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Description
     I feel myself slipping away, trying to hold on to my last strand of reality. The destruction of it all… Have I any sanity left? These shadows pulling with their chains tied around me is unbearable. The hate and agony and utterly cold bitterness that boils inside of me is so far out of reach that it has become a stain on my life, or whatever one might call what I wake up to everyday. I have grown to love the darkness, though. It is inviting. It understands me. It has consumed me. I choke on what bit of light that does touch my face, due to its absence. And when I sleep, all I dream of is waking up. Where are my friends? What happened to them? What happened to me? Why aren't they here to comfort me? My friends… pathetic little insects. Abandoning me when I needed them most. They cut me down when I was weak and left me to bleed. Wait… I hear them again—the monsters that scream my name when I'm alone. I used to beg them to leave me alone, now it's just a part of the sick little cycle that happens every day. Next, I'll feel chains around my neck that the shadows keep pulling on until I start to fade from the lack oxygen, then they'll leave me with the new scar as a souvenir.
     Yet, even with this tortuous cycle, there is still one thing that has kept me alive—the only thing that has kept me from giving up, the one thing that wakes me up when I scream from the nightmares and depression. It's her… The only light that seems to shine on my face that doesn't nearly kill me. She is my life… my world… She provides what nothing else can—safety from myself. Even when I lock myself away deep within a dome of silence and never ending darkness and destroy any way of getting in necessary, she melts through it with her warm, joyful welcome. She embraces me when I'm ready to collapse. She watched over me like an angel when I scream in the middle of the night from nightmares and pain. Amy… when I hear that name, I want to both hide and search for her. The bitter cold that has overtaken me commands me to either run, or kill her. Even when I confess that I have this lust to see her lying in a river of her own blood… Even when I tell her that most of the time I'm with her I wish to see a knife plunged through her heart, she hugs me and cries silently. Not because of fear, but because she knows I'm suffering.
     At times, like now, when I'm on my knees with my face buried in my hands in the dark and I'm demanding her to leave my room before I slide a knife smoothly across her throat in a yelling voice, she crosses her arms and stands in the doorway solemnly. Fits like these have proven dangerous also, like the time I snapped into reality with an unconscious Amy was in my arms and a knife halfway into her stomach. It was a miracle she survived and ever since then when I have a moment of insanity, I tell her to leave me alone and let me suffer by myself. "There's no sense in ruining two lives at once." I'll tell her. She'll look at me softly and reply simply with, "My life is here with you, Shadow."

Sometimes, I want to kill her for reasons I don't even know."Shadow, are you okay?" Amy asks me when she enters the room with some fresh blankets to replace the blood stained ones. I'm looking out of my window at the moon. "You… ask me that every time I bleed from my wounds." Her worried expression only makes me more uneasy. I feel pain again. "I'm fine." I say quickly, hoping to make her feel better so that I won't start suffering again. She nods with a soft and small smile. I relax my head on the back of the wall in relief—the first relief I've had in five weeks or more. Yet, it is short lived. 15 seconds pass and my mind is shrouded with whispers and questions and screams again. I have already adapted to the peace I have just experienced, so the suffering is worse now. I grasp my head and grunt. Amy hears me and runs in; dropping the glass of water she was carrying. When she reached me, I ask her if she can make it stop by any way, but her eyes tear up and she shakes her head. I grab her by her face gently and whisper, "It's not your fault. I'm sorry for asking you to stop the pain when you can't." She hugs me softly, trying not to upset anymore pain inside.
          Later, when I have dozed off on my bed, I feel soft lips skim across my forehead. When I hear the rustle of a housecoat turning, reach out and grab a small wrist. "You know it's dangerous to be here at this hour." I say as I turn my head in the direction of the sounds and open my eyes. Amy looks at me and replies simply with, "I know," and leaves. When I'm finally asleep around 2 o'clock in the morning, I get the urge to harm Amy again. I toss and turn, but all I can think of is how useless she is and how she doesn't really care about me. Why is she even here? I think as pain sweeps over me again. I curl up and hold my stomach. The feeling I get when I lose control has crept up on me and I sit up straight in bed. Amy's face is all I can think of as I enter her room a short minute later. The room is silent. Amy is sleeping with her arms on top of the sheets. The only light is coming from the window and the thick carpet muffles my steps and I walk quickly to the side of her bed. It's like a movie—like I can see myself walking to her from the side with the knife in my hand. When I grab the sheets and jerk them down, she lifts her head and gasps faintly as I press the knife to her throat. She is wearing a thin pink gown with lacy details at the bottom and top.

