Comments: 15
purin-it-knightly [2015-07-11 19:34:17 +0000 UTC]
wow. The mental struggle really brought out the emotion in this piece, but the pysical struggle of the battle was equally entertaining. Awesome work :0
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Krisantyne [2015-07-10 16:33:48 +0000 UTC]
Wonderfully emotional dialogue. Q_Q
The battle part is amazing, too. The descriptions of the actions are so vivid, I can see them moving right in front of me. And lastly, I love how Assana analyzes Laura's lack of action, the progression in her thoughts is very natural. Hats off to this piece. <3
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Plutonian-Frostmonky [2015-07-07 23:10:15 +0000 UTC]
That was amazing! The suspense at the begging with Laura's face, the battle was nothing to scoff at but I afocourse prefer the battel of words. She could've just killed the mon and that been it, but she wanted to make sure tehy died in peace and to help laura, that's really bittersweet. kinda ironic since it's gonna go back to killing again
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ShadowCrash13 In reply to Plutonian-Frostmonky [2015-07-08 00:02:22 +0000 UTC]
Assana takes great offense to people who do not seem to care about their Mons. She will not stand for it.
Glad you enjoyed it!
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JadedStrayHyena [2015-06-30 14:34:45 +0000 UTC]
Verbal sparring and emotional combat, holy hell. And I know combat wasn't the focus here, but there's just enough in there that the tease of Mega Aggron makes me wish the entry was longer. Well done here.
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The-Moon-Eevee [2015-06-30 05:48:32 +0000 UTC]
Ok, I'm officially impressed and terrified now. Good job in bringing out all the emotions in the battle.
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ShadowCrash13 In reply to The-Moon-Eevee [2015-06-30 17:58:04 +0000 UTC]
Aw, it's okay. I'm sure that you'll do great yourself. I've seen your work, you're very good. I'm just glad you enjoyed it.
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The-Moon-Eevee In reply to ShadowCrash13 [2015-07-04 20:37:23 +0000 UTC]
History/ Round 3 "She's gone!"
Emmanuel watched his old trainer pace frantically in his office, making calls to the search party. He bowed as he spoke, "Sir, you know as well as I do if he doesn't want her to be found, then they will not be found." He calmly dodged a small pot plant hurled at him.
"I knew keeping that zoroark was a bad idea." The pacing stopped. "Find her. Find her and bring her back."
The mienshao bowed again. "Sir... I think you need to let her do this."
"NO!" Another pot plant shattered itself on the wall. "I will NOT let Laura hurt herself going on some foolish adventure for a foolish dream!"
Emmanuel approached his master cautiously. "Sir... Laura can't live this sheltered life forever. She needs to see the real world with her own eyes, to experience it for herself."
Henry Delune collapsed in his chair. After a long silence, he placed Pretty sure yours is better and not rushed
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LongshotLink [2015-06-30 02:03:06 +0000 UTC]
Damn, now that's how you use emotions in this tournament. Very well done. Only one thing I wanted to point out, just a tiny typo type error
There's no closing bracket there. Other than that this story is very well done. Mega Aggron, huh? Let's see if Laura can stand back up and fight with her Pokemon.
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LongshotLink In reply to ShadowCrash13 [2015-06-30 03:20:13 +0000 UTC]
On the brackets, fair enough. Very cool that you caught it. Still, great piece.
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