them. Sunrise can't share with them the nightmares that plague his sleep. Nightmares of guilt and pain and him being forced to cry, helplessly, over his mother's now cold fur. Nothing he does or says changes anything and he drowns in his despair.
And he most certainly can't tell anyone of those. The flickers of white he sees with the corner of his eyes. It's her, Sunrise is sure. He knows it's her. That transparent white shadow follows him everywhere he goes, he can feel its presence even inside the den, where his mother's scent is now stale and will soon not linger there anymore. The silver and black male dreads that day, everything of her will be gone and he will truly be alone, left with nothing but memories.
Sunrise is tired, so very tired.

But he knows Polarstag is behind him, the older male is in silence, probably waiting for the younger one to get up. Yet all Sunrise wants to do is to stay there, curled up in his bed of moss and grass. He's not hungry or thirsty, he hasn't been for a while and food tastes of nothing.
A soft breeze enters the den after Polarstag and Sunrise shivers. Spring is on its way yet it's still chilly. This winter has been colder, Sunrise reckons. Or was his fur less thicker?
He shuts down the only eye he opened when Polarstag entered the den. Today he really didn't want to go outside, the warmth of his bedding was the only comfort he was getting.
Slowly, he turned his head towards Polarstag, still silently waiting, glanced over him and, as if his body weighted like a boulder, Sunrise gradually got up.
Words count: 844

Drawing, art and Sunrise (c)me

Polarstag (c) Celtic-Barbarian

Characters mentioned: Tieru, Andi, Mila, Nadia and Kaen

Sunrise's pose was referenced from THIS PHOTO

Description

Departed - Spirit of the North OST

Sunrise's restless sleep was interrupted.
He slowly opened an eye as he recognized the voice: Polarstag.
The pale older male had been visiting him a lot often since his mother's passing, perhaps even often than Andi and Mira, and Nadia of course. He was sure the Alaka'i was behind it all, with Polarstag being the most experienced Elk Totem of Chandor now that his mother wasn't anymore. Although he did not mind company, Polarstag was pushier than Andi and Mira and did not give up that easily when Sunrise stopped eating after a few bites or decided to go back to sleep after a short conversation. The silver and black male understood what he and the other were doing, really, Polarstag even confronted him regarding what he was going through, telling him about the death of his first mate and unborn children, he was happy to know that his pack was close to him, that they all wanted to make sure he didn't feel alone. But he did. They could all spend their days with him, doing all the things they could
come up with to entertain him, but there would always be something missing.

Tieru.
Not a single day passed that the young wolf didn't think about her and what he might have done to make things different. He should have noticed something was wrong, he had been with her since his beginnings, why didn't he see? Why didn't he feel something was not right? She had also been training Sunrise as a healer, just like her, he should have acted like one and did something regarding the soreness of joints that plagued her during cold season, perhaps if he tried, the outcome would have been different.
Sunrise didn't even remember where he had been that day, when...it happened. All he remembers is Nadia looking for him and then, his whole world collapsed. Sunrise felt like, like when the frozen surface of ice cracks and breaks, when he saw his mother's lifeless body, that's the sound that echoed inside his ears. A loud and horrifying CRACK.
All that followed, for Sunrise it was a blur. Voices that sounded so far away, blurred silhouettes and him being inside a bubble, where nothing else mattered.

Sunrise believes that Polarstag is spending too much of his time with him, a lost cause. Polarstag himself told the younger male that he and Kaen, who'd been mates for a while, were now expecting a litter of pups. He felt the emotion in the paler male's voice when he told him. He should stay with his mate, making sure she was fine, not with him. Just like Andi and Mira, who still came to check on him, sometimes with Nadia. They told him all the events that were taking place: the winter, Rajbera, the tension with another pack. But Sunrise isn't of any company. All those things that would have seen him in first line before, now mattered nothing. Waves washing over a mountain: nothing. He tried, as Polarstag suggested, but he takes no joy nor interest. The thought of the she-wolf he risked so much to see over Aryn, never crosses his mind. Not even Lydia is able to break through the wall that engulfed Sunrise.

And, despite their help or their interest, despite all the support they're showing him, he can't tell them. Sunrise can't share with them the nightmares that plague his sleep. Nightmares of guilt and pain and him being forced to cry, helplessly, over his mother's now cold fur. Nothing he does or says changes anything and he drowns in his despair.
And he most certainly can't tell anyone of those. The flickers of white he sees with the corner of his eyes. It's her, Sunrise is sure. He knows it's her. That transparent white shadow follows him everywhere he goes, he can feel its presence even inside the den, where his mother's scent is now stale and will soon not linger there anymore. The silver and black male dreads that day, everything of her will be gone and he will truly be alone, left with nothing but memories.
Sunrise is tired, so very tired.

But he knows Polarstag is behind him, the older male is in silence, probably waiting for the younger one to get up. Yet all Sunrise wants to do is to stay there, curled up in his bed of moss and grass. He's not hungry or thirsty, he hasn't been for a while and food tastes of nothing.
A soft breeze enters the den after Polarstag and Sunrise shivers. Spring is on its way yet it's still chilly. This winter has been colder, Sunrise reckons. Or was his fur less thicker?
He shuts down the only eye he opened when Polarstag entered the den. Today he really didn't want to go outside, the warmth of his bedding was the only comfort he was getting.
Slowly, he turned his head towards Polarstag, still silently waiting, glanced over him and, as if his body weighted like a boulder, Sunrise gradually got up.
Words count: 844

Drawing, art and Sunrise (c)me

Polarstag (c) Celtic-Barbarian

Characters mentioned: Tieru, Andi, Mila, Nadia and Kaen

Sunrise's pose was referenced from THIS PHOTO