"Sit up." I say quietly. Her eyes do not leave mine as she obeys. One of the string-like straps on her left shoulder falls and when she reaches to pull it back up, I tell her not to move, merely because I'm more comfortable with her being motionless. Suddenly, I gain control again. My facial expression changes to that of a more worried and shocked one as I back up slowly. When I drop the knife, it sticks straight up in the carpet. Amy looks at me in a funny way and I look away quickly, feeling odd that I'm in her room at this moment. What do I do? The only thing I can do. What will she think of me? It won't matter anymore.

"I'm sorry." I say the only thing that comes to mind as I turn to the door. Then, I feel someone pull my arm back. I turn and see that Amy has shimmied into her housecoat and has me by the arm. "Please don't feel bad." She says almost in a whisper. I face her and just look at her. There's nothing more I need to say—she knows what I could've done… what I almost did. I could've really hurt her. Then, she kisses the corner of my mouth. Judging by her wide eyes, it was involuntary and not purposeful. I didn't mind it. Actually, I rather enjoyed it. It was a gesture that no one has ever offered me before—a gesture that I hope to get again. Again, Amy has torn down the blanket of darkness that surrounds me. I half-smile at her and it feels grand. I can't remember the last time I have smiled.
     I go back to my room and try to sleep, but I keep fighting myself. The warmth and love that Amy has shown me recently has caused me to go into a state of panic and I want to retreat into the silent black dome that I have lived in for two years now. It's all I know. When the sun comes up, I'm sitting by the window. I close my eyes and breathe slowly. I hear a deep, whispery voice. Shadow… It says, Are you really going to give up? We're your family. Are you really going to throw us all away for a girl? I feel guilt now. How can I toss away all that I've known for the last few years of my life? Just as I feel the small spark of joy I've only had for six hours about to extinguish, I hear feminine voice. Hold on. She pauses, then speaks again, Hold on, Shadow. They're not your friends. I am… Sonic is… Tails and Knuckles are… Rouge and Omega are—everyone… Everyone loves you, Shadow. They never left you. They've always wondered what happened to you. The pain in my stomach disappears, but my head explodes with it. No, Shadow! They're using you! Come! What will you do without us? Then, the black fades and I see a single light shining from what seems like a never ending black ceiling. Standing under the light with her hand held out is Amy. She's in a beautiful white dress and her hair is placed perfectly around her face. You're friends need you, Shadow. Just as I reach my hand out to grab hers, shadows starts to swallow me from my legs up. I grit my teeth, I don't want to live in darkness anymore! She has given me a small taste of freedom—of joy! I'm not throwing it away because I love her! Amy hugs me and the shadows scream as they melt off of me. I hug her tightly in my arms in return.

"I love you, Shadow." She says with a tender voice.

"I… I love you too, Amy." I say back.

"I'll never let you go." She assures.

We kiss and the black area explodes with bright white. I feel no more pain—no more sorrow. It all makes me wonder how I was so tortured in the first place. The emptiness in me is not there anymore. The pain has gone away. The darkness is but a distant memory now. Amy's radiant white glow is enchanting and just enough to drown the darkness. My past doesn't matter anymore. My suffering doesn't matter anymore. I've made room for my future—that I want Amy to be a large part of. She's my life… my world… and my bright, new future.

Description
     I feel myself slipping away, trying to hold on to my last strand of reality. The destruction of it all… Have I any sanity left? These shadows pulling with their chains tied around me is unbearable. The hate and agony and utterly cold bitterness that boils inside of me is so far out of reach that it has become a stain on my life, or whatever one might call what I wake up to everyday. I have grown to love the darkness, though. It is inviting. It understands me. It has consumed me. I choke on what bit of light that does touch my face, due to its absence. And when I sleep, all I dream of is waking up. Where are my friends? What happened to them? What happened to me? Why aren't they here to comfort me? My friends… pathetic little insects. Abandoning me when I needed them most. They cut me down when I was weak and left me to bleed. Wait… I hear them again—the monsters that scream my name when I'm alone. I used to beg them to leave me alone, now it's just a part of the sick little cycle that happens every day. Next, I'll feel chains around my neck that the shadows keep pulling on until I start to fade from the lack oxygen, then they'll leave me with the new scar as a souvenir.
     Yet, even with this tortuous cycle, there is still one thing that has kept me alive—the only thing that has kept me from giving up, the one thing that wakes me up when I scream from the nightmares and depression. It's her… The only light that seems to shine on my face that doesn't nearly kill me. She is my life… my world… She provides what nothing else can—safety from myself. Even when I lock myself away deep within a dome of silence and never ending darkness and destroy any way of getting in necessary, she melts through it with her warm, joyful welcome. She embraces me when I'm ready to collapse. She watched over me like an angel when I scream in the middle of the night from nightmares and pain. Amy… when I hear that name, I want to both hide and search for her. The bitter cold that has overtaken me commands me to either run, or kill her. Even when I confess that I have this lust to see her lying in a river of her own blood… Even when I tell her that most of the time I'm with her I wish to see a knife plunged through her heart, she hugs me and cries silently. Not because of fear, but because she knows I'm suffering.
     At times, like now, when I'm on my knees with my face buried in my hands in the dark and I'm demanding her to leave my room before I slide a knife smoothly across her throat in a yelling voice, she crosses her arms and stands in the doorway solemnly. Fits like these have proven dangerous also, like the time I snapped into reality with an unconscious Amy was in my arms and a knife halfway into her stomach. It was a miracle she survived and ever since then when I have a moment of insanity, I tell her to leave me alone and let me suffer by myself. "There's no sense in ruining two lives at once." I'll tell her. She'll look at me softly and reply simply with, "My life is here with you, Shadow."

Sometimes, I want to kill her for reasons I don't even know."Shadow, are you okay?" Amy asks me when she enters the room with some fresh blankets to replace the blood stained ones. I'm looking out of my window at the moon. "You… ask me that every time I bleed from my wounds." Her worried expression only makes me more uneasy. I feel pain again. "I'm fine." I say quickly, hoping to make her feel better so that I won't start suffering again. She nods with a soft and small smile. I relax my head on the back of the wall in relief—the first relief I've had in five weeks or more. Yet, it is short lived. 15 seconds pass and my mind is shrouded with whispers and questions and screams again. I have already adapted to the peace I have just experienced, so the suffering is worse now. I grasp my head and grunt. Amy hears me and runs in; dropping the glass of water she was carrying. When she reached me, I ask her if she can make it stop by any way, but her eyes tear up and she shakes her head. I grab her by her face gently and whisper, "It's not your fault. I'm sorry for asking you to stop the pain when you can't." She hugs me softly, trying not to upset anymore pain inside.
          Later, when I have dozed off on my bed, I feel soft lips skim across my forehead. When I hear the rustle of a housecoat turning, reach out and grab a small wrist. "You know it's dangerous to be here at this hour." I say as I turn my head in the direction of the sounds and open my eyes. Amy looks at me and replies simply with, "I know," and leaves. When I'm finally asleep around 2 o'clock in the morning, I get the urge to harm Amy again. I toss and turn, but all I can think of is how useless she is and how she doesn't really care about me. Why is she even here? I think as pain sweeps over me again. I curl up and hold my stomach. The feeling I get when I lose control has crept up on me and I sit up straight in bed. Amy's face is all I can think of as I enter her room a short minute later. The room is silent. Amy is sleeping with her arms on top of the sheets. The only light is coming from the window and the thick carpet muffles my steps and I walk quickly to the side of her bed. It's like a movie—like I can see myself walking to her from the side with the knife in my hand. When I grab the sheets and jerk them down, she lifts her head and gasps faintly as I press the knife to her throat. She is wearing a thin pink gown with lacy details at the bottom and top.

"Sit up." I say quietly. Her eyes do not leave mine as she obeys. One of the string-like straps on her left shoulder falls and when she reaches to pull it back up, I tell her not to move, merely because I'm more comfortable with her being motionless. Suddenly, I gain control again. My facial expression changes to that of a more worried and shocked one as I back up slowly. When I drop the knife, it sticks straight up in the carpet. Amy looks at me in a funny way and I look away quickly, feeling odd that I'm in her room at this moment. What do I do? The only thing I can do. What will she think of me? It won't matter anymore.

"I'm sorry." I say the only thing that comes to mind as I turn to the door. Then, I feel someone pull my arm back. I turn and see that Amy has shimmied into her housecoat and has me by the arm. "Please don't feel bad." She says almost in a whisper. I face her and just look at her. There's nothing more I need to say—she knows what I could've done… what I almost did. I could've really hurt her. Then, she kisses the corner of my mouth. Judging by her wide eyes, it was involuntary and not purposeful. I didn't mind it. Actually, I rather enjoyed it. It was a gesture that no one has ever offered me before—a gesture that I hope to get again. Again, Amy has torn down the blanket of darkness that surrounds me. I half-smile at her and it feels grand. I can't remember the last time I have smiled.
     I go back to my room and try to sleep, but I keep fighting myself. The warmth and love that Amy has shown me recently has caused me to go into a state of panic and I want to retreat into the silent black dome that I have lived in for two years now. It's all I know. When the sun comes up, I'm sitting by the window. I close my eyes and breathe slowly. I hear a deep, whispery voice. Shadow… It says, Are you really going to give up? We're your family. Are you really going to throw us all away for a girl? I feel guilt now. How can I toss away all that I've known for the last few years of my life? Just as I feel the small spark of joy I've only had for six hours about to extinguish, I hear feminine voice. Hold on. She pauses, then speaks again, Hold on, Shadow. They're not your friends. I am… Sonic is… Tails and Knuckles are… Rouge and Omega are—everyone… Everyone loves you, Shadow. They never left you. They've always wondered what happened to you. The pain in my stomach disappears, but my head explodes with it. No, Shadow! They're using you! Come! What will you do without us? Then, the black fades and I see a single light shining from what seems like a never ending black ceiling. Standing under the light with her hand held out is Amy. She's in a beautiful white dress and her hair is placed perfectly around her face. You're friends need you, Shadow. Just as I reach my hand out to grab hers, shadows starts to swallow me from my legs up. I grit my teeth, I don't want to live in darkness anymore! She has given me a small taste of freedom—of joy! I'm not throwing it away because I love her! Amy hugs me and the shadows scream as they melt off of me. I hug her tightly in my arms in return.

"I love you, Shadow." She says with a tender voice.

"I… I love you too, Amy." I say back.

"I'll never let you go." She assures.

We kiss and the black area explodes with bright white. I feel no more pain—no more sorrow. It all makes me wonder how I was so tortured in the first place. The emptiness in me is not there anymore. The pain has gone away. The darkness is but a distant memory now. Amy's radiant white glow is enchanting and just enough to drown the darkness. My past doesn't matter anymore. My suffering doesn't matter anymore. I've made room for my future—that I want Amy to be a large part of. She's my life… my world… and my bright, new future.